Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

From behindthesteelcurtain.com

From behindthesteelcurtain.com

Chuck Noll, the coach who has more Super Bowl wins than any other coach in the history of the National Football League, passed away on Friday. I didn’t really get to enjoy those four Lombardi Trophies that he helped bring to Pittsburgh. I was 3 when they won #3 and 4 when they lifted #4 but I was too young to remember. By the time I had started to really watch football, the Steelers were pretty terrible. I didn’t know him as a winner but rest assured that my Grandpa Sheehan and my father have filled me in on some of that past glory. If you want to read more about what he means to Pittsburgh, I suggest reading Dejan Kovacevic’s Noll Made Us All Steelers article in the Pittsburgh Tribune -Review, which had very little to do with football.

As for wrestling, I will be attending Smackdown tomorrow so you won’t hear my lovely voice until at least Wednesday if not later. I’ll be wondering if everyone that loses is going to get fired considering Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre and Aksana all got to take losses before being “future endeadvored” on Wednesday. It’s time for Raw though. Let’s roll.

We get the locker room on the entrance stage. HHH & Stephanie McMahon greet us from the middle of the ring.They run down Daniel Bryan more. Giving rise to even more speculation in my mind that he’ll be back for the PPV. I don’t feel like they played Dr. Maroon’s part last week that said he would be re-evaluated to get him back in the ring as soon as possible. Steph announces a battle royal. Only the idiots in Cleveland would cheer for that pile of trash style of match. (Next Day Note: Since I didn’t comment on them for the rest of the night, that was a second consecutive good crowd in Cleveland.) HHH boots Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns & John Cena from the match. Can I say they’re doing a solid smarm job but still not like having to endure this garbage? Evil Authority. HHH acts like Kane hasn’t lost to Cena more times than I care to remember.

Dolph Ziggler heads to the ring. He gets to lose to Seth Rollins in another good match that he won’t be rewarded for. We get a video package about Rollins betrayal. The match doesn’t go much of anywhere when the break hits. Rollins in control after it. Jaw jacker by Ziggler. Rollins tosses him outside. Ziggler cracks Rollins when he goes for a suicide dive. Rollins kicks out the back of Ziggler’s leg to take over. The big DDT gets Dolph a two count. Ziggler slaps on the sleeper hold. Fame Asser for a two count. Ziggler goes for the DDT a second time but Rollins turns it into a buckle bomb. That looked like a good recovery. Second buckle bomb leads to the Curb Stomp. Dean Ambrose attacks for the DQ win. He then gets some mic time as Rollins backs away. He challenges him to a match. HHH gives him Bad News Barrett. I wish he’d drop the fascination with the cape spot for his entrance.

Ambrose is dressed in a black tank top & jeans. Is this a new look? If so, why is he the first to change his in ring gear? Ambrose gets tossed off the top rope to the floor for the first significant move. Ambrose re-injures his shoulder. Barrett works it over. A back elbow and Tornado DDT gets Ambrose an opening. I keep trying to block out the announcers but it’s not working. They bicker so poorly that it drives me bananas. Ambrose hits the catapult clothes line. Rollins distracts Ambrose. Ambrose side steps a charging Barrett. Ambrose nails them with a suicide dive. Ambrose gets counted out fighting Rollins in the crowd. Ambrose attacks Barrett and nails Dirty Deeds. JBL makes one valid point “That sneak attack is okay?” No answer from Mitchell Cool or Jerry Lawler. Ugh. Roman Reigns tries to sweet talk Vickie. It’s just a ploy to spike HHH & Steph’s drinks with what I’m assuming is pepper since Vickie sneezed. Do cartoons still do that gimmick? Seems like a dated reference to me.

From occultspace.com

From occultspace.com

Bray Wyatt comes out and talks in low light around a ladder. Power is his game. He points to the belt and says that’s all the power he’d ever need. Wyatt then starts to hype Luke Harper & Erick Rowan. I would be perfectly happy to see them as tag champions. I just hope the Usos don’t hang it up since that tends to happen when losses happen. Sing along time. Sheamus reminds us that it’s bad luck to walk under ladders. Wyatt welcomes the fight that Sheamus promises to bring. Sheamus works over Wyatt at first. In what looks like a botched spot, Wyatt falls down. He gets up and tackles Sheamus. It looks like Sheamus is going to be attacked by Harper & Rowan when the Usos decide to show up.

