Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

hanging-tents-for-rock-climbers-1I’m hoping to get some extra sleep tonight. I’m not feeling the best. Hopefully I’ll get the illness bug out of my system so I don’t have to worry about it at Wrestlemania. When checking for images related to sleeping, it caught my eye when I saw “Sleeping while rock climbing.” That’s where the image above comes from. That’d be fun to do once. I slept in a tree house for my honeymoon so this isn’t that far from the pail.

Hulk Hogan comes down and shills for the WWE Network. We get the first annual 30 Man Andre the Giant Battle for a trophy. Memphonites? John Cena saves us. He shills for Hogan and the match. Cena then joins it. The Wyatts are here. Maybe they’ll save the segment. I dig his promo. Calling himself a god is pretty ironic considering the pride talk. Cena comes back with the jokes about the same subject. Better than normal for his jokes. Cena challenges him to a match at Wrestlemania. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan step onto the apron. Commercial.

Cena is in a match with Rowan. Hogan is a Cena cheerleader. Rowan is using his size to his advantage. Cena wins with a roll up out of the blue. What a weak win. Harper & Rowan pretend like they’re going to go after Cena & Hogan but the Wyatts back away.

Stephanie & HHH come out to the stage. She is really doing well with the smug quality. They are being kind and not firing Daniel Bryan. They want an apology from him though. Short and sweet. The New Age Outlaws come out to do commentary. Very choppy start to the show.

Curtis Axel & Curtis Axel are in the ring. The Usos hit the ring. Then replays of last week. Road Dogg claims that the NAO were under the weather during their loss. U-SO! It’s kind of cool that they’re finisher is the flying tag and Samoan splash combo. Kane talks to the Shield. He wants to know if they’re disposable. Reigns & Rollins are going to take on Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Rollins gives Kane some guff about his losses. The chop continues.

Jack Swagger is taking on Big E Langston again. Zeb Colter & Cesaro are at ring side. Big E wants in on the Battle Royal at Wrestlemania. I’m glad that is over shadowing the match. Belly to Belly suplex gets my attention. Swagger takes out Big E’s knee. Swagger distracts the ref and asks for Cesaro‘s help which doesn’t help. Swagger had said at the start the match that “I’ve got this.” Big E rolls up Swagger for the win. Zeb Colter watches them bicker like school girls. Zeb blows his stack. Swagger & Cesaro shake but Cesaro puts in an extra squeeze.

The Undertaker allows me to catch up a little bit. Paul Heyman shows up before he can say anything. Heyman gives us a break down of winning streaks at Wrestlemania. He asks Taker not to wrestle Brock at Wrestlemania so that everyone can worship the streak and Taker longer. “The fear of the unknown is the greatest of all.” Sure Taker, sounds great in that voice. Rest In Peace. At some point tonight, I’ll have a long paragraph. (Next Day Note: It’s kind of funny how I can complain about the usual 15 minute segment then complain when they change it up. It would have helped if I would have cared about any of these segments. I like a lot of people in these segments but everything was too short.)

Seth Rollins starts against Cody Rhodes. Cody face plants Rollins. Goldust takes over. Downward Spiral by Rollins into the middle turn buckle. Roman Reigns gets his start in the match. Goldust showing off the twisting cross body block. Cody does him one better by doing a spring board cross body. Commercial. Lawler tried to put over a power Samoan Drop by Reigns. I’m not buying it. Samoan Leap drop kick. Reigns starts playing with Goldust. Power slam by Goldust doesn’t quite get the hot tag. Rollins is in to fight a hot tagged Cody. Moonsault gets a two count. Cody with a Muscle Buster.  He stole that from Samoa Joe! (Next Day Note: I can’t believe this isn’t a Twitter beef yet.) Goldust gets speared. Rollins reverses out of the Cross Rhodes. Rollins finishes him off with the buckle bomb & Curb Stomp combo. A good match breaks up the chop even with a commercial.

