The Matt Hardy Confessional

I have a confession: I love, love, Matt Hardy’s videos on Youtube. I actually subscribe to his Youtube channel. It’s not that they are any good, quite the opposite actually. They are low brow, low budget and embarrassing for the viewer as well as its creator. Of course, Matt Hardy is delusional and probably believes these are the greatest vessels to get himself over so I am only half right.

What’s worse is that I routinely catch these new videos at work. So I have coworkers, who do not know me from the next guy repeatedly walking by as I watch videos of some fat redneck pretending to be a wrestler.  I can’t muster the energy to explain that he is an actual wrestler. It is easier to take my lumps and solidify my already poor standing in the company.

Matt Hardy’s videos are proof that retards are not photogenic. It does help that he is delusional and believes these are actually effective in getting himself over. The real victim in most of the recent video posts is poor Drew McIntyre. The guy didn’t ask to be in an angle with a developmentally challenged fat kid and now he is saddled being the invisible source of his tard rage. Drew McIntyre may be a charisma less vacant vessel of a wrestler but he doesn’t deserve this.

It’s like being an only child for five years, then your parents accidentally squeeze out a mongoloid; now you’re left holding the bag the rest of your life, but you didn’t ask for the retarded brother!

“Look I can watch myself toot on the bzzzz box.” (Licks television)

Ok, so maybe it isn’t that bad but still. These are the funniest one to six minutes you can spend on Youtube. In an effort of good faith I am posting my five favorite links. Number one is my very favorite, hence the number one, but it embodies everything that is wrong and gross about Matt Hardy.

So enjoy the top five and make sure and subscribe to MATTHARDYBRAND. You will derive hours of enjoyment. -Jeremy


#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

A Quick Word on WWE Releases

unemployment1

I coulda been somebody.

WWE has every right to do what they think is best with their talent roster, so let’s get that out there right away. Anyone who works fro a major corporation has had to deal with layoffs of some sort, and WWE routinely dismisses their independent contractors as they see fit. It is the first rule of business: When profits are down, cut the work force and overburden the remaining employees.

The list of wrestlers released on the last four days, specifically Elijah Burke, Kenny Doane and Paul London, does not affect WWE in any capacity currently. Yes, there is going to be the usual outcry from the diehard fans that these men should not have been released, and this is not being disputed by yours truly. Releasing these three men though is setting the stage for an eventual downturn in business that WWE cannot afford.

No, none of these men were top stars and had rarely been on television in the last few months. What they were, though, was an opportunity for WWE to push different wrestlers instead of the same old same old that is leading their downturn in business. This is not as delusional as it reads. Look at who WWE has kept on their roster despite there being no clear reason for retaining their employment.

Instead of getting rid of young wrestlers who do not have the stain of age, failure or the stale sense of the same old same old to them, they need to take a drastic change and release from the seniority side down. Here is a list of current WWE’s independent contractors whose time has come and gone and should be first on any list for future cuts. This is no groundbreaking list but everyone on this list has no potential upside remaining or in some cases never did.

Continue reading

Redesigning The TNA Knockouts

Pass m the torch, if you will.

Pass me the torch, if you will.

 TNA could find themselves in a difficult position coming up very soon. The contracts of some of their major stars are expiring, and they need to find the money to sign all of them. They also need to treat the negotiations as serious as WWE, as evidenced by Gail Kim’s departure. Of the contracts that need to be negotiated, the most important is that of Awesome/Astonishing Kong.

TNA can take some credit in turning Kong into a legitimate draw, and the television ratings back this up. Her segments are almost always the highest rated on the show no matter what timeslot she is placed in.

She had her foil in Gail Kim for much of this run, and the argument can be made they played off each other so well it made for real, compelling television. An argument could also be made though that she is the draw as her other segments, most notably her $25,000 challenge, drew very well. It also helped create a fledgling new star in Taylor Wilde.

The influence of Kong in TNA’s women division has been significant. Sure, she shares some of the praise with Gail Kim, but a hero cannot be great without a great threat. Looking at the landscape of women’s wrestling, there was no one that fit the mold of a monster heel. This is not to say there are not a bunch of legitimate female athletes out there, but none have quite the same level of intimidation as Kong.

If TNA negotiates with Kong in the same fashion as they did with Gail Kim, we will be seeing Kong in WWE. WWE may not know exactly how to treat her – and hopefully it will not be on the same level as a Kamala or Umaga – but they will offer her more money and much more exposure. They will offer more than TNA not just because they are the big bully, but that they can see a special talent and will grab it.

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: