Wrestlemania XXX: Live Version

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Since we attended Wrestlemania XXX, it was a little tough to do an “Almost Live” review so I posted after each match some thoughts over on our Facebook page. Just to get something up, I’ll expand on these points.

Very good opening match. No idea why it was on the pre-show other than time constraints.

We had no idea why this match got bumped to the pre-show but it’s pretty obvious that the segment after this bumped this match down a notch. The match itself was a lot of fun. The Usos weren’t going to lose considering how recently they won the tag titles. It was good to see Cesaro and Jack Swagger break up but it is a little weird that Cesaro is probably the “We the People” guy now despite the fact that Zeb Colter stuck with Swagger after the post match dust up.

I’m pretty sure my voice will be shot by the end of the night.

We all knew that Hulk Hogan was hosting Wrestlemania at the Silver Dome, brother. I had also seen reports that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was in town. I had no idea that “Stone Cold” Steve Austin was in town so I certainly pooped for him the most. It also helps that between the three, he’s my favorite. What a fun moment it was to see the three biggest stars of the WWF/E in the ring to kick off the big show. Having Hogan stumble over the name of the place is hilarious. R Truth was probably celebrating in the back since he is officially off the hook as the last boob to forget where he was.

Good match, won’t be surprised if people thought the pacing was slow. Good reversals.

We saw the stage hands setting up HHH’s entrance as the above segment was going on so we knew HHH vs Daniel Bryan was coming first. I did like HHH’s entrance set up. He has been know to over do it but the slave girls taking off the cape and him removing his helm had a cool look to it. I would be interested to know the last time that HHH wrestled this early on the card. Even though we couldn’t hear the announcers, it was obvious they were selling Bryan as still injured from his attack since he had a wrap on his left shoulder. I was surprised that Stephanie didn’t play a larger role in the match though she did act great at ring side. The match was paced well to me but as noted, I wouldn’t be surprised if people complained about it. A lot of mat wrestling and reversals so it wasn’t as high paced as most matches are now. HHH is not the new variety of athlete. After Daniel Bryan won, he was still popular.

Hands in the air who think the opening segment went long & caused the Shield match to be that short?

Considering that the New Age Outlaws haven’t been a hit in the ring since their return and Kane has barely wrestled since turning in to Corporate Kane, I’m not exactly arguing with the beat down they received from the Shield but I did want to see Ambrose (I’m enjoying his character more again), Reigns and Rollins in the ring more. Oh well, no big loss. It’s their yard for the future. Now will they break up soon like the Real Americans?

My voice is definitely shot after Cesaro winning the Battle Royal.

Battle Royals suck to start with but when they only announce Sheamus & Big Show, you have no idea who all is in the ring. Considering they had “mystery participants” we figured they’d be announced but they weren’t. When you’re seated in a solid but still far away location, they suck even more. It did provide for a “Holy Shit” moment when Cesaro picked up Big Show and made him the last elimination. I popped big time as I was hoping they wouldn’t do the Andre – Big Show comparison for the first win. Cesaro taking the pin in the first match was a small price to pay for the big win. My voice and Jeremy’s are both shot so an audio post Wrestlemania wasn’t happening.

Is that Sister Abigail? and Not a fan of the outcome even if that’s what I thought would happen.

These comments were obviously in regards to the John Cena vs Bray Wyatt match. It was a night for victories for the young guys but not in this match. Granted, there’s some obvious differences to me. Bray Wyatt hasn’t been around quite a year. John Cena has more mileage left than Big Show, Kane, NAO and HHH. Wyatt can bounce back and has plenty of time to do so. The story of this match also didn’t seem to fit the action in the ring either. The temptation of Jesus, I mean John Cena, didn’t seem to be in the story telling leading up to the match. This match needed more context and you don’t get that live.  I did dig Wyatt’s entrance or else I wouldn’t have talked about “Sister Abigail.”

To say that was unexpected is an understatement. 21-1.

Brock Lesnar provided the biggest shock of the night against the Undertaker. I still don’t fully understand why this decision was made. Lesnar didn’t need the credibility. Jeremy made a good point that no matter who broke the streak, they were going to be hated. The WWE has done their best to make the Beast hated but it has failed. Part of the problem may be the mostly split crowds no matter what the match up. We heard enough HHH chants during the opener, I was openly saying “Let’s go Cena and Cena sucks” and there were Brock fans. This is the best they could do to bring out hate for someone. I still believe that Taker okay-ed it so maybe there’s something in store for tonight. Maybe a retirement for the Undertaker. Brock now going after the WWE Title. Both are possibilities. Jeremy & I cheered when the ref counted three. I’m geeked that I saw history. 21-1.