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Stunt Granny Audio Show #249

The Network from drafthouse.com

The Network from drafthouse.com

Jeremy & Kevin are back again and this time they’re only talking about wrestling. No random side stories to start this show. They start by talking about Hulk Hogan hosting Wrestlemania since that news broke on Friday. Why didn’t they wait to announce it on Monday? How much is Hogan really going to do? Will he get involved in a match like the Rock did? Jeremy & Kevin move on to talking about the WWE Network. How much did Kevin watch? How much free time does everyone have that they can complain about the content that isn’t one there yet? How many devices does Jeremy have that still can’t play the WWE Network? Is he bitching about it to the poor people answering the phones about the problems? Or is he just bitching about the people bitching about the missing content? Is it smart to hold content back? Did the WWE stress their servers intentionally for a tune up to Wrestlemania? Jeremy & Kevin finally got around to yapping about the a mix of Elimination Chamber, Raw and Wrestlemania talk. Was the pay per view worth purchasing? Did the Wyatt Family versus The Shield live up to the hype? Where did the Elimination Chamber rank in the pantheon of Chamber matches? What has Kevin found strange about the build up to Wrestlemania? Do the guys even get around to talking about Brock Lesnar and Undertaker? Find out when you click the link below!

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

streetharassmentThe column got shelved last week because life has a habit of throwing you for a loop. My lady’s grandma died almost two weeks ago now and they had the viewing Tuesday and funeral on Wednesday. We left for Pennsylvania after a half of day of work. My parents place was only a way station to an even further part of the middle of nowhere PA. During this trip, I heard two stories that stuck out to me. Their grandma was born in Germany and met her future husband while he was part of the occupying forces after World War II. When she left her job at the cigar rolling factory, she took the same route home with a friend all of the time. Their Grandfather leaned out the window every day to whistle at her as she walked by. Today, he’d probably be painted as the worst kind soldier the US could employ. The second story was that when she was about to die, she started speaking only in German. The only thing they could make out in her talks was “Und bier.” So they brought her a beer which she sucked down through a straw and then said “Und bier” again and finished off half of a second beer. That’s awesome. Let my last drink be a #SippyTimeBeer. Time to talk about wrestling. Let’s roll.

Hulk Hogan comes out. Big ovation but it’s starting to lose some punch. The announcers are standing and clapping. Ha. “It’s thunderous” says Mitchell Cool as the only thing I can see are people seated in the upper decks. Maybe the music was drowning some of it out? He shills for everything he is back for. I got the WWE Network but haven’t been able to check it out much. I have that silly day time job thing. It has just dawned on me that we’re watching a children’s show, hence all of the app explanations. I hope they get a mascot to start doing it. I’d be far more entertained.

Alberto Del Rio still has a job. He gets to take on Batista again. I love him pointing at the Boo-tista sign. Why should he give a fuck? the WWE will just make him a heel and their business will benefit from it. They are stuck in a weird spot until Wrestlemania though. Basically two heels going at it for the WWE Title. They cut at a time when Jerry Lawler was trying to make a point. Classy. Del Rio is in control after the break. Del Rio crashes on the through the ropes splash he does. Batista gets little come back opportunities but can’t sustain anything. Randy Orton comes out to cheers. Del Rio rolls up Batista for the win. Orton turns the boos into the story. The crowd starts with the “CM Punk” chants. Dave pulls the honesty card. And gives Randy Orton a trashing. I love them playing into the crowd.

Big E Langston comes out first as the Intercontinental Champion. Cesaro comes out with Jack Swagger & Zeb Colter. This outcome will be interesting.  Big E looking sharp with the release suplexes. A big boot turns the tide. Big E catches Langston. A trio of back breakers follows. Cesaro grabs a leaping Langston and gives him a back breaker. Nice. Upper cuts. Big E power slams Cesaro. Big E hits the post when Cesaro dodges. Running upper cut in the corner. Power slam by Cesaro only gets a two count. Gut wrench suplex by Cesaro. They trade blows. Sleeper by Cesaro. Big E clotheslines him. Belly to belly suplex by Langston. The splash only gets him a two count. Super upper cut gets a two count. Urinogi by Langston gets a two. Cesaro throws Langston through the ropes. Swagger whiffs on the cheap shot and gets nailed. Big swing. Swagger jumps into the ring and slaps on the Patriot Lock. Cesaro & Swagger argue. Langston attacks Swagger. The Real Americans double team him. Cesaro neutralizes Langston.

