WWE blows chance to let tag titles earn two thin dimes, Epico & Primo win belts at house show

According to Prowrestling.net, Epico & Primo beat Evan Bourne & Kofi Kingston at Sunday’s WWE house show in Oakland, Calif., to win the WWE Tag Team Titles. For those of you who have been following along, Epico & Primo have defeated the now-former tag team champions numerous times on television, including WWE Tribute to the Troops, a December 2011 edition of Superstars, and other times I’m failing to recall because WWE doesn’t create any sort of importance with this title. Which leads me to…

… my idea for the tag titles that’s now shot all to hell. It’s funny, because I was actually thinking about this on the toilet Sunday morning: To put a little emphasis on this simmering feud, segment 3 of Raw this week could have seen Air Boom being introduced for a match, and Epico & Primo attacking them on the ramp. Replay replay replay, by which time the Os have returned backstage to be interviewed by Josh Mathews about their motives: “We’ve pinned them three times and still haven’t gotten a title shot!” Boom, done. How hard was that? That’s not to say WWE can’t make chicken salad out of this chicken shit; as I postulated in a previous article, WWE had cameras at this house show, footage from which they could show tonight, which would also feature the shiny new lighted stage! I’m peeing my pants with excitement as I write! Oops, better hold it, Bourne could use it to pass his next piss test. -Eric

WWE debuts new house show stage set-up in Pittsburgh to packed crowd

wwe house show stage set-up

Thanks to CM Punk for posting this picture on Twitter. See, social media is good! Of course, it just looks like Diesel is about to come to the ring, but whatever.

According to Prowrestling.net, WWE has created a new, house-show-only set — stage, ramp and LED lights — that was erected (hehe) for the first time last night at a house show in Pittsburgh, Pa. The news leaked thanks to Vickie Guerrero on Twitter:

Flying to Pittsburgh!!! I can’t wait to see the new stage setup tonight. See all of you there

And then thanks to photos posted by Prowrestling.net readers, Guerrero saw “all” of them there:

wwe house show stage set-up

Jam-packed to the rafters!

It’s cool that WWE intends to make house shows more aesthetically pleasing, but if a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound? My hope is they bring TV cameras to a handful of house shows and then show footage of “the live event experience” on Raw to entice fans to nontelevised events. Otherwise, they might as well join TNA in the stall where they flush money down the commode. -Eric

Ted DiBiase talks WWE Smackdown, Randy Savage, his sons with Iowa newspaper

million dollar man

See, he *looks* unassuming...

In a story published in today’s Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier (hey, I was a copy editor at that paper for three years!), writer Amie Steffen (hey, I used to work with her!) interviewed “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase about the WWE Smackdown house show this Monday, May 30, at the McLeod Center in Cedar Falls, Iowa (hey, I used to live there!). (That still doesn’t give me the go-ahead to republish this copyrighted information, but what are they gonna sue me for? They only paid me $13 an hour, it’s not like I have money.) On the devious tactics he may employ when he comes to Cedar Falls:

I might be offering somebody money to do push-ups, I might give someone 500 bucks for dribbling a basketball. … That’s the thing about me. When I show up in town, you never know what’s gonna happen.

The last time I saw him in Waterloo was at the National Wrestling Hall of Fame Dan Gable Museum, where he blew past a mentally handicapped boy who was trying to say “hi.” But that’s neither here nor there. About his son, Ted DiBiase, Jr., getting into the “family business” of professional wrestling:

He’s been good. I mean, he came out of the starting blocks pretty fast.

That’s all he was quoted as saying, which is code for, “He’s not one-tenth as good as I was. I treat him like that retarded boy at the hall of fame.” And on the passing of Macho Man Randy Savage:

Randy was a very big part of my first and second year… I enjoyed him. He was a pro, a real pro. … He was 58. I mean, I’m 57.

Oh shit! Does that mean I have one year to draft a post titled, “Ted DiBiase, 58, trampled by angry mentally handicapped mob”? Wow, sorry, I guess that event really rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe because that handicapped boy was… me 😦  -Eric

Bob Holly moves to Iowa… oh no!! (*car tires squeal*)

bob holly

"I'm-mo be tha may-ir of Duh-byook!"

According to a TNA house show report, at Prowrestling.net (submitted by Stunt Granny friend MattheWWFanatic), Bob Holly, who was in attendance at the live event, now lives in the city where the show was held, Dubuque, Iowa.

Wait… I live in Iowa.

And Bob Holly lives in Iowa?

I’m dead.

Well, let’s think about this. It’s not like Bob Holly knows we’re saying any of this stuff about him; if he has the Internet, I’ll eat my hat. Christ, have you seen his wrestling school’s Web site? No one’s made a site at Tripod since the fucking dancing baby. Holly seems like the type of guy who’s been trying to find a place to plug his TV into his typewriter for the last 10 years. “I’m-mo git this gawd damn thang ta workin’ yet!” He probably thinks “going to Yahoo” means riding the mule to the next town over.

And anyway, Dubuque is three and a half hours away from Des Moines. If he finds anyone first, it’ll be Dusty, a mere 2.5 hours away in Fon du Lac! -Eric

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