Shahid’s Blog: Cracked Glasses of Nostalgia – An Adult’s Walk Down ECW’s Memory Lane

ecw I remembered being depressed after moving from Philadelphia to Atlantic City during my high school years.  Separated from my family, friend and comfortable surroundings for a dump of a coastal city was a jarring experience.  WWF wasn’t helping either – Friar Ferguson and Beverly Bros/Money Inc main event matches would turn any smile upside down.  On a random Thursday evening, I stumbled upon a new wrestling promotion.  Gritty, small, loud and realistic, it instantly drew me in.  Regardless of the fact that I was watching a plodding match featuring Tully Blanchard, I was enchanted by the promos, violence and music of what was known as Eastern Championship Wrestling.  I can vividly recall talking to like minded individuals about how ECW was actually real, instead of that scripted crap of the WWF.  Seeing Sandman, a fat drunkard with a cigarette with Woman or Missy Hyatt on his arm just seemed authentic on some visceral level.  Hearing adult promos from Cactus Jack, Steve Austin and Shane Douglas made WCW and WWF seem quaint and childish.  State of the art matches from Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho,  Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit…..violent brawls from the Public Enemy, the Pitbulls, Terry Funk….Sabu vs Taz…Raven terrorizing Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman…..sexy females with scant clothing and even less decorum.  ECW was a teenager’s dream.  Hearing the Gangstas come out to Natural Born Killers to engage in a blood bath made a Bret Hart match seem boring as can be.  I can remember waking up at 1 am to watch an ECW episode consisting of a pissed off Steve Austin just spitting venom at Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes and WCW.  In a pre screw job, pipe bomb, real name era, it was as if someone had a peephole behind the magic rasslin curtain.  By the time they invaded Monday Night Raw to promote their first PPV, I was a full-fledged ECW acolyte.

Now, I’m sure there are many individuals in my age group that share similar joyous memories of ECW.  Even with One Night Stand and a brief resurgence led by Paul Heyman, it still felt hollow and empty, missing that rebellious fire of the 90s.  So when the WWE Network arrived, ECW was the first area delved into, due to an adolescent fondness. Even though it lacked the music and didn’t have the weekly shows, I was excited to see how well it held up.  So I watched a few ppvs and weekly shows and then watched a few more.  I tried jumping around during various time periods, hoping to shake this nagging sensation.  After a week of watching, I had to admit to myself that ECW, like many teenage passions, didn’t age well.

I won’t use revisionist history and proclaim ECW an overrated vanity project and minor league system.  It was enjoyable and revolutionary, and I will always cherish those teenage memories.  But watching it now is borderline painful.  Seeing the Sandman no longer brings feelings of awe and admiration. Now, I witness a slovenly bum who was a perfect example of smoke and mirrors.  Instead of rooting for the underdog story of Mikey Whipreck, I scoffed at the notion that he could ever beat Steve Austin in a match (side note – him pinning Austin killed any notion that ECW wasn’t predetermined).  I can understand the reasoning and logic behind pushing individuals like Tommy Dreamer and Justin Credible, instead of superior talent such as Chris Benoit and Rob Van Dam.  But as a fan today, I have little tolerance of watching Eddie Guerrero in the midcard, for fear of being snatched away by WCW and WWF.  For all of the wonderful long term angles pulled off by ECW, there were too many instances of inconsistent referees, match stipulations, and haphazard PPV’s.  If WWE tried to pull the ol “Let’s announce two matches, and we’ll work out the rest of the details later” style of booking, they would get crucified. I almost forget, they did try that…it was called December to Dismember, and it was universally panned.

The biggest issue with ECW is the same factor which added to its popularity – the extreme violence.  Seeing someone kick out from a power bomb through a flaming table with thumbtacks, only to get rolled up due to seeing the 34DD’s of Francine seems asinine today.  The constant one-upping of finishing moves led to many negative habits, not only by ECW, but by WCW and WWF. WCW was rightfully mocked for taking the piss out of ECW concepts, featuring hardcore matches with cotton candy used as a weapon.  But as an adult, I prefer that approach more so than WWF, which raised the bar to an extremely dangerous level i.e. Hell in a Cell with Undertaker-Mankind, and the myriad TLC matches.  Classic events, but considering the mark left on many of the individuals, something that is watched with trepidation.  But nothing makes me cringe more than the chair shots to the head.  When I first saw Tommy Dreamer plaster Raven square in his hipster face, I remember screaming like a girl at a Bobby Brown concert.  But after current knowledge of concussions and long term damage, I can’t help but cringe. I won’t even touch upon the menace known as New Jack (that’s a column for another day.)

