Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I'm not sure if they've watermarked this well enough.

I’m not sure if they’ve watermarked this well enough.

That’s the story around here, it’s fucking cold. I practically had to drag my boxer Cayenne out. Then my knuckle head of a mutt Kia couldn’t get enough even though she knows her hips (because of dysplasia) are going to give out. At least I didn’t have to carry her back inside like a football. Time for some wrestling that’s probably at a locale that’s a tad bit warmer. Let’s roll.

So wrong to have the Old School WWF symbol without the F flags on them. May as well start with Ric Flair considering he was the only man teased for this show. I didn’t see any spoilers in the early AM when I looked at the wrestling sites. That’s right, Baltimore. It’ll be plenty cold there soon enough. I guess he’s our host? Randy Orton comes out. At least Flair did poorly enough that he can follow. Randy wants the Authority to over turn their decision. Randy lays out a platter for Flair to jump on, which he does. Orton goes the intimidation route. Flair pulling out the stops now that he’s dressing down Orton. John Cena comes out to defend Ric Flair’s honor. Cena going hype man. “If you’re feeling froggy, jump” is definitely an “Old School” line. I wanted to go to the Royal Rumble since it’s in Pittsburgh but I slept on getting tickets. When I finally checked Ticketmaster, they only had floor seats left. Too damn expensive. Then I checked Stub Hub, people were selling the cheap seats for 3 times the price. Definitely too expensive. They pimp the WWE App so we can know Jerry Lawler‘s health. That’s a scum bag move even if they told us it wasn’t part of his heart condition. We get a recap on Daniel Bryan.

Daniel Bryan makes his Wyatt Family debut with Luke Harper & Erick Rowan taking on Rey Mysterio & the Usos. I listen to JBL & Mitchell Cool for this entrance. JBL has the right question, how good is this group now? I dig the change in attire even if I saw that picture of him last night. Not too deep into the match, Bryan faces off against Rey Mysterio. Rey tosses him out of the ring quickly for a break. Rowan is working over Jey Uso. He’s (Next Day Edit: Who do you mean, jackass? I was referring to Bryan. I was wondering if he’d pull out some new moves with the new gimmick.) not busting out any new offense, yet. Rey knows how to work with big men so well. Jimmy misses a top rope splash. Mike Chioda in the middle of a Wyatt Family show down. Harper gets rolled up for the loss. Interesting way to start this angle. You can go with a sabotage from within angle for Bryan.

Batista has entered the Royal Rumble. Brad Maddox tells someone that Damien Sandow is having a rematch against the Great Khali. Ahh, three Hall of Famers actually. Kane is wondering why Maddox is talking to the Authority behind his back. Kane reads some of the rules for conduct. These two could be a good combo similar to Kane & Maddox. Fun segment. Big E Langston runs into Nikolai Volkoff singing and the Million Dollar Man with Aksana and finally IRS. I’d take that pay day if I were them too.

Big E Langston is taking on Curtis Axel with Ryback on the head set. Ryback is cracking me up. Langston & Axel brawl in front of the announce desk but nothing comes of it. Big Ending. No surprise. Ryback steals the scene for me. Perfect attitude for his character. Pretty meat head with lots of cockiness.

jocks-Revenge of the Nerds“Rowdy” Roddy Piper is going to interview The Shield. They interrupt his intro. Dean Ambrose stares him down. Then drops a lame age joke. The only person that can match him on the mic is CM Punk. Ambrose gets worked up. Seth Rollins jumps in to calm down Ambrose. Rollins calls Ambrose a better US Champ than Piper. Roddy cracks me up when he grabs Reigns cheek. Reigns threatens to break him in half. CM Punk comes out for the save with the New Age Outlaws. I’d be fine with this turning into a match. No dice with the singles match though.

I haven’t missed Sin Cara or Alberto Del Rio. So of course they’re having a match against each other again. Twice wasn’t quite enough. I’m fine with changing Sin Caras but I really wish they’d change his lighting to normal. Sin Cara misses the Swanton. Kick to the head for the Del Rio win. Of course he wants a piece of Batista. Ugh, are they really giving this clown his twentieth chance? The WWE gives some random people way more chances than other people.

Daniel Bryan wants to be transformed. He can teach them a lesson too about tag team wrestling. Bray Wyatt shows up. He informs Bryan they will be teaming together. “We The People” is a popular chant for a heel team. Jack Swagger starts off against Goldust. Antonio Cesaro gets an atomic drop. Cody Rhodes takes over. Goldust ends up taking the beating for their team. Not for long as Cody tags in. Disaster Kick to Jack Swagger gets him off the apron. Cesaro is legal and whacks Rhodes for the break. Swagger is bear hugging Rhodes. I need to download the App for the Cesaro Swing. You just showed it to me. (Next Day Edit: I know they’re trying to bring you in with this footage but they do it for almost every match which means I won’t download it. I don’t care about an inane interview from Heath Slater.) Cool & JBL try to sell the Real Americans but I can’t buy because of how often they lose. Patriot Lock on Rhodes. He almost gets to the ropes. Goldust kicks Swagger in the pie hole to break it up. Goldust gets the hot tag. He cleaned house something fierce. The Curtain Call for the win. I didn’t figure the Real Americans would win even in a non-title match. DDP meets up with Booker T. DDP Yoga gets shilled. Ron Simmons comes in. Damn. Not the best spot to deliver that one but I love me some Simmons.