This might be the first time I’ve said this, but I feel bad for the Divas.

As our good friend Shahid Abdul-Hadi said “first and last time” that I’ll say anything like that. The Divas have been stuck in this spot for a couple of years now. They know they’re the rest match between the two main events. To make matters worse, people were pissed or still in shock from the Undertaker’s loss. I thought it was a creative loss for Naomi who wasn’t going to have her big win for the Divas Title in a fourteen woman match. AJ Lee gets some heat for cheating which should help their feud unless the WWE feels the need to include all of the Total Divas in matches going forward.

 That was an expected ending. Let’s see how the #YesMovement continues.

Daniel Bryan, by far, got the biggest response of the night. Batista and Randy Orton were just window dressing but they provided plenty of good action. I was disappointed that HHH & Stephanie felt compelled to inject themselves into this match but it was a quick and painless dispatching by Bryan helped to minimize that damage. Their appearance does make sense from a story line perspective though. In a night without any NO DQ or similar stipulation matches, this one provided the “Holy Shit!” action moment of the night with the Batista Bomb into the RKO on the tables which Orton paid for when his back landed square on a monitor. The stretcher moment amped the drama but I wasn’t that big of a fan of it. Let him take an Edge Coffee Break (tm, not really) and have the two former members of Evolution duke it out in the ring. Even though Bryan did get the largest response, I feel like his momentum is starting to slow down a little bit which is inevitable for anyone. It’ll be interesting to see where they take him. Orton can complain about not being pinned. Lesnar wanted a title shot at Wrestlemania. Two choices from my perspective. I guess I’ll find out what it is when we head to Raw in about an hour. – Kevin

WrestleMania XXX Preview: WWE Tag Team Championship Fatal 4-Way Match

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Jeremy & Kevin have a special week set up for everyone. After taking a year off of doing match by match previews for Wrestlemania, they’re back at it again this year because they will be attending the event. They start with a match that has already been pushed to the pre-show, the defense of the Tag Team Titles by the Usos against The Real Americans, Rybaxel and Los Matadores. Let’s start with the obvious fault in this show, who predicted that this match would stay on the main card when they recorded over the weekend? What reasoning was given because this match had pre-show written all over it? Don’t worry, Jeremy & Kevin do get around to wondering how the tag team division went from humming along for the first time in years to becoming part of the pre-show especially since the Usos finally got their big win over the New Age Outlaws. Does anyone know how Los Matadores got into this match? For that matter, how did Rybaxel get in it? Who else has noticed that Jack Swagger is winning all of a sudden? Is it just a build up for their break up after Wrestlemania? Your tag team of Jeremy & Kevin end with their predictions for who wins this match. Click on the link below.

Stunt Granny Conversation: The Tag Titles and The Andre the Giant Battle Royal

You are the first Diva ever in Cannes.

You are the first Diva ever in Cannes.

Since I am going to be at Detroit Red Wings vs Columbus Bluejackets game tonight, we decided to give you a little sneak peek into planning at Stunt Granny HQ.

Kevin:  So, are you with me that we could preview UT/Brock, the Divas and Shield vs The Old Guys?

Jeremy:  Divas and shield vs old guys for sure. They need to do something with Brock next week. If not, this build up is absolutely terrible. I would pause on recording that one.

Kevin:  That’s fine. Just so we can knock some of them out of the way this week.

Jeremy:  Right. The tag match has to change. I can’t imagine it is just that lackluster garbage
Kevin:  Do you mean the 6 man match or what crap sandwich the Usos are left with?
Jeremy:  Usos. Just thrown together.
Kevin:  What is their match? They taking on the Real Americans? With 3 baby faces in the match, a heel and a heel manager?
Jeremy:  Rybaxel. Yup……Rybaxel.  Just to make sure you understand. Rybaxel.
Kevin:  Good gravy. I just don’t understand building up the division then tearing it down a month later.
Jeremy:  It is going to get changed. Rybaxel got bitched right after.
Kevin:  I must not have been paying attention. Who do you think should be in the tag match to spice it up? I’d stick with the Real Americans simply because you’ll be featured more in a match than a 20-30 man schmooze.
Jeremy: Yeah Real Americans are a no brainer really. They have nothing going on. The inevitable breakup storyline seems to be cooled just like The Shield’s.
Kevin:  Are the Usos or Rybaxel in the Battle Royal now?
Jeremy:  No, they pulled out. They need to make the Battle Royal worth something.
Kevin:  You get an Andre the Giant statue. How dare you insinuate that they need something more!
Jeremy:  Sigh, last time they had that was WM 4 and Bret hart smashed the winners trophy.
Kevin:  Everyone gets a trophy in sports today! Wrestling isn’t for children. What happened to the gold old days when a battle royal meant challenging for the IC Title.