As far as the adult content, what seemed risqué as a teenager comes off as misogynistic and trashy today.  Shane Douglas cussing every 3rd word makes him come off as an uncouth doofus. For every great promo from Raven or Cactus jack, there was some nonsense from the Pitbulls, or some foul mouthed diatribe from Rhino. And it wasn’t restricted to the wrestlers – hearing an arena full of angry men chanting crack whore or she has herpes doesn’t seem cool anymore.  I’m definitely not a prude, and I specifically remember the eye candy of ECW very fondly.  Between Beulah, Missy Hyatt, Woman, Francine and Dawn Marie, ECW definitely upped the sex appeal factor from the almost quaint days of Missy Hyatt and Sunny.  Today – well, seeing a skinny broad with some silicone enhancements taking a pile driver just seems unclean.  Any doubts to ECW being a mainstream entertainment vehicle vanished with my wife’s utter look of disgust after hearing a Dudley Boys promo.  My “it was a different era, baby”  didn’t hold much weight.

Regardless of my experience, I’m very grateful for the opportunity to traverse down memory lane with a more mature point of view.  ECW will always have a fond place in my heart, and I am grateful and cognizant of its effect on professional wrestling.  However, next time someone complains about Vince’s asinine booking and longs for the halcyon days of Paul Heyman, gently remind them that Steve Corino and Justin Credible were ECW World Champions, but Rob Van Dam and Stunning Steve Austin weren’t. And then tape their expressions for YouTube. -Shahid

Stunt Granny Audio #236

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Yes you are seeing it right, Stunt Granny is providing you with another podcast/audio this week. What is the special occasion? Well, one of our members went to see Mick Foley perform at the Charlotte Comedy Zone. Yep, Jeremy continues his new adventures in the big city as he took in a night of stories, laughs and introspection. Mick provided the laughs and stories and the crowd caused Jeremy to take a hard look at himself. What conclusion did he come to? How did his life change from this night? He also shares his views on Mick’s material and, spoiler, they are mostly positive. What caused the most groans? How did Jeremy’s show compare to a show earlier in the year that Kevin attended? What did Jeremy immediately notice about Mick? What question would Jeremy have asked Mick if all of the wrestling geniuses in the room hadn’t jumped on the opportunity? So give it a listen.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

enthusiasmI remember seeing a question posed something like “Would you be okay with Daniel Bryan getting screwed if that means he has a match at Wrestlemania with Shawn Michaels?” Well, we’ve come to that moment when good old HBK gave Bryan Sweet Chin Music at Hell In A Cell last night. I knew it was coming with Bryan going over Orton on both Raw & Smackdown as I said in our preview for HIAC. So I wasn’t surprised when I read the result but I was still disappointed. I wanted to see Bryan get that big win that seems to be lacking for everyone recently except CM Punk. I think it’d be awesome if HBK & Bryan had a match at Wrestlemania. But the reason I suspect my gut was disappointed at Bryan’s loss is the fact that every time I say “I’ll put my faith in the WWE” because I can see a great build up, it never materializes. Time to tune into Raw and find out how things shake out. Let’s roll.

I am glad the CM Punk vs Paul Heyman feud is over. It seemed to have run it’s course for the time being. Of course we get a rematch of Punk & Ryback. Glad I didn’t order last night. John Cena is the first one out the chute though. Of course. The question now is whether he becomes more of a main stay on Smackdown. He calls out JBL for some reason. Cena is doing a terrible impression. (Next Day Edit: Of JBL if you didn’t watch.) Well, he said he’s back in Raw. Now Smackdown too. Question answered. He’s still pretty dumb for coming back this soon. Cena drags Randy Orton into the conversation. Damien Sandow comes down with the briefcase. Sandow goes all doctor on Cena. Sandow ends up attacking Cena’s arm with the briefcase. The old ring post gimmick does the trick every time. So does tossing him into the stairs. Sandow calls for the referee. We get a commercial first.