John Cena comes out and is not messing around. He wants Bray Wyatt. Green Bay, we’re here. Did I miss them using the city before? How baby face of him? Wyatt sits in the rocking chair. John Cena is a liar. The Wyatt surround him. Does the Shield help? Harper & Rowan are held back. Cena holds his left leg. The Wyatts pretend to leave but ambush him.

Brad Maddox gave us a match between Christian and Sheamus. I don’t have the network pulled up since I’m behind still. Sheamus tosses Christian outside. Christian punches Sheamus but it only fires him up. Christian gets clothes lined over the top ropes. Christian attempts to crotch Sheamus but gets pulled into the post. Sheamus drops some knees on him. Sheamus shoulder blocks Christian on the outside. Christian takes over. Christian stands on Sheamus. That hurts? He then body locks Sheamus which doesn’t appear to hurt either. Abdominal stretch for two straight nights. Sheamus back elbows out of it. Christian misses a frog splash. High running knee. Christian tosses Sheamus out. Knee lift by Sheamus for a reverse clubbing. Sling shot shoulder block only gets a two count. It looks like Christian tagged Sheamus in the balls. Irish Cloverleaf. Christian gets to the ropes. Christian reverses White Noise for two. Power slam by Sheamus. Christian dodges the Brogue Kick. Christian goes for something off the second ropes and gets Brogue Kicked for the loss. Renee Young talks to HHH & Stephanie McMahon. Daniel Bryan yells at HHH. He tells him he’s not an A+ player. Stephanie gives Kane tonight.

Tony Atlas and Rocky Johnson are honored this week. The Shield is quarreling. Dean Ambrose leaves. Roman Reigns wants Bray Wyatt one on one. Wyatt accepts. Josh Matthews gets to be the WWE’s Matt Lauer. Is that better than doing play by play?

Daniel Bryan takes on Kane who is still dressed in dress slacks and a wife beater. I’m not so fond of this build up even if they’re pulling it from the real files like Orton vs Batista. The arguments by the announcers are more important than anything happening in the ring. JBL argues poorly from time to time and this is one of those times. Kane starts working over the shoulder when they start paying attention. The only JBL point that makes sense is Bryan shouldn’t have attacked Kane last night. Bryan has a short come back until Kane goes after the shoulder again. The announcers are really annoying me this match. Head scissors by Bryan turns things around. The angle is feeling forced because of Punk’s departure. Suicide dive by Bryan moves the action outside. Flying Goat gets stopped. Kane choke slams him instead. Bryan works hard for the Yes Lock. Kane shoves him off. Running Knee for the win. The announcers still suck. Bryan calls out HHH. He’s hiding behind Big Steph’s skirt. He wants us to get what we want HHH vs Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania.

Alexander Rusev gets gets another in the shadows vignette with his lady friend. Fandango & Summer Rae are in the ring. Emma comes out with Santino Marella. It’s just a ladies match. They shove each other. Summer Rae goes for a cat roll. Emma shoulder blocks her. Summer spin kicks Emma and only gets two. Summer talks trash to Santino while kneeing Emma. Nice. Emma puts on the Emma Lock for the tap out win. Summer tumbles onto Santino.

Billy Gunn gets busted for the hand full of tights so they have a rematch with the Usos. They leave the ring when Road Dogg asks. They super kick him as he ends his ring intro. Billy forgets to catch one flying Uso. Big splash for a very quick victory. I guess it’s better if they win the titles at Wrestlemania but I’m not looking forward to the build up.

Roman Reigns stares at Bray Wyatt as he paces at ringside. They trade blows when Bray takes a break. They trade slightly harder moves. Wyatt takes over with a boot to the face. Reverse chin lock always hooks you. Wyatt knocks Reigns down. Reigns slams Wyatt’s head into the turn buckle. Reigns clothes lines Wyatt for a break. Back splash by Wyatt. Bray punches Reigns on the ground. Wyatt suplexes Reigns. Wyatt does the Running Bear Attack. I mean, that move should be named by now, right? Reigns dodges a Wyatt charge. Reigns kicks him off. Flying clothesline by Reigns. Roman nails the flying drop kick. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan show up. Seth Rollins takes them out. Reigns misses a spear. Rollins is getting beat down when Dean Ambrose makes the save. Superman punch. Ambrose goes after Wyatt which gets Reigns DQed. I agree with the Michael Cole/Lawler angle that Ambrose may have gotten him DQed but saved him. The Wyatts did show up first.

