3MB is now a One Man Band, Baby!

Heath Slater

I’m sure localbozo.com doesn’t care if I use his screen grab.

I suppose this is what you get when you cannot handle the Shield for the boss? WWE has released two more competitors (see, keeping with WWE protocol) as Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre received the bad news today.  So just like that the fourth strongest faction in WWE has been destroyed.

WWE sure seems bent on breaking up their factions outside of The Wyatt Family so far. Seth Rollins turned on The Shield. Evolution saw the departure of Dave Batista. Now, they couldn’t break them up so they had to fire two-thirds of the Three Man Band.

Out of the three members, (Hornswoggle doesn’t count as he is a mascot) Jinder Mahal was the blank slate. He never caught on. His only shining moment came on Total Divas when Eva Marie mispronounced his name. Maybe that should have been the first hint that you needed to do some extra work to be a household name for WWE fans?

Drew McIntyre is a weird case of being elevated much too soon and then falling off. He may have sabotaged his chances by fighting with his wife, Taryn Terrell, a few years back. Taryn was arrested after the “domestic incident” but the damage was done. His push ended and he disappeared. If you can’t keep your woman in line you aren’t going anywhere in WWE. You cannot place the WWE in a bad position or you suffer the consequences. Even divorcing  the woman will not matter. His career in WWE never recovered but he certainly made the best of his spot in 3MB. He stood out while Jinder faded away.  Let’s be frank here, no one is going to overshadow heath Slater.

So all the best to the both of these men.  Seriously, good luck out there. -Jeremy

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

art

coursebuffet.com

I think the only reason I mention I don’t have an introduction is because I enjoy writing them. I’m not sure anyone cares. So let’s just get to this review.

Evolution comes out first. HHH says this won’t end until the Shield no longer exists. Batista has the brains to ask for his title shot. HHH calls Batista a choker. Ha. HHH tries to sell his plan of beating the Shield. Batista understands the plan and quits. HHH tells Batista that he’s finished for reals. Yeah, like anyone can sell that in wrestling. Not much of an introduction segment either. Short and sweet.

Batista is done with the empty promises. I don’t blame him. Sheamus & RVD are set to take on Cesaro and Bad News Barrett. The latest gets an in set promo and assures us no Five Star Frog Splash tonight and a Bull Hammer Elbow for RVD. Paul Heyman joins us on commentary. Heyman reminds us of the cheapness of last night’s small package win. Cesaro and Sheamus square off while this goes on. RVD ends up pairing off with Barrett. Bad News takes over before the break. Heyman continues to harp on the style of win. Heyman turning heel tactics on it’s ear. Barrett & Cesaro take turns beating RVD down. Cesaro takes a cheap shot at Sheamus on the apron. It gives RVD an opening. Barrett gets to be the beaten. Cesaro dodges a Brogue Kick and ducks out of the ring. They leave ring side. Winds of Change by Barrett. Brogue Kick followed by a Five Star for the win. I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news, Barrett will not be the next Paul Heyman guy.

Damien Sandow comes out as “Lance Stephenson.” Sandow goes for the easy trolling jokes. He gives us a display of his “skills.” Big Show appears “from nowhere.” He’s looking slim. The fact that Sandow could deliver the “mad skills” line without cracking a smile is awesome. Lana can’t do that. Sandow gets WMDed.

Kane beating up Kofi Kingston was forgotten by yours truly as soon as it happened. Kingston is in the ring to take on Bo Dallas again. The Heat Bo-Lieved. The WWE never beats a joke into the ground. Surprising to hear that in back to back segments. Kofi kicks Bo out of the ring. Swinging neck breaker by Bo. Dallas hits a trifecta of knees. If the small part of the crowd is chanting “Bo-ring”, that’s kind of funny. A cross body by Kingston gets a two count. Dallas drops Kingston neck first over the top rope. Running Bo-dog for the win. This cracks me up. I’m not sure it’s translating though. Renee Young asks Stephanie McMahon about Batista. She tells us what’s in tune for the 9 PM segment.