Runjin Singh is with the Great Khali for some reason. Damien Sandow is his opponent. Sargent Slaughter gets the assignment. I was hoping for Arn Anderson. JBL agrees with me. Mitchell Cool notes Singh’s presence. I’m not sure why Cool called JBL on the microwave comment. You’re getting hit by something large and heavy like Khali’s hand. Sandow had his leg on the rope when Khali pins him. Sarge locks in the Cobra Clutch on an angry Sandow. Sarge dances with Khali. People love it. (Next Day Edit: It just dawned on me that Damien Sandow may be in the midst of his second losing streak gimmick. And Alberto Del Rio gets to call out Batista. Go figure.)

Brock Lesnar comes out with Paul Heyman, who naturally does the introduction. Heyman was just money in that promo. It’s hard to justify writing about it because of Heyman’s delivery. Mark Henry comes out again. Henry has his “arm broken.” I’m still bummed that’s not a longer feud. Big Show comes when I start to FF. Lesnar backs down after taunting Big Show. I’m okay with setting up this feud. Heyman tries for the distraction but Show catches Lesnar and tosses him across the ring. Lesnar sells a leg injury. Lesnar landed pretty hard on his shoulder. Looked like he over rotated.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

New-years-eve-lake-garda-1Preparations for for a New Year’s Eve Party have me starting super late. I did see earlier today that this Raw is taped. I did not click on the “BIG spoiler” post on Prowrestling.net however so this is all new to me. Let’s roll.

I’m going to love FFing thru ring entrances starting with CM Punk‘s. Although, I can’t FF when I’m typing my brilliant thoughts. Ha. Punk did have an up and down year. Thank you Shield for playing me some more catch up. I like super cocky Dean Ambrose. Dean does seem to be getting the short end of the stick recently. My forecasts of doom for Rollins may be wrong. I still say his ceiling is Dolph Ziggler. Punk using divide and conquer on the Shield well. Roman Reigns not as pissed at Rollins as he is at Ambrose. Brad Maddox is back! Yeah. I missed his smarmy ass. He officially gives us Seth Rollins vs CM Punk. Commercial.

What weird shit is going on with JBL complaining about the rope break? Mitchell Cool defending it like a heel announcer. Jerry Lawler making the most sense. They stay in first gear before the next break. Punk rolls out of the way of a back splash. Punk nails a leg lariat. Buckle Bomb by Rollins only gets him a two count. I do like the cockiness Rollins has shown against Cena & Punk attempting their own moves on them. Slick spot with Punk rolling thru a cross body into an Anaconda Vice. The Shield causing distractions but it costs Rollins. He yells at Ambrose. Rollins whacks Punk before the suicide dive. Sling shot turned into a GTS for the win. Another slick spot. Rollins is flat out getting it done in the ring. Everyone knows Punk is no slouch at this point. Brad Maddox is talking to the referee about conduct when HHH & Big Steph show up. Daniel Bryan wants a match with Bray Wyatt (Next Day Edit: So I used to have Daniel Bryan for both names. It’s my favorite screw up that neither Wade Keller nor Jason Powell fix. I have no idea why because I’ve gone back thru reports. Shouldn’t you correct it if you’re making a living off of this?). He has to beat Harper then Rowan to get Bray Wyatt. Steph is going to announce the main event for the Royal Rumble. Steph being condescending. Plus.

Steph comes out for the big announcement. I get to buzz thru the Randy Orton video package. John Cena will be his opponent at the Royal Rumble. No surprise there.

HHH gets to blow his wife. He then acts like he is going to say something she hasn’t heard. Steph seems happy about it. Curtis Axel wants us to forget about the past. Like the two failed stints as a low level WWE player? Dolph Ziggler gets an inset promo too. It wasn’t that great. Ziggler takes a ridiculous spill out of the ring. Axel takes a rough looking spill into the turn buckles. They’re trying to out sell each other. The crowd is not into this match at all. Zig Zag out of nowhere for the win. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for Ziggler.