Brock Lesnar comes out with Paul Heyman to a table. HHH gave Brock Lesnar an open contract. Heyman sells missing out on the WWE Title. I mean, just listen to it. I can’t do it justice. Dong. Dong. Lights go out. The Undertaker shows up in some serious leather gear. The WWE keeps on coming up with ways to possibly break the streak. This is one could be the last. John Cena is the only other person on my list. After a stare down, Taker looks at the sign. Lesnar signs the deal. I love him pushing the pen against Taker’s chest. Taker stabs Lesnar’s hand then choke slams him through the table. Awesome response. I like the shaved head and baby mohawk. I’m glad I’m going. For that match alone. – Kevin

News You Can Use: @ImpactWrestling Makes My Head Explode

not-aliens-well-my-head-is-about-to-explode

From Troll.me

I’m not going to follow Jeremy’s lead and erase TNA’s Impact Wrestling off my DVR. I probably should but then again when they serve you these mind bending events, you’ve got to stay tuned in. Let’s start off with the seemingly innocuous news that Jay Bradley and Wes Brisco were let go. Neither were valuable talents so you just chalk it up to TNA’s recent purge off a large roster. Which is down to 36 wrestlers with an additional 6 announcers and “Rampage” Jackson and King Mo Lawal who combined are their version of Brock Lesnar? They’re not that kind of a draw but I’m sure that was TNA’s thinking. TNA had also shed AJ Styles, Hulk Hogan and numerous other lesser talents recently.

Dixie Carter HintTNA is finally doing what we’ve suggested for years until I read this post from Prowrestling.net, Dixie Carter left a hints for new talents coming to TNA. Incredibly, she got her initial tease to be retweeted 1000. They used to enough people on the roster to get to that number, but not on this slimmed down version. After that, she revealed a clue. What you see to the right is what she decided to go with, initials. I love my mother, but last year when she left a clue for our family vacation it literally spelled out what we were doing. Dixie Carter just did the same exact thing, except I don’t love her so she’s not getting a pass. Come to think of it neither did my mom. She could have easily left a picture of a pair of wolves which would have accomplished the same task, been just as obvious but it at least would have been a more visually appealing tease. If you really wanted to tease through social media, I would have taken to Instagram (Or Vine) for a short howl video.

The tease isn’t what made my head explode though. If you just got rid of AJ Styles, why are you bring in Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards? They’re three very similar wrestlers, short, well built and quality wrestlers. They also have the same exact same deficiency that will keep AJ Styles out of the WWE, no microphone skills. So what makes Dixie Carter think they’ll be the solution? If they come in as a tag team, TNA’s tag team division is in shambles. They’re not going to have a quality in ring program with the Bromans. The American Wolves vs The Usos, The Real Americans, the Wyatts, The Shield, Goldust & Cody Rhodes or hell even 3MB excites me more than a feud with the Bromans. If they come in as singles wrestlers, what do they do? The X Division is a joke. It’s Chris Sabin and Austin Aries when he wants a shot at the World Title. Not exactly a hot bed of activity.

So good luck to TNA and the American Wolves on their new found union. May it last as long as an deer after a successful hunt. Or more than likely, this union will stink just like when vultures come to do their clean up work. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #244

Winning.

Winning.

If you don’t think it’s time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio, then you are a complete imbecile because it is absolutely time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio! This time around, your co-pilots are Kevin and Dusty, and oh my my, is there a lot to talk about! The two discuss the impending induction of Ultimate Warrior into the WWE Hall of Fame. Will his speech be as bat shit crazy as his old promos were? Who the hell is going to induct him? Is Vince McMahon crossing old vendettas off his list before he kicks the bucket? The two also get off on a side tangent here about Vince dictating in his will that his corpse still be involved in angles.