From RxMuscle.com originally by way of TMZ.com

From RxMuscle.com originally by way of TMZ.com

Stephanie tries to sell the angle more. She tries to sell her great leadership skills. She does know how to get the crowd to chant “Yes!” She makes a match at Money In The Bank, Daniel Bryan against Kane in a stretcher match. If Bryan can’t fight, it will be determined in the MITB match. I’m jealous of Chicago for the awesome John Cena matches they have gotten. CM Punk from a few years ago and last night. Stephanie jumps on Cena’s point about a fighting champion. Cena fires back and talks up Bryan. Stephanie making valid points to counter Cena. He stays on point and pushes home her embarrassing track record with Daniel Bryan. Steph makes a match with Kane and Cena. She confirms that she is a bitch. Man, really good stuff from both sides.

Kane is beating up Cena when we come back from commercial. I would imagine that Bryan will be recovered by then. I would imagine the fights to get into the match will be good. Cena rallies like normal. Cena actually sells being tired from last night. Kane fights out of an AA. Kane knees Cena into the corner. Cena wins by DQ. Kane tosses Cena into the steps, which he is the champ of selling. He even got the lower part this time. Even better than his normal standard. Kane sets up for a Tombstone but Cena slips out. Cena pushes him into the post. Cena then tosses the top of the stairs at Kane. Renee Young talks to Randy Orton. Batista took his ball and went home. He has a match against Roman Reigns tonight.

Los Matadores have El Torito with them. 3MB comes out. Heath Slater brings out Hornswoggle with an afro. The little people will finally not be involved in this feud. Drew McIntyre is with Slater. Heath hit a leg lariat and celebrates. El Torito removes the wig. Why didn’t he finish shaving his head? Slater is distracted. One of the Matadores rolls up Slater for the win. El Torito dances with the afro.

Nikki Bella is put in a handicapped match against Aksana & Alicia Fox. JBL has to explain in a very wordy way that Mitchell Cool is right about Stephanie being vindictive but Cool doesn’t brag about it. I’m confused. Alicia Fox picks up the win. Fox picks up Nikki & tosses her out of the ring. Aksana puts the boots to Nikki more. Fox gives her a back breaker. Shouldn’t a Total Diva make a save? Maybe the Divas Champ Paige who was just feuding with Fox? Luke Harper tells us the Usos will pay for their actions. The flock will suffer for the Usos misdeeds. Follow the Buzzards.

Zeb Colter gets to complain about Adam Rose more. It looks the crowd may be getting a hold of this guy. Jack Swagger keeps getting his ass slapped. Reverse running elbow by Rose. Swagger gives Rose a boot to the face. Swgger wears down Rose. Rose fires back with punches. Swinging neck breaker to Swagger. Cannonball in the corner. Cravat DDT for the win. Byron Saxton gets to talk to the Usos. They’re going to handle their business tonight. I love their enthusiasm.

From deviantart.com which is becoming quite a destination for pictures.

From deviantart.com which is becoming quite a destination for pictures.

Luke Harper & Erick Rowan are in the ring with no Bray Wyatt at ring side. Rowan starts against Jimmy. Rowan gets the better of the injured Uso. Harper makes his first appearance. Jimmy gets in a leg lariat and tags in Jey. Rowan ends up taking over on Jey. He tries to slam Rowan but falls over. They tag in and out beating on Jey. Rowan lets him tag in Jimmy. He drop kicks Rowan thru the ropes. Harper gets punched outside. Break. Harper is in control after the break. Rowan is the screw up again when he runs into the ring post with his shoulder. Whisper in the Wind by Jimmy. Jey & Harper come in. Harper takes his eye off the prize by looking at the chair. Jey unloads on him but Harper doesn’t stay down. Jey takes Rowan on the outside. Harper hits a suicide dive. Jimmy connects with the over the top rope dive. Harper raises the knees on a Superfly Splash attempt. Harper goes for the clothesline but gets super kicked. Rowan secret tags but it doesn’t pay off. Rowan gives Jey a modified urinogi for the win. He gets the win after playing fool in the match. (Next Day Note: I’d laugh at my own writing if I didn’t know Rowan got assaulted when he came in but then quickly got the pin.)

Dolph Ziggler takes on Alberto Del Rio in a match that will determine someone’s chance of still having a career in the WWE. Ziggler drops the consecutive elbows. Del Rio goes to work on the arm. Del Rio goes for a cover after a belly to back suplex. Really. Ziggler tilt a whirls out of Del Rio’s grasp and drop kicks him. Ziggler gets shots in the kidneys. Famous Asser by Ziggler for two. Tilt a whirl back breaker only gets Del Rio two. Super face buster by Ziggler after ADR takes his time going up. After countering some moves, ADR slaps on the cross arm breaker for the win. Don’t answer the phone Dolph. (Kevin’s Edit: I didn’t think either of these guys have a chance at the briefcase anyway.)

Rybaxel is in the ring waiting for Goldust and his new partner chosen by Cody Rhodes. It’s Sin Cara. I wouldn’t mind Goldust teaming with younger guys to help them out. Curtis Axel starts the match with Goldust. Sin Cara & Ryback are in quickly. JBL’s hunch back joke dies with silence. Ryback knocks Goldust out of the ring. Axel powers Goldust into the barricade. They tag in and out to wear down Goldie. JBL is doing a good job of selling on Cody recovering his form though. Sin Cara gets to be the hot tag. Ryback saves the match. Sin Cara kicks Axel in the face. Sin Cara misses the Swanton. Was that a neck breaker into a face first DDT? Whatever it was, it won the match for Axel. (Next Day Note: I don’t know where this story line with the Rhodes brothers is going, which is normally a good thing. I just don’t really care about either of these two so the mystery is just there.)

Lana comes out and is getting the “USA” chants. Alexander Rusev is being recognized by the Russian Federation. “USA!” They give him a medal. Rusev speaks in Bulgarian. Long live the Super Athlete. Where’s Nikolai Volkoff when you need him?

Dean Ambrose starts yapping at 11:00. Why do I get the feeling this could go over the 10 minute mark? Seth Rollins points out that Evolution didn’t adapt. Why is it just dawning on me that this could be an angle? Roman Reigns talks about being brothers. He wants Randy Orton. HHH comes out with him bearing a sledge hammer. Rollins nails Reigns with the chair. (Next Day Note: I wasn’t surprised that this turn was still trending in the AM. Every time I saw anything about a turn, it was Reigns. The turn doesn’t make much sense though unless Rollins believes HHH won’t stop until The Shield is done.) He then takes out Ambrose. I didn’t see this coming. Curb Stomp onto a chair on Ambrose. Orton goes to work on Reigns. The new trio celebrates over the fallen and broken Shield. The WWE has surprised me more this year than any year in a long time. – Kevin

#Smackdown Recap & Total Nonsense Analysis

zionbuffalo.org

zionbuffalo.org

I just wanted to mention before starting the Smackdown review that Impact Wrestling was not that terrible, until the very end when MVP turned on Eric Young. You have just spent the last several months saying the management won’t take advantage of the situation and MVP does just that. Ugh. You ruined a good ladder between the Wolves & the Bromans and generally other decent work.

– Sheamus defended his US Title against Dean Ambrose. Mitchell Cool embarrassed himself with his opinion. Ambrose may have lost the title under shady circumstances but as soon as he gets a singles match, that complaint is out the window. Dean Ambrose has done himself quite a bit of good to gain in ring credibility the last couple of weeks. He’s cranked up the “loose canon” movements which isn’t my favorite but I like what I’ve seen in the ring. Sheamus got the win, which is only right if the Shield is going to be tied up with Evolution.

– Rob Van Dam & Big E Langston took on Bad News Barrett & Cesaro. Big E got to lose to Cesaro in a hurry. I would not have expected that short of a match. I was thinking it’d get a commercial break.

– Alexander Rusev took on Kofi Kingston. I’m not disappointed I skipped Lana’s promo. The whole Eastern European gimmick isn’t working, let’s double down on it with the promos. The Accolade is applied in short order.

– Bray Wyatt implies he’s going to try and make Cena dark again. So we’re back to this part of the angle, huh? I’m still enjoying these promos. I  just don’t think the thought process for this feud is there.