Jeremy:  Not a bad idea really.
Kevin:  It has struck me as odd that the Big E Langston, the IC Champ, is one of the center pieces of that match. It’s a perfect 4 way match in the making if Cesaro had split off the Real Americans and maybe Roman Reigns had the Shield parted ways. Granted, I was expecting a three way match out of them before their present story popped up.

Jeremy:  Yes it felt like Shield was going triple threat route fo the US title. The battle royal is just a way to get everyone on the shwo but tis time it sounds more important
Kevin:  Complete brain fart that I didn’t think that match would be for the US Title.
Jeremy:  They focused on his lack of defenses and then Ambrose and Reigns getting in to a pissing match about who was better. It seemed obvious.
Kevin:  “The Architect of the Shield” Seth Rollins kept trying to keep them together. I got a bit of a kick when Mitchell Cool said that the powers to be should schedule more matches for Ambrose.
Jeremy:  Convenient excuses for their forgetful booking which is really what this Battle Royal is.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

st_-james-gateAfter starting the Sippy Time Beer column a little more than a year ago, I have wanted to do a special on my visit to the Guinness Brewery way back in 1997. I’m not sure what threw me off last year but this year got tossed out the window by going to see my lady’s niece in a Tae Kwondo competition in Cincinnati on Saturday and by doing house work from 10 AM until 9 PM yesterday. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll still be typing next year so that gives me another chance to relive one of my favorite beer related moments. Let’s roll.

Tonight is going to be crazier than I expected. My buddy Ken came up to watch Raw for a non-wrestling perspective on our OHPA podcast. We will also have a guest host for a regular wrestling podcast. We get started with the #OccupyRaw movement. HHH starts off in the ring. Batista just loves skinny jeans. He is not happy with Trips decision. Randy Orton makes a quick appearance. HHH wonders if DB is in their heads. Dave & Randy argue. Batista wants this to be fixed. HHH flips out on everyone. HHH gets the shot at Mania if he beats Daniel Bryan. I’m pretty sure Eric advocated that. He comes around as often as the Groundhog and he’s just as accurate.

The Real Americans  have to wrestle the Usos again because the tag team division has been decimated recently. Jack Swagger starts against Jimmy. Jey gets to continue the beat down. Cesaro gets in. He gets to be beat upon too. Swagger gets in again. Jimmy gets the luke warm tag. Whisper in the Wind only gets two. We the People are in control at the break. Swagger Bomb gets a  hidden tag by Cesaro.  Swagger gets back in though. Jey and Cesaro come in. Jey gets the better of it. Super Samoan Drop only gets a two count. Swagger saves Cesaro. Swagger gets  taken out. Cesaro super upper cuts Jimmy. Neutralizer for the win. They still have a problem on the big stage, right? I may have to watch WWE Slam City. I don’t think I’ll be able to stick with it.

The Shield and Kane get a review then a promo with each other. Kane wants a united Shield by his side. Can I count on you? Seth Rollins gives a weak answer. Roman Reigns steps up. They act nonplussed after he leaves. Hornswoggle gets interrupted by Bad News Barrett. What is up with Hornswoggle’s hairdo? I love the continued insinuations that Mitchell Cool is an alcoholic comments. Sheamus is sporting a rugby jersey. Glad JBL explained that. (Next Day Note: What a paragraph of nothing happening. The promo was the big segment in this block and it was kind of boring.)