That ensures that Cena wins, right? Sandow works over the arm. Belly to Belly Suplex gets Cena a break. But not much of one. Cena buys himself time again with a back drop. Holy cow, another commercial. Cena is going to win. Sandow is taking over again. Does this make him look better though? He’s beating up a guy who is inured so much so that a doctor is at ring side. Cena is just an idiot for breaking the count. No Mitchell Cool, it isn’t brave. Cena kicks out of the Termanoose. I haven’t spelled that before. Sandow kicks out after a neck breaker. Sandow with a cross face. Cena counters. Ugh. You’re Welcome? That’s the name of the move? I know it’s his catch phrase but it sounds nonlethal as a move. Attitude Adjustment. Mitchell Cool has an orgasm. I’m disgusted. Dean Ambrose is being made to defend his belt against Big E Langston. Seth Rollins wants to rectify their mistake. Believe in the Shield.

The Shield is in the ring. Big E Langston. Wow, that is a serious gash he got himself. Roman Reigns pulls down the ropes. The Shield attacks. Will Punk return the favor? Nope, the Usos do. I can handle more Usos vs Reigns & Rollins. Brad Maddox is back in action. (Next Day Edit: I suppose it should be noted that Maddox turned the match into a six man tag match.) Big Show is know to have a restraining order against him. Jimmy Uso is getting the beat down. Reigns missed clothesline looked awful even if it was on purpose. Jey gets the hot tag. The splash was his undoing again. I enjoyed the ending with the double spear by Reigns finishing it. The athleticism between the teams is good stuff. They seem to have good chemistry too.

Twice the spear for the same price!

Twice the spear for the same price!

Shawn Michaels doesn’t owe anyone an explanation but we’re going to get one anyway. He requests Daniel Bryan‘s presence. After a nice explanation, Michaels asks Bryan to accept his apology. HBK taught him not to trust anyone last night. Bryan still won’t shake after Shawn’s 2nd line of reasoning. HBK recites his accolades and offers the hand shake a third time. He goes for it and puts on the Yes! Lock. Why are refs coming out now but they let Cena got his ass handed to him? I love JBL’s outrage but his line of reasoning makes no sense.

Renee Young talks to Daniel Bryan. The Wyatt Family attacks. Interesting turn of events. Sister Abigail’s Kiss into chain link fence. We’re supposed to believe that hurts. The case into the head sells better. I’ve lost interest in this whole entrance rather quickly. El Torito has gone black tonight. By the way, all Mitchell Cool or Jerry Lawler needs to say back to JBL is that HBK told Bryan not to trust anyone. So why should HBK trust Bryan? 3MB brought a net to the ring even though they have a 3 on 2 advantage. Ha, JBL notes the color change. My woman thinks she could commentate “this shit” since she called the bull color change. Now she’s trying to tell me she knew what I was thinking. Nope, I stole her idea. I’m an unobservant mook. Slater goes to catch EL Torito. He slides under the ring. Fire extinguisher in the eyes leads to another gore. Double Back Drop for the Los Matadores win. They catch Slater. El Torito nails Slater with some sort of cross body block type move.

AJ Lee is in the ring celebrating. Tamina is in tow. Oh, we get another tag team match. (Next Day Note: I was laughing last night as I tried to retroactively do the set up for the match because I had either FFed thru the entrances or just not been paying attention. Not my best work.) The Bellas are taking on the heels. She’s been forced into the match? Please shoot this down JBL. He doesn’t. Cool does shoot down JBL’s argument about Michaels & Bryan. Wrong segment chief. Jerry Lawler finally gets in my line about not trusting anyone. Tamina can’t seem to slam Nikki properly. She finally gives her a Samoan Drop. AJ is tagged in to tap out Nikki to the Black Widow. The break up of the Bellas is in full motion with Brie getting kicked out of the ring.

We get more Hell In a Cell recap. Kane is back on Raw. The Miz comes out as his opponent. Kane makes short work of the Miz. Mitchell Cool even says so. He calls out Stephanie McMahon. Kane tells her she’s ruined lives. He believes it is best for business. Kane tells her the monster is her’s to unleash. Kane gives her his mask and fake hair. Glad he could get rid of that. Another interesting turn of events.

