Stunt Granny Audio #240

mullet 001Jeremy & Kevin are your hosts this week. Though they are using better recording technology than a telephone, it is not working all that well to start. Bad connections get them to talk about bad referees. Jeremy veers the conversation into high school photographs. Are the pictures really air brushed now? What hairdo did Jeremy sport?  Kevin would have looked perfect in an Iroc -Z with his hair style. They finally get around to talking about wrestling and start with the imminent departure of AJ Styles from TNA. Why did TNA let him carry the title around the world if they weren’t going to re-sign him? Does the company owe him anything? Does he owe the company anything? Which one of the guys thinks that the WWE machine could turn Styles into something better? Jeremy & Kevin move along to talking about the build to TLC. The final segment sold the Randy Orton vs John Cena match, but did it throw off the story lines for CM Punk and Daniel Bryan? How much speculation came from Punk attacking HHH and Bryan kneeing Shawn Michaels? As for Punk’s opponents, who does Seth Rollins get compared to since he is the least hyped member of the trio? Who can Jeremy see imitating Nick Bockwinkel and Ric Flair in the character department? Can Jeremy remember anyone’s correct name from the Wyatt Family? Him and Kevin end the show giving their prediction for the main event of TLC. Find out who they picked when you click the link below.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

enthusiasmI remember seeing a question posed something like “Would you be okay with Daniel Bryan getting screwed if that means he has a match at Wrestlemania with Shawn Michaels?” Well, we’ve come to that moment when good old HBK gave Bryan Sweet Chin Music at Hell In A Cell last night. I knew it was coming with Bryan going over Orton on both Raw & Smackdown as I said in our preview for HIAC. So I wasn’t surprised when I read the result but I was still disappointed. I wanted to see Bryan get that big win that seems to be lacking for everyone recently except CM Punk. I think it’d be awesome if HBK & Bryan had a match at Wrestlemania. But the reason I suspect my gut was disappointed at Bryan’s loss is the fact that every time I say “I’ll put my faith in the WWE” because I can see a great build up, it never materializes. Time to tune into Raw and find out how things shake out. Let’s roll.

I am glad the CM Punk vs Paul Heyman feud is over. It seemed to have run it’s course for the time being. Of course we get a rematch of Punk & Ryback. Glad I didn’t order last night. John Cena is the first one out the chute though. Of course. The question now is whether he becomes more of a main stay on Smackdown. He calls out JBL for some reason. Cena is doing a terrible impression. (Next Day Edit: Of JBL if you didn’t watch.) Well, he said he’s back in Raw. Now Smackdown too. Question answered. He’s still pretty dumb for coming back this soon. Cena drags Randy Orton into the conversation. Damien Sandow comes down with the briefcase. Sandow goes all doctor on Cena. Sandow ends up attacking Cena’s arm with the briefcase. The old ring post gimmick does the trick every time. So does tossing him into the stairs. Sandow calls for the referee. We get a commercial first.

That ensures that Cena wins, right? Sandow works over the arm. Belly to Belly Suplex gets Cena a break. But not much of one. Cena buys himself time again with a back drop. Holy cow, another commercial. Cena is going to win. Sandow is taking over again. Does this make him look better though? He’s beating up a guy who is inured so much so that a doctor is at ring side. Cena is just an idiot for breaking the count. No Mitchell Cool, it isn’t brave. Cena kicks out of the Termanoose. I haven’t spelled that before. Sandow kicks out after a neck breaker. Sandow with a cross face. Cena counters. Ugh. You’re Welcome? That’s the name of the move? I know it’s his catch phrase but it sounds nonlethal as a move. Attitude Adjustment. Mitchell Cool has an orgasm. I’m disgusted. Dean Ambrose is being made to defend his belt against Big E Langston. Seth Rollins wants to rectify their mistake. Believe in the Shield.

The Shield is in the ring. Big E Langston. Wow, that is a serious gash he got himself. Roman Reigns pulls down the ropes. The Shield attacks. Will Punk return the favor? Nope, the Usos do. I can handle more Usos vs Reigns & Rollins. Brad Maddox is back in action. (Next Day Edit: I suppose it should be noted that Maddox turned the match into a six man tag match.) Big Show is know to have a restraining order against him. Jimmy Uso is getting the beat down. Reigns missed clothesline looked awful even if it was on purpose. Jey gets the hot tag. The splash was his undoing again. I enjoyed the ending with the double spear by Reigns finishing it. The athleticism between the teams is good stuff. They seem to have good chemistry too.

Twice the spear for the same price!

Twice the spear for the same price!

