Insane Clown Posse names a song “Chris Benoit” and, quite frankly…

… it’s about god damn time. The ice needed to be broken. The statute of limitations within general pop culture and pro wrestling discourse had to end eventually. Even if WWE never utters the name “Chris Benoit” again, I’m glad two fat guys who paint their faces, spray people with orange soda and rap about the supernatural are the ones to do it. According to Prowrestling.net, ICP is currently filming a video for “Chris Benoit,” a song off ICP’s upcoming “The Mighty Death Pop!” album that Violent J claims is “about the loss of sanity” but I believe is about the science behind a diving headbutt.

Now, don’t take my above thoughts as an endorsement for taking lots and lots of steroids, bumping every night in a way that jars your spine, smashing your head until your brain turns into corn and mashed potatoes, and then killing your wife and kid on steroid rage. What I’m saying is, even the “He Who Shall Not Be Named” joke is going to get old soon, and someone had to put the words “Chris Benoit” back into our vocabulary. Might as well be two rascally rappin’ rasslin’ fans whose Juggalo followers, in their 48-inch-waist Jncos and stupid hairdos, have been labeled by the FBI as a “loosely organized gang.” On second thought, Chris Benoit would be rolling over in his grave. -Eric

ICP’s 2011 Gathering of the Juggalos to feature wrestling, few teeth

I don’t think any of the Stunt Granny crew proclaim to be juggalos, although Kevin might own an Insane Clown Posse album, I used to sell them at the record store (and heard about them in, like, 1995 through some strange connection with Disc Makers, who manufactured ICP’s cassette tapes), and Jeremy is from Detroit and has probably drank Faygo in his day. But I’m sure most Stunt Granny readers know the Insane Clown Posse either as a failed act in WCW, a part of the Oddities in the WWF in 1998, or simply as big wrestling fans who paint their faces and rap about weird horror-type shit while millions of east-siders snarl, stink, smoke, wear Jnco jeans and pump their fists in obnoxious unison.

Well put all of those things together, mix in a shit-ton of alcohol and a few totally safe bonfires and what do you have? The 12th annual Gathering of the Juggalos is what! This mess of hip-hop, rock and roll, pro wrestling, anhydrous ammonia and Sudafed takes place in Cave In Rock, Illinois, from August 11 (hey, that’s Hulk Hogan’s birthday!) to August 14 (hey, that’s, um, the Festival of Hungry Ghosts in China!) and actually has some humongous names in the world of super-niche entertainment. Live musical performances include Ice Cube, Busta Rhymes and MC Hammer (who probably lives in the woods where this event will take place); stand-up comedians Brian Posehn and Harland Williams will be joined by wrestlers King Kong Bundy, Colt Cabana and Mick Foley (all of whom have wrestled for ICP’s Juggalo Championshit Wrestling), and, in a dream match from the Civil War era, Roddy Piper will take on Terry Funk (their walks down the aisle will last from August 11-13).

Anyway, if you have 27 minutes of your life to spare, watch this embarrassing “infomercial” for what actually seems like a cool event, although you wouldn’t catch me within 10 miles from it, mostly because the band Dope makes me want to vomit and marijuana smoke gives me the heebee-jeebies. -Eric

TNA Disappoints Insane Clown Posse

The tears of a clown...

From the Melt:

Violent J of ICP wrote “I usually love all wrestling, especially TNA, but last night’s Bound for Glory PPV was the worst written show I have ever seen in my whole life.  The boys worked hard, the stories were fuckin trash.  The worst ever.  I want my money back.  It was insulting to fans like me who support them.”

I have never known Violent J to be anything other than a man of the most discerning tastes. If he is disappointed, I am disappointed. TNA, you have some splainin’ to do! – Dusty

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