Stunt Granny Audio: OHPA 9

The Cave of The Winds in Colorado Springs, CO

The Cave of The Winds in Colorado Springs, CO

Ken & Kevin are here to cover more unfamiliar and familiar territory. They start by talking about the NBA Draft which is on the TV. What does Kevin find peculiar about the NBA Draft? Why does Ken not believe him despite reading it on the TV?  After getting rid of the unfamiliar, they move to the familiar by talking about the World Cup. How is it that the US could lose but still move on to the next round? Could you do that in any other sport? What does Kevin like about the three point win system? Should they institute it in the NHL? How good are the Germans? What is the track record of European teams in South American based World Cups? How good is the Portugese Ronaldo? Ken & Kevin couldn’t get out of World Cup talk by at least talking about Luis Suarez biting Giorgio Chiellini. They move on to more familiar territory by talking about a Japanese game show in which two members of the Japanese World Cup team take on 33 children. How old are the children? Can they stop the National Team members from scoring a goal? What would have happened if one of these guys kicked the ball directly into one of the children? Why did the Olympic fencers have to face adults instead of children? Their final topic of the night is extreme caving. Did Ken pick this topic because Altoona PA is mentioned in the article? How deep is the Cheve cave system in Oaxaca, Mexico? How many entries are there to this space? How much packing is done before even entering the cave? Do they have to come back out of the cave after a certain amount of time? Who’s diet do they follow? How do they communicate with people on the surface? Do you want to wear anti-bacterial underwear? Did Ken forget to address the Altoona story? Kevin didn’t forget about his #SippyTimeBeer of the week. Join them on this expedition through sports and caving when you click the link below!

The #WWE Celebrates the World Cup

The WWE decided to celebrate the beginning of the World Cup today by having some of their Superstars and Divas give a Knute Rockne-esque speech for their home country. You can here what they say in the video but through a special futbol translator, I know what they really said.

Dolph Ziggler – Even the US’s head coach Jurgen Klinsmann doesn’t think the US stands a chance in this “Group of Death” with Germany, Portugal and Ghana. That’s because he played for Germany and is still pissed at Spain for beating them in the quarter finals in 2010. Klinsmann threw our chances as soon as he decided not to include Landon Donovan. That’s why you can only trust manager’s from the USA! USA! USA!

Emma – We’re so great at football that we have our own version called Australian Football. The US isn’t the only country that gets these sports mixed up!

Alberto Del Rio – Mexico is so terrible that the last three World Cup qualifications we’ve played at Crew Stadium in Columbus OH that we’ve lost 2-0 to the USA. That makes it completely logical to think that we can beat Brazil in Brazil without any problems. We’ll just get our cartel to drop some dead bodies in their slums and that’ll scare them enough to throw the match. Hold on, their slums are worse than ours? We’re so screwed.

William Regal – England’s career in the World Cup is the same in mine in wrestling. A small, vocal amount of fans consider me/them great while the rest of the world craps on me/them. At least we have a chance of moving on from Group D since Costa Rica and Uruguay suck. England will then lose in spectacular fashion in the Knock Out Rounds. I’m depressed already.

Kofi Kingston – I’m creating an angle for myself because I can barely stay on TV. I can’t wait to be run down by Zeb Colter and then lose to the re-re-re-repackaged Jack Swagger. Come on Ghana, get me some air time!

Santino Marella – Since I was born in Canada, I got to celebrate a Gold Medal in Olympic Ice Hockey earlier this year. Since I’m Italian on TV, I get to root for soccer power house Italy. I can’t wait until William Regal has to wear an Italy jersey on NXT next week after Italy beats England on Saturday. Mayors aren’t the only one who can make these stupid bets.

Paige – Joe Hart is so hunky.