The Prime Time Players are our salesmen this week. I’d prefer to see these guys in the ring. They’re not as good as the Usos or the Shield but I like them. David Otunga read the complaint from the Big Show on WWE.com. He sells the lawsuit as being legitimate and that it could cause the McMahon’s problems. Interesting again. (Next Day Note: Not interesting at all actually. You never get an actual lawsuit in wrestling. This route is just their out this time around. Note as always, sometimes I’m an idiot.) CM Punk comes out before his match with Ryback. He gets to gloat that Paul Heyman is history. Sounds like he’s ready for a shot at Randy Orton from that speech. He just needs to clear Ryback off his platter once and for all.

Sam Waterston

Can we get Sam Waterston to read all legal action going on in the WWE?

Ryback comes out after we find out that it’s a street fight. Punk went for a cross body for some reason. Ryback using power early. Headkick leads to the elbow through a table. Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice. Ryback taps. Wow, that was entirely too quick. Lawler points out it had all of the voted on gimmicks. Bray Wyatt shows up again. They do the slow roll up the run way. Harper & Rowan attack. How exactly would Punk leave? Through the crowd I suppose. They have the ramp blocked off. He blows out the lamp and they’re on their way already so that avenue is cut off. Punk head butts Wyatt. Sister Abigail again.

The Real Americans are taking on Goldust & Cody Rhodes. Goldust gets the revival of his career talk. Cody and Antonio Cesaro hook up. Goldust tags in with a bull dog. Cody & Swagger come in quickly. All for a commercial break. Swagger is in control of Cody. I want to gouge my eyes out reading the Tweets they put up on the screen. The Double Stomp continues to impress me. Cesaro with the super upper cut. Goldust saves the match. Cody knees Cesaro for an opening. Swagger & Goldust get tags. Vintage hot tag. Goldust with a spinning cross body. Swagger gets the Patriot Lock. After chaos with all four men, Swagger chop blocks Goldust. Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock again. He gets the tap out. These guys finally get a win to go with all of Zeb Colter’s promo time.

Alberto Del Rio doesn’t care about Damien Sandow. John Cena stole his title. He’s going to make his arm a target. He seems to have lost some gusto.

Fandango actually escorted Summer Rae out to the ring. The Great Khali & Hornswoggle bring out Natalya. I had no idea Summer Rae got the pin on Natalya. Summer is doing more show material than actual wrestling. She’s definitely flexible. Natalya sparked the match for about five seconds. A bunch of rest holds. The more the announcers call for the upset, the less I expect it. Summer Rae bitches at Khali for beating up Fandango. Sharpshooter for the win. What a pathetic win.

HHH presents Randy Orton to us. I can’t wait until Herb Dean turns on someone in a big championship match. (Next Day Note: For those of you that don’t watch the UFC, he’s one of their referees. He’ll never attack someone during a fight.) JBL is very proud of an AWOL Marine who shits in women’s bags. Good for you. Steph gets to be condescending. More respect is needed. Randy Orton isn’t as good as Steph in condescension. Big Show gets Steph, Randy Orton & HHH to run. Randy Orton attacks from behind. He still gets knocked out. HHH pretends to man up. Big Show is sporting a new shirt which is hilarious. He doesn’t work for us but we’re making him new t shirt designs! – Kevin

Dusty’s Blog: Where WWE Went Wrong With Hell in a Cell

I think I’m getting too old for this shit.

So I went ahead and watched the WWE pay-per-view on Sunday night.  Hell in a Cell.  I was talked into watching it with my best friend till the end Keesh, because he was going to watch it himself and needed someone to bag on it with him.  So I thought what the heck, what harm could it do to spend my Sunday evening watching some grappling, just like old times.  But oh man, I wish I hadn’t.

I don’t know if it’s just because I’m so burned out on wrestling right now, but it was a very frustrating three hours for me.  I found myself constantly yelling at my screen, critiquing what was happening and making suggestions for what should have been done differently.  When I first started watching wrestling, I never did any of that, even though I have always been a know-it-all brainiac who thinks my own ideas are better than everyone else’s.  Used to, I could turn my mind off for three hours and take what I was watching at face value as mindless entertainment.  WWE nowadays simply does not allow me to do that.

What follows is some of the myriad things I found myself thinking as I watched the show:

Randy Orton needs to go. The guy is just treading water at this point.  One of the biggest residual problems from the late 90s Monday Night Wars is that WWE got into the habit of making sure everyone who means anything to the company is locked up for the long term.  Only completely fuck ups like Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy are allowed to leave on their own volition, for the most part.  How this relates to Orton is, I find his act to be completely stale.  He is serving no greater purpose by winning meaningless opening matches on meaningless pay-per-views.

