Alex Shelley Signs With The WWE. Is Something More In Store?

Over the weekend, Prowrestling.net reported that Alex Shelley was signed by WWE. They thought this would open the door for the WWE to sign other TNA talent such as Matt Morgan who has burned through his dates in TNA and is currently sitting out. That part could be true but there may be something else afoot.

According to my sources though, the WWE is preparing itself to start a cruiser weight program when or if the WWE Network ever gets off the ground. It would explain the alleged signing of Johnny Gargano back in July. The only problem with this theory is that the WWE still doesn’t have a cable carrier for it or a launch date since they pushed it back on April 1st. In fact a WWE Network hasn’t been mentioned at all.

The same sources named another possible addition to the cruiser weight roster and one who is familiar to WWE Tough Enough, Matt Cross. He’d have a built in story line to start off the programming. The WWE could further cherry pick from PRIME Wrestling and nab Bobby Beverly, Bobby Shields and Louis Lyndon. Those three would need some work but the WWE doesn’t have enough talent for that type of division.

In house, they could move Cody Rhodes to a cruiser weights because they’re lost on what to do with him right now. He could even drag along his current feud, Sin Cara. Please, we’re begging you to get him, his mood lighting and his slightly less botch-tacular move set off of our televisions. His former body double, Hunico, could use more TV time too. Just to single out all of the Latino wrestlers all at one time like any good WWE writer, Epico & Primo along with the lovely Rosa Mendes would be fine additions. Yoshi Tatsu could add another level of xenophobia to the division so it isn’t taken up by those dirty Mexicans. Evan Bourne, if he could stop smoking pot like he’s Kevin Smith, could be a force in the division. Justin Gabriel and Michael McGillicutty are the forgotten members of Nexus but they’d fit into the division too. Tyson Kidd got a push for a hot second when the Money In The Bank PPV came around but he could move up a couple of rungs (Wokka wokka) in this type of environment.

Do I trust the WWE to do this much thinking about their programming? Not for a split second. I’d feel great for the hard working guys, especially the ones from PRIME Wrestling, to get some extra exposure and hopefully money that they deserve working for the WWE. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Review of @WWE #Raw1000

As Jeremy so eloquently put it, tonight starts my descent into madness. No, not the Aurora variety madness but the kind that makes me want to throw my lap top against a wall kind of madness. Tonight will likely be a very good, packed show. The writing will fall apart after tonight though. As for the poll below, I voted for “It doesn’t matter, the title was rendered meaningless long ago.” I’m not sure it was a long time ago but I had been long harping on the meaninglessness of the IC, US, Tag Team & Women’s Title. For some reason, since main event level guys held the belt, I didn’t think about it being meaningless. It is though. Mostly because as another choice point out “It doesn’t matter, John Cena is basically “the champ” anyway.” So, CM Punk may be merch champ and putting on spectacular matches, but you can tell the WWE doesn’t really favor him. Or even Sheamus. Enough editorial, time to do it during the review.

And just so you know, this is our 1850 post. Beat that WWE! We get a retrospective of Raw. It was a nice enough video package. Vince McMahon comes out first. I didn’t listen to his special email message that he sent out. Why is the chairman introducing Degeneration X? I’m guessing everyone else on the internet asked this question. They’re rebels who don’t, aw, you get it right? Even the video package accompanying their entrance seems lame. Shawn Michaels acts out of breath and really stupid. HHH checks for his underwear too. They introduce Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X Pac. Gunn & Michaels get cutesy with another line. Damien Sandow interrupts the proceedings. You aren’t going to save us. We’re going to get this dreck for the rest of the three hours tonight and in the future. What did I type earlier? This episode would be fine? I’m taking that back already. They still have two words for us. Yuck. Time to get drunk.

I miss Jim Ross coming out because I wanted to get cake for my girl. Wink, wink. Rey Mysterio comes out before he can say a word. He’s teaming with the botch machine Sin Cara. Sheamus is on the team too. We can’t have too many matches tonight so let’s have huge tag team matches! Chris Jericho is still a heel by being on their team. Dolph Ziggler is out the chute next then Alberto Del Rio. Then a commercial.

Ziggler starts off against Sin Cara. Oh, by the way, no animosity between Mitchell Cool and Ross. Stupidity central. My vote is Jericho costing Ziggler and his team the match. Looks like Ziggler is going to cost Jericho the match. Sheamus wins with the Brogue Kick. Not much of a match. What? JR is only calling one match? Fuck off WWE.

Why an I watching these dumb videos? I still don’t care about Tout. Charlie Sheen is hosting from Las Vegas. I’m glad he can Skype so we can plug something else. I buzzed through the replay of AJ & Daniel Bryan from last week. AJ then gets to talk to Layla. Of course dumb shit is happening outside of their locker room door. Kill me. The hand is grown up. Shouldn’t it be half black? Mark Henry was the father.

Sonic gets pimped. Why would wrestling be important during the 1000 Raw? Jack Swagger gets to lose to the Funkasaurus. Another match that doesn’t matter. Shazam app. Clay gets to introduce Dude Love. Splat was an accurate description from Cool. Swagger gets the Mandible Claw with the mandatory gullet use. Trish Stratus gets to talk yoga to HHH. We’re supposed to laugh again. We don’t.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

There are two lessons to be learned from this weekend. The more important lesson is above. After the age of twelve, you should never go anywhere dressed up like your “hero”. This act automatically makes you more than a douche bag. You go straight to douche duffel because your doucheness can not be confined to a simple bag. Just in case you’re not familiar with the impersonation above, Google Rickie Fowler. He has a fantastic child molester mustache. The second lesson from the weekend should be a common theme here on my blog, Kent State kicks ass. On Friday, the baseball team (ranked #25) toppled #13 Kentucky in a twenty one inning  marathon. On Saturday, they beat the hosts of the regional round, #11 Purdue, 7-3. On Sunday, they did what they couldn’t do last year. They punched their ticket to Super Regionals this coming weekend by beating Kentucky 3-2 in nine innings. I debated traveling to see them play but they will be taking on the #10 Oregon Ducks in Eugene. That flight is a bit much for a three game series. Let’s roll.

My cable is blowing currently. Good thing it’s recap of Big Show boring me to death last week. Mitchell Cool gets introduced for some reason. Oh, he’s going to act pompous to John Cena. I can’t wait. (I’m being so sarcastic.) Cool delivers the pompous. My TV is still gacking up. Cena makes a great defense case. Cool is still avoiding why Johnny Wooden GM still has a job. He defied the Board’s ruling! Cool is heeling it up well. Cena is still making better counter points. Johnny comes out. Cena milks his choice of Mitchell Cool. Did Cool get divorced? He doesn’t have his ring on.

Mitchell Cool complains to Johnny backstage. There is a rumor about a job evaluation. It’s sort of a fun yo-yo effect that they have going with the evaluations but it’s still dumb. If you need to be checked on every other months for more than six months, you should be fired. Vickie Guerrero comes out to introduce Dolph Ziggler. He has a rematch with Sheamus. I’m not sure why Lawler isn’t throwing more of “I’m undefeated or awesome” whatever Cool bragged out. If someone isn’t feeding him those reminders, they need to be canned too. Commercial break.

We resume with Ziggler in control. The woman can’t stop talking about Vickie’s boobs. She finally realized that she may not be wearing a bra. White Noise then the Brogue Kick. My boy’s move to the singles division has not gone well. Ziggler needs to start winning. Alberto Del Rio attacks Sheamus on the ramp. Del Rio locks in the cross arm breaker for which he won’t get in trouble. But Johnny’s show is much less lawless than HHH’s. (Even more sarcasm.)

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WWE #Smackdown Spoilers – Cbus Edition

Smackdown spoilers. It's gross to show spoiled food.

So not to be a complete ass with spoilers, I will put Smackdown information below the Read More button. I do think that spoilers for NXT and Superstars is fair game in my estimation. I’ll post my Tweet (if you happen to not follow us @Stuntgranny) then any additional information that I can provide.

Tweet #1. – The parking lot isn’t much more crowded than last year’s #Smackdown I parked in spot 71 #GenoforHart (Post Show: So Geno is Evgeni “Geno” Malkin from the Pittsburgh Penguins. The guy was already my favorite Penguin. Then he decided to hoist the team on his surgically repaired knee and be the top scorer in the NHL. The Hart Trophy is for the best player in the league during the regular season. He’s the man.)

Tweet #2. – I go to my seat just for the beginning #NXT It’s a tag team special. (Post Show: the parking being more crowded did lead to extra people in the audience. Definitely not close to the 18,000+ in Cleveland for Raw.)

Tweet #3 & #4. – The Usos are taking on Darren Young & Titus O’Neil. The Usos won. They looked pretty sloppy themselves. Hm, wonder why they aren’t getting TV time? (Post show: I still dig the haka dance from the Usos but they were worse in the ring than Young & O’Neil. No surprise Tamina broke away from these losers.)

Tweet #5 & #6. – Percy Watson & Alex Riley are taking on Curt Hawkins & Tyler Rex. Who’s the coach in the 2nd group? Reks & Hawkins win after a top rope elbow by Curt. (Post Show: Not sure what to add to this match. Nothing happening for people who have been on the pay roll for a while.)

Tweet #7 & #9 – Derrick Bateman & hot blonde whose name I should remember because she hung with AJ will take on Johnny Curtis & some English chick. Maxine is Curtis’s woman. (Post Show: Thanks to @lecroy24fan who has a better memory, Kaitlyn is the blonde. Maxine was with Johnny Curtis. I should have noticed her too since I watched the Diva’s season of NXT before they went strictly online.)

Tweet #8 – McGillicuty & Tyson Kidd are feuding. Promos break down into a brawl. (Post show: No surprise these guys aren’t on either of the big shows either. I love Kidd’s in ring work but his promos still stink.)

Tweet #10 – I’m just to the camera left of the announcers in the 4th row. We’ll see if I get some TV time. (Post Show: They only taped two segments in my area. I tried to get on. I even pointed at my phone with the Stuntgranny.com home page up. I doubt I’ll be seen despite the proximity to the ring.)

Tweet #11 – Dude beside me thinks Maxine is a man’s name. He’s got to be brain power deficient. (Post Show: His buddy was on of those “Title Belt Guys”. Yikes. Plus, the dude wanted to blow and/or have sex with Santino. He also loved screwing with the five year old in front of us. His mom was pretty hot. anyway, it takes a lot for a twenty something year old to mess with a five year old’s mind.)

Tweet #12 & #13 – Bateman & Kaitlyn pick up a quick victory. Let’s just say Kaitlyn is mildly attractive live. @DustyGiebink I’ll pass along your new number (Post Show: The only person I saw tonight that was hotter than Kaitlyn was one of the waitress’s at Gallo’s. Smoking. The both of them. Sorry Dusty, I didn’t get a chance to pass along your number, or even my own.)

Tweet #14, 15 & 16 – Justin Gabriel is taking on for Hunico with his man servant Camacho. My Kashi Go Lean is wreaking havoc on my intestinal track. Maybe I should let a few rip to clear out my section. Hunico put a thumping on Gabriel. (Post Show: I wreaked havoc on my section later. No one seemed to care despite the fact that I grossed myself out a little bit. I didn;t think Hunico would win. I think both guys have the whole package. they just need someone to get behind them.)

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Kevin’s Blog: A Review of #Smackdown & De Facto #EliminationChamber Preview

This is more of a preview than a review.