– Fandango was off two weeks and I didn’t know. All I thought to myself when his mixed tag match with Layla El against Santino & Emma was announced was “How many straight weeks has this been on TV?” Layla got a distraction roll up pin for the win. She ends up kissing Fandango on the stage. According to Mitchell Cool, Summer Rae is supposed to be upset. Who would she come back with to extract revenge? She’s a heel still, right?

– Roman Reigns got to play tired against Mark Henry. A gigantic Samoan Drop by Reigns led to a spear which got him the win. That match wasn’t much longer than the others tonight.

– Another Los Matadores & El Torito vs 3MB (Drew McIntyre & Heath Slater) & Hornswoggle allows me to mention the weeLC match announcer getting in trouble for having John Cena talking to the Wyatt’s in his Instagram picture. I looked at that picture several times and didn’t notice them. I’m the observant type because they weren’t exactly hidden. El Torito pinned Heath Slater.

– Batista took on Seth Rollins. I love Batista bringing back the apron as a weapon. I have enjoyed it’s ridiculousness for a while now. I liked the match. Rollins went for broke and ate the announcers table for a Batista count out win. Now if only Randy Orton had gotten one of the two wins tonight, it would have been a better night for Evolution. I’m not sure you could pull that off though as soon as you tossed Sheamus into the equation. The Shield couldn’t go 0-3 so Orton can’t take on Reigns.

– The main event of John Cena & The Usos vs The Wyatt Family started with 10 minutes left in the show. This show was the worst night of wrestling in a while for the WWE. I don’t think anything was overly offensive but they haven’t featured on long match. The show opener (I haven’t been timing them) felt like the longest and it still didn’t feel that long. Jimmy was going for an unnecessary dive on an already fallen pile when Luke Harper catches him with the Discus Clothesline. Cool looking move but really dumb on his part.

 

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of WWE Raw

From themusicwithinus.com

From themusicwithinus.com

If you have ever been to this site, you know I put everything on hold when the Pittsburgh Penguins are in the Stanley Cup Playoffs so you are not surprised I’m starting this column late. Hockey is my favorite sport. This year, things are made interesting by the fact that they’re playing the Columbus Bluejackets, to which I have half season tickets. I thought I would be going to all home games but it turns out I’m only going to half so that at least allows me to finish this column in somewhat timely fashion. It also means I’m attending Game 4 on Wednesday so this game tonight was extra important. I feel much better about going to that game with a 2-1 game lead than being down one. I love Columbus, but that’s on hold until this series is over. Let’s Go Pens!

Brie Bella gets her in ring time with her husband Daniel Bryan, except Stephanie McMahon interrupts the fun. We get condescending Steph so it’s a good one. We’re supposed to be worried about the evil Kane being back though which needs more convincing from me. Kane from “out of nowhere” aka just where Bryan & Brie walked to. Bryan gets tombstoned by Kane as Steph shouts “No!” Kane sets up Bryan on the lower half of the stairs. Another tombstone. Is Bryan injured? (Next Day Note: No he isn’t. Unfortunately his father died. Man, that’s tough. You accomplish your dream, get married way above your looks only to have that happen. Yuck. Condolences to the Danielson family.) A third tombstone on the announce table still doesn’t sell me on Kane being able to beat Bryan. They’re trying at least.

If Bad News Barrett wins this match against Sheamus, then Cesaro loses against RVD later. These two have had some fun brawls in the past so I expect a good match. The cross body block is getting popular for the big guys to show off the agility. It never quite looks right and Sheamus is no different. Sheamus gets kicked off the apron to go to break. Sheamus takes over in this stretch. He does look much smoother doing the top rope shoulder block. Barrett turns it around with the Winds of Change side slam. Barrett misses the Bull Hammer Elbow. Sheamus turns it into White Noise. The cross body block to the floor looks rough. So much can go wrong when you do that. Bull Hammer Elbow as Sheamus goes for the suicide dive. Nice win for Barrett. I like Barrett more as an IC opponent than Cesaro, who seems destined for larger prizes. (Next Day Note: Of course I’m assuming that they won’t go baby face vs Big E who is also babyface. I don’t see RVD holding the IC Title though at this time in his career. They could use him as a stepping stone if they go that route though.)