I thought the outcome to that match was a no brainer.  Alberto Del Rio had to win, because he’s the one with any upside potential at this point.  Give him a win over the “name” guy and try to get something started with him.  Orton is a complete non-starter to me.  He’s won the belt umpteen times, he’s feuded with all the top guys, beating them sometimes, losing some other times.  It’s just all been done with him.  And he’s not an interesting enough character on his own to refresh himself.  He, like Christian before him, would just generally benefit from going away for a while and then coming back.

Now granted, there really isn’t anywhere to go but TNA, but fuck it, that’ll have to be it then.  It’s too bad WWE would never really consider doing anything like this, but I really think they ought to consider working out some kind of trade with TNA here.  TNA would salivate at the opportunity to obtain another “big name” WWE performer.  WWE could try to approach this in a couple different ways.  One would be to try to get face value for Orton, which would mean someone like Bully Ray.  Bully Ray would excel in the current WWE environment.  He’s probably my favorite act in all of wrestling for 2012.  He deserves one last WWE shot.

Or they could take the opposite approach and poach a couple prospects.  Guys like Magnus and Rob Terry, who would seem to fit in with the standard WWE prototype.  Either way, WWE needs to shake things up here, and I can’t think of a single better person to use to make that point with than Orton.  He does no one any good in the opening match spot.  His win was an empty token gesture based on past performance.  His presence is actually hindering WWE’s progress at this point, as I think the logical move would have been to move forward with Del Rio, who at least has more upside potential.

Comedy that isn’t funny. I’m beating that dead horse all the way to the glue factory, I realize this, but it drives me up the wall every time. The skit with Daniel Bryan and Kane backstage was fairly funny until it wasn’t funny at all.  “On a farm… Old McDonald’s farm! Here, let me sing the Old McDonald song! How long can I string this out?!”  If the WWE writers had written the script to The Sandlot, the famous line from that movie would have been changed to, “You play ball like a girl! Because you play ball in a very feminine way!  And people who are feminine tell to play ball at a lower level than those who do not play in a feminine way! Therefore, I am insulting your masculinity as well as your ability to play the game of baseball!”

In other words, less is more.  If you feel the need to tell a joke, tell the joke.  Leave it sit.  It’s either funny or it’s not.  Know when enough is enough.  If you need to explain the joke or continue on the joke for too long, it wasn’t funny and the laugh wasn’t meant to be.  As a famous philosopher once said, it’s just tone deaf to do it the way they do it now.  I’m all for character building segments like that, but not when it comes attached to a joke that would make a record screech in a bad television sitcom.

Darren Young, Titus O’Neill and Justin Gabriel don’t belong on PPVs. Being on a pay-per-view isn’t a right; it’s a privilege.  You should have to earn your spot on the card, not be given it because there just aren’t any better ideas on what to do.  Basically this just speaks to the long time theme that WWE doesn’t care about their midcard and can’t be bothered to build it up enough to where people actually care about the competitors therein.  So what you get is jack-in-the-box title matches conjured up six days prior featuring someone who has no discernible character, and is just generally an indie guy who wears tights and does wrestling moves.

Every match on a pay-per-view should be meaningful in some way.  If it’s a non-title match, it should be between two guys who stand to gain something from a win.  Maybe a win gets them one step closer to a title shot.  Maybe they have animosity towards each other for some reason, and a win over the other would be exacting an amount of satisfying revenge.  But if the match is a title match, it simply cannot have six days build.  That’s not adequate booking in any way.  It’s simply not acceptable.  Title shots should be earned over the course of extended programs.  Not just, “Hey, we have nothing for this guy to do and the PPV is coming up.”  Justin Gabriel is a decent wrestler, but I have no reason to care about him.  I never had any doubt in my mind that he was going to lose that match.  That is simply not acceptable.  With title matches should come intrigue.

On the other side of the coin, I appreciated the idea behind the Young/O’Neill tag team match.  For one thing, you’re building up the tag team division, and for another, as I outlined earlier, perhaps a win there gets them a title shot.  It’s just that, like Gabriel, I really don’t see why I need to care about these two.  They’re being thrust into a position they’re not ready for, simply because everything in WWE happens too fast these days.  Gone are the days of the Rockers slowly, methodically working their way through the tag team ranks for a couple years before even being considered legitimate threats to win the tag team titles.  Now it’s just, win this match and you’ll probably be the number one contenders.  There’s no build and there’s no character building.  I have no idea why I should care about their plight.