They started with Daniel Bryan/Big Show/Randy Orton recap. Orton starts out in Teddy Long‘s office. Teddy can’t let Orton wrestle because of his concussion. He tells him it’s tonight or the Elimination Chamber. Injuries happen so may as well use it. The Big Show & the Great Khali are taking on Cody Rhodes & Wade Barrett. Good way to get all of the Chamber participants on TV even if Bryan was only in the preview.  Wade Barrett’s push against Orton is officially dead. Big Show destroys Barrett & Khali. Teddy Long says that Orton’s out of the Elimination Chamber. Mark Henry wants to be put in it. Big Show comes in and asks for Daniel Bryan tonight. Henry tells him to take his turn. Big Show drops him. Big Show destroys his office. They are really selling Show. He’s doing good work. Before I get to far, be sure to check out Dusty & Matt’s audio about TNA below. I doubt I’m getting to that review. I will watch it before Elimination Chamber, I hope.

Teddy Long wants security to politely take Big Show out of the building because of Big Show’s threats. Ted DiBiase takes on Hunico again. Ted has a soft cast now. Hunico gets a cheap win with Camacho’s help. Nice little undercard stuff. It’s got squat to do with the PPV though.

They did the usual replay of HHH/UT/Shawn Michaels. That has nothing to do with the PPV. Unless HHH makes it official there. The tag team match with the Usos versus Rosa Mendes with I suppose Primo & Epico may get repeated on the Elimination Chamber if they think they don’t have enough filler for the show. Back Stabber for the win. Daniel Bryan comes to the ring smiling after it is announced Big Show has voluntarily left.

Daniel Bryan has the stick. We get replay of Monday again. Bryan brags about continuing to win. He tells the crowd he proved them wrong by winning the title. I just hope he doesn’t sink when he loses the title belt. Bryan has a strong run going here. Bryan should note that he’ll be champion at Wrestlemania like he claimed so many months ago. Bryan wants Lilian to announce him as the winner of the match. What a dick move. OK, there’s the missing Teddy. Sheamus is the happy volunteer replacement for Orton. Good way to get him involved in this mix since he’s been on standby for and through the Elimination Chamber. Cena versus Kane preview video package. Plus for a go home show.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Smackdown

Second review of the night.

Let’s keep rolling after a small break to watch Minnesota at Denver on the NBC Sports Network. Yep, I even watch college hockey.

Sheamus starts me off for the second part of the double header. History tells us one of the titles will change hands. Sheamus has always fought against the bullies whether it was in school or in the WWE. Wade Barrett comes out before we get a dumb Irish story. Barrett is going to win the Elimination Chamber. So, when does everyone else come down? Cody Rhodes is the next one out. Then the Big Show. I mean, what can you really say about spots like this? It does the trick but no one gets enough mic time to do much. Rhodes ripping on Show was pretty funny. Show & Sheamus toss the heels from the ring. I smell a tag team match.

For some reason, as Jinder Mahal gets worse, he gets more bullshit. We don’t care about the headdress or the plexiglass box it’s in. He takes on Khali for his spot in the EC. I hope Jeremy liked this squash match. We got replay of Mark Henry’s suspension. Aksana is hitting on Teddy when we go “live”. Daniel Bryan interrupts. Bryan goes vegan on Teddy for his barbeque party. Teddy uses JR’s sauce. Teddy does a great job. Not sure why he isn’t on Raw. He’s a babyface guy that for the most part calls it down the middle.

Beth Phoenix takes on Alicia Fox. Booker is calling Beth peerless. Did they suddenly forget about Tamina? She hits the ring to save Alicia. They have a nice little face off. The announcers are even selling a respect angle. Best Diva’s story since the original break of Kharma.

If you don’t think I FF thru the Rock review, you haven’t read this review before. Such a time saver to watch Smackdown afterwards. Natalya is getting nervous. What, they’re going with her farts really stink angle? Really, pretty much after a good Diva’s angle?

Another dumb entrance sequence. Big Show before the commercial break then Cody Rhodes, Wade Barrett & finish with Sheamus. I get it as far as popping the crowd before & after the break though. Still think it’s weird. Mitchell Cool makes a good point saying you need to believe in yourself. Booker was trying to say Cody couldn’t be dual champion. If he’s entrant #5 or #6, why wouldn’t he? Booker then says you need to believe how good you are between the ropes. Sheamus doing a roll up on Barrett was very uncharacteristic of his offense. Commercial break.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Smackdown

I haven’t received a call to go out so let’s do a review. It could be a defacto Survivor Series preview. It’s been a long week at the office so I have zero energy to put a story about my life before this review. Let’s roll.