I would not have picked Big E Langston vs Fandango for a match at the 9:00 PM slot at the beginning of the year. Or even two months ago. JBL tries to sell the ability of Fandango to win this match. Sorry, no one is good enough to sell me on that. Summer Rae is outstanding on the outside. She might over emote but I dig it. Fandango takes a breather. Fandango finally takes control when the break hits. Langston powers out. Fandango counters with head butts. Shouldn’t a man with a pretty face avoid that? Fandango getting in some offense to make his case by himself. Langston rolls out of the ring to save himself. Fandango drop kicks him. Fandango jumps into a bear hug. Overhead toss. Big Splash. Down come the straps. The Big Ending. Another good match.

You're Welcome from Wrestlingfeeds.com

You’re Welcome from Wrestlingfeeds.com

For some reason, I stop to listen to Booker T babble. New Year’s Spinarooni. Bad News Barrett shows up with a raising podium. Gavels are obnoxious which is why they work. He gives a bah humbug speech but for the New Year’s.  Renee Young is a bit too happy to introduce Damien Sandow. He claims he’ll quit if he doesn’t win. He should beat whichever clown the fans vote for.

Sandow’s opponent ends up being the Great Khali. I’m starting to wonder if this was the big spoiler. Khali is using the power early. Only a matter of time until he takes out the legs. Mitchell Cool trying to sell the Khali’s title reign as something more than it was. Elbow of Disdain doesn’t quite get it done. Chop from his knees gets Khali up again. Khali is working the crowd and cracking my shit up. (Next Day Edit: Seriously, him working the crowd was so awkward it was hilarious. I can’t remember the last time he had a match this “long” either.) Sandow whacks Khali’s head off a turn buckle and rolls him for the win. The cover was jacked up so the announcers try to cover. I’m glad Sandow quitting isn’t the surprise.

R Truth is taking on Brodus Clay. Xavier Woods is on the head sets again. They must like his mic skills. Poor Woods has to sell back story as he’s sympathizing with his opponent who got blasted. Clay tossing Truth like a sack of potatoes. Woods distracts Clay. The Funkadactyls join in. Truth kicks a charging Clay. Facebuster for the win. They all dance.

HHH gets to introduce Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Lesnar has a new shirt. I like his Steve Austin like abilities to whip up a new shirt. I dig it too. Cool rendition of his back tattoo. He wants to be WWE Heavyweight Champion. The winner of Cena vs Orton has to take on Brock Lesnar. Hmm, that’s a weird time to have him challenge. Between the Rumble and Wrestlemania? He issues an open challenge. Mark Henry answers the bell. Nice. This can’t take place now. Lesnar nails Henry as he gets into the ring. Henry tosses Brock over the barricade. Henry gets driven thru the barricade. F5 on the floor. Aww. Damn. I wanted a match between the two. So John Cena wins the belt then, right? No way they make Lesnar a baby face figure against Orton. (Next Day Edit: After clicking on said link, this was the major spoiler and not the end of the show. It’s Wrestlemania season so now that Brock isn’t going back to the UFC, why is it surprising he’s back in the WWE? If you think the WWE wouldn’t use him for the biggest card of the year, shot yourself. I’m still bummed that him and Henry didn’t get a feud. It didn’t need to be a long one but have them face at the Rumble.)

Total Divas vs Non-Total Divas again. Eva Marie gets to be a heel on the baby face team. Kaitlyn is a baby face on the heel team so it all works. Cameron tags in but is unhappy with Eva. Alicia Fox comes in for her spots. Summer Rae gets to use the long legs. Aksana is in before I can type the previous sentence. They trust Cameron to sell more then Eva. Nikki gets a hot tag? All hell break loose. Summer Rae distracts Nikki. Aksana elbows Nikki face first into the ring for the win. Weird choice for a winner.

Brad Maddox is apologizing to the Authority for the ref botch. Brad has Steph’s favorites lined up. He also has HHH’s favorites lined up. (Next Day Edit: For next week’s Old School Raw. I guess that’s pertinent information.) Maddox woos and shows why he should get more TV time.

Daniel Bryan starts out against Luke Harper. I’m taking it this match goes longer than the Rowan part. Harper looks like Rob Zombie would cast him in a movie. Power dominates early. Gator roll. Bryan starts on a mini roll but gets planted with a tilt a whirl slam. Commercial. Fun stuff from the WWE App. Thanks for making me not download it. Pair of clotheslines by Bryan. Suicide dive connects. And a second time. Top rope drop kick. Chopping the tree kicks. Head kicks only gets two. Brutal looking power bomb that Bryan kicks out of. Bray Wyatt with a fantastic reaction. Bryan still kicks out after a couple of moves. Bryan catches Harper in the Yes Lock. Harper powers out. Bryan with the running knee out of nowhere for the win. Fun stuff. Erick Rowan decks Bryan from behind. The ref let’s Bryan stand before he rings the bell. Rowan tosses him into the steps. He then tosses Bryan over the announce desk. Bryan starts to budge as the commercial hits.