Titus O’Neil is sporting a red goat, hat and tie. Christian is on the head set. Sheamus clotheslines  O’Neil outside. He continues the attack on the outside. Titus finally takes control. Impressive looking overhead slam. Between the announcers and my company, it;s tough to concentrate. O’Neil picks on Hornie. O’Neil tosses Hornie but Sheamus catches him. Hornie is used as a lawn dart. Clubbin. Brogue Kick wins it. O’Neil better get used to losing in the singles division. Sheamus is joining the Andre The Giant Battle Royal. Christian attacks Sheamus. Killswitch on the outside. I’m digging Christian these days.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

hanging-tents-for-rock-climbers-1I’m hoping to get some extra sleep tonight. I’m not feeling the best. Hopefully I’ll get the illness bug out of my system so I don’t have to worry about it at Wrestlemania. When checking for images related to sleeping, it caught my eye when I saw “Sleeping while rock climbing.” That’s where the image above comes from. That’d be fun to do once. I slept in a tree house for my honeymoon so this isn’t that far from the pail.

Hulk Hogan comes down and shills for the WWE Network. We get the first annual 30 Man Andre the Giant Battle for a trophy. Memphonites? John Cena saves us. He shills for Hogan and the match. Cena then joins it. The Wyatts are here. Maybe they’ll save the segment. I dig his promo. Calling himself a god is pretty ironic considering the pride talk. Cena comes back with the jokes about the same subject. Better than normal for his jokes. Cena challenges him to a match at Wrestlemania. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan step onto the apron. Commercial.

Cena is in a match with Rowan. Hogan is a Cena cheerleader. Rowan is using his size to his advantage. Cena wins with a roll up out of the blue. What a weak win. Harper & Rowan pretend like they’re going to go after Cena & Hogan but the Wyatts back away.

Stephanie & HHH come out to the stage. She is really doing well with the smug quality. They are being kind and not firing Daniel Bryan. They want an apology from him though. Short and sweet. The New Age Outlaws come out to do commentary. Very choppy start to the show.

Curtis Axel & Curtis Axel are in the ring. The Usos hit the ring. Then replays of last week. Road Dogg claims that the NAO were under the weather during their loss. U-SO! It’s kind of cool that they’re finisher is the flying tag and Samoan splash combo. Kane talks to the Shield. He wants to know if they’re disposable. Reigns & Rollins are going to take on Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Rollins gives Kane some guff about his losses. The chop continues.

Jack Swagger is taking on Big E Langston again. Zeb Colter & Cesaro are at ring side. Big E wants in on the Battle Royal at Wrestlemania. I’m glad that is over shadowing the match. Belly to Belly suplex gets my attention. Swagger takes out Big E’s knee. Swagger distracts the ref and asks for Cesaro‘s help which doesn’t help. Swagger had said at the start the match that “I’ve got this.” Big E rolls up Swagger for the win. Zeb Colter watches them bicker like school girls. Zeb blows his stack. Swagger & Cesaro shake but Cesaro puts in an extra squeeze.

The Undertaker allows me to catch up a little bit. Paul Heyman shows up before he can say anything. Heyman gives us a break down of winning streaks at Wrestlemania. He asks Taker not to wrestle Brock at Wrestlemania so that everyone can worship the streak and Taker longer. “The fear of the unknown is the greatest of all.” Sure Taker, sounds great in that voice. Rest In Peace. At some point tonight, I’ll have a long paragraph. (Next Day Note: It’s kind of funny how I can complain about the usual 15 minute segment then complain when they change it up. It would have helped if I would have cared about any of these segments. I like a lot of people in these segments but everything was too short.)

Seth Rollins starts against Cody Rhodes. Cody face plants Rollins. Goldust takes over. Downward Spiral by Rollins into the middle turn buckle. Roman Reigns gets his start in the match. Goldust showing off the twisting cross body block. Cody does him one better by doing a spring board cross body. Commercial. Lawler tried to put over a power Samoan Drop by Reigns. I’m not buying it. Samoan Leap drop kick. Reigns starts playing with Goldust. Power slam by Goldust doesn’t quite get the hot tag. Rollins is in to fight a hot tagged Cody. Moonsault gets a two count. Cody with a Muscle Buster.  He stole that from Samoa Joe! (Next Day Note: I can’t believe this isn’t a Twitter beef yet.) Goldust gets speared. Rollins reverses out of the Cross Rhodes. Rollins finishes him off with the buckle bomb & Curb Stomp combo. A good match breaks up the chop even with a commercial.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of WWE Elimination Chamber

