Kevin’s Blog: #ImpactLive Destination X

Special-EditionSince it’s Destination X, I decided to bust out the lap top. I had intended to start this earlier but life got in the way. A trip to the lady’s house then some Hawaiian BBQ delayed it. Here it comes now. Let’s roll.

They start with a nice retrospective on Chris Sabin‘s career. What X Division won’t take this chance? I doubt that Sabin comes out of this show with the belt though. Too much riding on Bully Ray in my eyes. Then again, I would have said the same thing about D.O.C. until the news earlier this week. Since Bully Ray has mic skills, he gets to come to the ring. He cares so little for his opponent, he calls out Brooke Hogan. She’s sick of his games. Well then divorce him dummy. You can hire a lawyer easier than he can. Ray, you’ve got no power to stay married to her other than her incompetence. Hulk Hogan makes the same argument Brooke did. The Main Event Mafia shows up for no reason. Not exactly starting the show well. Bobby Roode says “Fluke”. The future starts tonight. Decent enough.

Roode is taking on his old partner, Austin Aries with a fresh facial hair look. Watching even the beginning of this match, it makes me think that Austin Aries could break the size barrier like CM Punk & Daniel Bryan have. Commercial. Roode has turned himself into a good wrestler. I still think his mic skills lag behind though so I’m less sure of his WWE chances. Aries has the mic down. Brainbuster for an Aries win. Oh no, is Roode getting a losing streak gimmick? I think the right guy won but I usually don’t like where these stories go. For now, I’ll enjoy his little freak out. Homicide talks to Hernandez. Chavo Guerrero gives him respect. Hernandez does the least talking. Smart move again. I feel like grading every segment for some reason.

Ken Anderson gets to address D.O.C. leaving. He hand over his cut. He then gives a pep talk. Woof. Homicide is taking on Sonjay Dutt and Petey Williams. They’ve been behind Dutt more recently so I’ll expect him to win. The Gringo Killer and Canadian Destroyer are two cool finishers. Sonjay saves Petey after the Killer. Moonsault Double Foot Stomp for Dutt. Wow, what a move.

Kenny King takes on Suicide and Chavo Guerrero. King has been a favorite since his move over from ROH. A baby face won the first match, I’m going with him for the win. Oh that’s right, it’s Manic now. I’ve never been quite sure why guys who stop in the ropes stay there for so long. Manic air balls on a cross pin but Chavo rolls thru anyway. Barely anyone cheers for Chavo. King showing off the athleticism. Manic wins with an inverted Code Breaker. I think that’s the right description. The Main Event Mafia is fired up. Glad they’re taking a break from the X Division matches. Back to back was a bit much.

Chris Sabin gets a talk from Hulk Hogan. He tells him it’s his time for greatness. Sabin thanks Hulk. A reason Sabin wouldn’t survive in the WWE. Do I really have to listen to this dreck that Sting will start? Um, Aces & Eights is there. If you’re looking for them, why haven’t you found them yet? They’ve had a couple of segments. Kurt Angle gets his chance to suck. Magnus is ready. That’s all you’ve got after I pimped you last week? If you’re going to take the fight to them, you don’t call them out. Ken Anderson invites them backstage. Samoa Joe with a cameo from Rampage Jackson is the closing suck. Aces & Eights ambushed them. What a bunch of dumb baby faces.

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Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 3/26/11

1. Abdullah the Butcher – I told a co-worker for the first time since I started here that I’m a pro wrestling fan. Of course he wanted to make sure I knew it was fake, but then he knowingly talked about wrestlers using pieces of razor blades to cut themselves during matches. I told him about Abdullah the Butcher and the scar tissue into which he can insert a quarter. I thought my co-worker was gonna puke. – Eric

2. The Miz – Let’s see how many times he ends up on the list this week. The Miz’s appearance on “Conan” was the stuff televisions were made for. Not too many people could verbally get the better of Conan O’Brien, but Miz unabashedly talked over the host, then gave him the nickname “Ginga Ninja” and the catchphrase, “Step into my dojo, mofo!” I really hope it sticks. – Eric

3. Bret Hart – The Hitman relieved himself of the old “HitmanBretShart” Twitter handle but kept up the juvenile, one-sided war of words with Hulk Hogan, particularly via Twitpic (or YFrog, or whatever, who cares), portraying Hogan as a withered-up old hanger-on, to the enjoyment of a few thousand smelly Internet nerds. Meanwhile, Hogan made a cameo on “American Idol,” still one of TV’s biggest rated shows. In other words, fuck you, Bret Hart. – Eric

4. TNA Impact – I swear I am trying to watch this show but damn they make it difficult. This is the exact train of events of trying to watch this week: I went to the DVR menu. I chose Impact. I fast forwarded thru the end of Gangland. I stopped when I saw Ken Anderson. I started getting annoyed at the opening. I fast forwarded until I saw a marker board in the ring. I got more annoyed. I shut it off after four minutes of viewing. I then got a text from Dusty. It wasn’t positive. How the hell were we watching at the same time when we are in different time zones anyway? – Jeremy

5. Michael Cole – Cole is the greatest heel in wrestling. He would make a great character in WWE comics. I mean he already has his own hideout in the Cole Mine as well as a loyal henchman. – Jeremy

6. Eddie Edwards – He won the Ring Of Honor title. He defeated Roderick Strong. Past champions in ROH include CM Punk, Samoa Joe and Homicide. We once met Homicide in Orlando, which is the home of Walt Disney World and Universal Studios.  We were trying to drunkenly speak with Cheerleader Melissa. She was a very nice person but her friend was annoyed. I bet if she knew who we were it would  have had a much more positive effect on her. By the way,  I used these names so I can tag them without a hint of guilt for hits for the site. – Jeremy