Cesaro – I can’t wait to say Switzerland lost in five different languages. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: The Pittsburgh Pirates Get To .500 (At Least)

Pirates Hats

’97, ’06 and ’11

My beloved Pittsburgh Pirates have not had a winning season since I got my driver’s license in 1992. I have suffered through the majority of the twenty consecutive seasons of a losing record. I will admit to being so ticked off at baseball for striking in 1994 that I stopped watching until 1999. During that time period though, I still sported a Pirates hat that I bought in the summer of 1997. It was an easy time period to keep the team out of my life since it was during my college years. I’d be home for the summer, mow lawns for twelve hours a day then go spend some of my money on some really cheap beer. Few of my friends liked sports and if they did, it was football. I had also convinced myself that it was a boring sport. Of all things that drug me back in, it was fantasy baseball. I hate losing, even if there isn’t money involved. But when my friend Jason invited me into that league in 1999, it changed the way I looked at the sport.

I have been a Pirates since I can remember. My mother was the big baseball supporter in the household while my dad was more of a Steelers guy. Both of them grew up in Pittsburgh. Three of my four grandparents were born in Pittsburgh. The fourth moved there from Penne, Italy when she was fourteen. All of them were invested in the sports products of the ‘Burgh so it was easy to become a fan. We went to Pirates games in the summer when we went to visit the grandparents. We never went to Steelers games as a family. I also went to a lot of games with a friend’s family because they were from Lancaster, PA and were huge Philadelphia Phillies fans. Our present for a good job in little league or for a job well done as an altar boy was of course a trip to a Pirates game.

But as already mentioned, my fandom was derailed by a bunch of idiots in 1994. When I got back into the swing of things in ’99 though, I went all in. I understand better why this sport wasn’t boring. I had acknowledged when I was a kid that pitching was important but I never thought about the cat and mouse game that pitchers and hitters play with each other. I remember arguing with fellow fans in grade school the day after I went to see the Atlanta Braves at the Pirates in the NLCS in 1991, Game 2. Zane Smith was out dueled by Steve Avery. Everyone thought I saw a boring game but I knew I saw two pitchers at their peak shutting down two great offenses. Now though, I understand more of the ideas behind scouting reports, good pitch location and mixing up pitch types. I didn’t realize how much space you needed to cover in the outfield, despite having been to Three Rivers Stadium more times than I can remember. The ability of the current Pirates outfield to cover that much space is incredible and requires more athleticism than I thought as a kid. The outfielders aren’t the only ones devouring tons of space to make plays. I thought it was easy to play infield since there was less space to cover. Even though it may be the case for first and third base, second base and shortstop have gobs of space to cover. Even though a third basemen might not have as much territory, they have the toughest throw to make in very little time to make an out and that’s just on a routine ground ball.

It was time to read the minor league scouting reports, check out the draft and international signings. I knew that the Buffalo Bisons were the Pirates AAA farm team when I was a kid but I couldn’t have told you anyone who was there. These days, I go to Indianapolis Indians to see the next set of prospects. I had a friend move to Indianapolis. Since I was strapped for cash at the time, I crashed at his place to go see the Indians play the Pawtucket Red Sox. I got to see Andrew McCutchen, now an MVP candidate, in his next to last minor league start. I was bummed earlier this year when I thought Gerrit Cole, their No. 1 pick in 2011, was going to pitch the day before they came to Columbus. An extra day of rest helped me out and I got to see Cole in his next to last start in the minors. I was bummed that the Pirates next big time prospect, pitcher Jameson Taillon, didn’t come here to Columbus after he got a bump up from the AA Altoona Curve. Which is another fun part of the process, my hometown now has the Pirates AA team. Much more exciting for me than some other small city in the state or another state. It was a blast last year going to a game with my family when we were all back in Altoona. As for the international signings, I had no idea where the Pirates looked for talent. Now I know that they have the third best facility in the Dominican Republic behind the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox. The Pirates signed Luis Heredia in 2010 as a sixteen year old. I would never had worried about that in high school.

Continue reading

#SippyTimeBeer Review

PhotoGrid_1356313170812

Birra MorettiPremium Lager – The first time I had this beer, I was just starting my studies in Florence, Italy. One of my goals when I went there was to try over one hundred beers. I surpassed my goal but no thanks to the efforts of some of my kin. Moretti is the Budweiser (not the Czech kind) of Italy. It goes down and comes out with no special flavor. I wasn’t paying for this because it was at my office Christmas party. I wouldn’t go out of my way to order this beer, no matter what Italian restuarant you frequent. Order Chianti. You’re welcome.