19thCenturyMaidsWe get a nice video montage of the participants of the Elimination Chamber. The WWE starts with what I see as a true curtain jerker, Jack Swagger taking on Big E Langston for the Intercontinental Title. By the time I settled in, Swagger had been on the offensive for a decent spell. Big E and Swagger clothes line each other for an opening. Langston still doesn’t get it. Langston gets in some clothesline and a belly to belly suplex. Swagger turned a splash into a spine buster. Langston spears Swagger off the apron through the ropes. Big E getting in on the flying. Swagger tosses Big E off the top rope. Swagger takes him out at the knee. Big E kicks his way out of the Patriot Lock. Botched spot looks terrible. Big E enziguris Swagger out of the Patriot Lock. Big Ending for the win. I feel like they’ve let Big E slide here during the EC build up. Glad to see him get a needed win. Bad New Barrett gets himself a fancy pulpit now. He tries to hype up Russia having more gold medals. I’d take CM Punk in Wrestlemania over Hulk Hogan hosting it.

The New Age Outlaws come out first for their match. Road Dogg does his thing. The Usos should really get this win. Jimmy starts out against Billy Gunn. They take turns exchanging basic moves. Jey gets to take on Road Dogg. James hip tosses Jey into the turn buckles. Gunn gets to continue the beat down. Spinning kick to the face of Road Dogg allows the hot tag to Jimmy. He cleans house and finishes with a Samoan Drop. Road Dogg saves the butt splash. Dogg takes the over the top rope dive. Super kick on Gunn only gets a two. Road Dogg gets popped by Jimmy. Billy Gunn rolls up Jimmy for the win. Just stupid. Bad News Barrett delivers news on our level. He tries to say the fans will turn on Daniel Bryan because he’s not wrestling tonight? No one buys it.

Darren Young comes down because they didn’t book this pay per view very well. Titus O’Neil has a dog on his ass. The crowd wants Lesnar. I don’t blame them. Young gets in some offense with a discus forearm. Young clothes lines both of them out of the ring.  Young clothes lines him from the top rope. O’Neil tosses Young over the turn buckles to the outside. O’Neil tosses Young against the ring post. O’Neil locks in a bear hug. O’Neil catches a flying Young and gives him a back breaker. O’Neil gives Young Eric’s favorite move the abdominal stretch. Young reigns punches on O’Neil.  Neck breaker on the apron only gets Young a two count. Clash of the Titus aka Sky high for the win. Lawler is right, not exactly a resounding win for O’Neil. Bad News Barrett greets us again. Electrical malfunction on his riser. Ha. Nice cover. His material has been terrible tonight.

The Shield comes out first for the six man elimination match. The Wyatt Family ambles out next. How is this awesome before the match starts? A melee starts the match. It settles quickly. Seth Rollins starts against Erick Rowan. Rollins uses his speed to get the upper hand. Roman Reigns takes over for a brief moment. Rollins is back in and gets steam rolled. Luke Harper comes in to start a beat down. Bray Wyatt is up next. Reigns gets a tag. He takes over a little bit. Harper comes in and starts to take a beating. Dean Ambrose finally gets to come in. Harper drop kicks Ambrose. Wyatt takes over. Very back and forth match so far. No one has sold for long. Ambrose gets crushed in the corner with a splash. Rowan loves the knuckles to the temples. Ambrose bites him. Sidewalk slam by Rowan. Rollins gets a tag and uses speed on Harper. Rowan distracts Rollins on the top rope. Rollins lands on his feet off a top rope suplex. Rollins knees Harper in the head. Sidewalk slam on Rollins. Bray back splashes Rollins on the outside. Rowan slams Rollins. Harper hammers Rollins. Wyatt gets booted on a charge. Wyatt slams Rollins. Harper kicks Ambrose in the mouth when he tries to save Rollins. Harper flips Rollins who kicks him in the face. Reigns gets the hot tag. Reigns apron drop kick. Reigns slams down  Rowan. Ambrose starts on some other people. Harper with a suicide dive. Rollins with a flip dive. Reigns and Rowan clothes line each other. Rollins takes apart the Spanish announce table. Wyatt & Harper try to double team him but Ambrose makes the save. Wyatt & Ambrose fight in the crowd. Reigns and Rowan are still legal in the ring. Superman punch only gets two. Rollins starts on Harper but Wyatt makes the save. Wyatt takes apart the regular announce table.  Fall away slam by Rowan tosses Reigns outside. Rollins takes a double urinogi through the Spanish announce table. Reigns is in the ring. The Wyatts surround him. Harper tags in. Splash and big boot combo. Wyatt tags in. Reigns gets out of the Kiss. Superman punch on Rowan then on Wyatt. Spear to Harper. Wyatt rams Reigns. Sister Abigail’s Kiss for the win. Wow, fun stuff.