Shawn Michaels doesn’t owe anyone an explanation but we’re going to get one anyway. He requests Daniel Bryan‘s presence. After a nice explanation, Michaels asks Bryan to accept his apology. HBK taught him not to trust anyone last night. Bryan still won’t shake after Shawn’s 2nd line of reasoning. HBK recites his accolades and offers the hand shake a third time. He goes for it and puts on the Yes! Lock. Why are refs coming out now but they let Cena got his ass handed to him? I love JBL’s outrage but his line of reasoning makes no sense.

Renee Young talks to Daniel Bryan. The Wyatt Family attacks. Interesting turn of events. Sister Abigail’s Kiss into chain link fence. We’re supposed to believe that hurts. The case into the head sells better. I’ve lost interest in this whole entrance rather quickly. El Torito has gone black tonight. By the way, all Mitchell Cool or Jerry Lawler needs to say back to JBL is that HBK told Bryan not to trust anyone. So why should HBK trust Bryan? 3MB brought a net to the ring even though they have a 3 on 2 advantage. Ha, JBL notes the color change. My woman thinks she could commentate “this shit” since she called the bull color change. Now she’s trying to tell me she knew what I was thinking. Nope, I stole her idea. I’m an unobservant mook. Slater goes to catch EL Torito. He slides under the ring. Fire extinguisher in the eyes leads to another gore. Double Back Drop for the Los Matadores win. They catch Slater. El Torito nails Slater with some sort of cross body block type move.

AJ Lee is in the ring celebrating. Tamina is in tow. Oh, we get another tag team match. (Next Day Note: I was laughing last night as I tried to retroactively do the set up for the match because I had either FFed thru the entrances or just not been paying attention. Not my best work.) The Bellas are taking on the heels. She’s been forced into the match? Please shoot this down JBL. He doesn’t. Cool does shoot down JBL’s argument about Michaels & Bryan. Wrong segment chief. Jerry Lawler finally gets in my line about not trusting anyone. Tamina can’t seem to slam Nikki properly. She finally gives her a Samoan Drop. AJ is tagged in to tap out Nikki to the Black Widow. The break up of the Bellas is in full motion with Brie getting kicked out of the ring.

We get more Hell In a Cell recap. Kane is back on Raw. The Miz comes out as his opponent. Kane makes short work of the Miz. Mitchell Cool even says so. He calls out Stephanie McMahon. Kane tells her she’s ruined lives. He believes it is best for business. Kane tells her the monster is her’s to unleash. Kane gives her his mask and fake hair. Glad he could get rid of that. Another interesting turn of events.

The Prime Time Players are our salesmen this week. I’d prefer to see these guys in the ring. They’re not as good as the Usos or the Shield but I like them. David Otunga read the complaint from the Big Show on WWE.com. He sells the lawsuit as being legitimate and that it could cause the McMahon’s problems. Interesting again. (Next Day Note: Not interesting at all actually. You never get an actual lawsuit in wrestling. This route is just their out this time around. Note as always, sometimes I’m an idiot.) CM Punk comes out before his match with Ryback. He gets to gloat that Paul Heyman is history. Sounds like he’s ready for a shot at Randy Orton from that speech. He just needs to clear Ryback off his platter once and for all.

Sam Waterston

Can we get Sam Waterston to read all legal action going on in the WWE?

Ryback comes out after we find out that it’s a street fight. Punk went for a cross body for some reason. Ryback using power early. Headkick leads to the elbow through a table. Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice. Ryback taps. Wow, that was entirely too quick. Lawler points out it had all of the voted on gimmicks. Bray Wyatt shows up again. They do the slow roll up the run way. Harper & Rowan attack. How exactly would Punk leave? Through the crowd I suppose. They have the ramp blocked off. He blows out the lamp and they’re on their way already so that avenue is cut off. Punk head butts Wyatt. Sister Abigail again.

The Real Americans are taking on Goldust & Cody Rhodes. Goldust gets the revival of his career talk. Cody and Antonio Cesaro hook up. Goldust tags in with a bull dog. Cody & Swagger come in quickly. All for a commercial break. Swagger is in control of Cody. I want to gouge my eyes out reading the Tweets they put up on the screen. The Double Stomp continues to impress me. Cesaro with the super upper cut. Goldust saves the match. Cody knees Cesaro for an opening. Swagger & Goldust get tags. Vintage hot tag. Goldust with a spinning cross body. Swagger gets the Patriot Lock. After chaos with all four men, Swagger chop blocks Goldust. Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock again. He gets the tap out. These guys finally get a win to go with all of Zeb Colter’s promo time.