Rowan pancakes Bryan. Rowan slaps Bryan in the belly as he’s perched on the top rope. Middle rope fall away slam. Big man move 101. Small Package for the win. Small guy move 101. Harper drops a few elbows on Bryan but Harper restrains him. Bray Wyatt takes his time getting into the ring. Bray charges Bryan but doesn’t attack. Harper & Rowan attack before any fisticuffs happen. Good choice. They assault him some more. No one in the back likes Bryan. Wyatt sings. Our story ends here. This is the end. Bryan says “You’re right.” Bryan is given the mic. He admits that the machine never let him win. He says even the fans chanting for him everywhere he’s ever been could change their mind. Bryan wants to join the family. Bryan crawls over to him. Sister Abigail but seemingly willing on Bryan’s part. Harper and Rowan carry Bryan to the back. Well, something needed to happen for the Wyatt Family. Interesting choice because he is so much bigger than everyone in the group. Bryan ends up waddling up the ramp by himself. The fans chant no. Bryan acts like the crowd is going to change his mind but he doesn’t. Nice. It could end up sucking but whatever. Got to pull the trigger to find out if it works. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

BandwagonI had a full weekend but my favorite part came Saturday evening when exiting the Pittsburgh Penguins at Columbus Bluejackets game. Two things really amused me during the game. My girl and I walk past the sign up area to sign up for the “Arch City Army”, which is a faction of hard core Jackets fans, going to our seats every game. Since this game involved the Penguins, there were plenty of Pittsburgh fans in attendance including myself. The first derogatory thing told to me was to “Go home…to Pittsburgh.” After living in Columbus for 14 years, I still get this comment. I’m not going anywhere people. Deal with me rooting for the Penguins. The full season ticket holder that sits beside me seemed shocked that I wore my colors even though I told at Opening Night that I would be dressed in black and gold. What an idiot.

The second part was why I mentioned walking past the Arch City Army. After the Pens won 3-0, the best chant they muster was “Bandwagon! Bandwagon!” which is hilarious on multiple levels. You’re the only Bluejackets fans left in the arena. Looks like your bandwagon already left the arena so you’ve got no back up. Second, do you realize that the last time the Penguins won a Stanley Cup was 2009? That’s four years ago if you can’t do the math. You don’t stay on a band wagon for that long. When you’ve been rooting for a team for that long, you’re just a fan. The Pens have enjoyed a great regular seasons but have been terrible in the playoffs. Even last year ended with a miserable sweep to the Boston Bruins.

The “Bandwagon” chant also got me thinking after the Pittsburgh Steelers got dismantled by the New England Patriots. I wore my Pirates hat to the game because it used to be the best way to say “I’m a hard core Pittsburgh fan. You can’t call me a band wagon fan.” I’m starting to think now that I’m going to have wear Steelers gear since they’re the only losers in town. Time to review Raw after that rant which really could have been it’s own post. Let’s roll.

Lenny-Squiggy-laverne-and-shirley-19107748-640-480CM Punk kicks off the show then we get more review from last week. The Wyatt Family gets their entrance. Evidently, this is good for business. Luke Harper is Punk’s opponent. Jerry Lawler isn’t buying that it’ll stay a 1 on 1 match. Smart man. I’m not sure why Punk is going with the Squiggy look. Not surprised Harper got the call. He was good when I’ve seen him. Holy cow, Mitchell Cool is an idiot. Rowan doesn’t look like Michael Myers. Break time. Punk finally makes a come back. His neck breaker looked really bad. Punk ends up “stealing it” with a roll up. Rowan attacks Punk. Bray Wyatt joins in. Daniel Bryan makes the save with a chair. HHH gets more air time because the WWE makes content for their website. If it’s important, it makes it to TV. Could you imagine the CEO of Apple being taped saying “Finish him” to people mugging one of their employees, JBL? They’d be in as much trouble as Richie Incognito.

Renee Young talks to CM Punk. He knows that he’ll always be out numbered. Punk knows he’s not the only one who has a problem with them. Weird that Bryan didn’t pop in. Paul Heyman is on the phone. He appears to be in a Russian gulag because this interview isn’t on Skype. Heyman cries and hangs up. Ryback gets to take on the Great Khali to get some heat back. We get a break first. Lovely.

Khali is out powering Ryback early. I guess Ryback isn’t strong enough to give Khali Shellshock. Meat hook clothes line for the win. Ryback drags Santino out of the ring. He tosses Marella into the barrier. Just what the doctor ordered. We get more Big Show tape. JBL makes the same claims about jail. Evidently the authorities in those municipalities and the WWE don’t feel the same. Kofi Kingston shows up for Eric Nelson’s birthday, if he’s still alive.