It remains a singles match after the break. I was expecting a six man to start. Sheamus fights back. A high running knee was missed by Sheamus. Wyatt ends up hitting the cross body block. Sheamus power slams Wyatt. Sheamus backs into the corner when Harper & Rowan grab him. The Usos join the fight. The Usos end the fracus by running up a ladder and diving onto Harper & Rowan. HHH whacks Vickie as she tries to give him his coffee. So just Steph is going to be sick.

Steph is still drinking away as she is interviewed by Renee Young. She ends up running off. Paul Heyman thankfully is the replacement. He runs through the possible champions but then tells us that Cesaro being the next champion is not a prediction but a spoiler. Heyman even makes the most of short ones.

Rusev is out to face the One Man Band. Did Mitchell cool just call him simply Slater? If so, they have gone too far with the single name status. Lana gets to talk from the middle of the ring this week. She gives us a Mount Russiamore. He speaks. He is the super athlete. Slater gives us the go back speech. American rock star, baby! Kick to the face. Crush. The Accolade. I hope I don’t see him tomorrow. (Next Day Note: I still don’t want to see him tonight.) Vickie has to check on Stephanie and gets puked on. Sigh. Vickie is now in charge but is told to take a shower. Scream by Vickie. (Next Day Note: I’m was so confused. Vickie sneezes in the segments to imply pepper was the spiking agent but Steph is puking so much that she has to leave the arena. Reigns didn’t go with laxative, which has more potential for pervs who want to see Steph on the toilet, so what did he use exactly? Pepper won’t make you violently puke.)

Roman Reigns lobbies Vickie Guerrero again. Smart plan by Reigns. He gets what he wants. Why would she do that? (Next Day Note: Just send the clip of Reigns spiking their drinks. Or how about HHH & Steph watch their own product so they don’t fire Vickie wrongfully. Now you really are screwed.) They advertise “Think Like a Man Too” which I won’t see no matter how great Kevin Hart is in this segment. He gets to meet Adam Rose. Hart won’t be a Rose Bud. He’s going to do commentary? That’s probably going to be better than a dumb segment with him.

Kevin Hart is on the head set next. I don’t FF as Hart starts cracking on Fandango & Layla. Did they have him out just to ask that question for Mitchell Cool to throw to replay? It appears as if it’s a ladies match with Summer Rae. Oh, Adam Rose is joining her. The guys start the match. Summer Rae goes hell cat on Layla. Layla tags out ASAP. Party Foul by Rose for the win. What the fuck? Kevin Hart joins Rose for a victory dance. They both crowd surf. I’m just shaking my head. It should be noted that one of my lady’s co-workers will be taking his eleven year old girl to Smackdown tomorrow. I’m wondering if she isn’t as disgusted by that segment as me. I doubt it. Boo-tista Unleashed where he gets to cry. Hey man, don’t say the internet didn’t like you. As soon as you played what you should be playing (ahem a heel who won’t be cheered) your run was fantastic. Said it then, will continue to say it now.

Dark Royalty by Shiroin.com

Dark Royalty by Shiroin.com

The Battle Royal is on. Santino & Damien “Lebron James” Sandow were eliminated early. A Matadore then another got tossed by Rusev. They talk about Bo Dallas a lot. Titus O’Neil gets tossed by Reigns. Sin Cara gets tossed. Ziggler gets staying in the match. Jack Swagger should toss Kofi but it’s ass backwards. The US beat Ghana 2-1. I don’t care that it was bowling shoe ugly. 3 points is 3 points. I can keep track of this garbage on the app. No thanks. No eliminations so it really didn’t matter. Ryback eliminates Ziggler. Reigns goes bananas in the ring. Ryback slows him down. Reigns spears Rybaxel. Fandango gets eliminated. Ryback gets low bridged. Axel leaves. RVD gets occupied with Barrett and Dallas. RVD fights them both off. RVD goes for a monkey flip when Dallas tosses him. Dallas hugs Barrett who clothes lines him. Bo gets tossed but holds on. Dallas gets speared and tossed by Reigns. It’s down to Reigns and Rusev. They aren’t giving this to Rusev. The heel kick by Rusev finally looks significant. Reigns fires back on Rusev. They fight with Rusev on the apron. Superman Punch to eliminate Rusev. John Cena just saw the impossible become possible. He’s happy about the stretcher match. Whatever dude. (Next Day Note: What I should have typed was “Even Cena realizes he’s beat Kane more time than he can count.)