Alberto Del Rio doesn’t care about Damien Sandow. John Cena stole his title. He’s going to make his arm a target. He seems to have lost some gusto.

Fandango actually escorted Summer Rae out to the ring. The Great Khali & Hornswoggle bring out Natalya. I had no idea Summer Rae got the pin on Natalya. Summer is doing more show material than actual wrestling. She’s definitely flexible. Natalya sparked the match for about five seconds. A bunch of rest holds. The more the announcers call for the upset, the less I expect it. Summer Rae bitches at Khali for beating up Fandango. Sharpshooter for the win. What a pathetic win.

HHH presents Randy Orton to us. I can’t wait until Herb Dean turns on someone in a big championship match. (Next Day Note: For those of you that don’t watch the UFC, he’s one of their referees. He’ll never attack someone during a fight.) JBL is very proud of an AWOL Marine who shits in women’s bags. Good for you. Steph gets to be condescending. More respect is needed. Randy Orton isn’t as good as Steph in condescension. Big Show gets Steph, Randy Orton & HHH to run. Randy Orton attacks from behind. He still gets knocked out. HHH pretends to man up. Big Show is sporting a new shirt which is hilarious. He doesn’t work for us but we’re making him new t shirt designs! – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

1982-Wolverine-Issue 1I was watching Comic Book Men before I started the column. The above comic might be the one that I own with any real value. I can’t really call myself a comic book guy at this point though. I haven’t bought anything in at least a decade. I don’t count buying “The Walking Dead” or Dragonball Z mangas for my good buddy Ken. I do enjoy getting a peak at some cool ass items on this show. I could care less if it’s staged or not. Enough babble. Let’s roll.

Shawn Michaels gets the opening segment. All of the announcers agree that he’ll call it straight down the line. Should I take that as a hint or are the announcers just stating the obvious. HBShizzle doesn’t get much mic time before Randy Orton shows his ugly mug. Orton goes for the “I’m better than you ever were” agitation. It fails. Orton goes on a tirade then. Shawn threatens Sweet Chin Music. Orton attacks him from behind. They both almost hit their finishers. The Miz attacks Orton. We get a commercial. The Miz should have left his mom at home according to JBL. Ha. When they do a close up on Orton’s arms, it really shows how bad those original tattoos were. They stick out even though he got well done ones on the rest of his arm to try and hide them. I do forget about the difference more when the shot is out further. After some offense by Orton, Miz gets back on a roll. The Miz starts to put on the figure four when the lights go out. The Wyatt Family is on the stage. Orton RKOs the Miz. I’m glad King agreed with JBL about the Miz taking his eye off the prize. Bray Wyatt says he hates fame. Wyatt threatens to put him down.

I just thought about this with Fandango‘s entrance, we didn’t even get Fandango at last week’s Smackdown. We got seriously hosed. Santino Marella is his opponent. Fandango got the early jump. Santino did a modified Stunner to start his come back. Summer Rae “distracts” Santino when he simply stops from nailing her with the Cobra. Fandango rolls him up for the win.

Paul Heyman has Brad Maddox‘s ear. Heyman claims Maddox was made the fool by CM Punk. Maddox doesn’t cave to him. Maddox has a beat the clock challenge for Punk & Ryback to determine their stipulation at HIAC. Xavier Woods from NXT started a petition for Big Show to be re-instated. JBL is angry about it. I just smell another call up. John Cena gets his Superman video package. El Torito comes out with Los Matadores. Ole! into commercial break.

Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre are their opponents. Jinder Mahal is at ringside for 3MB. Diego starts against McIntyre. They are on the El Torito band wagon. Double Samoan Drop for the win. Wow, Jeremy nailed it so far with the “boring show” label. Good gravy. It’s not terrible but it’s just there. (Next Day Edit: After looking for places for more comments, I can’t find one. The show was just there. Still. Predictable and executed well. This note should be at the end of the column but fits better here.)

HHH & Big Steph get to the top of the hour. Big Steph does the caring wife angle. HHH is going to be a villain since everyone is painting them that way. Daniel Bryan comes out. Before anything is said, Alberto Del Rio attacks. Del Rio kicks him in the head. Steph makes a match between the two tonight.

R Truth is a smart baby face and goes to the outside instead of letting Ryback attack him. The plan falls apart when Truth halts for Heyman. Ryback gets the offense going but tries for a pin after every move. Completely bizarre to see Ryback rolling up Truth. That shouldn’t be in his power move set. Truth gets in some offense at the 4:30 mark. Shell Shock at 5:44. It wasn’t much offense.

