Stunt Granny Audio #226

Hulk Hogan and Iron Sheik going at it.

Hulk Hogan and Iron Sheik going at it.

It must be that time of the week again. The time when Kevin and Dusty grace all you lovely people with their magical mystical presence. This week our heroes start things off by discussing TNA’s continued roster purge. This week the victims are Luke Gallows and Tara. Gallows’ exit mystifies them but they agree both Tara and Jeremy Maes have seen better days since their Heat stint came and went. They move on to talking about WWE’s latest Monday Night Raw. It was an attack heavy show as the Wyatt Family and The Shield both joined in on all the reindeer games. Just what are the names of the Wyatt family members? Does Mitchell Cool even know? How long is it going to take Mark Henry to actually retire? Dusty sidetracks things twice, first by having a terrible cellular phone and second by asking Kevin if there was anyone who could have replaced Hogan in the big push spot in 1984. They also talk about how there is Sum Tin Wong with journalistic fact checking these days, and a whole lot more, so you need to listen before you spontaneously combust.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #226

Dusty’s Blog: The Rain, Michael Cole, And Other Things

I figure if I post their picture, you might be able to get the reference. Sledgehammer of reference.

The rain: Man, it sure was raining a lot this past weekend. If you get a chance, ask Jeremy Maes about it. Better still, ask him where he was while he was being rained upon. You know, for conversation sake.

Michael Cole: So it occurred to me watching Summer Slam last night that Michael Cole would make the perfect manager. I’m always complaining about the lack of managers in wrestling these days (the dancing, no penis buffoon Runjin Singh does not count, btw) and I think that Michael Cole transitioning into a managerial role would be the perfect WWE way to make managers digestable again to the viewing public.

Cole has been awesome lately in his ongoing saga anti-Bryan Danielson and pro-The Miz. I know that this isn’t exactly a new concept since I was championing Cole to be the mouthpiece of Nexus back when that angle first started, but I’m going to beat the horse until it’s dead, because it’s a legit good idea.

The problem is that who would replace Cole as commentator on Raw? Sure, you could beg Jim Ross to come back, but a more likely scenario would be for them to place Matt Striker in there full-time opposite Jerry Lawler, an idea which gives me severe gas because Striker is fucking terrible and doesn’t deserve to be bagging old lady’s groceries at Piggly Wiggly, let alone announcing the biggest wrestling show on television. Obviously, more thought would have to go into this.

Speaking of heartburn: The finish to the Team WWE vs. Team Nexus match gave me a triple bypass. What I would have done is, after Jericho and Edge get eliminated, have them lay out Cena on the floor. Cena gets rolled back in, gets the bejeezus kicked out of him by the three remaining Nexus members, and then have him get counted out. That way, he gets eliminated in a way where he keep every last shred of credibility he has, since that’s apparently so important to him, while he still gets eliminated, which was the best thing to do for business.

So that would leave Danielson against Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel and Wade Barrett. From there, you have Danielson eliminate Slater and Gabriel, before losing to Barrett because he’s tired and the odds were against him. That way, Cena stays strong since he has a reasonable excuse for getting eliminated, Danielson gets built up to the max and has a plausible excuse for getting eliminated, and Barrett looks super strong by getting a PPV main event win. So then, Cena can seek revenge on Jericho and Edge, and Danielson can go after Barrett.

Meanwhile, it’s about time to pare the Nexus group down to four or five members. Seven is too many for a group of wrestlers, and I’m sure you can think of at least two pieces of dead weight in that group anyway. Slim them down to five members and keep them strong going into the Survivor Series, which should be the absolute next time they all team up together in a match. WWE likes having seven on seven and six on six matches or whatever, but that needs to stop immediately. It is old and it is dead.

Other things: TNA has some of the ugliest fans in wrestling history. I know I’m no sunshine and lollipops over here, but I’m also not parking myself in the front row facing the hard camera every single week on national television, you know? Enough is enough here.

Shannon Moore is perhaps the worst wrestler in the history of professional wrestling.

Melina is certainly the worst babyface ever.

Bring back Sid already! – Dusty

Introducing the Stunt Granny Hall of Fame!

It's a celebration, bitches!

This day marks the second anniversary of the start up of ye olde Stunt Granny. To celebrate such a momentous occasion, I am pleased to announce the official Stunt Granny Hall of Fame opens today! There will be four official wings therein:

Serious wrestlers: This wing celebrates the lineage that dates back to Frank Gotch and George Hackenschmidt. We’re talking about good workers, high flyers, brawlers, whatever. Serious money drawing, money making talent.

Fun wrestlers: We here at Stunt Granny are big fans of comedy in wrestling, as long as it is done right. For example, a fat white man dancing poorly while claiming to be from deepest, darkest Africa will beat a midget transvestite any day of the week.

Angles: We’re talking about memorable, money drawing angles that inspired you to buy the next PPV, go to the next show in your area, watch the next television show on your favorite cable network, etc. Abortions and miscarriages need not apply.

Matches: We at Stunt Granny don’t give two scoops of Kellogg’s Raisin Fuck if a match was four stars or only three and a quarter stars or whatever. We just know what we like to watch. These are the matches we wear out our Beta, VHS and DVD players to.

Each one of the five of us – me, Jeremy Maes, Eric Nelson, Kevin DiFrango, Jordan Smith – nominated five people or things per category. And then we voted on them. A nominee needed three or more “yes” votes in order to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. What follows will be four separate posts, one for each wing, listing the first annual inductees into each wing of the Hall. Before I get to that, I’d like to remind you that the Stunt Granny Hall of Fame is brought to you by Red Baron frozen pizza, which just so happens to be the best frozen pizza that could possibly happen. Perhaps you should enjoy a slice today, while reading about the inductees. – Dusty

Best of 2009- Jeremy Edition

Best Promotion:

WWE. This wasn’t nearly as easy to choose as I first thought. Monday Night raw is a diarrhea diaper. ECW is akin to your parents in the nursing home. You go see them only because you feel obligated. Then there is Smackdown; the best wrestling show in the world. So 1.5 out of 3 isn’t so bad. Not like TNA’s zero batting average for their product.

Runners up:

ROH: Cary Silkin correctly booted Gabe Sapolsky and eventually brought in Jim Cornette to “hang around: In the meantime the promotion lost talent left and right but it is still a good promotion. It found its legs after a few months of being lost but nowhere near the train wreck that comes in third.

TNA: By default they are third. I can’t consider Lucha Libre since I don’t understand Spanish and that shit looks choreographed beyond belief.

Best Injury:

Mickie James’ implant busting. Now, Mickie James is at the top of my list of women’s wrestlers I would sleep with despite the fact they may have an incurable STD. I love this injury because it gives me spank material thinking about how she would need to massage her breasts to soften up the new implant. Even if that isn’t how it works its real to me. Excuse me, be back in 3 minutes. Oh and this story may not even be true but I don’t care.

Continue reading

Stunt Granny Audio #46

Bring Da Noise!

Bring Da Noise!

Well, we are back again and bringing more noise in Stunt Granny Audio #46. This time around the boys, Kevin and Jeremy, discuss all manner of WWE related business. They concentrate on the differences between Smackdown and Raw mainly and how one show can be far superior to the other. They delve a tad in to the Trump mess and how none of it made a lick of sense and not just to them. They also talk about the hierarchy of both shows and how one clearly has the business in mind instead of personal gains. There is also a discussion of just why Triple H got so close to Randy Orton at the end of Raw and how this could happen on a PG television show. There is more but like we say; you gotta listen to hear it all.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #46

Stunt Grany Audio #45

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Look out grandma; a historic day is upon us. For the first time in over a month Stunt Granny presents an audio show. It’s not just any audio show though, it’s the mother fuckin Audio Experience. Yeah that’s right, Dusty and Jeremy have stolen the name and are putting voices on the interweb in a digital presentation once again. This time around the guys talk about all the radical changes in WWE over the last two weeks. It is a quite the amazing story as people are dropping like flies and Lazarus’ are waking from the dead. The even manage to discuss The Happening as Jeremy loses his concentration watching that pile of garbage. So join in the fun, you know you want it!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #45

Stunt Granny Audio #29

tuning-woman2Is it 2012? Is the world ending? Well you could have fooled us. Stunt Granny is proud, well, as proud as we can be, to present Stunt Granny Audio #29 featuring long time cohorts Dusty and Jeremy. The guys reunite for the first time since forever or the last time they did one of these, and run down all of the big news stories. At least that is what we intended to do but we shall see about that.  They talk about MyNetwork TV imploding, which allows Jeremy the chance to brag about how this deal keeps getting worse. They also talk about TNA, only to irritate Dusty. They even manage to talk about some other wrestling stuff much in the vein of their old show. You know the one. So stick it out and give it a listen.

Stunt Grany Audio #29

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