The 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas: Day 7 – IWA-MS is bakk, Ric Flair is in debt, Sin Cara is suspended

(Let’s just cut to the chase today: When looking for only 12 stories to summarize the stupidity of an entire calendar year in pro wrestling, a) it simply becomes damn near impossible to do, and b) you start to see trends in the idiocy. So, I’m sorry, but Day 7 of the 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas brings you three tales of retardation, each involving someone we’ve already doted upon during this series: IWA-Mid South, the little engine that shouldn’t; Ric Flair, the million-time world champion without two dimes to hold between his often-naked ass cheeks; and Sin Cara, brought in by new talent developer Triple H and then suspended faster than a botched huracanrana.)

(IWA Mid-South is Bakk: Originally posted July 22, 2011) Extry extry, read all about it: http://iwamidsouth.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=iwamsonlytopics&action=display&thread=6225&page=1

Hilariously, they’ve ethered all of the old board, apparently looking for a “fresh start.” Even more hilariously, the new ownership team is not revealing themselves. I’m placing my money on Ian Grotten and Fim Jannin, personally. – Dusty

(Hey everyone! Let’s help Ric Flair pay off his debt: Originally posted July 21, 2011) Check it out: http://ricflair.com/shop/catalog/

Most notable to you might be that the Big Gold Belt is on sale for $4,550. Most notable to me is that for $750 you can have a live video chat with the man. The Man. I would be willing to put in upwards of five dollars, if someone else wanted to pitch in as well. We could have him talk about how great Stunt Granny is for five minutes. – Dusty

(Sin Cara Suspended: Originally posted July 18, 2011) Well this explains the loss on Smackdown, then the twitching awkward exit during the Money in The Bank match. See, Sin Cara has been suspended for his first WWE Wellness Policy violation.  They don’t release what exactly he failed but the fact he failed the policy is embarrassing. Maybe this turns out to be a Rey Mysterio type of deflection and he’ll produce a prescription but it still tarnishes Sin Cara and he doesn’t have enough polish right now to recover. All the hype, mood lighting and push he has gotten haven’t amounted to anything substantial. Smackdown ratings are in the grave and is soundly panned for being boring. Hopefully this will allow Sin Cara the time to get used to WWE’s rings and a few lessons in handling pressure. -Jeremy

Day 1: Ric Flair still can’t keep his finances straight
Day 2: Bret Hart on Twitter, put the letter “S” in front of the wrong word 
Day 3: IWA-Mid South: Going Out Of Business Since 2002
Day 4: Triple H leading WWE new talent development
Day 5: Chyna to make more porn, eidvo43we.. oops, can’t see, gouged my eyes out
Day 6: Jeff Hardy tases a woman

The 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas: Day 3 – IWA-Mid South: Going Out Of Business Since 2002

(For the 12 days leading up to Christmas, Stunt Granny will relive with you the 12 most head-slapping, dipshitty stories of 2011, the things that made us wonder why we still watch professional wrestling and support some of these dingbats. And the king of these dingbats may also be the “king of the death match;” that is to say, the guy most willing to bash his own skull in with a fluorescent light tube in the parking lot of the Taco Bell where he works, Ian Rotten. Follow the tragic story of Rotten attempting to keep IWA-Mid South afloat. And don’t be ashamed to laugh.)

(Originally posted March 29, 2011) Posted yesterday on the IWA Mid South message board (here’s the whole thread: http://iwamidsouth.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=IWA&action=display&thread=6207&page=1):

Effective immediately, IWA-MS is closing its doors.

Anyone interested in purchasing our ring, sound system, concession items (pizza oven, popcorn maker ect.) or the IWA-MS video library, should call 815-528-0792 for more information.

Thank you all for your years of patronage and support.

So seriously how much does Ian expect to get for what has to be an ancient pizza oven? That thread is something else, by the way. Who the bleep is Billy Gram? Why is he stirring shit on a message board? More importantly, how long until IWA-MS has their big comeback show? My guess is a month. – Dusty

Day 1: Ric Flair still can’t keep his finances straight
Day 2: Bret Hart on Twitter, put the letter “S” in front of the wrong word 

IWA-Mid South Is Bakk!

Extry extry, read all about it: http://iwamidsouth.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=iwamsonlytopics&action=display&thread=6225&page=1

Hilariously, they’ve ethered all of the old board, apparently looking for a “fresh start.” Even more hilariously, the new ownership team is not revealing themselves. I’m placing my money on Ian Grotten and Fim Jannin, personally. – Dusty

IWA-Mid South: Going Out Of Business Since 2002

Posted yesterday on the IWA Mid South message board (here’s the whole thread: http://iwamidsouth.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=IWA&action=display&thread=6207&page=1):

Effective immediately, IWA-MS is closing its doors.

Anyone interested in purchasing our ring, sound system, concession items (pizza oven, popcorn maker ect.) or the IWA-MS video library, should call 815-528-0792 for more information.

Thank you all for your years of patronage and support.

So seriously how much does Ian expect to get for what has to be an ancient pizza oven? That thread is something else, by the way. Who the bleep is Billy Gram? Why is he stirring shit on a message board? More importantly, how long until IWA-MS has their big comeback show? My guess is a month. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Audio #134

Holy cow, grandkids, it’s the Wonder Twins edition of Stunt Granny Audio! Dusty and Eric tag team this bee-eye-itch and, in light of his upcoming devouring of the main-event slot at WrestleMania, discuss the legacy Triple H has created for himself from 1995 to the present day. Why does he latch onto the top slot with such a white-knuckle grip? Does he deserve it? What has he accused others of that he himself has done? And is he a dark shade of brown because he fake tans or because he’s so far up important people’s asses that he chews their breakfast for them? All that, and a rant on Ian Rotten, is just one click away!

Stunt Granny Audio #134

IWA-MS cares about humanity

According to the Wrestling Observer/Figure Four Online site, IWA Mid-South, those wacky hardcore folks from the eastern midwest, are holding two shows this weekend, one of which is a fundraiser for one of their most popular “athletes”:

IWA Mid-South runs Portage, IN on August 16th at Woodland Park and August 17th and Sunday August 17th in Joliet at the Hartman Rec Center. The second night will be a fundraiser to help pay for Mickie Knuckles’ hospital bills. Trevor Murdock is working both shows, and Necro Butcher vs. Too Cold Scorpio takes place Sunday.

It’s good to see an independent company that probably spends more money on light tubes than they bring in on the live gate putting on a show to raise funds to help the chick that beat the ever-loving fuck out of a guy who just wanted to wrestle for the company. If you haven’t seen the video of Mickie Knuckles’ legalized assault and battery on some douchebag (followed by a gutless 6-on-1 attack on the guy), consider yourself a lucky person. Maybe former WWE superstar Trevor Murdoch, who probably used to get a decent paycheck, will appear on a fundraiser for a man who got curbstomped face-first onto the rung of a ladder by some remorseless fat-ass.

(Oooh, what are you gonna do, challenge me to a Fans Bring the Toilet Seats Brawl?) -Eric

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