Big Steph is angry at Brie Bella. Nikki has to stay in the back during the match. It is spiteful for Steph to assign a match between Brie & Tamina “I Never Win Despite My Size and Name” Snuka. I’m siding with JBL but not for his reason. Tons of Funk get a full entrance. Commercial. The Real Americans and Zeb Colter are mad at Los Matadores. It was only a matter of time until they jobbed to the new guys. Swagger Bomb is followed by Cesaro vaulting Swagger for the double stomp. That is an impressive move by the big man. Xavier Woods gets more air time. Brodus gets the hot tag. Clay with a PerfectPlex. I’m so lost on big man moves tonight. Cesaro turns it with an European Upper Cut. Cesaro with the Neutralizer for the win. Cesaro with the Big Swing on Tensai after the match.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

I have the feeling we're not going to get all of the power.

It’s time for the weekly party that is Raw. I’m lucky enough to get back to back three hour reviews. Hey, it’ll probably only last as long as Impact Wrestling and Smackdown lasted combined. I’m starting around 9:23 PM so I’ll be live at some point. Let’s roll.

Punk opens the show. Got to love it. Ah crap, Booker is on this show too? It’s too much to ask to have separate teams I suppose. Punk said he’s number 1 contender because of his wins over Mysterio and Cena in the week. He kindly asks for a shot at the title in his home town for TLC (I’m a dope. MIB). Punk’s facial sell the GM’s decision not to make him No. 1 contender. Punk has to earn the spot against Alberto Del Rio. Rey gets to join the party. Oh goody, someone got to choose who Brie would defend her belt against.

They gave us a whole commercial break to vote. Kelly Kelly wins the vote by a land slide. I couldn’t believe Jason Powell didn’t know who Keith Stone was. He must have missed this past football, hockey and basketball seasons. These two aren’t going to bring back women’s wrestling. KK’s boobs are different colors and it’s distracting me. I mean her bikini top. She wins the Divas Title. King gets in the ring and interviews her. It stunk. Evan Bourne video package. My boy Dolph had one last week. Wonder if it’ll be a new trend to signal who they’re pushing. Two examples don’t prove a pattern. You have to wait for #3 before that emerges. We get to chose his opponent. Swagger, Ryan or Sin Cara. I hope Bourne can teach him how not to be sloppy and a high flyer.

The WWE selects Ryan for us. Lots of dancing by Bourne early. Has Mason Ryan stolen Batista’s trunks now? Bourne is at least showing Sin Cara how to sell. He’s a great flopper. Cole tells Lawler to defend the Universe’s choice. It’s easy, see my first statement.  World’s slowest small package. Urinogi by Ryan. Cole is rubbing it in to the WWE Universe. Is the berating of the WWEU stupider than the Capitol Punishment skits? It’s close. Kane vs. Henry in a gimmick match.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

I used this picture a while back. It's back because the Bruins are mauling the Canucks right now.

As is the case when the Stanley Cup Finals roll around, I have split attention during Raw. I’ll probably post the opening segment in between the first and second period then another segment during the next intermission. The only way I get out of this cycle is if Sean leaves. He’s from Boston. Wouldn’t you still keep watching this blowout (4-0) if you were on the ass kicking end?

The Miz is back to looking dapper. Miz cracking wise about Weiner. Miz having a good point about the Attitude Era stars but you aren’t drawing. Neither is Cena. Or at least not well enough. Stone Cold coming out. Man, they are dragging out the All Stars. Piper’s Pit with Miz & Riley. Why does the Miz have on sneakers though? Man, stay classy Miz. They are really trying to prop up the heels by having them go one on one with Stone Cold. They got no one to put people over than those retired. Pretty pathetic. Del Rio gets to beat Kane. Good for him.

The action got kicked off after a commercial.  Cole & Lawler bickering about Del Rio and Big Show’s auto damage is more interesting than this match. Not good news. Thank goodness Kane broke the hold, ahh, sneaky heel wants to break the elbow. Big Show makes the save but Kane backs him off. What is happening to Kane? He’s getting soft in his old age. No big surprise that Big Show and Del Rio are added to Capitol Punishment.

Sin Cara still gets the big entrance even though he’s the worst wrestler in the ring. Bryan comes in to sell because Zeke cant take the beating. Rhodes & DiBiase makes the save but get tossed. Sin Cara gets a cheap victory. I’m arguing with Sean about flashy moves between John Morrison and Sin Cara. He’s been over here too many weeks now. He kn0ws something about wrestling.