Christian gets a promo before the Elimination Chamber match. AJ Lee gets to talk about her title reign. Cameron comes out to accept her challenge. Well, at least I can remember the last match. Cameron tosses her pom poms at AJ. Cameron goes for a pair of quick pins. I grabbed a beer. I think AJ had some offense. Cameron turned it around. Sloppy Thesz press by Cameron. AJ dances with the pom poms. Tamina accidently takes out AJ. Tamina grabs AJ’s leg. Cameron goes after Tamina. She ends up getting clothes lined. Tamina gets AJ disqualified. Bad News Barrett still has a none functioning podium. People are going to be fired and expelled from school because of the WWE Network. Santino is playing with toys when Emma comes in. The Great Khali comes. Then Los Matadores. Oh, it’s wrestling Lego’s. I was ready to fast forward the commercials.

Batista gets to have a match. The lady and I are trying to figure out why Batista pointed at his crotch. Alberto Del Rio comes out in a track suit and a neck brace. ADR can’t compete tonight. ADR attacks with a crutch. He focuses on the knee. ADR tosses Batista into the ring post. Cross arm breaker thru the ropes. Del Rio works over the arm. The crowd is crapping all over this match by chanting all kinds of names. Loving the Boo-tista chant. Batista uses the ropes to break a pin. Spear by Batista as ADR got back in the ring. ADR takes back over quickly. Spinebuster by Batista. ADR gets out of the Batista Bomb. Kick to the head only gets a two count. ADR hits the exposed turn buckle. Batista Bomb for the win. It would have really helped if ADR had any credibility now.

John Cena, Christian, Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan are the gentlemen in the pods. Cesaro and Sheamus get to start us off, likely with some hard hitting. Cesaro gets the clubbing as the first big move of the match. Cesaro dodges a charging Sheamus who runs into the post. Low double stomp by Cesaro. He upper cuts Sheamus a lot. Sheamus goes to the top but Cesaro catches him with another upper cut. Flying shoulder tackle. Daniel Bryan is next. Double drop kick. Bryan takes out Cesaro & Sheamus. He kicks both of them. Sheamus kicks Bryan. Cesaro gets suplexed by Bryanb who had Sheamus tied up. Back breaker by Cesaro on Bryan. Cesaro got thrown into the chamber but he turned Bryan around tossed him into the pod. Let’s see if Bryan takes the Edge coffee break. He doesn’t take it. Christian is the next one in. He tosses Sheamus off the top ropes. Christian tosses Bryan shoulder first into the cage. Tornado DDT only gets Christian two on Bryan. Enziguri by Bryan. Christian ducks out of a charge by Bryan. Sheamus looks like he’s going to lawn dart Christian who turns it into a reverse DDT. Cesaro power bombs Christian into a pod then upper cuts him. Cesaro slams into Sheamus. Gut wrench suplex onto the lexan and metal. John Cena is in. Bryan kicks Cena. Cesaro, Christian and Cena turn in a weird catapult move. Cena slams Christian into the chains. Super upper cut by Cesaro only gets a two. Bryan gets reckless and attacks everyone. Cesaro can’t pin Sheamus. Randy Orton comes in and attacks everyone. Orton becomes cornered. Orton gets back in the pod. Sheamus stares at him. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Orton thru the lexan. Everyone saw that coming, right? Cena Five Knuckle Shuffle’s Orton. Cesaro swings Orton. Bryan gives Cesaro a roling German Suplex. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Cena. Christian rolls up Sheamus then tries to pin Cena. Christian gets out of a Celtic Cross by crawling on top of a pod. Orton second rope suplexes Sheamus. Christian splashes Sheamus from the top of the pod for our first elimination. These finishes are going to come fairly quick judging from the time. Running Knee by Bryan on Christian for another pin. The final four look at each other. Cesaro pairs off with Cena. Orton takes on Bryan. Cena and Bryan face off. They trade blows. Cesaro German suplexes Cena who is holding Bryan. Gut wrench into a head scissors. AA onto the lexan. Cena locks in the STF. Cesaro taps. No one is surprised it’s down to these three. The Wyatts darken the arena. They’re in the Chamber. They take out Bryan and then take on Cena. Sister Abigail’s Kiss on Cena. Orton slowly comes out and pins Cena. The Wyatts are waiting as Cena comes out of the Chamber. Kane directs them from ring side.  Bryan knees Kane in the head. Orton tosses him into a pod. Orton sets him up for a big move but Bryan puts him in a tree of woe. Triple low drop kicks. Belly to back suplex from the top rope. Running knee by Bryan but Kane pulls the official out. Kane cracks Bryan. RKO only gets a two count. Small package by Bryan gets a two count. Bryan hulks out. Kane upper cuts him. RKO again for the win. No surprise. They played up him not winning too much. Batista vs Randy Orton is going to get booed out of New Orleans and it’ll be hilarious. I can’t wait to be there. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

frozen-beerSo I didn’t end up getting a new refrigerator until Saturday. I tried to get the old fridge repaired but when that failed, I had to go for the new one. After checking out the appropriate outlet stores, I made a purchase. The delivery came two hours late. Oh The humanity! Ha ha ha. The fridge has been restocked. I’m just glad my beers have finally unfrozen. Luckily none of them got to the state of the beer above. Time to watch some wrestling. Let’s roll.

Betty White and Big Show lead off the show. She’s going to kick ass tonight. (Next Day Note: No one is shocked she didn’t.) HHH then big foots her. How dare he! Doesn’t he know who she is? (Please note the heavy dose of sarcasm.) Before Steph can say anything, Randy Orton comes down. She gets to bring the condescension. Orton apologizes to them. It’s coming from his heart. Ha. Orton wants more TV time on other shows. Daniel Bryan comes out. Steph lays down the law. Bryan wants a match with Kane. He insults Steph & HHH. Randy Orton gives their rebuttal. HHH gives Bryan a rest. He’s getting a well deserved day off. Ha. I agree with JBL. It’s good to give your stars a rest.

Rey Mysterio is teaming with Cody Rhodes & Goldust against the Wyatt Family. Good win for Bray Wyatt on Smackdown. That’s the kind of credibility that would have helped me believe his win against Daniel Bryan. Erick Rowan starts against Rhodes. Goldust gets a quick tag. Luke Harper takes over. I love that Rey Mysterio sliding spot. It’s ridiculous. Goldust is still being beat down after the break. Bray Wyatt comes to continue the offense. Goldust power slams Harper to get Rey into the match. 619 to Harper. Wyatt pulls Rey from a spring board attempt. Rey goes for a 2nd 619 when Bray Wyatt makes a blind tag, I guess? Wyatt turns the run into a Sister Abigail. Kind of cool. Follow the buzzards.

The Shield gets the recap video. Renee Young gets to interview them. She starts with questioning Roman Reigns. Seth Rollins gets a short talk. Dean Ambrose gets questioned about defending the US title. After Reigns questions his manhood, Ambrose makes an open challenge. Vickie Guerrero, The Bellas and Natalya get their time with Betty White get their time until the Road Dogg & Billy Gunn take her away.

Fandango is in the ring with Summer Rae to start us off. He’s taking on Santino Marella with Emma. It seems like a good way to introduce her character which seemed weird to start with. Keeps Santino fresh with someone new to play off. The Miz complains on the head sets again. He’s like Bad News Barrett except slightly different. The circus surrounding the match made me forget one was going on. Fandango with the top rope leg drop for the win. Byron Saxton is back? Why? More faces for the WWE Network? Sheamus points out the obvious that he can still main event Wrestlemania if he wins the Elimination Chamber. Fair enough promo.

Christian is Sheamus’s partner against the Real Americans. They snuck back into the WWE. Antonio Cesaro finally gets some mic time. He’s going to be the WWE Champion. Not much of a promo. Zeb Colter makes Jack Swagger wait on the apron to start the match. Swagger gets an early tag anyway. Christian gets in enough offense to get Sheamus in. I dig the fighting between Cesaro & Sheamus. Cesaro tosses Sheamus outside. Swagger drags down Sheamus. Cesaro takes advantage. We get a break. They’re still going at it. Christian gets the hot tag. Cesaro ends the streak with a super upper cut. Swagger gator rolls him. Swagger bomb followed by the double stomp. Big Swing tosses Christian outside the ring. Christian barely beats the count. Quick pin doesn’t work. Sheamus gets the real hot tag. Swagger is on the end of the ass kicking. No surprise given the present story line. Cesaro makes the save for Swagger. Jack turns the distraction into a Patriot Lock. Christian makes the save. Brogue Kick. Sheamus brings Christian back in to celebrate. John Cena gets Renee Young’s second interview. He’s going to beat Randy Orton in the middle of the ring. Everyone needs to go through him to get to the WWE Championship.