Michael Cole seemed like he was in a coma the entire show. Granted, he’s never been any good, and this is yet another dead horse of mine.  But come on here.  Show a little bit of enthusiasm.  Do your job in a professional manner.  If you can’t handle it, you need to be replaced.  I need someone to explain to me with a straight face why Jim Ross and JBL couldn’t have called that show on their own.  I hate three man booths anyway, but especially when one of them is completely dead, and that’s the one that gets the bulk of the talking time.  There were several minutes at a time where Ross was completely silent.  In no way should that be acceptable.

It is often a telltale sign that the person isn’t listening to you when they simply repeat the last thing you said before you stopped talking.  JBL called Cole out on doing that a number of times at the pay-per-view.  If the announcer can’t be bothered to pay attention to what is going on, why should the viewer?  It is well past time to give the lead announcer role to Josh Mathews.  He is young, he is good looking, he is good at what he does, and he is dedicated to always getting better and learning more.  Pairing him up with Jim Ross would probably eventually turn him into a candidate for best announcer of all time.  Instead, we are stuck with the out-to-lunch, weiner looking Cole.

Ryback should have won the title. You want real change?  Then do something that’s really different.  It’s that simple.  By going back to the old Hulk Hogan formula, you will have enacted the exact kind of change needed to fit with these more kiddie friendly, PG times.  Ryback seems like he’s getting over enough that you can justify putting the belt on him.  And then, as the slogan goes, feed him continual opponents.  Move CM Punk down the card a step, where he can help ensure that the undercards are going to be high quality enough to counter the assuredly mediocre main event matches that will be over because the champion is over, not because of the ring work.  Find the balance there and go with it.

Utilize Ryback in the Hogan/Goldberg combo role that he was destined for.  In the meantime, you will have shown your fanbase in one fell swoop that things are different now.  This is a different kind of champion than Punk or Daniel Bryan or Cena, or really anybody in the recent past.  The other important part of this equation is that he needs to hold the belt a long time.  Like until at least WrestleMania long.  I would even hold out until the *next* WrestleMania, but you absolutely cannot trust WWE to have anywhere near that kind of discipline and long term thought.

And when he does lose, it needs to be in a significant, impactful way.  Having him at this point, in the way in which he lost, now ensures that he will never have the kind of momentum again that he had going into the show.  This is a classic old school WCW move that cuts the balls off someone who was on the verge of making something happen, all to appease the status quo.  It ensures that nothing will ever really change, and that no upswing will happen for the foreseeable future.  But hey, we sure were swerved!

Dirty finishes. Again, in the interest of being repetitiously redundant, this has been a pet peeve of mine for a long time.  WWE has it exactly backwards in how they book their matches.  They put the dirty finish matches on the pay-per-views, and the clean, feud ending finishes on free television.  I don’t know how much money pay-per-views are now (I, uh, forgot how much I paid for this, yeah), but it’s a lot of freaking money.  And people should expect to get quality bang for their hard earned buck.  Instead, we got a disqualification solely on the basis of Kane kicking everyone’s ass, and a heel ref sequence that made Nick Patrick roll over in his grave.  Enough of this crap.

Put that kind of stuff on Raw if you insist on doing it at all.  I dare WWE to put on a pay-per-view that consists solely of matches ending in clean, decisive finishes.  They simply do not have the discipline to do that.  They think that’s not entertaining enough.  They think all the bells and whistles are what people tune in for, not realizing that if they did enough of everything else right, the clean finishes would be exactly what the people want and expect out of shows like this.  They continue to insist on going from point A to point B by going through points C through Z first.

Or maybe I’m just too old for wrestling now.

In any event, you can read more about Keesh at thefullpint.com.  You can read more about me at shamelessplug.org.

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #HellInACell

I bought this pay per view at the last minute. I’m pretty interested in whether Ryback wins or not. I’m still leaning towards CM Punk keeping the belt.