7. Kurt Angle – As Eric posted earlier today, Angle was arrested today in North Dakota when he couldn’t keep his car on the road. Police smelled alcohol on him and he was done for. Does TNA have the least professional locker room in wrestling history? There just seems to be no discipline or personal responsibility whatsoever there. – Dusty

8. Kurt Angle’s mugshot – It’s as if he’s simply taking a fan photo on a sunny afternoon.

9. Ian Rotten – Recently ethered into oblivion on some blog talk radio show by a 40 year old weirdo. I experienced this audio in the following way: The two idiots are yelling at each other. I am drowsy. I fall asleep. I wake up. The two idiots are still yelling at each other, now in harsher tone. Ian is basically every lowest common denominator wrestling fan ever, separated only by the fact that he actually got to run his own shows. So kudos for that. – Dusty

10. WWE’s partnership with Kmart – I guess WWE figures before all the Kmarts in the world are driven out of business by the existence of Walmart and the fact that they are crummy, dirty stores, they better form a partnership with them to promote their house shows. Soon enough, though, Ian Rotten will be hosting IWA MS shows on the parking lots of each and every one of these fine retail stores. – Dusty

11. TNA’s Spring Cleaning Sale – Don West is the fucking fucking man.

Dusty

ROH iPPV line-up awesome, I might care about them again

Obviously.

According to Prowrestling.net, Ring of Honor has announced the full line-up for its next iPPV, probably titled something related to being the best or liking death metal music, to air Saturday, Feb. 26. Wait, that month sounds familiar… oh, sorry, it’s ROH’S 9th Anniversary Show. Good for them! When I was 9 years old, I could barely keep my mullet under control, let alone book a card that might make former fans care about the product again. Here it is:

ROH World Title Match- No Holds Barred Barrio Street Fight
Roderick Strong with Truth Martini defends vs. Homicide

World Tag Team Title Match
The Kings of Wrestling (Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli) with Shane Hagadorn defend vs. The All Night Express

World TV Title Match- 2/3 Falls with a 30 Minute Time Limit
Christopher Daniels defends vs. Eddie Edwards

First Time Ever- Dream Tag Team Match
Jay and Mark Briscoe vs. Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas

Special Attraction
Colt Cabana vs. Davey Richards

Special Challenge Match
Michael Elgin with Truth Martini vs. El Generico

Women of Honor
Sara Del Rey vs. MsChif

Four Corner Survival
Steve Corino vs. Kyle O’ Reilly vs. Grizzly Redwood vs. “The Prodigy” Mike Bennett with Brutal Bob

Yep, ol’ Brutal Bob will be there. ROH’s tag team scene is being touted as the best in the business right now, and while that’s like being (all together now) the prettiest Denny’s waitress, these are some awesome tag matches. Strong vs. Homicide in a street fight for the title is the best main event they could deliver right now; Edwards following along with Daniels’ wall chart of wrestling moves for 30 minutes will be good; Colt vs. Davey could lead to something incredible; and if they could just replace Steve Corino with nothing whatsoever, I’d be 100 percent on board. Uh oh, did I just make his list? -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio #111

Oh hells yes, it’s time for another Stunt Granny Audio. Kevin and Jeremy bring the pain this time around with words, words and swagger. The guys discuss the recent releases of Serena and Homicide. They discover its funny how much they, well, you’ll have to listen. They also expound on the ways around Skip Sheffield’s broken ankle. There is also a healthy historical lesson as it pertains to Kane and his unmasking. They even manage time to politely discuss TNA Reaction. For once, there is a TNA discussion that doesn’t bring about extreme anger and disappointment. There is more but you’ll have to listen to see what that is all about.

Stunt Granny Audio #111

Homicide Freed

So as to hint at what I want to see.

Word going around the message board scene is that Homicide has been released from TNA. My super secret insider source tells me that he was suffering from a chronic condition known as being-too-good-for-TNAitis. Here’s hoping he can go back to ROH and allow his talents to shine through again. If WWE runs a third season of NXT, he and Tyler Black would be perfect cast members for such an endeavor. Just spitballing here. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Audio #77 – Welcome Back

Welcome back to one of our crew and who has a hairdo like these guys that we want to see back?

Kevin welcomes back Jeremy to the Audio rotation and we go back to school. Well, back to TNA’s special Monday iMPACT! to get some additional thoughts out of Jeremy and bring up some points that Kevin & Eric skipped last week. We milked more out of a subject that needed no more milking. It’s new information though so give it a listen and find out how non-pasteurized milk tastes.

Stunt Granny Audio #77

Stunt Granny Audio #67

duver

There is so much to be said about building trust.

Dusty and Kevin, the resident workhorses of Stunt Granny Enterprises, are back once again to talk about a veritable plethora of wrestling related items. Dusty is mad as hell and he ain’t going to take it anymore when it comes to TNA’s nonsense. Kevin is hard pressed to disagree with any of it. They talk about why Dixie Carter’s love it or leave it speech was the absolute worst thing that could have happened for TNA right now. They also talk about Jamie Noble’s retirement from wrestling, and how it ended not with a bang, but a whimper. They also talk about a whole bunch of other stuff, and it’s in your best interests to listen to the audio to find out what those things are, because all the cool kids are doing just that.

Stunt Granny Audio #67

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