Bell’s BreweryWinter White Ale – I went to see my friends’ band Australosurfecus on Thursday night at Byrne’s Pub. My window for tasting winter beers is closing with the New Year around the bend. This beer was a mix of the expected from a winter beer (clove) with a twist (the white ale). I really like the crispness that comes from white ales. Bell’s also drops hints of fruits (I think orange and lemon) to help freshen up the beer. It makes it taste more like a refreshing summer beer. If you live in these areas, you can taste this tasty beverage from Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Never forget to check out TheFullPint to see if they agree with my palate about Moretti or Winter White Ale. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I had to lead off with one of the more ridiculous things my room mate has ever said to my girlfriend. Really, he has a whole lot of those but this one happened on Saturday. We were getting ready to go see Jim Norton over at the Funny Bone so I was making some pasta and tomato sauce. If anyone has read this column before, you know it’s a regular practice. As the sauce was cooking, I went up to take a shower leaving her down here to keep things in order. Roomie shows up plowed out of his mind (thanks to his brother in law. The one attached to the baby momma and the only reason he’s living in my basement. We’ll get to that insanity some other time.) and tells my girl that he taught me everything I knew about wine. Evidently he invited me over to his place to take informal classes and was taught how to pick my wines. He then decided to give the tomato sauce a little stir and told her “It wasn’t thick enough.” I was told this while we drove to the Funny Bone and I had quite a hearty laugh. I didn’t ever go over to his place for wine classes. I got most of my wine knowledge when I lived near Tuscan vineyards. We actually had a class on it while I was studying in Florence. As for his critique of my tomato sauce, he was correct but that’s only because it hadn’t cooked the proper length of time yet. What a dolt. Let’s roll.

Two referees in two weeks. What the hell is going on in Vince’s world? Is he that stuck on the NFL’s terrible referees? After a brow beating by CM Punk, Paul Heyman does it too. Vince is stuck on the NFL. Their ratings aren’t in the toilet. My girl doesn’t think the short shorts are GM leg wear. I beg to differ. AJ Lee sends him the ref to the back. I am pretty tired of the employees running things in wrestling. Punk re-shows the video of AJ proposing to him. Punk is being a real creep. That’s a good thing. Paul, you’re not going to trump any of those power couples. Just knock it off. Does the board not watch when sexual harassment is going on?

We get more referee TV time. The WWE keeps forgetting how many wrestlers they have on the roster. AJ promises to fire him while looking out into space. I like her acting but still don’t care for the story line of “Let’s fire every GM every show.” We have a Twitter fight turned into a wrestling match. Dolph Ziggler is taking on Kofi Kingston who is apparently still in a tag team since R Truth comes to the ring with him. Can’t someone take this loss to Ziggler that isn’t in a big tag team? From the tweets, it looks as made up as any bad WWE story. All story, little match before the break.

I want to break my lap top when Criss Angel weighs in on Lil’ Jimmy. Kofi is not helping out the quality of the match. Ziggler seems to be a little out of place on some of these moves too. Kofi is one of the few guys who could get the rise out of the crowd that he did since it’s believable he could win. Zig Zag for the win after a couple of near falls. Jim Ross & Mitchell Cool tell us about John Cena‘s injury. He’s going to give us a live update.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Florence is where I learned to love wine.

Tonight is not a night for a #SippyTimeBeer because I’m making tomato sauce. Any time I cook a sauce or usually when I make any Italian dish, I bust out the wine for the night. Every now and again, event the fellows at Stunt Granny have some level of sophistication. They make a killer wine in Tuscany (Florence’s state) that is called Chianti that is a mix of grapes and is my favorite. I used a California wine called Menage a Trois which is pretty much the same thing since it’s a mix of Zinfandel, Merlot & Cabernet Sauvignon. Good stuff. And remember tomato sauces = red wine and cream sauces = wine white. Time for wrestling. Let’s roll.