They also discuss how Monday Night Raw is usually really good during WrestleMania season, but express their frustrations on the whole Daniel Bryan/Bray Wyatt storyline. They also talk about ridiculous contracts being given out in professional sports (congratulations, Clayton Kershaw), make fun of the new Chicago Cubs mascot, and a whole lot more wackiness than you can shake a stick at, and it’s only going to take about an hour of your life, so listen to it or else they’ll send Crowley after you!

Stunt Granny Audio #243

A-diamond-in-the-roughOh holy crap, Dusty and Kevin are back once again to lay down some serious opinionz for your listening pleasure. They start out by trying to recreate the magic of their off-air conversation about ROH and pro wrestling in general. Are Adam Cole and Jay Briscoe the only diamonds in the ROH rough? How would their skills translate in the major leagues? Was WWE justified in getting rid of Chris Hero? Does Dusty believe that having good talent on your roster is a good thing?

Then they turn their attention to the big “real sports” story of the day: Dan Lebatard giving his Baseball Hall of Fame to Deadspin.com. Kevin stays out of the way as Dusty rails against the holier than thou baseball writers that have been torching his hero the last couple days. Is the voting process flawed? How can real change be effected? How do we know who did and didn’t use steroids when Alex bleeping Sanchez tested positive for it? Dusty has a proposal for the Carolina Panthers to counter the 49ers’ use of Ric Flair before their victory over the Green Bay Packers last week. They also talk briefly about the NFL coaching carousel and it will only take about an hour of your life, so listen to it or else you might lose your vote!

The Art of Wrestling – #TNA @ImpactWrestling’s 12 Days of Christmas

memegeneokerlund.com

memegeneokerlund.com

So I decided to move over to TNA this week to look for Christmas deals after covering the WWE last week. Before even getting to any of the deals, I was immediately confused. I don’t have a bookmark for WWEShop.com or ShopTNA.com. I go to their site proper and link to their shopping sites. As I scroll over the ShopTNA tab, the first thing I notice is the fact that both Hulk Hogan, who has been off TV since October, and AJ Styles, who may not be signed to a new contract, both have their own subsections. I understand that TNA needs to sell the merchandise that they have in stock. Since both gentlemen aren’t under contract and have had spats with Dixie Carter on air, the least they could do is remove their names from the pull down men.

When I clicked on ShopTNA.com, I then clicked on Happy Holidays deal banner. The first day I went to the site, Rockstar Spud greeted me. When I refreshed the site today, James Storm greeted me. Rockstar Spud should not greet me because he’s been on TV for all of three or four episodes and he’s a heel. Just bad marketing on their part. If he was a likeable heel like Christopher Daniels or Kazarian. Take the WWE as an example, they have recently started hawking their wares on TV. If memory serves, R Truth, the Prime Time Players, Dolph Ziggler, the Funkadactyls and The Bellas have done the segment. What do they have in common? They’re all baby faces. The fact that Dixie Carter was in the marketing field prior to running TNA, one would think she’d recognize this problem. I’m glad they’re using Storm now since he fits the mold.

There is another problem with this page. TNA went with the Happy Holidays wording. But then their slogan is ” Celebrate 12 Days of Christmas with ShopTNA.com.” I celebrate Christmas but am perfectly fine with using Happy Holidays. What I don’t think you should do is mix the two up which is precisely what they did. This deal is a stinker too. TNA is giving away one free item per day from the 9th until the 20th. They have provided enough of a sample size at this point to know they’re not going to give away anything even as “expensive” as a shirt. Day 1 was an IMPACT Twisted Necklace. Day 2 got you a Dixie Carter Shop TNA exclusive Action Figure. They got daring on day 3 by offering not just a Jeff Hardy Souvenir Cup (which is being modeled by the no longer employed So Cal Val) and Coloring Book. Today’s gift is a random pair of sunglasses. Seriously. They aren’t even telling you which piece of garbage they’re going to send you. The only catch with this “deal” is that you need to order a physical gift so no MP3s or digital goods will get you this fabulous extra(s).