Bray Wyatt and the Family are on the stage. We’re a nation full of sheep, lead by wolves and owned by pigs. It’s a wonderful night for change. Everyone is abandoning John Cena and coming to his side. We get a sing along. He ends by warning us to fear him. I dig his work.

I was amused by the set up for the El Torito vs Hornswoggle on Smackdown. They wrestled a real match as far as the sequence of moves went. The crowd could have cared less. El Torito is an impressive athlete considering his limitations. Jinder Mahal breaks up a pin. Drew McIntyre comes in to take on El Torito. Los Matadores hold up McIntyre for El Torito to sit on him from the top rope. El Torito then pinned him. “Evolution has always been the measuring stick” from Jerry “The King” Lawler. Is he going heel? He was just running down El Torito. I’m so confused. (Next Day Note: Lawler went back into baby face mode for the rest of the show which makes me even more confused.)

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

water-drippingI was very happy that my new counter tops were installed today. Unfortunately the night has ended with the water main dripping and me not being able to find my plumber’s wrench. I wonder if Baby Momma Drama took them since he did so much house work. I had another intro but this one over rode it. Let’s roll. Really late.

The WWE allows me to go with the regular introduction because the video package reminds me of my indifference to this unification. I don’t hate that Randy Orton won. I don’t like that he won either. I don’t care that John Cena didn’t win. I wouldn’t give a care if he won either. A standing ovation, Mitchell Cool? Really? I don’t even hear a lot of boos. Orton has looked like a bitch but you know he’s a multi-time champion so it’s credible that he won the match up. HHH & Steph are posed rather seductively which is really odd. Isn’t it supposed to be more fun to be the heel? Because Randy Orton’s speech is hello boring. John Cena bags on him and his comatose speaking. He tries to goad him into a match with Daniel Bryan. Randy Orton steps over the line so Steph smacks him down. I don’t want a title shot for Daniel Bryan because he’ll win then lose later. Oh Steph, you’re so coy and funny saying we don’t understand the WWE Universe. HHH makes the match. So is this supposed to be the funny part where I laugh because Orton keeps putting his foot in his mouth to the Authority so they put him in his place, he apologizes then they rinse and repeat? This is the second round. How did I forget about the Wyatts? Interference city.

Goldust & Cody Rhodes are defending against Rey Mysterio & Big Show. Cody starts off with Rey. I grabbed water because I knew the match would go to commercial. Big Show tagged in to get said break. Big Show slam keeps going. The announcers make a hilarious joke about the presidential selfie. I’m dying from laughter here. The WWE is so hip and current because they’re making jokes about something recent. I would not be disappointed if some of these people tweeting comments that get on Raw were killed in a fiery accident. They’re the most mundane statements ever.  Is Randy Orton better than Daniel Bryan? We’ll find out tonight on #Raw! Knock yourself off. Goldust gets the hot tag against Big Show. Goldust gets choke slammed. Cody makes the save. Dust misses a twisting cross body. WMD. Rey drops the Dime from Big Show’s shoulders for the win.

Christmas Santa match. Oh goody. Bad News Barrett graces us with his presence. We can’t win the lottery. You definitely can’t when you don’t play. Randy Orton is mad at Steph & HHH. Kane is around this time. Steph turns around the argument and points out the obvious three on one match for Bryan. They keeps emphasizing the single championship but he’s still carrying around two belts. Care to explain?

Dolph Ziggler is taking on Fandango with Summer Rae. I must have glazed over the fact that Fandango beat Ziggler. (Wednesday Edit: Tuesday was that kind of day. On the TLC preshow.)  Jack Swagger should meet his fate at hands of one of the tweeters. The announcers are still enamored with the selfie. Ziggler barely beats Fandango with a roll up. I’m beyond annoyed. Shouldn’t Ziggler renew his confidence with an ass kicking? I think so. I’d say that about anyone who needs to get back on track.

Big E Langston & Mark Henry are taking on Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro. Langston starts against Swagger who tags out to Cesaro quickly. Henry takes over on Swagger. Langston gets back in. I love how the announcers are talking about Langston being a great champ. Yeah, he does that real effectively in a tag team. The baby faces are dominating who ever is in the ring. Right when I thought the WWE was positioning the Real Americans for a title run, they look terrible. Cesaro & Swagger double team Langston to change moment. The gut wrench suplex by Cesaro is impressive. Cool shot of Cesaro jumping on Langston’s back as he tries to make a tag.  Henry gets the hot tag. Paying homage to the Junkyard Dog! I love when Cool goes through puberty on air. Cesaro teases the Big Swing but Big E got the hidden tag and stopped it. (Wednesday Edit: What a terrible sentence it was before the correction.) Big Ending for the win. The Real Americans get knocked back down the ladder again.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

I watched this clip earlier today after Jim Leyland announced his retirement. It is barely proof that Leyland has aged as a manager since he has a little more color in his hair. It would have been nice for the Pittsburgh Pirates to get him for a second round but the Detroit Tigers decided to steal him along with just about the entire roster of the 1990 Pirates as coaches. As I watch the Penguins play the Colorado Avalanche, I’ve found out that the fans of Pittsburgh decided to steal something from the Detroit Red Wings fans. They’ve decided that their team has been so good for so long, that they can come to the arena dressed as seats even though the game is “sold out”. That’s not quite an even swap but it’s the best I got for now. Let’s roll.

Oh goody, we get HHH & Big Steph to start the show. Steph sets the table for the HIAC PPV. Steph wondering how the feed is there is the most believable part of HHH & Big Show shouting at each other. Steph cutting it though at the flip of a switch means it should have been killed earlier. Daniel Bryan shows up instead of Dean Ambrose. The later gets to show up after a commercial break. Not exactly a sizzling start. Ambrose has been downgraded to not getting an entrance. JBL isn’t making any sense, asking his fellow announcers why Big Show isn’t in jail is bad for two reasons: 1 – They barely ever argue with you. Why do you expect them to do it now? 2 – HHH & Stephanie should answer that question. What the hell is that pin combo called that Bryan just did? Holding an arm down with one leg and digging the elbow into his waist. Looked cool but seemed a little too convoluted to me. Dean Ambrose takes control before the break in TV land and my column.

Ambrose is still in control after it. Since JBL revisited the criminal line of thought for Big Show, I have a third point for him. You always say that you’re the best journalist in the WWE. How about you ask around as to why Big Show isn’t in jail? Mitchell Cool seems to be having fun with JBL. Too bad my ears aren’t. OH my lord, JBL just asked if he said something factually in accurate about Armstrong & Bryan working together for the quick count. Cool decided to answer after his own soliloquy. Ugh. Daniel Bryan wins with the Yes Lock. Fancy reversal into the move.

CM Punk comes out to run his mouth. That is as nondescript a promo as I’ve heard from him. It wasn’t bad. HHH and Big Steph are talking to Vickie about running Raw like she hasn’t done that before. Shawn Michaels brings up power suits and does his silly schtick. He brings up Vince McMahon who has got to be behind Big Show, right? I want to spill water on my lap top again after Hornswoggle, Santino Marella & the Great Khali show up dress in Elvis wigs. Gauging out my eyes would work too.

Santino is taking on Heath Slater. They do a kung fu comedy to start the match. It’s definitely time for a #SippyTimeBeer. “This is entertainment!” from Mitchell Cool who deserves to be put thru the paces by Ivory again for that line. Elvis Cobra gets a big hoot from the commentators and no one in the crowd. A Sneak Cobra attack later wins it for Santino. He sings to Lawler after the match. JBL fakes laughs more. I hope he’s paid well to laugh at that garbage.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

I'm_ScrewedSo when you consistently do something like this blog, of course you want some level of fame. We have a decent little pocket of fans but it’d be nice to have more. Example of why we’re not going to have more. Jeremy has been texting me about Raw for at least the last month. Every time he asks me if I’ve seen segment X (which is usually at the 9 PM spot). I’ve told him no, I haven’t started yet. So he hits me up about the second interview I recorded last week to make sure he was editing things correctly. We got that cleared up and he asks me “Oh my god please tell me you are up to date on raw.” My answer was “Do you know what the name of my column? Dog walk then starting.” If I can’t get a fellow contributor to know what and how I run my column, what chance do I have roping in more fans? I’m screwed. Oh well, time to do the column any way. Let’s roll.

CM Punk kicks off the show and gets a bigger pop than I remember in a while for him. Ha, glad he steered away from sounding like Mick Foley and said right here…on Raw. By the way, super awesome to be doing this from my rebuilt Mac. Water is half way across the room. Brad Maddox re-appears. Punk busts him for not having an entrance song. Maddox is trying to hold it together and get off his lines. Big E Langston seems to accept Punk’s challenge. Did he get injured? I didn’t miss him. Langston whacks him with the mic. The match starts next!

Big E has the upper hand. JBL starts blowing Big E. He’s got everything except mic skills. Still haven’t seen enough of him in the ring to go one way or the other. Round house kick gets a two count for Punk. Big elbow drop then Punk sets up the GTS. Punk wins with it. Nice of the announcers to mention the Big E/Ryback similarities. Good spot for Big E. He’ll get a chance down the line.

Oh goody, we get Fandango versus Kofi Kingston. I barely pay attention trying to set up other stuff on the refurbished lap top. Kofi with the Trouble in Paradise. I lost everything except the hard drive. Lots of little things to fix. The Wyatt Family visits Kofi. Bray Wyatt wants everyone to fall down one at a time. Kofi doesn’t get beat down.

Holy crap, my boy Dolph Ziggler is on the pre-PPV match. Thanks Jack Swagger. Randy Orton creeps out the Bella Twins. He wants Brie to get married sooner rather than later because of what he will do to Daniel Bryan. Renee Young interviews Paul Heyman. He won’t be bullied by Punk any more. He stresses the us with him & CM Punk holding the title. Heyman has a plan for tonight and dares Punk to try. I haven’t watched any of these Matador vignettes. It’s ridiculous.

Holy shit. The midget has some serious moves. 3MB in the form of Heath Slater & Jinder Mahal are fighting Epico & Primo. As amazing as the little person was, big down grade from Rosa Mendes. (Next Day Edit: Jeremy & I can’t decide if El Torrito is a midget or a child. He looked too proportional to be a little person, right? I’d still rather see Rosa.) I didn’t expect this match to last this long. This is what Jeremy alerted me too. So ridiculous. They went more over the top than Fandango. Wow. Double Samoan Drop for the win. At least it was a team work finisher which is lacking these days.

It's got to be from WWE.com, right not beautifallwallworld.blogspot.com, right?

It’s got to be from WWE.com, right not beautifulwallworld.blogspot.com, right?

HHH & Big Steph come down to the ring first. HHH calls out the Rhodes family. Old school music hits. Condescending Steph is her best version. Condescending HHH is not as good. They acknowledge Dusty’s job with the WWE, I think for the first time. They need to beat Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns at Battle Ground and they have jobs. They all lose their jobs if they lose. Dusty just wants to be in their corner. Steph implies he’ll be beat up. The Shield beats them down. Captain America Believes In The Shield. All but cementing the Rhodeses return.

R Truth is taking on Curtis Axel for some reason. It’s actually a good match. Axel gets to learn from a vet who has some credibility with the crowd. I liked the modified Stunner from Truth. This crowd has been quite lively tonight. Punk’s music distracts Axel. R Truth hits Pay Dirt for the win. Heyman starts laughing realizing he got caught.

They give us a Total Divas review on Brie Bella & Daniel Bryan. The lady and I watched the mid-season finale last night. Column will be up tomorrow some time. Alicia Fox is taking on Brie with Nikki. The crowd is even behind Brie. Face buster for the win. Were they setting up dissension between the twins earlier? (Next Day Edit: Brie said something about being excited for winning the title then Nikki said something about “us” winning the title. Skinny sister vs Fat sister, I can’t wait!)

Curtis Axel is clutching his Intercontinental Title. Paul Heyman calms him down. Ryback comes in. He’s ready to give Punk what he wants. Heyman has a new outlook on life. Paul’s going to propose to Ryback. It’s too put on for me to ask the obvious. Renee Young gets to ask Big Show about his Smackdown appearance. HHH got to toss him a punk card. Big Show busts out the Damocles Sword reference. Big Show says he’s going to knock HHH out. I’m sure you won’t.

In case you were wondering about Damocles Sword.

In case you were wondering about Damocles Sword.

R Truth is talking to Brad Maddox about the IC Title. Big Show comes in and Truth does the smart thing and bolts. Show picks up Brad by the face. That looked scary. Okay, I understand the breast cancer thing but it’s completely ridiculous when the heels do it. Alberto Del Rio offended me. He gets to beat Zack Ryder. Has he made it on TV for a month straight now? Ryder bites it on a sling shot splash. He’s looked stronger than any of his other matches. I never expected him to be champ but he’s a useable wrestler at a minimum. Double stomp by Del Rio on Ryder. Cross Arm Breaker for the win. That was a quick turn around.

I have never noticed Ryback‘s song is “Meat On The Table.” Hilarious title. Paul Heyman gets to complain about Punk being a bully. They decide to get creepy as Ryback pats his cheek. Heyman has felt liberated since he met Ryback. Heyman wants to make an honest man out of Ryback. Paul drops to a knee and grabs Ryback’s hand. The crowd chanting “No!” is a riot. He asks him if he’ll become a “Paul Heyman guy”. Everyone groans because no one expected a real proposal. Ryback Mountain line by Lawler. Nice work. CM Punk “hurts” himself jumping the barricade. Ryback & Heyman stay in the ring. Punk tries to get in the ring. Punk pulls a kendo stick from under the ring and attacks Heyman & Ryback. Axel gets a beating too. Even steven booking says he loses at the PPV.

Dolph Ziggler waits for his team mates, the Usos. They’re taking on The Shield. Hey, didn’t the Usos just win the #1 Contendership last week? Why did it take me this long to remember this? Shouldn’t they be pissed that the Rhodes Family is swiping their spot. Mitchell Cool gets to explain Dusty Rhodes’s job a little more. Why did the Shield hold on to Jimmy Uso? Dumb bells. Dive over the top rope second week running. If you keep showing the break footage from the app, I will continue to not download it. They only show it for matches which would be the only time I’d pay attention anyway. Reigns over shoots Jimmy. Super kick gets him space. Dolph gets the hot tag. He’s in against Ambrose again. Fame asser but Reigns breaks it up. Reigns with a spear on Ziggler for the win. The ref mentioned the tag before Ziggler got belted. Big Show is still in HHH’s office.

Big Show is still there. Police come. He’s been threatening a WWE employee. Big Steph talks the cops back. Steph also says that Big Show hasn’t been measuring up to his wife’s expectations either. Weird story line. Big Show angry at HHH poster. I hope Big Show knows how to patch drywall. Renee Young interviews RVD. We get more Youtube videos. I agree with the No. 1 pick. He got some killer distance on that. About what you expect RVD in the promo department. (Next Day Note: 3 appearances by the backstage interviewer is a lot, right? Seems like more than normal to me. I guess she’s more camera ready than Josh Matthews.)

I have no idea why this was under "Damocles Sword" search. Enjoy it anyway from bikernet.com

I have no idea why this was under “Damocles Sword” search. Enjoy it anyway from bikernet.com

Santino Marella & The Great Khali are taking on, oh no, it’s a singles match. Santino againts Antonio Cesaro of the Real Americans. They show the great swing. Santino goes for the Cobra. Cesaro does the swing again. He’s found his gimmick for TV time that used to be his gimmick in ROH. Santino Judo rolls him for the win. Zeb Colter’s disappointing face needs to be posted by now. (Next Day Note: I checked Google to no avail.)

Jerry Lawler invites Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton down to the ring. Orton gets to rehash his change in attitude. Bryan wants Orton to know that he’s never needed anyone’s motivation to become the best. He’s made himself the best. Orton ends up beating down Bryan. Brie Bella comes out for the save when Orton goes for the hanging DDT. Orton still drops him. Drama! Orton tears apart the announcers table. RKO as if the table somehow makes that worse. Brie yells at Orton. So Bryan wins the belt then? That makes no sense. – Kevin

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