Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Fat-Guy-In-A-Little-Beach

That was the champion of Ring of Honor after his Ladder War with El Generico who I thought signed with the WWE after this match (I got no idea why. He’s tall but that’s it.) and he hasn’t been on ROH TV for the rest of 2012 except in highlights at the top of the year. Kevin Steen could barely beat a bean pole who hasn’t wrestled all year. I almost forgot to mention Kevin Kelly comparing this rivalry to classic sports rivalries. When I’m not aware of a feud, it’s not that epic, Kevin. Quit ruining a great name. Then just for icing on the cake (Probably extra thick for Steen), he laid on a ladder like a beached whale. Stay classy, ROH. Let’s roll.

Vince McMahon is cramming so much crap into this show, he doesn’t even get a ring entrance. Good lord, he’s blowing himself. At least he has a good suit on this week. Hard to go wrong with black with white shirt. Howard Finkel could have been a better hype man. Big Show is making his pitch. Vince goes for the title fat joke. Nice. Damn, three man booth even if JBL is awesome. Big Show going kind of racist. Alberto Del Rio (along with a very windy Ricardo Rodriguez)  gets to join the circus. Del Rio is a dip shit and puts his title on the line. It’s Dora The Explorer for wrestling fans when they chant in Spanish.

For some reason, Randy Orton is fighting Wade Barrett again. These guys have done battle too much in the recent past. Commercial. Let’s see if I catch up tonight. Hard doing a fantasy hockey draft while doing the column too. Holy shit, I was not paying attention to this match because I figured Orton would win. Instead, Barrett wins clean. Color me shocked.

Booker T lays the Smackdown on Eve Torres before her match. Teddy Long is their for moral support. I guess she is gone after tonight. I don’t get the use of the Diva’s. They spend the last 6-12 months building her up into the biggest Diva of right now and they let her walk? Now we get our Kane & Daniel Bryan segment with Doctor Shelby. They give us a psychology lesson when Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes show up. Not their best segment. Kane takes on Sandow after the commercial break. Kane wins in another match that doesn’t matter.

Mick Foley is introduced as the first nominee in the WWE Hall of Fame. Good deal. The Shield comes down before Foley can go anywhere. Ryback, Randy Orton & Sheamus make the save. Okay. Ryback makes a good stance on the conspiracy and not being concerned about it. Feed Me Shield. That is way too shoe horned.

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Cast of WWE “Legends House” does Zumba, recreates seven-car pile-up

Click the link below to watch the slow trainwreck.

According to Prowrestling.net (watch the video at this link), the cast of WWE’s new program, “Legends House,” set to air on the WWE Network in April of Fucking Never, attended a Zumba class, because nothing says “retired legend of popular form of entertainment” like a bunch of old fat guys (Jim Duggan, Jimmy Hart, Roddy Piper, Hillbilly Jim, Pat Patterson, Gene Okerlund and Howard Finkel) in ICOPRO tank tops dancing to the latest exercise class fad. I get it, they’re all buffoons, whoopty doo. Between this and other rumored programs such as “WWE Countdown” (where the pimply masses pick the top news of the week) and “Law & Order: KGB” starring Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff and Doug E. Fresh, I cannot wait for the WWE Network to launch sometime around September of When I Put My Balls On a Band Saw. -Eric

Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Survivor Series Review, Jeremy & Eric, Nov. 21, 2011

the rock

I shit you not, this image came up when searching "chewing up scenery."

Jeremy: So what you think of Survivor Series?

Eric: I’m not gonna lie: it’s the first WWE PPV I’ve seen since we went to WrestleMania, and I liked it a lot. Thumbs higher than the middle. What about you?

Jeremy: Ehh, it was a decent show but for $55.00 I expect more. No new talent, nothing shocking or anything to make you talk about the show. I expected Nash or Triple H, Skip Sheffield, anything or anyone to make it a head slapper for not ordering and it wasn’t one of those shows.

Eric: I paid $5 to see it with a group of people I’d never met, and thankfully they were making references to Giant Gonzalez and random stuff like that, so they were cool.

Jeremy: I was all on my own. Well, I had Twitter.

Eric: Honestly, had Hunter or Nash come out, I would have slapped my head for being suckered into watching it. I’m so happy those two assholes stayed out of it.

Jeremy: Figured Nash would come out to cost Punk the title and Triple H would have stopped him. Suppose they are letting that angle actually play out for a while.

Eric: I thought there was plenty to talk about, just nothing earth-shattering. Dolph Ziggler coming into his own even more is worth talking about, yes?

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SG Poll: What old-school part of WWE Monday Night Raw do you want to remain?

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