Stunt Granny Audio: OHPA 9

The Cave of The Winds in Colorado Springs, CO

The Cave of The Winds in Colorado Springs, CO

Ken & Kevin are here to cover more unfamiliar and familiar territory. They start by talking about the NBA Draft which is on the TV. What does Kevin find peculiar about the NBA Draft? Why does Ken not believe him despite reading it on the TV?  After getting rid of the unfamiliar, they move to the familiar by talking about the World Cup. How is it that the US could lose but still move on to the next round? Could you do that in any other sport? What does Kevin like about the three point win system? Should they institute it in the NHL? How good are the Germans? What is the track record of European teams in South American based World Cups? How good is the Portugese Ronaldo? Ken & Kevin couldn’t get out of World Cup talk by at least talking about Luis Suarez biting Giorgio Chiellini. They move on to more familiar territory by talking about a Japanese game show in which two members of the Japanese World Cup team take on 33 children. How old are the children? Can they stop the National Team members from scoring a goal? What would have happened if one of these guys kicked the ball directly into one of the children? Why did the Olympic fencers have to face adults instead of children? Their final topic of the night is extreme caving. Did Ken pick this topic because Altoona PA is mentioned in the article? How deep is the Cheve cave system in Oaxaca, Mexico? How many entries are there to this space? How much packing is done before even entering the cave? Do they have to come back out of the cave after a certain amount of time? Who’s diet do they follow? How do they communicate with people on the surface? Do you want to wear anti-bacterial underwear? Did Ken forget to address the Altoona story? Kevin didn’t forget about his #SippyTimeBeer of the week. Join them on this expedition through sports and caving when you click the link below!

Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Reviews: Zombie Ass: Toilet of The Dead (2011)

You ever see a movie title and you just have to watch it? This is the scenario I ran in to coming across Zombie Ass: Toilet of The Dead.” By title alone it grabs your attention. Of course this is the exact point where you lose interest. Aftr watching this the only thing I could think of is “What the hell is wrong with the Japanese?” Sure it isn’t fair to lump an entire society or culture in a pile over this but whatever. The movie makes no sense other than the fact there are undead people around. I gave up after that. From what I could gather, in between the screaming women and over emphasizing men, some kids want to remain slim so they go and eat mutated worms out of a stream. Why? Well why not? Then they get sick and one girl uses an outhouse because she has an upset stomach No one can fart because it is bad form or something. Then they start to die one by one as the mutated worms prolapse their anus and attack with sharp points. The entire movies follows through with fart jokes, ass fetish and nonstop idiocy. Even for my ridiculous tastes I had enough of this flick.

Stunt Granny Audio: OHPA 8

Ken & Kevin are back with OHPA 8. They start proceedings by telling people about the video footage that goes along with the show. Please click any relevant links in this very write up if they aren’t above it. Since the guys have good and bad news about Dragonball Z, Ken decides to start with the good news. There is a new trailer for a cartoon movie called Battle of Gods. What was Goku’s defining characteristic? When did he lose it? Is he the correct character to be taking on a new all powerful character? Kevin is all too happy to move along to the bad news portion by addressing Cinema Sins take down of Dragonball Evolution. Why did he suffer through this movie when Ken didn’t? Just how much effort is put into destroying every little plot hole in this movie? Do you need to watch more of this movie than the 22 minutes Cinema Sins uses to light it up? Who makes a guest appearance during this portion of the show to throw Ken & Kevin off? On a comic book related note, feel free to watch the Top 5 Comic Book Super Heroines. They move on to another subject near and dear to their hearts, those wacky Japanese people. What is the latest trend in dining there? How is it different than eating at Kahoots? Would Kevin eat at one of these locations if he went to Japan? Would he be able to eat with robots dancing everywhere? They move on to a subject Kevin wasn’t ready for, Centralia PA. Why does this town only have 12 inhabitants now? And what awful Chevy Chase & Dan Akroyd movie was based on this town? They finally get to a subject they meant to address on the previous show, Tim’s Vermeer. While neither of them has seen the movie, they have read plenty about how the artist Johannes Vermeer produced his paintings. Was it a dick move for him to keep his techniques secret? Why did he not write any instructions on how to do it? Could Ken now reproduce on of his paintings? Not after he had the #SippyTimeBeer of the week. Find out what it is along with the answers to these questions and more when you click on the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio: OHPA 5