My Avery Brewing Company Karma is quite cold. And tasty. #SippyTimeBeer. I buzz through the Batista bomb Youtube clips and the entrances of both Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio. Ziggler gets to show off early in the match. Fame Asser only gets a two count. Thrust kick to the head ends the match in short order. Wow Dolph, you are out. Cross arm breaker on Ziggler after the match brings out Batista in ring gear. Spear. The Animal tosses Del Rio into the barricade. Batista Bomb thru the announce table.

HHH runs into Batista. HHH wants Batista to keep it in the ring. HHH gives him a match against Del Rio at Elimination Chamber. The third Hall of Fame entrant is Lita. Cool. The New Age Outlaws are still hanging out with Betty White. They’re having tea. She does the cup switch-a-roo. I’m in stitches. (Sarcasm alert.)

The New Age Outlaws are now at ring side. The Usos come out. They are taking on Curtis Axel & Ryback. The Usos are on the attack early. Billy Gunn still gets to play dumb. Woof. The Goldberg chant makes no sense at this point. I’ve been paying more attention to the ramblings of Road Dogg. Jimmy flies over the top ropes and takes out Ryback so that Jey can splash Curtis Axel for the win. Slick finish. Gunn pretends he has to poop. Oh, she put something in it. Even funnier. (You get it by now, right?)

Dean Ambrose is in the ring when Mark Henry answers his challenge. Rollins & Reigns get out of the ring for formal introductions. Ambrose acts defiant. He has to deal with Henry’s power to start. He tries to take advantage of the elbow injury but it doesn’t work. Ambrose got tossed into a ring post. Ambrose takes off his brace. Henry tosses Ambrose outside with his good arm. Break. Ambrose is still working over Henry’s elbow. Ambrose goes for his finisher. Henry pushes him off and gives him a World’s Strongest Slam on the rebound. Seth Rollins interferes to get a DQ. Reigns spears Henry to put him out of the picture. The Wyatts are here. The Shield comes back over the barrier. The Wyatts come closer. The Shield step up to the apron. The Wyatts reply. Then they back out like the heels should do. Bray is saying “Make your move” as he holds his arms out.

My ring time will be "Girl Bye" when Naomi gets back. From zimbio.com

My ring time will be “Girl Bye” when Naomi gets back. From zimbio.com

Bobo Brazil gets the tribute for Black History Month. Ernie Ladd inducted into the WWF Hall of Fame. Brie & Nikki Bella are teaming with Cameron. Nikki starts against AJ Lee. Mitchell Cool acknowledges Naomi’s eye socket injury. I remember the initial reports but never remembered seeing a recovery time frame. Middle rope drop kick gets two for Brie. Aksana is kneeing Brie’s back. She didn’t mess up her spine. Alicia Fox gets her time in the ring. Mitchell Cool says “She’s improved, hasn’t she?” as Cameron botches a move. JBL seconds the point. Woof. DDT on Aksana for the Cameron win. Wow. She’s a complete train wreck that deserves to be a reality show like Total Divas. She’s awful in the ring.

Alexander Rusev is impressive. At least they’ve thrown things off by making him from Bulgaria instead of Russia. Kane comes down to the ring. Kane starts to apologize when Daniel Bryan hits the ring. Bryan drop kicks him over the barrier.

They get Betty White on TV one last time to say she was on. John Cena takes on Randy Orton start with 25 minutes left on my DVR. They start off slow, tipping off to me that they’ll use most of that time. Cena starts a slugging come back shortly after the break. He misses a flying shoulder tackle. Orton lets Cena get back up to the apron. Suplex on the way into the ring. Vicious looking DDT by Orton only gets a  two count. Garvin Stomp. Cena makes the full come back. Five Knuckle Shuffle. Orton back breaker out of the AA. Cena back drops Orton out of the ring. Orton power slam but Orton show boats long enough to cost himself. Tower DDT from the top rope. Orton yells at the crowd. Cena turns an RKO into an STF.  Orton gets to the ropes. Orton backs up to go for the punt. Cena  goes for the AA. RKO by Orton. Cena kicks out. AA but Orton kicks out. I’m thinking this is better than their match at the Rumble. Orton fights out of a Top Rope AA. Cena leg drop to the back of the head. Another AA for the win. Fun stuff. Nothing after it either. Cool. – Kevin

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