Naomi & Cameron both still have jobs. Paige gets to wrestle Cameron. Oh goody. Cameron’s main offensive weapon is a slap. Not good news. Naomi acts disappointed in Cameron. We’re getting a break up angle. Good for Naomi, bad for Cameron. Paige locks in the PTO.  The announcers go back over the Rhodes saga. Byron Saxton gets to interview Goldust. He is excited about his new partner who is super galactic. Definitely Cody in some kind of gear.

Goldust is the first out. Stardust is out second. Cody with a star on his face. Dear lord. Stardust makes short work off Curtis Axel. (Next Day Note: I just feel bad that the king of the one trick pony gimmicks has another gimmick. It has kept him on TV so maybe it isn’t so bad.)

John Cena & Kane allow me to nearly catch up. The announcers have to sell Kane’s mean streak. Kane tries for the stretcher before the first break. Several times. Stupid. Cena tosses Kane into a chair wedged into the ropes. Kane choke slams Cena. Kane goes to attack Cena with the stairs when Cena drop kicks his legs. Kane cracks his face off the stairs on the way down. Kane reverses an AA into a DDT onto the stairs. Cena rolls off the stretcher. He tosses Kane into the post. Cena bounces off the barricade. Kane cleans off the announce table. Cena pops up and gives him the AA thru the table. Cena is a moron so he carries Kane to the stretcher. Take the stretcher to him.How about lowering the stretcher? Seth Rollins and Randy Orton attack Cena. Ambrose makes the save. He gets choke slammed by Kane. Cena dumps Kane to the outside. Cena tosses the stairs at Kane. Rollins & Orton had the numbers to finish the job. Kane sits up near the finish line. A reverse gets an AA onto the stretcher which poor Kane has to sell. Cena pushes him across the line for the win. – Kevin

 

#ROH Is The Worst – Part XVI

jesse_sorensenROH decided to bring in Jesse Sorensen for at least a match. It is his first televised match since his neck surgery. It seems like a perfect time to give him a feel good victory, right? They’ve had Grizzly Redwood job to nearly everyone on the roster, so have him do the deed. But since ROH is the worst, his opponent was Tomasso Ciampa. As I’ve noted several times, I really enjoy Ciampa but there’s no need for him to beat Sorensen. He just as easily could be fed Q.T. Marshal, R.D. Evans or Silas Young, who I’d prefer since Ciampa finished his feud with the first two already. They could have also brought in some indy wrestler to fill either the spot against Sorensen or Ciampa as ROH likes to do. ROH did make the right call by giving Sorensen a competitive match against Ciampa. Sorensen still took a loss though which seems really dumb. Have him win his return then have him “pay his dues” as if coming back from neck surgery is some walk in the park.

I missed the two of the last three weeks because ROH continues to get bumped for Big Bang Theory at midnight on Sunday/Monday since it’s such an important time slot. The week it did record properly, they replayed their 100th episode which had originally aired about two months ago. I had already noticed that Steve Corino was behind the color person’s headset so something had gone down in the weeks I had missed. I know they had done some online segments and letters but I’m tired of trying to unearth it because ROH’s site Blog and Video sections are terrible. The origin of this complaint thought is what Kevin Kelly said during the match. “Steve, you’re an outstanding analyst. That’s how you got the job in the first place. Let’s make sure you keep it this time, okay?” Holy shit. Kevin Kelly loves doing a 180 with his opinions and it is awful. When Kevin Steen turned baby face, Kelly was all aboard the Steen train which has gone nowhere. Could you please, at least for this set of tapings Mr. Kelly, be wary of Steve Corino? Give him a hard time for at least that length of time. Hell, even as bad as Jerry Lawler is, he still gets a burr under his saddle when JBL brings up his loss to Michael Cole at Wrestlemania. Cole and Lawler get along now but Lawler rightfully remembers when they were at odds. I asked back in August if Kevin Kelly has ever taken a broadcasting class. This action confirms he never has. I’m not sure if Steve Corino is an outstanding analyst but I will say I enjoyed several of his jokes during the broadcast.

Jeans in Boots

If his name was Michelle Elgin, I’d let his fashion faux pas electric slide.

