The 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas: Day 7 – IWA-MS is bakk, Ric Flair is in debt, Sin Cara is suspended

(Let’s just cut to the chase today: When looking for only 12 stories to summarize the stupidity of an entire calendar year in pro wrestling, a) it simply becomes damn near impossible to do, and b) you start to see trends in the idiocy. So, I’m sorry, but Day 7 of the 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas brings you three tales of retardation, each involving someone we’ve already doted upon during this series: IWA-Mid South, the little engine that shouldn’t; Ric Flair, the million-time world champion without two dimes to hold between his often-naked ass cheeks; and Sin Cara, brought in by new talent developer Triple H and then suspended faster than a botched huracanrana.)

(IWA Mid-South is Bakk: Originally posted July 22, 2011) Extry extry, read all about it: http://iwamidsouth.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=iwamsonlytopics&action=display&thread=6225&page=1

Hilariously, they’ve ethered all of the old board, apparently looking for a “fresh start.” Even more hilariously, the new ownership team is not revealing themselves. I’m placing my money on Ian Grotten and Fim Jannin, personally. – Dusty

(Hey everyone! Let’s help Ric Flair pay off his debt: Originally posted July 21, 2011) Check it out: http://ricflair.com/shop/catalog/

Most notable to you might be that the Big Gold Belt is on sale for $4,550. Most notable to me is that for $750 you can have a live video chat with the man. The Man. I would be willing to put in upwards of five dollars, if someone else wanted to pitch in as well. We could have him talk about how great Stunt Granny is for five minutes. – Dusty

(Sin Cara Suspended: Originally posted July 18, 2011) Well this explains the loss on Smackdown, then the twitching awkward exit during the Money in The Bank match. See, Sin Cara has been suspended for his first WWE Wellness Policy violation.  They don’t release what exactly he failed but the fact he failed the policy is embarrassing. Maybe this turns out to be a Rey Mysterio type of deflection and he’ll produce a prescription but it still tarnishes Sin Cara and he doesn’t have enough polish right now to recover. All the hype, mood lighting and push he has gotten haven’t amounted to anything substantial. Smackdown ratings are in the grave and is soundly panned for being boring. Hopefully this will allow Sin Cara the time to get used to WWE’s rings and a few lessons in handling pressure. -Jeremy

Day 1: Ric Flair still can’t keep his finances straight
Day 2: Bret Hart on Twitter, put the letter “S” in front of the wrong word 
Day 3: IWA-Mid South: Going Out Of Business Since 2002
Day 4: Triple H leading WWE new talent development
Day 5: Chyna to make more porn, eidvo43we.. oops, can’t see, gouged my eyes out
Day 6: Jeff Hardy tases a woman

The 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas: Day 3 – IWA-Mid South: Going Out Of Business Since 2002

(For the 12 days leading up to Christmas, Stunt Granny will relive with you the 12 most head-slapping, dipshitty stories of 2011, the things that made us wonder why we still watch professional wrestling and support some of these dingbats. And the king of these dingbats may also be the “king of the death match;” that is to say, the guy most willing to bash his own skull in with a fluorescent light tube in the parking lot of the Taco Bell where he works, Ian Rotten. Follow the tragic story of Rotten attempting to keep IWA-Mid South afloat. And don’t be ashamed to laugh.)

(Originally posted March 29, 2011) Posted yesterday on the IWA Mid South message board (here’s the whole thread: http://iwamidsouth.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=IWA&action=display&thread=6207&page=1):

Effective immediately, IWA-MS is closing its doors.

Anyone interested in purchasing our ring, sound system, concession items (pizza oven, popcorn maker ect.) or the IWA-MS video library, should call 815-528-0792 for more information.

Thank you all for your years of patronage and support.

So seriously how much does Ian expect to get for what has to be an ancient pizza oven? That thread is something else, by the way. Who the bleep is Billy Gram? Why is he stirring shit on a message board? More importantly, how long until IWA-MS has their big comeback show? My guess is a month. – Dusty

Day 1: Ric Flair still can’t keep his finances straight
Day 2: Bret Hart on Twitter, put the letter “S” in front of the wrong word 

IWA-Mid South Is Bakk!

Extry extry, read all about it: http://iwamidsouth.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=iwamsonlytopics&action=display&thread=6225&page=1

Hilariously, they’ve ethered all of the old board, apparently looking for a “fresh start.” Even more hilariously, the new ownership team is not revealing themselves. I’m placing my money on Ian Grotten and Fim Jannin, personally. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Audio #135

Oh my god it’s another edition of Stunt Granny Audio. Dusty and Eric come at ya this week dropping knowledge and kickin puppies for good, yeah good, behavior.  This time around they talk about the demise of IWA-Midsouth Wrestling. Is it uncouth to dance on the grave already? They also talk about Michaels Cole’s homoslur on Twitter. Why is this a big deal and is there an actual anti-Michael Cole agenda out there in cyber land. Keeping it current, Fit Finlay was fired and the boys have things to say about that. They also manage some John Cena knowledge as well. It is brisk thirty minutes so give it a listen.

Oh and don’t forget tomorrow starts the annual WrestleMania preview shows with Jeremy & Kevin. So come on back and check them out.

Stunt Granny Audio #135

IWA-Mid South: Going Out Of Business Since 2002

Posted yesterday on the IWA Mid South message board (here’s the whole thread: http://iwamidsouth.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=IWA&action=display&thread=6207&page=1):

Effective immediately, IWA-MS is closing its doors.

Anyone interested in purchasing our ring, sound system, concession items (pizza oven, popcorn maker ect.) or the IWA-MS video library, should call 815-528-0792 for more information.

Thank you all for your years of patronage and support.

So seriously how much does Ian expect to get for what has to be an ancient pizza oven? That thread is something else, by the way. Who the bleep is Billy Gram? Why is he stirring shit on a message board? More importantly, how long until IWA-MS has their big comeback show? My guess is a month. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 3/26/11

1. Abdullah the Butcher – I told a co-worker for the first time since I started here that I’m a pro wrestling fan. Of course he wanted to make sure I knew it was fake, but then he knowingly talked about wrestlers using pieces of razor blades to cut themselves during matches. I told him about Abdullah the Butcher and the scar tissue into which he can insert a quarter. I thought my co-worker was gonna puke. – Eric

2. The Miz – Let’s see how many times he ends up on the list this week. The Miz’s appearance on “Conan” was the stuff televisions were made for. Not too many people could verbally get the better of Conan O’Brien, but Miz unabashedly talked over the host, then gave him the nickname “Ginga Ninja” and the catchphrase, “Step into my dojo, mofo!” I really hope it sticks. – Eric

3. Bret Hart – The Hitman relieved himself of the old “HitmanBretShart” Twitter handle but kept up the juvenile, one-sided war of words with Hulk Hogan, particularly via Twitpic (or YFrog, or whatever, who cares), portraying Hogan as a withered-up old hanger-on, to the enjoyment of a few thousand smelly Internet nerds. Meanwhile, Hogan made a cameo on “American Idol,” still one of TV’s biggest rated shows. In other words, fuck you, Bret Hart. – Eric

4. TNA Impact – I swear I am trying to watch this show but damn they make it difficult. This is the exact train of events of trying to watch this week: I went to the DVR menu. I chose Impact. I fast forwarded thru the end of Gangland. I stopped when I saw Ken Anderson. I started getting annoyed at the opening. I fast forwarded until I saw a marker board in the ring. I got more annoyed. I shut it off after four minutes of viewing. I then got a text from Dusty. It wasn’t positive. How the hell were we watching at the same time when we are in different time zones anyway? – Jeremy

5. Michael Cole – Cole is the greatest heel in wrestling. He would make a great character in WWE comics. I mean he already has his own hideout in the Cole Mine as well as a loyal henchman. – Jeremy

6. Eddie Edwards – He won the Ring Of Honor title. He defeated Roderick Strong. Past champions in ROH include CM Punk, Samoa Joe and Homicide. We once met Homicide in Orlando, which is the home of Walt Disney World and Universal Studios.  We were trying to drunkenly speak with Cheerleader Melissa. She was a very nice person but her friend was annoyed. I bet if she knew who we were it would  have had a much more positive effect on her. By the way,  I used these names so I can tag them without a hint of guilt for hits for the site. – Jeremy

7. Kurt Angle – As Eric posted earlier today, Angle was arrested today in North Dakota when he couldn’t keep his car on the road. Police smelled alcohol on him and he was done for. Does TNA have the least professional locker room in wrestling history? There just seems to be no discipline or personal responsibility whatsoever there. – Dusty

8. Kurt Angle’s mugshot – It’s as if he’s simply taking a fan photo on a sunny afternoon.

9. Ian Rotten – Recently ethered into oblivion on some blog talk radio show by a 40 year old weirdo. I experienced this audio in the following way: The two idiots are yelling at each other. I am drowsy. I fall asleep. I wake up. The two idiots are still yelling at each other, now in harsher tone. Ian is basically every lowest common denominator wrestling fan ever, separated only by the fact that he actually got to run his own shows. So kudos for that. – Dusty

10. WWE’s partnership with Kmart – I guess WWE figures before all the Kmarts in the world are driven out of business by the existence of Walmart and the fact that they are crummy, dirty stores, they better form a partnership with them to promote their house shows. Soon enough, though, Ian Rotten will be hosting IWA MS shows on the parking lots of each and every one of these fine retail stores. – Dusty

11. TNA’s Spring Cleaning Sale – Don West is the fucking fucking man.

Dusty

Stunt Granny Audio #134

Holy cow, grandkids, it’s the Wonder Twins edition of Stunt Granny Audio! Dusty and Eric tag team this bee-eye-itch and, in light of his upcoming devouring of the main-event slot at WrestleMania, discuss the legacy Triple H has created for himself from 1995 to the present day. Why does he latch onto the top slot with such a white-knuckle grip? Does he deserve it? What has he accused others of that he himself has done? And is he a dark shade of brown because he fake tans or because he’s so far up important people’s asses that he chews their breakfast for them? All that, and a rant on Ian Rotten, is just one click away!

Stunt Granny Audio #134

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