Mark Henry yelled at then assaulted Daniel Bryan who has gotten more quality time  getting his ass kicked by Henry than he has since he won the MITB contract. Nice of them to wear their new shirts. I’ve been working on an article about them and a couple of other shirts. If I get lucky, I can work on it this weekend. They replayed the segment that happened before a commercial break. ADD central. Sin Cara gets introduced.

Vickie leads off after the break. Karen Jarrett needs to listen to this crowd. That’s the response you should be aiming for. Not complete apathy. What, Dolph didn’t get any mic time? I’m calling shenanigans. I need to start drinking for Twitter mentions. I’m three drinks behind. Dolph then gets a cheap win over someone who can’t wrestle. Why is no one from, OK, Mason Ryan helps after Sin Cara gets his ass kicked.

Jack Swagger takes on Mason Ryan for his assault. Nice of the WWE to give Ryan a win going into SS. Ryan’s hair does need to go. His posing was even half assed. Justin Gabriel gets hit on by Alicia Fox. Zack gets a couple of more signatures when Big Show arrives. Big Show angry because of beat down. What silliness. Why does a statement by Henry anger you? It’d make sense if he’d been buddy buddy with Bryan.

Ted & Ted get to talk. The Long variety compliments the DiBiase variety when Aksana arrives. She wants to advertise for WWE12. Long gives himself a pep talk. Christian gets to bitch. His injury isn’t going to last long or they realize Smackdown goes down hill without him. He made it sound like a longer term injury. AJ is checking on Bryan when Show arrives. Big Show angry still. Me must find Mark.

Derrick Bateman debuts against Ted DiBiase. Michael Hutter from PWO debuts. Matthews zings Cole about not filling us in more about Bateman after he fed him.  Bateman is a power couple with Maxine from another NXT season. Ted continues to roll with a win. Pretty expected.

Big Show still angry.  Me knock out Jinder, stare down Tyson Kidd. They replay the opening of the show, of which they’ve already replayed. Show comes to the ring. I was hoping that the Big Show’s favorite footage was going to be him coffin surfing. It’s my favorite Big Show footage. Big show promises to be the new champ then throws a number of cheesetastic punches.

Kofi takes on Hunico, who grabs a mic and starts speaking Spanish. I’ve got no clue. German is not very helpful at times like this. It is useful when you’re drinking in beer halls and gardens in Munich. As much as I hate Hunico’s look, he wrestled better than the real Sin Cara. Cole calls him a proud man. He can’t be wearing that outfit. After the announcers talked up Hunico all match, they lose his credibility by having him lose to Kofi. Another Ezekiel repackaging video.

AJ & Kaitlyn take on Natalya & Beth. Squash match central. This match is sloppy even for a women’s match. AJ looks smooth in the ring but she’s too small. Natalya was pinning herself with the uber Sharpshooter. She would do well to be Bryan’s valet if they keep the nerd label on both of them. I think we’re supposed to be intrigued that Kaitlyn is pissed at AJ.

Rock gets full promo time on Smackdown. I FF. Cena should really bring up the point that Rock mostly does kids movie. He shouldn’t be pissed that Cena courts them. That’s who pays his bills. I catch up to the show before the replay is over. They are loving the intro then go to commercial tonight. Randy Orton is the winner this time.

Sheamus then  Wade Barrett & Cody Rhodes, who gets an inset promo. I like him so much better without the mask. The promo was pretty useless. A commercial break happened. Christian is at ring side. He ended up interfering in a nondescript match. Sheamus & Orton house Rhodes & Barrett. Are they really going to have Team Barrett win via Even Steven booking? I want to buy a major pay per view but I’m not excited about the show in the least. -Kevin

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