Hornswoggle is waiting for R Truth. Hilarious.  Truth better get shot in the nuts. He gets hit but Truth goes for the midget attack. Midget kick in the face. Well played Truth. John Morrison is the way Austin makes things right. Isn’t it a little early to blow this wad? Another midget kicking.

Santino gets to job to Sheamus. Awesome, a “We want Ryder” chant. Sheamus breaks out a Sharpshooter of sorts. Cool. Lawler corrects me and calls it a Cloverleaf.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

Big Week here at Stunt Granny HQ.

I typed in “Big Week” in the Google image search. I had a hard time figuring out why this would be under that category. I guess spring break is a big week. I only had a real spring break when I was studying over in Italy. That ruled.

CM Punk is sitting Indian style in the ring. Nice start. Never would think they’d go in this direction. Huge reaction for him. Are we in Canada? An excellent choice for an opener. This feud needed more time on TV than it has gotten. Punk gets the DDT. Randall thinking about the punt.  Crowd against Punk now. Keith collapses under his own weight. Crowd chants CM Punk. I’m confused. Randy chant. Make up your mind.Orton is playing hurt well. Punk hits the GTS but gets to lose at Wrestlemania. Punk is one of the few people to not get embarrassed in his hometown.

Edge explains that he can attack Del Rio on Raw. Christian and him are headed to the ring.

Grabbed myself a beer. Yuengling rocks. I’m trying out how to pimp this blog. Flipping through my Twitter as Del Rio takes his grand time getting to the ring. Dana White pimped the #WWE because his boy the Rock is on Raw. Nothing going on in the match with Clay starting for the heels.

Clay has to be called impressive. Dude has had 3 matches in the last week. Who was the winner of NXT again? Del Rio trips up Edge going for the spear. Edge ends up giving it to Clay anyway. Del Rio attacks Christian, Edge runs him off. Del Rio gives Edge the Cross Arm Breaker. Guess we know two winners on Sunday now. Del Rio shouldn’t win the title already anyway. Talk about too much, too soon. Oh my lord, the “bar” that Snooki & Trish are at is terrible.

Why is Cole pimping an iPad? Is he supposed to be slick and cool like the Miz because of it? Cole tells King he has to wrestle Swagger. Not much meat to sink my teeth into writing wise so far. They’re highlighting the matches so I can’t bitch. South Park’s “Montage” will never leave my had as they show video of HHH & Undertaker.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

A pair of old friends playing catch up. Quite amusing to know she missed the married years of yours truly.

I started this blog a lot later than normal. My friend Charmaine showed up in town for a conference. I hadn’t seen her since architecture school so it was bad ass to get to talk to her for a couple of drinks. I sucked down a couple of Burning Rivers from Great Lakes Brewing Company. I did get to hear the reception “Stone Cold” Steve Austin got because someone at the bar we were at had Raw turned on. When Jeremy texted me that Dolph (KSU! KSU! KSU!) was coming to Raw, I decided I needed to do this blog. Let’s roll.

I got to buzz through the Undertaker/HHH recap and UT sauntering down to the ring. UT selling his own demise. They’re trying to sell this match but after the last 2 matches with Michaels, can you really believe any of this?  As I finish typing that, UT brings up that exact point. I said in Audio 131 that UT/HHH will be a good match. I should have said (If I didn’t) that it’s not going to come close to either of these matches with Michaels. If it does, I’ll record the piercing of my nipples and post it on the site. No Holds Barred, I’ll take the bet still. Johnny Cash rocks. Cena with a final knock out. Austin on TV. Then Orton has the upper hand on Nexus but is over taken. Evidently Punk & Nexus are going to send Orton somewhere worse than the shelf. A GTS is worse than being on the shelf? Ahh, dragging him to the ring. Paging Mr. Cena.

Orton is still being beat down, now with 4 referees around. Otunga looking for his match against Orton. Orton already making a Superman recovery. Maybe not so much. The way he got up in the corner gave me more confidence in his recovery than it should have. Cole screams Orton with a slam when Otunga did it. This is the best WWE can do on play by play, huh? Orton hits the RKO for the out of nowhere victory.  Nexus finally smart enough not to allow the Punt before they come down. Ryan gets an RKO too. Orton keeps Punk at bay. Otunga gets the punt. Wow, I am amusing stuff way too early tonight. Cole rightly calls for a halt to Orton’s punting. He should be applauding it in his new persona. Matthews should be saying that stuff. Cole gets to hype his own segment right afterward. Right from sensible guy, to over the top heel within seconds. Fucking awful. And again, this is the best the WWE thinks it can do. I don’t think I make fun of the announcers that get KSU football games this much.

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