Ken and Kevin are back for another week of weird scientific discovery. Ken forwarded Kevin an article and video (above) about octopuses. Of course, he has a hard time remembering whether the articles were about squids or octopus. What factoids about octopus did they not know? Where are their brains located? How does the original Iron Chef factor into this equation? How much extra research did Ken not pass along to Kevin? How long do octopi live? What happens when they have sex? Speaking on both of those matters, how crazy is the life of an antechinus? How do you have a column named Absurd Creature of the Week? How long can one keep that up? How focused are the males on sex? How long could your hosts keep up this pace? What happens to these males as they are having sex? What about the females? How many children do they birth? How many of them can they feed?  Even though both of these creatures are weird, how strange are the Japanese and their game shows? Why would three Olympic fencers take on 50 amateurs? What crazy game shows did Ken’s friend bring back to the States (gasp on video cassette) after he taught in Japan? Why would anyone ever sign up for this game? Back to the fencers though, who wins? Will the guys spoil the finale and not provide the video evidence? Follow this link for the video. Welcome to the wild world of OHPA when you click on the link below.

 

Interview with Nancy Benoit’s sister

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I found this on The2count.com.  I find her to be very well spoken. – Dusty

He did seem to love Nancy very dearly. We know that, unfortunately, their relationship started to get rocky at some point. When did you first get wind that things were turning complicated between them?

I lived in Atlanta and my sister asked me home almost every one of my days off. I want to be clear: Chris was not an abusive husband. But there were, what we call in the industry, though don’t often talk about, “high spots”. She had been there, in that position before, and refused to put up with it at all, especially with Daniel in their home. So I went with her after one of these “incidents” to file an order of protection.

What do you mean by “high spots”?

Yelling, screaming, name calling, shoving, pushing, breaking stuff.

Did Nancy ever mention anything about fearing for her or Daniel’s safety?

Yes, when she first filed for divorce.

In 2003, Nancy filed for divorce citing cruel treatment and an irrevocably broken marriage. She also filed a restraining order against Chris. She later dropped the proceedings as well as the restraining order. Why did she do that?

Because, like with any marriage where there are issues, they made up and wanted to reconcile, especially for Daniel.

It was reported that Daniel suffered from Fragile X syndrome and that he was being given human growth hormones. Was Daniel’s health an issue in Nancy and Chris’ disagreements?

Daniel did not have Fragile X. I have his medical records. He was NOT sick.

Continue reading

Stunt Granny Audio #183

Eric, Kevin and Dusty in action, recording this here audio.

Oh my god, it’s time for another audio! This time it’s a very very special edition of Stunt Granny Audio as Eric, Kevin and Dusty all join forces to navigate through an eventful weekend of wrestling festivities. The trio sets their sights on the Extreme Reunion show and just how sad it was and what an absolute clusterfuck it was. Is Sabu going to die? Is Axl Rotten going to beat him to the punch? Was anybody on the card in actual wrestling shape? Then our heroes turn their attention to WWE’s Extreme Rules PPV. Did the internet spontaneously combust after teh finish to the main event? What in the halibar hell was Ryback doing on that show? Was the show really called Extreme Rules or Over The Legal Blood Alcohol Limit or something else entirely? Then they talk about Raw, which mostly consists of them stalling while Kevin scrolls down the show review in desperate attempt to find something to talk about. Did he find something? You’ll need to listen to find out!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #183

WWE Hops Aboard The A Train

From Figure Four Weakly:

Matt Bloom, who was New Japan’s top foreign star as Giant Bernard, and had formerly wrestled as Prince Albert and A-Train in WWE, is scheduled to return to the promotion after WrestleMania.

The idea given was for him to be the henchman for John Laurinaitis.

First of all, how clever am I with that headline? I am oh so very clever.

Second of all, this is really exciting for me. I am genuinely a big Matt Bloom fan, and I think this is long overdue for WWE to bring him back into the fold. Couple that with the fact that he’s going to be paired with Johnny Ace, who is my favorite act in WWE right now, and I am in pro wres heaven. Exclamation point.

Third of all, Eric Nelson is probbo crying in his Cheerios right now, because he always brought up Bloom to be in his company, if he ever started a wrestling company. Find a new awesome big man, chumpo! – Dusty

EDIT: Oh, so now it’s not going to happen.

On his Twitter, Matt “Albert” Bloom denied reports he had signed with WWE, writing, “Haha! False. Wife just had a baby. I’ll be on next tour.” Bloom, currently working for New Japan, also commented that he had no idea where the story came from.

I know that this morning, I heard from a number of talents that were told he was coming in this April, so we will see.

I should know better than to get excited about anything wrestling related. – Also Dusty

Headlines: Colt Cabana wrestles WWE dark match, Kenny Omega wrestles 9-year-old girl

Make this thing go viral! According to Prowrestling.net, Kenny Omega wrestled a 9-year-old girl for the new Stardom promotion in Japan. This clip is the best thing to happen to wrestling and YouTube since those Chikara or CZW or whatever guys wrestled hypnotized.

In other most excellent news, according to Prowrestling.net, Dr. Colt Cabana wrestled a dark match at last night’s WWE Smackdown tapings. He lost to Wade Barrett. Cabana has been in the news lately, including on the front page of TMZ.com, thanks in part to his friendship with CM Punk and thanks in part to his generally being awesome. (“Nick Bockwinkel has old balls,” anyone?) Now keep in mind there’s always the possibility someone sent in a false report to stir up the hornet’s nest known as the Internet Wrestling Community. But the difference between hornets and the IWC, as it’s known, is that hornets are productive as predators of plant-eating insects, whereas the IWC is full of predators of Funyuns and Mountain Dew. -Eric

Jay Lethal Released By TNA

Fuckin figures.

UPDATE: The news of Jay Lethal’s release came on April 21. According to Wikipedia, Jay Lethal’s birthday is April 21. Burn in hell, TNA.

So Jay Lethal apparently wasn’t good enough for TNA any longer. According to PWInsider via ProWrestling.net, TNA has released the former X-Division champion. Of course he will be better remembered for his stint as a Macho Man tribute act.  So, what to make of this?

Really, it is TNA so who cares but Lethal is a young guy that has plenty of years ahead. He should have been valuable to TNA but he isn’t Eric Young, Rob Terry, Orlando Jordan, Abyss, Crimson or one of those easily confusable jackass security guys.

Releasing Lethal, regardless of if he asked for it or not, speaks to the bigger problem with TNA; they have no clue how to utilize their talent. Sure Lethal will never be a main event player but he is young and has the talent to make for a compelling mid-card act. He could have been a staple of their X-Divison but it is clear they don’t care about that. He could have been a player for the television title but there are no clearly defined rules for that belt anyway so it wouldn’t have mattered actually.

Here is the one idea no one will mention; WWE needs to get him on the next season of Tough Enough. No not developmental or NXT, they need to get him on television in a controlled environment and see if they can mold a personality for him. See if he sticks. If he wins it, great, if not, nothing lost and he can go to ROH or Japan.  -Jeremy

Ric Flair Needs Money

According to numerous sources and posted all over, we are using our old stomping grounds over at PWTorch.com, Ric Flair is already welching on his retirement in favor of big paydays. He is quoted as saying his “retirement” only applies to The United States and Europe.

It’s sad; Flair had probably, the perfect retirement a wrestler could ever ask for. It had real emotion and genuine sentiments from his colleagues. He actually legitimized the retirement of wrestlers by fooling all of us in to believing he was going to stay away from the ring. Now, due to his own ridiculous financial problems he is going to bastardize everything for some big money paydays.

Let’s face it, Flair sucks in the ring now. Shawn carried him in his final match and the idea of continuing in the ring just makes us sad. At least the matches will probably be in Japan and will save the American audience from having to see this. I’d be fun to joke about this but it’s just sad. -Jeremy

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