Evidently the Rock can only film from the same mountain top. Rock turns down Cena’s offer. Rock is looking really ripped. Glad the WWE finally put up an “Earlier Today” sign. The Rock is teaming with him for the people. The crowd even realizes how anti-climatic this announcement is. What the hell is the director doing with the long shot that doesn’t even show the video? It doesn’t make fun of children who root for Cena. Naturally it’s a threat to Cena too.

CM Punk takes on Mark Henry. Glad they waited a whole week to show the ring being broken. I’m so glad I didn’t order that PPV. I like the look of concern on Punk’s face. Even as much as I love Punk, he better get the “I can see it miles away” interference from Big Show to win. Ricardo assaults Henry to try and get him the DQ. The director fucks up again by not showing Ricardo getting the World’s Strongest Slam. Nice way to stretch out an eventual match.

We are privileged to have the Rock on actual program in two weeks. The Muppets get interrupted by “Excuse Me”. Jack Swagger gets to suck. Kermit & Piggy might pull him out of this. Santino gets in on the act. It’s a train wreck. The guy working the Muppets show more emotion than Swagger. Kelly gets to flirt with Kermit.

During the commercials, Emmitt Smith was hocking some foot insert then I got a Don King commercial. Continue the ridiculousness. The Divas Battle Royal was “hilarious” with the costume run down before the match starts. Alicia Fox wins this thing since she won last week? Nope. Eve wins again. They threw that match together so I can see stretching this thing out. I like the idea of a threesome taking on Beth & Natalya. Christian picks on poor Beaker. Sheamus acts like they’re in the same family.

Continue reading

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

Which level of hell did the wrestlers get to last night?

You wouldn’t believe the pathetic pictures for “Fallout” (they’re all for Fall Out Boy), “Aftermath” (Bomb photos which I wasn’t quite looking for) and “Hell” (Nothing good). So I went “Dante’s Inferno” and that’s what you get. I visited his house when I was in Florence since that is where he grew up (I’ll check on that). He did invent modern Italian with that book since it was still a collection of local dialects. Welcome to factoid day here. Time for wrestling. Let’s roll.

We get started with Randy Orton taking on “What ever happened to?” to Drew McIntyre. Orton whoops on him for a bit then starts to sell. In the mean time, Eric sends me this gem in a text “He’s now being announced as the Apex Predator? No more Viper? At least that nickname didn’t sound like a smooth pervert on Dateline NBC.” I never thought of that name that way but I could see that used for a serial rapist. Orton hits a second RKO on Drew just for shits and giggles. I love a squash match to start Raw. It just dawned on me that they started with a match. Henry shows up afterwards. A brawl ensues so that someone can prove HHH is losing control even though this type of event is a staple in wrestling.

Good on WWE to hype Smackdown and more importantly Big Show. It’d be nice if Orton didn’t spend the year just feuding with Christian and Henry. I told the WWE to shit or get off the pot with Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler and John Morrison. I’m going to say they’re shitting on Morrison. Cole making the argument I just predicted. JR disagreeing with Cole now that King isn’t there. Henry wins in our second consecutive squash match. Oh no, as scary as Henry just was I’m thinking if he starts over using “Hall of Pain” may make him popular. The WWE lulls me to sleep talking about lawsuits brought to you by bores Johnny Wooden Gobbler and Jennifer Hudson’s husband.

Del Rio is still being shoved down our throats as Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Vickie Guerrero, Christian and some Harvard grad.  Alberto is not doing well. Christian does better in 10 seconds of mic time. Cody shows off how to deliver a good promo in a weird cadence. Take note Del Rio. Dolph acquits himself well. Swagger shows why he isn’t going anywhere. The crowd boos Vickie more than anyone else. Otunga trips over his tongue 3 words into his promo. HHH shows up to save us from the terrible TV him and his wife subjected us to. Trips gives us a “Being men” speech. Easy fodder.

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: