Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #RoyalRumble

game_thrones_khaleesiI caught the beginning of the New Age Outlaws eventual win over Cody Rhodes & Goldust but not the actual victory so I’ll post those thoughts after I actually watch the match. (Next Day Note: I got the chance to watch this one this morning. It was a solid match. It’s still mildly confusing that the WWE puts people, in this instance the New Age Outlawas, in a heel spot while the crowd cheers them. I also don’t like that the bevy of young teams get to sit back and watch this go on. I enjoy the NAO when they come out from time to time but I don’t want to see them on the regular. I will until Wrestlemania at least though.)

The Royal Rumble itself starts with Daniel Bryan taking on Bray Wyatt. I also haven’t done the best of watching this one either. Although as Daniel Bryan gets momentum, it’s a little odd that they’re using this PPV in particular for Wyatt’s coming out party. Bryan goes for a Yes Lock but Wyatt bites his way out of it. Jerry Lawler & JBL do a good job of covering for Bryan doing a splash instead of the Flying Goat Head butt. Wyatt turns a suicide dive into Sister Abigail into the barricade. Sister Abigail in the ring for the win. Um, okay. What does Bryan get as a return win? Why did the Wyatt Family just leave Bryan alone after the match? It makes no sense. Weren’t they promise to bring hell fire and brim stone down on Bryan?

Paul Heyman cuts a brilliant promo. He talks up Big Show then puts over his own talent in Brock Lesnar. Ben Roethlisberger is in attendance. Josh Matthews gets to play in studio host with Ric Flair, Jim Duggan and HBK. I feel like I’ve read about these segments but haven’t sat thru their uncomfortableness. It’s the exact reason I don’t watch studio shows for baseball, basketball, football, hockey or soccer.

Brock Lesnar gets a jump on Big Show. Heyman then gives him a chair. Lesnar beats down Show with the chair. JBL trying to defend Lesnar’s tactics is ill advised. I’m not sure why Mike Chioda is letting this happen. Big Show punches Lesnar after Chioda finally calls for the bell. I figured the chair would get punched into Lesnar’s face. Big Show is doing a good job of selling the chair beat down. Gigantic F5. Lesnar almost lost his balance but he kept it. Lesnar still looking worse for wear. Lesnar grabs another chair. Lesnar going out of his way to hit the back even as Big Show is laying on it. Should Stephanie come out and give Lesnar similar advice that she gave to Randy Orton earlier this week since he’s number one contender? Big show has got to be hurting. I’m not quite sure the point of this segment. I can understand reinforcing the anger angle but it drug out a bit longer than I’d like.

Solid promo out of the Shield. Seth Rollins playing peace keeper. Roman Reigns talking about his swagger was an indication he isn’t going to win. Dean Ambrose cracks me up a little bit. Randy Orton talks down all of his possible opponent. Renee Young in the leather jacket is cracking me up. Is she part of the Greasers? Randy Orton took so long getting down to the ring that I had time to drop off the scorpion peppers I ate last night. I can’t sit down. John Cena makes short order of his entrance. The beginning of this match is slow, which isn’t entirely bad. Cena cracks me up when he takes the stairs because he ducks down into them and pushes them up and away from him. (Next Day Note: Cena’s trying to make it look like it hurts more because of how far the stairs go but it just makes it look more fake to me.) Orton goes for a pin after a DDT but only gets two. I love Orton trolling the crowd. He gets an electric chair for the trolling. Cena and Orton fight back and forth. Cena’s top rope leg drop is awful. I’d have him take that out of his arsenal before any other move. A 2nd countered AA means that the third one will be the charm. Orton does the hanging DDT from the ring apron onto the floor mats. Orton rolls him back in but doesn’t get the pin. Cena locks in the STF but Orton gets to the rope. Orton hangs Cena out to dry. The referee gets knocked out. Of course this would happen in a tradition match. I feel like the WWE has gotten away from the ref bumps. I could be very wrong. Orton nails Cena with the belt. By the time Charles Robinson is awake, Cena kicks out. AA but Orton kicks out. The lady & I aren’t completely sure if the crowd is chanting “This is awful.” RKO but Cena kicks out. The lay out of this match has been odd. I thought they were getting into second gear but it jumped to third. Orton locks in the STF sleeper style. Cena transitions into a cross face. AA to Cena only gets a two count. Cena with the RKO but another kick out. Nice of Orton to jump up on Cena’s shoulders. Tornado DDT by Cena after an Orton reversal. Cena locks in the STF again. Cena drags him into the middle of the ring. The Wyatts music hits. Cena goes after the Wyatts. Randy Orton nails the RKO for the win. Orton walks out thru the crowd. The Wyatts attack John Cena. Sister Abigail. Interesting turn of events. The only reason I have to think Wyatt is a threat is his win earlier tonight, which also came out of nowhere.

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Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies has finally happened

Far be it from me to disparage people making a living but god damn I wish wrestlers would save their god damn money. How else do you explain “Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies”? The movie comes to us from writer and director Cody Knotts. He of such other low budget fare “Breeding Farm” and “Lucifer’s Unholy Desire.”   I just don’t understand when you take a meeting for a low budget movie what pitch these guys heard.

“Alright we have this cool premise guys. We mix the world of zombies and pro wrestling. It is going to be just as good as Zombie Strippers I promise. We have a budget of about $370.00 and a boatload of unfulfilled favors to cash in. The shoot will be magic. We have a shooting schedule of about three days so scheduling will be over a holiday weekend. Believe in me when I Say this will get you in to Hollywood that much faster. Well in your case Mr. Piper I should say back in Hollywood. I mean god damn “They Live” was fucking beautiful.  Now just imagine they alley fight scene but with zombies in a prison with all natural lighting and heavy metal music. How awesome right?  Sure it is an exact rip off of The Walking Dead season but the genre is ripe for some creative borrowing. Hell, The Walking Dead is a mashup of a bunch of other zombie movies. So ya with me? You ready to be a star? ”

So it may not have gone just like that but really could it be that much far off? Who needs the work this badly? Judging the entire movie from the trailer, which is the purpose of a trailer so you know, this looks terrible. Shane Douglas actually is kind of funny because he essentially is playing “The Franchise.” Other than that one item this really looks terrible. Kurt Angle continues his stellar acting gigs but there is no chance of improving over “Buffo The Scary Clown“. No really, this clip is genius.  But the acting is not going to be the worst part of this movie.

Was this flick shot with a flashlight and ketchup bottles? Sure the atmosphere appears to be the inside of a prison and if this isn’t a Kubrick experiment using only natural light then boy is this going to be hard to watch. Literally, this is going to be impossible to tell what the hell is happening.  If you can’t see the action then nothing else matters. Wait I get it now this movie is supposed to be some French Existential film on the absurdity of the zombie genre?

It has occurred to me that maybe I am just being a total dick right now. After watching the trailer for the tenth time this could be a fun movie. So let’s cut the jokes and do some actual commentary.

There are some legitimate issues with the trailer. The music is terrible and far too loud. It covers up too much of the dialogue and doesn’t enhance the action. It isn’t a matter of personal music tastes at all but the screeching 80’s metal god voice is not good for the small amount of time given. Just straight music with no lyrics would have been a better choice.  The lighting of the film, from what was presented, is a big problem. Scenes are just too dark. The shadowing makes it difficult to see the action. I am not sure how this can or even will be addressed in post production but it needs some attention. The acting is about what you should expect from a low budget horror flick starring professional wrestlers not named Dwayne Johnson so that gets a pass.

Guess there is not much else to be said until the final product is released. Make sure and stop back on Stunt Granny as it will be reviewed. (Take that as a request  for a screener copy) -Jeremy

Cast of WWE “Legends House” does Zumba, recreates seven-car pile-up

Click the link below to watch the slow trainwreck.

According to Prowrestling.net (watch the video at this link), the cast of WWE’s new program, “Legends House,” set to air on the WWE Network in April of Fucking Never, attended a Zumba class, because nothing says “retired legend of popular form of entertainment” like a bunch of old fat guys (Jim Duggan, Jimmy Hart, Roddy Piper, Hillbilly Jim, Pat Patterson, Gene Okerlund and Howard Finkel) in ICOPRO tank tops dancing to the latest exercise class fad. I get it, they’re all buffoons, whoopty doo. Between this and other rumored programs such as “WWE Countdown” (where the pimply masses pick the top news of the week) and “Law & Order: KGB” starring Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff and Doug E. Fresh, I cannot wait for the WWE Network to launch sometime around September of When I Put My Balls On a Band Saw. -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio: Royal Rumble 2012 Review

What the hell is this? No your eyes and ears do not deceive you it is an actual pay-per-view review for the 2012 Royal Rumble. Eric and Dusty provide the entertainment with their strong opinions. Boy did they hate this show! But why? What do they feel was done poorly? What would they have done differently? Does one of them give up midway through the audio to go swinging in the barn? You’ll have to listen to find out.

Stunt Granny Show- WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Review

Stunt Granny Audio #167: Nostalgia Special

(Click here to see Jim Duggan on the WHO-13 News in Des Moines! HOOOO!)

Inspired by the nostalgia of Hacksaw Jim Duggan coming to town and the litany of garbagosity that is the crop of champions in TNA, Eric and Dusty bring you a look back at wrestling history and ask the question that has plagued us for about 80 minutes: Could the King of the Ring work, if done right, in today’s WWE? Listen as the guys recount the days when Duggan, Randy Savage, Harley Race and Owen Hart wore the crown. (And then there was Mabel, and Billy Gunn, and William Regal, and…) Who wore it proudly? Who wore it stinkily? Who never really wore it at all? And who would benefit from the royal crown today? Well, listen and find out!

