Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live & Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

My girlfriend’s present for her birthday was to not watch wrestling tonight. We had a great time eating dinner at Betty’s and then grabbing ice cream at Jeni’s. It’s put me behind the eight ball especially since I was a dumb ass and didn’t pawn this column off on someone else. Because it’s still the most important show in wrestling, despite it’s consistently poor quality, I think we need to cover it. 3 hours and 5 minutes of fun to come starting at midnight. Good thing I pulled a lot of all nighters when I was in Architecture School at Kent State. Let’s roll.

AJ Lee comes out and announces some big matches for the show. I’m plowing thru this episode so entrances are so getting the FF button. CM Punk interrupts her after the first FF of the night. Punk tries to weasel out of the triple threat match but it doesn’t work. John Cena hasn’t been in an opening segment in weeks so he comes out. I just noticed Punk went to the Lemmy look. It works better for HHH. I like recitation of facts. (Sarcasm central). Cena saying the champ doesn’t win in triple threat matches is the biggest gaffe of them all. Then of course Punk feeds AJ for his match of the night so we can close this segment out. Our choices suck. Thanks for showing up Big Show.

Shock of all shocks, Rey Mysterio won the vote. The popular guy won! (I’m getting the feeling this column will be sarcasm heavy. Maybe I’ll stop pointing it out.) Another surprise, nothing happens in the match before the commercial break. I do like the way these guys work together though. Hell of a feud. Oh my lord Lawler, Mitchell Cool makes a ludicrous statement about AJ Lee taking out her wrath on Punk and you sit there like a lump on a log then agree with him, sort of. Disagree with him for fucks sake. Point out that CM Punk interfered in the match to determine the number one contender. It’s not hard. Punk wins with the GTS. Nice. The WWE did pick good opponents for everyone except Big Show. Orton can’t lose this early in his return. Ricardo Rodriguez outshines Alberto Del Rio again. Too bad he can’t wrestle. Or isn’t in shape.

I’m digging the Fight Club remake of Wade Barrett. Fits into his previous stories too. Why is every wrestler dumber than a box of rocks these days? Alberto gets himself in trouble and booked for a match.

Christian gets to job to Alberto. Nice touch of having Del Rio dress and tape on the way to the ring. Sheamus has a head injury. Lawler is even mailing it in with his friends. No personal congratulations for Booker T yet. Sent him a text at least. Ricardo distracts the ref, Alberto nails Christian with the boot for the win. Ricardo left the keys for Sheamus to steal the car. I can’t wait for the visit around San Antonio. (Last hint of sarcasm.) Ha.

Big Show against Randy Orton kicks off the 9 o’clock segment. So, what’s the old mid-main event? Or is the Cena match in that slot with an unknown main event? Stay tuned for too long. Double count out. Just like any decent fan would have expected. Big Show misses the WMD which allows the Viper to strike. Yep, I see that guy winning the title at the next pay per view. (I fucking told you no more hints.)

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#Wrestlemania Weekend – Cbus Edition

Just in case you're confused like Mr. Maes, that is my foot. Sleeping from left to right, Jer, Kia and Cayenne.

I thought we’d get more work done for the site with Jeremy & I in the same spot. We didn’t have to worry about taking the MARTA and using at least thirty minutes of time to do so. We weren’t going to have to hunt for food like we did in Atlanta after the hour of 8:00 PM. We ended up finding out that showing off a cool city that you’re familiar with takes up more time than going to CNN, the World of Coca-Cola and the Georgia Aquarium. The last time Jeremy was here was four or five years ago. I was limited by my ex-wife who didn’t like to try new places. I’ve been liberated and wanted to show it off to the first friend that has been to Columbus who hadn’t lived here before. We talked plenty of wrestling while we were out so I’m going to give you a preview of where you’d go if you stopped in to visit along with some additional thoughts on wrestling we talked about.

Friday Gallo’s Tap Room – They offer a number of microbrewery beers on tap so it has Sippy Time Beer Award written all over it. On top of that, they’ve got some seriously delicious bar food. The menu isn’t that long (check the link) but it’s high quality bar food. Sippy Time Beer Choice – Columbus Brewing  Company India Pale Ale. Wrestling thoughts: Our plan for this evening was to do a round up this evening. We didn’t take down many beers, but after an eight hour drive for him and the woman and a full day of work & week for yours truly led to a sleepy crew. There wasn’t much to update than the players in Team Johnny vs Team Teddy. It wouldn’t have changed my pick for Team Johnny. I’ll hope that his character does as well as he did on Monday. And also takes up as much air time. I have a doubt on the later because we’re not going to have a Rock farewell speech or a appearance by Brock Lesnar after a lengthy John Cena promo.

SaturdayLa Casita & Bob’s Bar – The former is the finest of three Mexican establishments in my neighborhood and the only place that Jeremy had been to previously. We took down some good grub and a pitcher of tasty margaritas. At Bob’s Bar, they serve over two hundred beers with thirty six of them coming off a tap. Sippy Time Beer Choice – Left Handed Brewing Company – Smoke Jumper, an Imperial Porter. Wrestling Thoughts: I was expecting to watch the Hall of Fame ceremonies this night. It wasn’t until Monday Night Raw that it was noted the show would be aired on Monday. I still haven’t watched it. I’m sure it’ll be fun but I wish more of inductions were in there. We were at the event in Atlanta and it last approximately three hours. An hour of TV will not do the ceremony justice.

SundayBabushka’s, homemade meatballs & a Great Lakes Variety Pack – Babushka’s is a Polish joint that opened up about a year ago. I hadn’t had the chance to eat there yet so I figured the Pollack in Jeremy would be a good excuse to try it. It was some good food so long as you like cabbage or pierogies. After getting fat and sassy, we took a nice walk then grabbed the variety pack on our way back to my place. I still have plenty of meatballs left. Good thing I have a large freezer. I have five quarts of tomato sauce in there too. It’s a big undertaking and quite delicious. The twelve pack had Edmund Fitzgerald, Dortmunder Gold and Commodore Perry but my Sippy Time Beer Choice – Eliot Ness. It’s one of my top five favorite beers. I know I’ve pimped it before but I’ll repeat myself. Wrestling Thoughts: The jokes that didn’t make it into the blog were too many because context is everything. I hope you had a good crew to watch. It would have been nice if my neighbors were wrestling fans but they were a nice addition to the crew. After having re-watched the whole thing, I still think this show is in the B-/C+ area. Good but not great, it would have been fun to get Dusty on audio with his take on Undertaker versus HHH and the card as a whole but my week hasn’t been any less busy without Jeremy & his woman around. Hence this going up on Friday.

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