I’d love to nit pick actual presents but that is the only deal they have going for Christmas. Looks like I’ll have to go back to the bargain bin at WWEShop.com next week for your entertainment. – Kevin

Weekend Rewind: Hulk Hogan and AJ Lee

AJ-Lee-Skull-n-Bones-Photoshoot-

We’d all rather look at her than Hogan’s leathery mug, right? From WWE.com

Hulk Hogan by way of Jimmy Hart made a desperate attempt at getting on the Wrestlemania card. Hart said

He told me to say exactly this: Hulk Hogan will be at WrestleMania if he has to buy a ticket and sit at ringside

I’m going to guess that Hulk won’t be seated next to us in section 306. How much would that jump the value of your seats if he did announce his seat location? It might make floor level seats worth it. That wasn’t the most entertaining part of Hart’s diatribe.

I think he can step into the ring one more time. We have a school in Florida, and he stepped into the ring there and did some stuff, and he looked great. As his friend, I’d be the first one to say, ‘Listen Hulk, do us a favor, just go out to the ring to Real American, say OK Brother, rip the shirt, do the pose, sign a bunch of autographs and people will still be just as happy,’ … but he does have a couple of good matches left in him, he really does. I’ve got my fingers crossed we see something at WrestleMania.

If your seat value rose with Hulk sitting next to you, it would drop if Hogan wrestled. It’d be a train wreck. I don’t want to see him wrestle anyone. He’s past time of having a clash of the titans with John Cena or even the Undertaker. HHH could be a target too but I’m pretty sure even the Game knows the match quality wouldn’t be there.

That news wasn’t the last on the weekend involving Hulk Hogan. He was on a show on the Oprah Winfrey Network called “Where Are They Now?” I’m guessing that doesn’t make TNA feel all that great because if they were somewhere, Oprah wouldn’t have to find Hogan. He was on a show with Carrot Top and Chris Judd. Well, at least TNA has some good company.

Last but not least, A.J. Lee had a fainting spell on the European Tour during a match with Brie Bella due to dehydration. She is reported to be fine which is good news. I’m disappointed that Tamina didn’t give her enough coconut water. Tamina knows that “Rowdy” Roddy Piper helped keep her father Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka hydrated with a coconut to the head. AJ couldn’t have need that much hydration for those two minute long women’s matches so I’m sure a coconut would have done the trick. – Kevin

The Art of Wrestling: Halloween Costume Ideas

HalloweenWrestlerGirlsI tried to acquire my Halloween picture from my parents earlier this year that had my younger brother & I dressed as the Bushwhackers. I was unsuccessful after looking through a trunk full of pictures. It will be found and used eventually. For now, you get these lovely ladies above. I did see on Wellyourewrong’s Instagram a fantastic picture of a new group of ladies dressed as the Wyatt Family. Maybe it’ll be in a Google search next year. TNA & the WWE both had Halloween Specials going on. Of course ROH didn’t have this section because their whole promotion is a trick on wrestling fans the world over. Let’s figure out which outfits will get the least amount of treats for your children.

TNA has a formula for their sixteen costumes. With that still massive roster, one would think they’d be able to provide more choices. Aces & Eights have two choices along with Bully Ray having his own separate costume. That makes sense since they’re down to two members and Bully Ray in the group. Jeff Hardy is the only single wrestler with multiple costumes. He’s got 3. Considering that his fans are “The Creatures of the Night” it is fitting. That means that TNA really only has thirteen real costumes. Back to the TNA formula. It’s shirt and two accessories. Some of these don’t help you look anything like the wrestler illustrated.

Like the Mickie James costume which comes with your very own Somebody’s Gonna Pay CD. I’m not that willing to help out Mickie or TNA to unload their over abundance of terrible country music even at a 50% discount. How about including some Mickie James booty shorts? You’re trying to sell us, well, Tits N’ Ass and Halloween has become a slutty holiday for women. TNA could even crop the shirt like Mickie liked to do.

mickie-james TNA Ref

Maybe I don’t want female wrestling fans dressing like this.

Some of the costumes do help you look like the wrestler, like the pair of Aces & Eights costumes. Nothing quite says bad ass like either a beer cozy or that mask like device that Knux used to wear. If that doesn’t say tough guy to you yet, they add in a snazzy ball cap that is sure to impress the boys in your crew. If those aren’t you’re bottle of beer, you could choose to go with the leather wrist band, chain wallet and bandana. If you’re the leader of your crew though, I’m sure the Bully Ray package will make you the top dawg. You know you’ll show your boys real biker style when you get the Bully Ray trucker hat. Your other boys bandana is too frilly to. Show that girl that simple is the style with this bandana with only the Aces & Eights logo. Lest anyone question your credibility, just point down to your shirt and tell them you’re from Hell’s Kitchen, bitch.

My favorite package though has to be from ODB. It’s because I’m sure I could find uses for the ODB flask. The wife beater with the hand prints is something I could be stupid enough to wear during Halloween. I would get use out of the flask that night for sure. After Halloween is over, that beater can just be worn under your gym shirt and no one will be the wiser. The best part of it is that this combo is only $18.99.

If TNA isn’t quite your speed, WWEshop.com has Halloween gear for you too. They also have some useful and not so useful packages. They also have less choices than TNA which is flat weird. They are all for the AJ Lee, CM Punk, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, John Cena, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Sheamus and the Wyatt Family. That’s a pretty weak choice selection.

Of course, I did omit two choices on purpose. But eleven choices is still really weak. Like the ladies on the top of the post, they have two old school costumes, neither of which the ladies are wearing. You could snag a Sergeant Slaughter kit which comes with fake muscles. I’m not sure why since good ole’ Sarge never was much of one to hit the weight room, unless you count his days on G.I. Joe. At least it’s adult sized so that old people can recognize your costume because the WWE’s target audience is going to have no clue. If you want to go old school for your child though, they provide you with a mini-Undertaker costume. The WWE is nice enough to add foam lapels to the black jacket. I can understand getting a foam chest with this costume. The last piece to this costume is the wide brimmed hat. It’s just too bad that the WWE didn’t include the hair extensions or else this costume would be worth kidnapping a little person like Los Matadores did and dressing them up for only $24.99.

GI Joe Sgt SlaughterIf you want to “Follow the Buzzards” though, it’s time to get the ultimate Wyatt Family package. You get a t shirt, straw fedora, a sheep’s mask and a lantern. This is a two person costume package because you can’t wear a fedora and sheep’s mask at the same time. The WWE also provides a separate sale for a red beard if you want to make sure your partner in crime looks like Erick Rowan. Considering all of the corporate tie ins the WWE has, I’m not sure why they went with a cheap lantern. They could have talked to Coleman to sell a special WWE sponsored look for those of you who like to go out and camp. It’s also look more like the one that Bray Wyatt uses coming down to the ring. The WWE could have at least made it green to come closer. They also could have really made this a three person package by including a stained wife beater and handkerchief so that someone could look like Luke Harper.

I could go through all of both TNA & WWE’s choices, but I’m going to make like a ghost and disappear from this article. Happy Halloween! – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #232

Get used to this.

Get used to this.

Oh my god, it’s that time again! Time for another Stunt Granny Audio, and this time hosted by none other than Kevin and Dusty. Dusty starts things off by talking about a vivid dream he just had that included Kevin and Jeremy. Why were they all in high school? Why were they all on a softball team? Why does Dusty want to kill Kevin’s imaginary girlfriend? They then move on to sports conversation, as Kevin has a lot to be happy about, what with his Pirates enjoying their first winning season in two decades and beating the Reds in the playoffs already. Dusty sidetracks quickly (mainly to mention that Bill Simmons is a moron), and Kevin laments the fact that historically all the Pittsburgh sports team cannot be good at the same time, thus the Steelers going 0-4 so far on the season. Dusty also hates Dusty Baker of the Reds, maybe more than Simmons.

Finally, they move on to wrestling talk. Dusty makes very little sense in enumerating the reasons why he prefers TNA to WWE right now. Kevin helps him in coming up with all the positive attributes of TNA right now, to help lessen the blow of the ridiculous current Dixie Carter storyline. They then move on WWE talk, where Dusty explains that he is tired of any and all involvement of any and all of the McMahon family, and that is what is holding him back from watching more WWE television right now. Kevin expresses concerns about Ryback, Daniel Bryan and his boy Dolph Ziggler. All that and a whole lot more, and you don’t even have to start a meth lab to afford to pay to listen to it!

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