Randy Orton (with a new hairdo so I guess he’s done filming) against Alberto Del Rio. I miss the first couple of minutes trying to do the introduction. I had to take the dogs on a short spin. This weather blows. It ranks up there for worst weather ever for a Columbus Crew game. It was top five ever. Del Rio is even terrible at mocking. This portion of the match has been solid so far. I need to pee really bad. I’m hoping for a break in the action.What the fuck did Del Rio just attempt off the top rope? Why does this guy keep getting chances? Why? Of course he locks in a cross arm breaker right after royally fucking up. Orton turns it into a school boy pin. RKO for the win. Enjoy your time in Kofi Kingston limbo, Alberto!

Paul Heyman tries to work Vickie Guerrero but it doesn’t seem to work. Daniel Bryan & Kane comes out first. Damien Sandow gets the mic when he comes out with Cody Rhodes. We are the tag team champions. They’re getting decent enough heat. Solid match so far with Daniel Bryan taking the beating after some sustained offense. My girl tells me that I missed Sandow flipping off Kane. Trying to make dinner in this process of watching HIAC. Bryan tags back in after Kane cleaned house. They start arguing. Kane disposes of Sandow. Bryan tosses Rhodes onto Kane. Bryan accidentally hits Kane in stead of Rhodes. Cross Rhodes but Kane makes the save. Kane starts going crazy. DQ cheap-o loss. I can dig this sort of. Rhodes & Sandow deserve more time in the spot light. So do Bryan & Kane. They have another month before the act is completely stale.

The Miz gets a promo before his match against Kofi Kingston. I’m uninterested in this match. It’s going on but I’m not caring. Miz kicks out of an SOS which is the first big move of the match. I do like the calf breaker Miz executed.  Nice of JR to allude to the Marcus Lattimore injury from this past Saturday. One of the ugliest injuries I’ve ever seen. The Miz takes off kofi’ protective padding. Oh No! Single leg Boston Crab which I still don’t understand. You have more control over their body if you have both legs. Small package for Kofi. Cocky pin after the DDT on Kofi only gets a two count. Kingston chucks Miz outside the ring. He catches Miz with Trouble in Paradise for the win.

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Stunt Granny Audio #202

This episode of the Stunt Granny Audio is brought to you by Des Moines, Iowa by way of Eric Nelson’s wedding. Jeremy & Kevin tell the tales of their Thursday and Friday night in Des Moines. They actually got in some exercise at Gray’s Lake but spent much more time doing twelve to sixteen ounce curls. The biggest portion of Friday were spent at Fong’s Pizza where they dined on some Chinese inspired pizzas and more fruity drinks than either of hosts can really handle. They visited Pappajohn Sculpture Park where Eric proposed to his lovely wife. After that sobering up period, your intrepid hosts continue their drinking at Hessen Haus‘s Oktoberfest party. Eric ended up meeting them at El Bait Shop for a beer. What was Kevin’s Sippy Time Beer choice out of 105 taps? What happened after that is mostly conjecture. Jeremy & Kevin end up talking some wrestling after starting in the new format. Kevin has to explain Aces & Eights is Now Queens & Twos on his Facebook post. They then try to get to the bottom of what is wrong with the group. Do they know who is involved in the match up for them at Bound For Glory? Jeremy moves the show along to the WWE. Who are the new faces that got air time this week? Are they as dysfunctional as Aces & Eights? Who are the mostly new faces that got buried this week? Jeremy & Kevin wrap it up with the most predictable angle on Raw. Did the quality of the segment make up for it’s predictability? Find out that and more when you click on the link.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #202

Mick Foley butthurt about not getting his way again

I pray to god he has one last bump in him, if you smell what I'm cooking.

And I quoteth:

Mick Foley wrote on Twitter that he asked WWE officials if he and Jim Ross could call the Hell in a Cell match at WrestleMania 28 between Triple H and The Undertaker. He wrote:

“Wish I’d been a small part of HIAC. I asked @WWE early on about me and JR doing commentary; I guess they liked half of the idea.”

Foley also says he feels he has one more big bump left in him and knows which WWE Superstar he wants to do that last bump with. He wrote:

“I believe I do have one more big bump left in me – delivered on my terms, with a @WWE Superstar who respects what I’ve done”

“My final bump came to me as a vision. I know exactly what I want to do, where I want to do it, and who I want to do it with.”

Fact: Vince McMahon could give two scoops of Kellogg’s Fuck All what Mick Foley wants. Breaking news, I know. – Dusty

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