Stunt Granny Audio Show#248

That's nice. Now when is he leaving?

That’s nice. Now when is he leaving?

Can you believe it’s time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio?! Well, you better believe it, you dummy, because it totally is! This time around, Kevin and Dusty guide you through the latest and greatest happenings in the world of professional wrestling. Jay Lethal had some stuff to say, but really it was just an excuse for everyone to call him an ass goblin and talk about CM Punk. Was Punk really being treated unfairly in the booking? Was it an insult to book him against Triple H at Mania? Would he fit in to the current ROH scene? Or worse, TNA? How does WWE see Punk in the grand scheme of things?

They then move on to talk about Daniel Bryan and how his YES chant is catching fire across the globe. Many sports teams are picking up on it. Bryan could be a breakout superstar in the business because of this whole thing. Also, what is stopping the Miz from going any higher up the card? Dusty makes a bold prediction about the Miz as well. Also, there is discussion about Ethan Carter III in TNA. He was given the opportunity a lot of wrestlers would kill for with this gimmick, but can he carry the weight? All this and a whole lot more nonsense that you’ll have to hear to believe, so hear it already.

#ROH Is The Worst – Part XV

silenceI haven’t been off the ROH beat. I’ve been watching for the past month and a half as the tournament for the ROH World Title has unfolded. I did sneak a peak at the results of the iPPV, which was given out for free because of yet another malfunction, to see who the new ROH World Champ was because I didn’t think it’d be on TV. It was on TV though which gave me the additional two weeks of viewing, um how do I say this, pleasure. Sure, I’ll touch on the negativity in this article but for the majority of this time period, I have liked what I’ve seen.

In the last six weeks, Kevin Kelly has not completely sucked. For whatever reason, he seems more comfortable when Nigel McGuinness is his co-pilot. Wikipedia tells me that he got canned for budget reasons. I’d have to say he doesn’t do well arguing because he was tongue tied when Steve Corino or any heel is around. Of course, I spend most weeks bemoaning Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler not arguing with JBL well enough so maybe it was budget cuts. Kelly has made his fair share of dumb comments, but as an overall whole he has been good in selling the matches and describing the title tournament picture well.

I do like ROH’s style of wrestling since it is an alternative to the WWE and WWE Lite AKA TNA. I have noted my reservations about their multi-finisher set of moves numerous times. That problem hasn’t changed. I wish they’d throw in more basic offense instead of a second finisher. But the thing about all of those finishers is that they do look cool and require quite a bit of athleticism. Some people go over board with trying to make it look complicated but most if not all of the men in this tournament don’t do that.

Speaking of the wrestlers in the tournament, ROH made some smart decisions and whittled it down to the four guys at the top of their roster. Adam Cole against Tommaso Ciampa was one semi-final bout while Michael Elgin against Kevin Steen was the other one. The only people on their roster you could make a case for other than these four are Jay Lethal, who isn’t doing better since dropping the Macho Man gimmick but is still an excellent wrestler, Davey Richards, who stinks and is also in an ongoing feuds with Kyle O’Reilly & Bobby Fish and Rocky Romero & Alex Koslov, and Michael Bennett, who needs to be built up but has the potential.

ROH dedicated the last show, this past week’s, to the conclusion of the tournament which is a great idea. They showed build up for Adam Cole and Michael Elgin. ROH also gave them promo time along with soon to be dethroned champion Jay Briscoe. I’m sure they didn’t show the entire match but they showed a lot of it. The match was the bulk of the show though, another positive. The last of three positives was the fact that they decided to throw the strap on the newly heel Adam Cole. He had been trending in that direction but Cole super kicking Briscoe in the back of the head after Jay had handed over the ROH Title to Cole cemented the turn. Too bad the “smart” ROH crowd ruined the moment by starting to cheer for Cole. Maybe ROH isn’t the problem. ROH’s fans are the worst. – Kevin