Alberto Del Rio is his opponent. Del Rio is putting the boots to Kofi early. He needs to get heat back too if he’s going to take on Super Cena again. The crowd is still pulling for Kofi even though he’s been MIA for a while now. Del Rio misses the enziguri. Del Rio makes one of the lamest kick outs ever. Kofi goes for the SOS. Del Rio turns it into the cross arm breaker for the win. Nice counter. Dear lord, they go through Big Show’s charges with video packages. JBL has no answer for the charges other than he hates lawyers. That’s some weak sauce.

Randy Orton comes out first. Lawler is ready to announce his opponent when Orton gets on a mic. That was as bland as it could be. Big E Langston is his opponent. My boy Dolph Ziggler & the Miz got crushed. No surprise really because the only thing Orton had right was that the WWE Universe didn’t truly have a choice. We got 3 guys the WWE wants him to face. (Next Day Edit: Well, it’s really 1 guy that the WWE wants Orton to face and 2 guys that aren’t a stretch to face Orton.) Langston shoulder blocks him out of the ring. After tossing Orton to the outside a third time, we get a commercial. Orton finally gets control shortly after the break. Big E missed a spear. Yikes. That is a large gentleman doing that. Orton gets to bore us with a reverse chin lock. Big E shoulder blocks Orton in the corner. JBL gets no sold on a comment. Splash by Big E for a near fall. This is some bizarro world baby face match. Dominant showing by opponent, baby face makes a heroic comeback for the win. No way Big E wins this one. Hanging DDT by Orton. The ladies are loving the “New face of the WWE”. RKO out of the Big Ending. Why is Big Show getting so much air time?

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

I watched this clip earlier today after Jim Leyland announced his retirement. It is barely proof that Leyland has aged as a manager since he has a little more color in his hair. It would have been nice for the Pittsburgh Pirates to get him for a second round but the Detroit Tigers decided to steal him along with just about the entire roster of the 1990 Pirates as coaches. As I watch the Penguins play the Colorado Avalanche, I’ve found out that the fans of Pittsburgh decided to steal something from the Detroit Red Wings fans. They’ve decided that their team has been so good for so long, that they can come to the arena dressed as seats even though the game is “sold out”. That’s not quite an even swap but it’s the best I got for now. Let’s roll.

Oh goody, we get HHH & Big Steph to start the show. Steph sets the table for the HIAC PPV. Steph wondering how the feed is there is the most believable part of HHH & Big Show shouting at each other. Steph cutting it though at the flip of a switch means it should have been killed earlier. Daniel Bryan shows up instead of Dean Ambrose. The later gets to show up after a commercial break. Not exactly a sizzling start. Ambrose has been downgraded to not getting an entrance. JBL isn’t making any sense, asking his fellow announcers why Big Show isn’t in jail is bad for two reasons: 1 – They barely ever argue with you. Why do you expect them to do it now? 2 – HHH & Stephanie should answer that question. What the hell is that pin combo called that Bryan just did? Holding an arm down with one leg and digging the elbow into his waist. Looked cool but seemed a little too convoluted to me. Dean Ambrose takes control before the break in TV land and my column.

Ambrose is still in control after it. Since JBL revisited the criminal line of thought for Big Show, I have a third point for him. You always say that you’re the best journalist in the WWE. How about you ask around as to why Big Show isn’t in jail? Mitchell Cool seems to be having fun with JBL. Too bad my ears aren’t. OH my lord, JBL just asked if he said something factually in accurate about Armstrong & Bryan working together for the quick count. Cool decided to answer after his own soliloquy. Ugh. Daniel Bryan wins with the Yes Lock. Fancy reversal into the move.

CM Punk comes out to run his mouth. That is as nondescript a promo as I’ve heard from him. It wasn’t bad. HHH and Big Steph are talking to Vickie about running Raw like she hasn’t done that before. Shawn Michaels brings up power suits and does his silly schtick. He brings up Vince McMahon who has got to be behind Big Show, right? I want to spill water on my lap top again after Hornswoggle, Santino Marella & the Great Khali show up dress in Elvis wigs. Gauging out my eyes would work too.

Santino is taking on Heath Slater. They do a kung fu comedy to start the match. It’s definitely time for a #SippyTimeBeer. “This is entertainment!” from Mitchell Cool who deserves to be put thru the paces by Ivory again for that line. Elvis Cobra gets a big hoot from the commentators and no one in the crowd. A Sneak Cobra attack later wins it for Santino. He sings to Lawler after the match. JBL fakes laughs more. I hope he’s paid well to laugh at that garbage.

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#ROH Is The Worst – Part XV

silenceI haven’t been off the ROH beat. I’ve been watching for the past month and a half as the tournament for the ROH World Title has unfolded. I did sneak a peak at the results of the iPPV, which was given out for free because of yet another malfunction, to see who the new ROH World Champ was because I didn’t think it’d be on TV. It was on TV though which gave me the additional two weeks of viewing, um how do I say this, pleasure. Sure, I’ll touch on the negativity in this article but for the majority of this time period, I have liked what I’ve seen.

In the last six weeks, Kevin Kelly has not completely sucked. For whatever reason, he seems more comfortable when Nigel McGuinness is his co-pilot. Wikipedia tells me that he got canned for budget reasons. I’d have to say he doesn’t do well arguing because he was tongue tied when Steve Corino or any heel is around. Of course, I spend most weeks bemoaning Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler not arguing with JBL well enough so maybe it was budget cuts. Kelly has made his fair share of dumb comments, but as an overall whole he has been good in selling the matches and describing the title tournament picture well.

I do like ROH’s style of wrestling since it is an alternative to the WWE and WWE Lite AKA TNA. I have noted my reservations about their multi-finisher set of moves numerous times. That problem hasn’t changed. I wish they’d throw in more basic offense instead of a second finisher. But the thing about all of those finishers is that they do look cool and require quite a bit of athleticism. Some people go over board with trying to make it look complicated but most if not all of the men in this tournament don’t do that.

Speaking of the wrestlers in the tournament, ROH made some smart decisions and whittled it down to the four guys at the top of their roster. Adam Cole against Tommaso Ciampa was one semi-final bout while Michael Elgin against Kevin Steen was the other one. The only people on their roster you could make a case for other than these four are Jay Lethal, who isn’t doing better since dropping the Macho Man gimmick but is still an excellent wrestler, Davey Richards, who stinks and is also in an ongoing feuds with Kyle O’Reilly & Bobby Fish and Rocky Romero & Alex Koslov, and Michael Bennett, who needs to be built up but has the potential.

ROH dedicated the last show, this past week’s, to the conclusion of the tournament which is a great idea. They showed build up for Adam Cole and Michael Elgin. ROH also gave them promo time along with soon to be dethroned champion Jay Briscoe. I’m sure they didn’t show the entire match but they showed a lot of it. The match was the bulk of the show though, another positive. The last of three positives was the fact that they decided to throw the strap on the newly heel Adam Cole. He had been trending in that direction but Cole super kicking Briscoe in the back of the head after Jay had handed over the ROH Title to Cole cemented the turn. Too bad the “smart” ROH crowd ruined the moment by starting to cheer for Cole. Maybe ROH isn’t the problem. ROH’s fans are the worst. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

I'm_ScrewedSo when you consistently do something like this blog, of course you want some level of fame. We have a decent little pocket of fans but it’d be nice to have more. Example of why we’re not going to have more. Jeremy has been texting me about Raw for at least the last month. Every time he asks me if I’ve seen segment X (which is usually at the 9 PM spot). I’ve told him no, I haven’t started yet. So he hits me up about the second interview I recorded last week to make sure he was editing things correctly. We got that cleared up and he asks me “Oh my god please tell me you are up to date on raw.” My answer was “Do you know what the name of my column? Dog walk then starting.” If I can’t get a fellow contributor to know what and how I run my column, what chance do I have roping in more fans? I’m screwed. Oh well, time to do the column any way. Let’s roll.

CM Punk kicks off the show and gets a bigger pop than I remember in a while for him. Ha, glad he steered away from sounding like Mick Foley and said right here…on Raw. By the way, super awesome to be doing this from my rebuilt Mac. Water is half way across the room. Brad Maddox re-appears. Punk busts him for not having an entrance song. Maddox is trying to hold it together and get off his lines. Big E Langston seems to accept Punk’s challenge. Did he get injured? I didn’t miss him. Langston whacks him with the mic. The match starts next!

Big E has the upper hand. JBL starts blowing Big E. He’s got everything except mic skills. Still haven’t seen enough of him in the ring to go one way or the other. Round house kick gets a two count for Punk. Big elbow drop then Punk sets up the GTS. Punk wins with it. Nice of the announcers to mention the Big E/Ryback similarities. Good spot for Big E. He’ll get a chance down the line.

Oh goody, we get Fandango versus Kofi Kingston. I barely pay attention trying to set up other stuff on the refurbished lap top. Kofi with the Trouble in Paradise. I lost everything except the hard drive. Lots of little things to fix. The Wyatt Family visits Kofi. Bray Wyatt wants everyone to fall down one at a time. Kofi doesn’t get beat down.

Holy crap, my boy Dolph Ziggler is on the pre-PPV match. Thanks Jack Swagger. Randy Orton creeps out the Bella Twins. He wants Brie to get married sooner rather than later because of what he will do to Daniel Bryan. Renee Young interviews Paul Heyman. He won’t be bullied by Punk any more. He stresses the us with him & CM Punk holding the title. Heyman has a plan for tonight and dares Punk to try. I haven’t watched any of these Matador vignettes. It’s ridiculous.