Stunt Granny Audio #167

Stunt Granny Audio: Tragos/Thesz Hall of Fame weekend review

L to R: Eric, Tough Nut to Crack

Eric and Dan traveled to Waterloo, Iowa, this past weekend for the festivities at the National Wrestling Hall of Fame Dan Gable Museum as part of the George Tragos/Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions. Spend two days (well, 60 minutes) with the guys as they discuss everything from chance encounters upon their arrival to the Impact Pro Wrestling training session and independent card featuring Austin Aries, Colt Cabana and Hacksaw Jim Duggan (who did well, who did better than well, and who did fantastic jobs). They even sneak in some anecdotes from that night at the hotel bar with the legends and the guys from IPW. Saturday’s recap includes the roundtable panel discussion with legends including Terry Funk, Baron Von Raschke and Gerald Brisco (worth the price of the DVD, set to be released before next year’s induction), an autograph session (Mad Dog Vachon told Eric a joke worth the price of five DVDs) and the induction ceremony, including Jim Ross’ epic speech (worth the price of 10 DVDs, seriously). An amazing experience, so listen in!

Stunt Granny Audio Waterloo Hall of Fame

Stunt Granny Interview Series: Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Pretend that's this weekend and the guy on the right is Eric.

Oh, you read that right, tough guy: In an effort to promote this weekend’s George Tragos/Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions at the National Wrestling Hall of Fame Dan Gable Museum, Eric landed an interview with Frank Gotch Award recipient and all-time wrestling legend Hacksaw Jim Duggan! The Frank Gotch Award is given annually to an individual who brings positive recognition to professional wrestling through work outside the ring, and Duggan fits that mold perfectly. His strong family ties from childhood to today have inspired Duggan to give back to his community and for the greater good, and Eric asks him about all points in between. From being recruited by Fritz Von Erich to selling out Madison Square Garden against Andre the Giant to his award this weekend, Jim Duggan has seen it all and remained humble along the way. Give this interview a listen, tough guy! (18 minutes)

Stunt Granny Interview Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Stunt Granny Interview Series: Marion Fontaine

The Road to Wrestlelution continues when Kevin talks to the “Megastar” Marion Fontaine about his opponents “Diesel” Kevin Nash and “Omega” Aaron Draven. The person driving Fontaine down that road is none other than “Big Rig” Brodie Lee. How does his partner compare to Nash? What other wrestling organizations has Lee been in? Will his experience against “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan last year at Wrestlelution help his team out this year? What words does he have for the re-emergence of Aaron Draven? Find out that and more when you click the link. You don’t even get charged 35 cents for this Mustache Ride.

Stunt Granny Audio Series- Marion Fontaine

Stunt Granny Audio Show #149.5

Yeah it’s another one of those half a shows you all love. Jeremy and Kevin give you some wrestling talk and you’ll enjoy it for sure. They talk over Gail Kim and her Twitter comments. Is she full of shit? Did she call out creative or is the evil internet making more of a story than need be? Whatever happened to women’s wrestling? The boys get around to talking Pro Wrestling Ohio. They discuss their use of Kevin Nash and how they have been able to adapt to losing talent. There is also some frank talk on certain business practices by other organizations that shouldn’t be much of a surprise but , well, you have to listen.

Stunt Granny Audio #149 and a half

Dan Gable Museum in Waterloo, Iowa, announces banquet participants

He could sign something for YOU!

According to its Facebook page, the National Wrestling Hall of Fame Dan Gable Museum in Waterloo, Iowa, has confirmed Mick Foley as the master of ceremonies for its hall of fame awards banquet on Saturday, July 23, as well as the banquet participants.

Mick Foley has confirmed he will be the master of ceremonies at the George Tragos/Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame banquet. Confirmed participants for the banquet are Mick Foley, Terry Funk, Jim Ross, Gerald Brisco, Jim Duggan, Larry Hennig, Maurice Vachon, Jim Raschke, Danny Hodge, Dan Gable, Pat Miletich, Bob Roop, Scott Teal, and Fritz Von Goering. Order your tickets today.

Well? What in the hell are you waiting for? Dan (Zourah) and I both have our tickets, and so should you. I’m telling you, let’s get Terry Funk lit up on Jack Daniels and see if he’ll tell us some stories. It’ll be glorious. For more information on the weekend, or for information on ordering banquet tickets and professional wrestling show tickets, contact the National Wrestling Hall of Fame Dan Gable Museum at (319) 233-0745 or orders@wrestlingmuseum.org. Tell them Eric from Stunt Granny sent you, I need some cred. -Eric

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