#ROH Is The Worst Part VIII

Signs and symptoms

Jay Lethal vs Jimmy Jacobs was a fair enough match. So was Cedric Alexander & Caprice Coleman vs Cliff Compton & Rhett Titus. Both matches were ROH vs SCUM. Both had injured babyfaces (Lethal & Coleman) that made valiant efforts but were still defeated. The idea of a heel getting a victory because of an injury is classic. There comes a problem when ROH executes it though. To borrow an example from Raw and of all unlikely people, HHH, let me point out some differences. Curtis Axel makes his debut on the 20th of May. He ends up challenging HHH because of Paul Heyman’s association with Brock Lesnar. The announcers do a good job of selling HHH’s brutal cage match. This part, ROH got right. Kevin Kelly sells the injury while Steve Corino mocks them for being idiots for wrestling while injured. Curtis Axel ends up knocking HHH silly after he puts up a semblance of fight, but not much one. I was surprised that Bigfoot Levesque put someone over fairly easily. That’s where ROH comes in, they decided to borrow from Bigfoot or John Cena. Jay Lethal came back several times and dominated the match. He only failed to win when his knee buckled after he was going for his second finisher. Lethal was well enough to execute his first finisher! Jacobs should have beaten him much easier. He got made to look weak during the match instead of looking like a heel who took advantage of a baby face’s injury.

Coleman pulled the same routine. He left the match for a long stretch leaving Cedric Alexander to fend for himself. Alexander did a good job of selling after the normal flurry of offense. Coleman was being escorted to the back by referees and EMTs when he came back to ringside to tag the hot tag. Coleman got in entirely too much offense. He ended up losing the match but again, SCUM was made to look so weak by barely beating an injured opponent. ROH is the worst.

On a side note, I was so happy that Steve Corino called out Kevin Kelly for slobbing Kevin Steen’s nob. Corino told him that he didn’t like Steen a month ago. Kelly countered with “He was a great world champion.” Corino ripped that idea since many people were former world champions. Kelly had no logical reason to back Steen so he started to call the match. Corino didn’t hound him but that’s okay. The damage was done. After hearing that though, it make me wonder if our old WWE mole is now working for ROH since I called Kelly out on it a month ago. -Kevin

The Art of Wrestling: ROH Newswire

Eric sent me the ROH Newswire email that he gets and asked whether I’d review these shirts. That’s like the wife asking Eric to stay off Stunt Granny. Or Jeremy being told to watch the latest freak show on TLC. Or Dusty being told Jim Cornette was signing autographs in Fond-du-Lac for free. Of course I’ll do it.

I love the advertisement in the middle of this add which screams “We’re high quality” by announcing that their shirts are only $10 this weekend. In comparison, you need to look at the prices at TNA (A majority of shirts are $19,99 with a high of $24.99) and the WWE (A majority of shirts are $24.99 with a high of $30.99). I’m not going to buy t-shirts from all three companies to compare their quality. I do feel like TNA & the WWE could bring their price down but I’m sure their shirts are of better quality than those from ROH. They could have put a nice spin on it by saying it’s a special for their ten year anniversary all year long.

The next part of this advertisement that bellows “We’re high quality” is by advertising their biggest stars which naturally means they’ve got two ROH shirts that are more generic than anything TNA or the WWE produces. The least they could do is add a hand shake silhouette in the background or even use a modified medal of honor. I don’t quite understand the logo either. The lengthened O underlines the other letters but it doesn’t really do much for the design. It adds flags to the top of R and H but not to the bottom so they didn’t keep the theme going. The O is also another spot that they could use the medal of honor.

The US Medal of Honor

To move on with the star content, they decided that Roderick Strong, The World’s Greatest Tag Team, Jay Lethal and Eddie Edwards should represent them. The only shirt with anyone’s name is Camp Strong which is just a tad ironic. One of my favorite moments on #WatchROH recently is when Nigel McGuinness explained that Strong concentrates on cardio conditioning. Why does the guy have a gut then at 180? Camp Strong needs a new head trainer. The barbell has beers on the end of it to make it a hilarious shirt. Oh, that isn’t funny?  Austin pulled off the beer drinking gimmick. James Storm pulls off the beer drinking gimmick. A little imp can’t pull it off.

Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas have the most boring shirt of them all. Black shirt with grey print and a script below it explaining the acronym. They should have used white to help make the contrast more bold but even that wouldn’t have saved this boring shirt. Jay Lethal and Eddie Edwards shirts are better with the contrasts but the designs are left lacking too. One could argue that the Lethal Injection looks like a syringe but I think they could go more in that direction to make it look more realistic. Instead, it’s a lazy lined fade pattern. WGTT & Lethal’s shirts have something in common that Edwards’s shirt doesn’t, the first two are centered and symmetrical, while Edwards has a lop sided design. As I’ve noted previous Art of Wrestling columns, lop sided is not necessarily bad. In this case though, there’s nothing to offset the design in the lower right hand side of the shirt so it’s bad.

The one last thing I will note about all of these shirts is that none of them are Ring of Honor’s champions. Not the ROH World Champion Kevin Steen. Not the TV Champion Adam Cole. Not their Tag Team Champions in Steve Corino & Jimmy Jacobs. The later two don’t even have a shirt so no link. The first two aren’t any better in quality but they should be pushed more because they’re the top names in the company. ROH is a third rate company. Their t shirts only help to prove it even more than their TV product. -Kevin

#WatchROH – Aired 12 May 2012

I know it’s the wrong border. I don’t care.

Ultramantis Black is joining Nigel McGuinness & Kevin Kelly in the announce booth for the Chikara take over of ROH. They add a pillow ad on before this so I can only hope this is another short show on a PPV night. That’s not a bad plan on their part. Why waste a squash match after a PPV that has yet to be wrestled? Ophidian (Hypnosis dude) and the Ice Creams are teaming together against The Colony. They had separate names but they didn’t show them on the screen so I don’t care. They stressed the heavy Lucha Libre influence including following their rules. Soldier Ant has camouflage on. Green Ant is next in the match. I’m confused. The action is fast. They cut to commercial at a bad time.

They come back with Ricky Reyes hitting the ring for a match against Jay Lethal. What the hell happened to the Chikara match? Kelly calls Lethal’s 20 pound weight advantage negligible. Reyes went on the attack early. The announcers do a good job of selling Reyes’ previous loss on ROH TV against Roderick Strong. Lethal turned it around with a leg lariat. A hand spring back elbow only got a two count. Kelly informs us that we’ll get Border Wars highlights next week. A Roll of the Dice by Reyes got him a two count. Nigel sells ROH as a parity league. Lethal Combination then a Lethal Injection for the win. He took care of Reyes much easier than Tomasso Ciampa taking care of Matt Taven the previous week.

Veda Scott interviewed Davey Richards about his match with Rhino. Richards is confused why Truth Martini would hire a hit man when he has something better in Michael Elgin. Richards said Rhino won’t be able to gore him with a broken ankle. Richards tells Rhino he’ll knock him back into the jungle if he does get a chance to try and gore him. Richards then gives us his best Blue Steel look.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I hope the good citizen’s that come to the site enjoyed the alternative posts with the Mick Foley comedy show and Colin Delaney interview. We can only hope that the later of the two leads to better interviews in the future. I’m also wrapping up ROH from two weeks ago before I start this review. Like a dope, I reviewed the more recent material. It was probably for the best since it was more hacked up matches from Showdown In The Sun. The Briscoes vs the World’s Greatest Tag Team wasn’t very good. ROH has fans and Charlie Haas flipping people off so often that I felt like half of the match was blurred over. Jay Lethal vs Roderick Strong was a good match but I don’t understand Tomasso Ciampa costing Jay Lethal the TV Title since they’re feuding. He screwed himself. No surprise that ROH is doing something dumb again. I’m sure the WWE will do something dumb tonight too. Let’s roll.

The WWE highlights their failures right off the bat. Johnny Wooden GM attacking John Cena because, you know, HHH got booted from the job for losing control. He’s a good character but the WWE’s logic is so fucked. Johnny comes out to no reaction what so ever. Johnny is playing straight up heel.  The crowd finally gets enough energy to boo. At least they cover their ass and say the Board of Director’s gave him a pass. I wish Roger Goodell had attacked one of the draftees. I’m sure he’d still be in his job. Johnny going all in on the heel aspect makes him a worse character. I’m bored. Why did I compliment him at the start? CM Punk comes out to, oh no, the crowd sucks. They barely react to him. It’s going to be a long night. I was going to say come out to wake everyone up. Greensboro blows. Punk tap dances around upsetting Johnny with good verbiage. Punk does get the crowd to react. Lord Tensai is Punk’s opponent tonight. I can’t wait for Punk to finally get a good match out of the big lug.

Johnny bumps into the Big Show back stage and yells at him. Eve Torres shows up like “Vampire” Hortatio Caine. Cody Rhodes comes out first. Mitchell Cool tries to defend Rhodes tables match win as legitimate. I wish Jerry Lawler wouldn’t argue like a 6th grader. Rhodes gets counted out. Eve comes out and orders the Big Show to apologize. Her ass is fantastic. Mitchell Cool, not joking, claims that having to apologize for making fun of Johnny’s voice is a severe consequence. Shot me. The WWE may have topped ROH for stupidity already.

They show replay of R Truth & Kofi Kingston winning because they have lots in common. Aside from their skin color, of course. Vickie Guerrero introduces the free falling Dolph Ziggler. I’m not even sure I want to admit he’s my boy he’s dropping so fast. It’s just Kofi vs Dolph. AW got Rosa, Epico & Primo to dress up. Mason Ryan shows up backstage because matches don’t matter. Ziggler gets the win with some help from Jack Swagger.

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#WatchROH – Aired 28 April 2012

It’s more highlights from Showdown In The Sun. They showed off the Briscoes beating the World’s Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin. Benajmin & Haas attacked the Briscoes after the match so they had to be carried to the back. I’ve bitched about other companies giving away their pay per views. It’s even worse when you only show the pin fall.

Cedric Alexander & Caprice Coleman are in a Proving Ground match against the Briscoes. ROH has too many types of matches. Alexander get the upper hand on Mark early.  Coleman started to get worked over by both Briscoes. Alexander gets a luke warm tag. Alexander gets a two count from a face buster. Coleman got wheel barrowed into the barracade. Alexander kicked out after a combo ending with a Razor’s Edge. Haas & Benajmin low blowed Jay with no one seeing it. Mark takes the pin after a huracanrana & frog splash combo.

Veda Scott interviewed Prince Nana & Barrister Evans along with Truth Martini. Rhino had his contract purchased by Martini. Rhino is going to rip Eddie Edwards in half. Vinny Marseglia was the sacrificial lamb for a debuting Rhino. The best thing I can say about this match is that Rhino is in much better shape than just about any other ECW alumni. Everyone was cheering Rhino. Um, he’s never been a particularly good wrestler. Rhino wins with a Gore.

I think John Cena gets less mic time than Kevin Steen. I’d take his dick jokes over Steen droning on about a horrendous angle any day. Jimmy Jacobs is with him. Kevin Kelly & Jim Cornette were already in the ring. Steen makes a fat joke about Cornette. People in glass houses Mr. Steen, should not throw rocks. He did have a good crack about the flags and theme of Border Wars being so 1987. Davey Richards comes out drag down the quality of this segment even more. Steen claimed that Richards promised to help him but he didn’t. Steen steals the show every time. Richards says he’s holding himself down.  Steen says that Richards threatened to leave ROH multiple times. They were ready to fight but security separates them. Cornette wants them to sign a waiver since the pile driver will be legal for the match. Cornette slipped in a provision that this is Steen’s only shot at the title. The segment was OK when they were yelling at each other. Richards would only threaten to go to Japan because his mic skills aren’t even good enough for TNA.

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#WatchROH – Aired 31 March & 7 April

I’m not going to bother with doing a full review for the show three weeks ago, but I am going to mention the results and little comments.

Tomasso Ciampa is one of the few guys that can cut a promo but they bring out a clown car with him. Jim Cornette is brilliant, right? Kyle O’Reilly took him on in the $25,000 pyramid tournament. Ciampa is no selling way too much in this match. Ciampa won with a knockout via a knee strike to the stomach. Ciampa no sold a dragon sleeper & knee strikes to the head too. Woof. The work isn’t bad but who thought it was smart to book a match this way?

Davey Richards is letting Kyle O’Reilly be himself. Richards isn’t happy without him not observing the code of honor. He says something about his opponent Brian McBride in a Proving Ground match. Dear lord, how many type of matches do you have? Richards picture for his tale of the tape is awful. How does anyone let that slide? Richards squashes McBride. (Edit: Wait, was his name really Brian? Like the soccer player? I don’t care enough to rewind.)

Kevin Steen needs more mic time. He doesn’t really. But we’re getting it. Steen wants more matches. He calls himself out for not wrestling. He doesn’t even come out obnoxious. It comes out stupid. Davey Richards wants to fight him. Steen calls out Cornette for being a bad figure head. Amen.

The Briscoes and World Greatest Tag Team replay. Jay Lethal is mad at Tomasso Ciampa. Jay, why not talk ROH out of dumb stipulations like time limit draws? Do it a couple of times a year at most, not every other month.

Mike Bennett comes down with his clown car. Granted, Maria Kanellis is a nice shiny item from this clown car. Eddie Edwards comes down. Nigel McGuinness mentioned Edwards winning money in a tag team tournament. Jimminy Christmas. Stop with the tournies for money. Please come back on Pro Wrestling Ohio. ROH is going to be the death of me. The ref bites on the worst acting ever from Maria so that Mike Bennett can win. That’s why I don’t miss her, she has no acting ability.

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#WatchROH – Aired 17 & 24 March 2012

They showed Adam Cole pinning Davey Richards. Richards shakes Cole & Eddie Edward’s hands. Kyle O’Reilly refuses to shake. Kevin Steen is going to be Davey Richards personal nightmare until he gets a match against him for the ROH Title. Adam Cole comes out for March Mayhem Eight Man Tournament. Cole had a backstage promo. He’s mad at O’Reilly for not respecting him. He’s going to make O’Reilly respect him. Chris Silvio is his opponent. I’m ready for a squash match. Oh my lord, Kevin Kelly compares Silvio to Jesse Ventura & “Superstar” Billy Graham. I just vomited on my lap top. Kyle O’Reilly does his best to make the announce booth sound even worse. Cole wins a Florida Key which is a criss cross dragon suplex. Not an impressive outing. O’Reilly stormed out of the booth for storyline reasons but it should have been because it was a poorly executed match. O’Reilly challenges Cole to a match at Showdown in the Sun. Cole accepts.

They recap Jimmy Jacobs vs Kevin Steen. Hilarious that Jacobs is rehabbing from being evil in ROH & being evil in PWO. Kelly gets to interview Kevin Steen. He is carrying a tennis racket that has Davey Richards on it. Steen talks about destiny. He’s just as boring as Alberto Del Rio. He will be ROH Champion despite Jim Cornette‘s attempts to kept him away from the title.  Cornette shows up. Cornette tells him that his opponent for Friday night for Showdown in the Sun. El Generico is his opponent. Steen said he won’t be dumb enough to get himself suspended by using the pile driver.

Lance Storm cuts a promo from his gym. He said he isn’t out of shape and will be ready for him. He said Mike Bennett doesn’t have the passion to be in wrestling. They try to make the promo more interesting by shooting him from multiple camera angles. It doesn’t work. Davey Richards knows how tough his three man match will be against Eddie Edwards & Roderick Strong. If he wins that, he takes on Michael Elgin. Richards said if he gets out of that weekend with the title, he’ll have earned it. DemBoys said everyone in this match hates each other. The chicken shit is going to hit the fan in Florida. Charlie Haas tells the Briscoes that they’re dumb. It’s a grudge match so when this match is over, their feud is.

Evidently everyone pays in and wins a pot of money for the March Mayhem. Four matches lead to a four way match. Winner of the four way wins the cash. They love having money on everyone’s mind. We get replay of Jay Lethal versus Tomasso Ciampa. The match went to the time limit. Ciampa attacked Lethal and stole the TV belt. Roderick Strong with Truth Martini takes on Jay Lethal in the first four way match. Counting in English reminded Kevin Kelly of El Generico’s return. I think he’s locked up worst announcer in wrestling with tonight’s showing. Congratulations on unseating Mike Tenay’s several year reign. They go to commercial before much has happened.

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#WatchROH – Aired 25 February 2012

I watched An Idiot Abroad earlier.

For some reason, honor makes me think of Japan. Since Karl Pilkington just went to Mount Fuji on An Idiot Abroad, I figured it’d be a good picture to use. ROH has an internet pay per view going on right now but I’m not going to pay for it. We get recap of Charlie Haas taking on Mark Briscoe from the week. The Young Bucks are going to teach someone else to show the Briscoes what they’ll do to them later. Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander are the example. They worked their way up the food chain. The one guy ended by singing. I don’t know the difference between them. Caprice was the singer. Both teams are pulling out some fun aerial moves. Their characters stink. Pretty easy win for the Young Bucks. Their finisher is a bit much for me. It’s a Rolling Hill, 450 then a moonsault. Tomasso Ciampa is going to take whatever gold Jay Lethal has come March 4th.

DemBoys comes out to talk about the Lady Boys. They going to make the Young Bucks their bitches. Big man is going to beat $5000 out of Truth Martini if they come back to Baltimore. They’re going to put Charlie Haas or Shelton Benjamin in a body bag. I always think that’s stupid. No one is going to die.

We get more Kevin Steen review. Jimmy Jacobs learned one life lesson, evil wins. Jacobs is going to become more evil than Steen. Kevin Steen thinks Jacobs hope is amusing. He said Jacobs corporate man is going to kill him. He wants Jacobs to be evil. Rhett Titus is recovered from knee surgery. They want to prove they’re better than ever by beating Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas. I forget who Titus’s partner is. Truth Martini talks. Roderick Strong wants Jay Lethal to win because he can beat him easier. Strong has a match against Eddie Edwards to determine the number one contender. They are doing a great job of pimping tonight’s event, internet Pay per view that is.

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