Holy shit. The midget has some serious moves. 3MB in the form of Heath Slater & Jinder Mahal are fighting Epico & Primo. As amazing as the little person was, big down grade from Rosa Mendes. (Next Day Edit: Jeremy & I can’t decide if El Torrito is a midget or a child. He looked too proportional to be a little person, right? I’d still rather see Rosa.) I didn’t expect this match to last this long. This is what Jeremy alerted me too. So ridiculous. They went more over the top than Fandango. Wow. Double Samoan Drop for the win. At least it was a team work finisher which is lacking these days.

It's got to be from WWE.com, right not beautifallwallworld.blogspot.com, right?

It’s got to be from WWE.com, right not beautifulwallworld.blogspot.com, right?

HHH & Big Steph come down to the ring first. HHH calls out the Rhodes family. Old school music hits. Condescending Steph is her best version. Condescending HHH is not as good. They acknowledge Dusty’s job with the WWE, I think for the first time. They need to beat Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns at Battle Ground and they have jobs. They all lose their jobs if they lose. Dusty just wants to be in their corner. Steph implies he’ll be beat up. The Shield beats them down. Captain America Believes In The Shield. All but cementing the Rhodeses return.

R Truth is taking on Curtis Axel for some reason. It’s actually a good match. Axel gets to learn from a vet who has some credibility with the crowd. I liked the modified Stunner from Truth. This crowd has been quite lively tonight. Punk’s music distracts Axel. R Truth hits Pay Dirt for the win. Heyman starts laughing realizing he got caught.

They give us a Total Divas review on Brie Bella & Daniel Bryan. The lady and I watched the mid-season finale last night. Column will be up tomorrow some time. Alicia Fox is taking on Brie with Nikki. The crowd is even behind Brie. Face buster for the win. Were they setting up dissension between the twins earlier? (Next Day Edit: Brie said something about being excited for winning the title then Nikki said something about “us” winning the title. Skinny sister vs Fat sister, I can’t wait!)

Curtis Axel is clutching his Intercontinental Title. Paul Heyman calms him down. Ryback comes in. He’s ready to give Punk what he wants. Heyman has a new outlook on life. Paul’s going to propose to Ryback. It’s too put on for me to ask the obvious. Renee Young gets to ask Big Show about his Smackdown appearance. HHH got to toss him a punk card. Big Show busts out the Damocles Sword reference. Big Show says he’s going to knock HHH out. I’m sure you won’t.

In case you were wondering about Damocles Sword.

In case you were wondering about Damocles Sword.

R Truth is talking to Brad Maddox about the IC Title. Big Show comes in and Truth does the smart thing and bolts. Show picks up Brad by the face. That looked scary. Okay, I understand the breast cancer thing but it’s completely ridiculous when the heels do it. Alberto Del Rio offended me. He gets to beat Zack Ryder. Has he made it on TV for a month straight now? Ryder bites it on a sling shot splash. He’s looked stronger than any of his other matches. I never expected him to be champ but he’s a useable wrestler at a minimum. Double stomp by Del Rio on Ryder. Cross Arm Breaker for the win. That was a quick turn around.

I have never noticed Ryback‘s song is “Meat On The Table.” Hilarious title. Paul Heyman gets to complain about Punk being a bully. They decide to get creepy as Ryback pats his cheek. Heyman has felt liberated since he met Ryback. Heyman wants to make an honest man out of Ryback. Paul drops to a knee and grabs Ryback’s hand. The crowd chanting “No!” is a riot. He asks him if he’ll become a “Paul Heyman guy”. Everyone groans because no one expected a real proposal. Ryback Mountain line by Lawler. Nice work. CM Punk “hurts” himself jumping the barricade. Ryback & Heyman stay in the ring. Punk tries to get in the ring. Punk pulls a kendo stick from under the ring and attacks Heyman & Ryback. Axel gets a beating too. Even steven booking says he loses at the PPV.

Dolph Ziggler waits for his team mates, the Usos. They’re taking on The Shield. Hey, didn’t the Usos just win the #1 Contendership last week? Why did it take me this long to remember this? Shouldn’t they be pissed that the Rhodes Family is swiping their spot. Mitchell Cool gets to explain Dusty Rhodes’s job a little more. Why did the Shield hold on to Jimmy Uso? Dumb bells. Dive over the top rope second week running. If you keep showing the break footage from the app, I will continue to not download it. They only show it for matches which would be the only time I’d pay attention anyway. Reigns over shoots Jimmy. Super kick gets him space. Dolph gets the hot tag. He’s in against Ambrose again. Fame asser but Reigns breaks it up. Reigns with a spear on Ziggler for the win. The ref mentioned the tag before Ziggler got belted. Big Show is still in HHH’s office.

Big Show is still there. Police come. He’s been threatening a WWE employee. Big Steph talks the cops back. Steph also says that Big Show hasn’t been measuring up to his wife’s expectations either. Weird story line. Big Show angry at HHH poster. I hope Big Show knows how to patch drywall. Renee Young interviews RVD. We get more Youtube videos. I agree with the No. 1 pick. He got some killer distance on that. About what you expect RVD in the promo department. (Next Day Note: 3 appearances by the backstage interviewer is a lot, right? Seems like more than normal to me. I guess she’s more camera ready than Josh Matthews.)

I have no idea why this was under "Damocles Sword" search. Enjoy it anyway from bikernet.com

I have no idea why this was under “Damocles Sword” search. Enjoy it anyway from bikernet.com

Santino Marella & The Great Khali are taking on, oh no, it’s a singles match. Santino againts Antonio Cesaro of the Real Americans. They show the great swing. Santino goes for the Cobra. Cesaro does the swing again. He’s found his gimmick for TV time that used to be his gimmick in ROH. Santino Judo rolls him for the win. Zeb Colter’s disappointing face needs to be posted by now. (Next Day Note: I checked Google to no avail.)

Jerry Lawler invites Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton down to the ring. Orton gets to rehash his change in attitude. Bryan wants Orton to know that he’s never needed anyone’s motivation to become the best. He’s made himself the best. Orton ends up beating down Bryan. Brie Bella comes out for the save when Orton goes for the hanging DDT. Orton still drops him. Drama! Orton tears apart the announcers table. RKO as if the table somehow makes that worse. Brie yells at Orton. So Bryan wins the belt then? That makes no sense. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

This website took things into their own hands for labeling.

This website took things into their own hands for labeling.

So if I had just made up my mind and had my computer repaired, I wouldn’t be using my parent’s spare old Dell. Of course, maybe dropping water on the lap top should have warned me that the rest of my week was going to suck from then on. I’m starting late again so I’m doing babbling. Let’s roll.

Angelo Savoldi is recognized. I get to learn who he is on Wikipedia. I’m sure I can do the reading during HHH‘s long speech. Stephanie gets to tell them that the 10 are “men.” RVD gets to be the mouth piece of the group. The McMahon’s try to turn the tables mentally on the 10 by giving them the Shield. He’s having a hard time pronunciating “frustration.” Okay, maybe they have me again. Not sure where they’re taking this thing and they don’t seem to know either.

Kofi Kingston is taking on Alberto Del Rio. Are the McMahon’s trying to wear out the 10 before their elimination match? Lawler asking if the match is fair to the Shield is pretty weird. Shouldn’t that be JBL’s role? They get a break with Kofi in control. The crowd is starting to do random chants. No surprise that Chicago is bringing it. Kofi gets a near fall from an SOS. I can’t remember the last time I saw a Boom Drop. It hasn’t gotten better. Nice German Suplex by Del Rio. Kofi screws up a DDT. Kofi misses a cross body. Del Rio goes vicious. Kofi taps out to the Cross Arm Breaker.

Renee Young gets to ask Miz the tough questions. HHH can’t let him wrestle because of his condition. He gives Miz the Big Show on Miz TV. They recap the Rhodes happenings.

The Prime Time Players get to take on the Wyatt Family in the form of Luke Harper & Erick Rowan. The beat down of the 10 continues. Darren Young is taking it. The lights go off momentarily. Most exciting news of the match so far. Titus O’Neil gets the hot tag. Young takes out Rowan. Harper capitalizes on a distracted O’Neil. Clothesline for the Wyatt win. Young gets Sister Abigail’s kiss. Mitchell Cool gets cut off making a good point. Did someone just get in trouble?

Miz TV is on. The Miz wants to know why the Big Show would do that. The Miz asks the Big Show to stand up for himself. Stephanie McMahon strides down to the ring. Steph calls the Miz a utility person. She does condescending well. Steph makes Big Show knock out the Miz which he does with no hesitation. (Next Day Note: Did the WWE realize Big Show is a lot better as a heel? If so, good for them. I’d be happy to get rid of smilely Big Show again.)

Randy Orton comes out and finds out that his opponent is RVD. The announcer banter is the best part of the match until the early break. Buzzing thru entrances makes this so much quicker. I might catch up before the finish if I keep it up. Orton makes it interesting by kicking RVD off the top rope. He appears to have snapped. They get counted out but Orton still beats down RVD. So why aren’t the other 10 helping RVD out? What a bunch of pussies. Top Rope hanging DDT.

Randy Orton runs into the Bellas back stage. He warns Brie of his awaited beating. They’re doing a good job of putting more heat on Orton instead of the McMahons. They show clips from HHH’s new DVD. Big Steph does more condescending, this time to AJ Lee. AJ doesn’t like the way she’s being treated as Divas Champion. AJ listens to Big Steph.

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