I have one last complaint and it yet again has to do with the choices people make for style. I have made fun of Michael Elgin for his mullet before. He has added to his terrible look by deciding to wear cowboy boots, which are fine. The bad part comes in when he tucks his jeans inside of the boot. ROH is the worst. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

The picture above is the state of my cable presently. It decided that USA HD wasn’t worth taping either. I turned over just in time to see Randy Orton get the first fall against Alberto Del Rio. He’s burned thru every other possible PPV opponent on TV so why not restart with Del Rio? Dear lord. My cable company isn’t answering their phones either right now. It’s fabulous. Randy Orton wins the third fall. They both continue to tread water. I’m guessing I didn’t miss a whole lot in the first 1:15. I feel better about having watched The Walking Dead instead of checking to see if Raw was recording. Replays are finally worth watching. My girl thinks it quite gross to see John Cena kiss AJ Lee. She’s still doesn’t think it’s a kid’s angle appropriate for PG programming. I am unconvincing.

For some reason, we have a Great Khali vs Epico & Primo match. Hornswoggle is hitting on Rosa at ring side. Hornie has trick flowers. Khali wins. No one cares about anyone involved. Paul Heyman wants balloons. Yikes. Really glad I missed the beginning.

The Miz tries to get his babyface turn off the launch pad with his third Ohio date in seven days against David Otunga. I’m digging Otunga on the offense. I’m still perplexed as to how his mic skills are his worst part of his persona now. Lawler tries to sell Miz because he’s left handed. You could have done more to help out King. Skull Crushing Finale for the win. The WWE shows why I shouldn’t purchase a PPV because they show end of the Big Show vs Sheamus.

More replays fill me in. They’ve given Ryback an extension of this feud with CM Punk by way laying him with three nobodies. Sheamus gets to talk before his match. The crowd is giving him the “What?” treatment. Weird. Don’t fans normally reserve that for heels? Big Show hobbles out to the ramp. Wow, Sheamus gets accused of being barbaric. Both sides seemed wrong. Sheamus is bitching about what a heel did. Show sounds like a giant sissy for calling someone barbaric. Aren’t you building him up as a bad ass? Damien Sandow comes down for his arse kicking. Why is Lawler excited about the Punk celebration? Shouldn’t he be mad at him for being a braggart? I don’t think I’m missing anything. A beard tossing takes us to commercial.

Sandow is in control after the break. My girl is telling me a ridiculous story. I’m so not paying attention to this match. White Noise looks more harmful than Shell Shock. Brogue Kick. Tamina is talking to Vickie Guerrero. AJ comes in to talk to her. Vickie is supposed to be evil. I’m just not buying it.

Layla tells AJ it’s not worth it. AJ storms into the men’s locker room. For some reason everyone is in one room. She confronts my boy Dolph Ziggler. She is a shell of a woman. He’s a dick. Him, I’m buying. She attacks him. Cena makes the save. Ziggler plows Cena thru some obviously weakened partitions.

What the hell, there’s a trainers office? I’m digging the background action. Just looks like people working somewhere. Titus O’Neil and Darren Young get some mic time. We have a cavalcade of entrances with Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Daniel Bryan and Kane. Oh, it’s a traditional tag team match. I figured we’d be having another 8 man tag match. O’Neil is taking up air time but I’m not digging it. Commercial break. O’Neil calls Lawler “Old School” after a wash rag comment. You’ve just made a dozen heart attack jokes. Yes, he’s old. He had a god damn heart attack. Listen to yourself. King is having fun giving a hard time to these guys. O’Neil & Young end up attacking Kane. Sin Cara makes the save. Double 619. People are loving a three peat. Fitting end for PTP. Paul Heyman is talking up the party for CM Punk, to Punk himself. Punk is giddy.

Paul Heyman gets to give the big intro. Punk is going with a self serving promo. It’s not bad but he’s not reeling me in either. Ryback interrupts but gets attacked by Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. Punk saunters over to Ryback and raises his arms in victory. Best part of his promo.  -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #208

Eric and Kevin are back, and the boys discuss Kevin attending WWE Monday Night Raw in Columbus, Ohio. Who was over? Who was a dud? What was Kevin’s favorite moment? His biggest disappointment? What did the guys think of the Jerry Lawler-CM Punk-Paul Heyman-Mick Foley angle? The Ryback-Brad Maddox match? The action-packed 8-man tag? They also do some quick hits: Will Steve Austin wrestle CM Punk, and would they spend the money for a ticket? What’s their favorite Eddie Guerrero memory? Will they spend $1.98 on the paperback version of AJ Styles’ book? All this and a little more!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #208

Stunt Granny Goes To @WWE #Raw

Just a reminder, I will be attending Monday Night Raw tonight. I’m excited that it’s the return of Jerry “The King” Lawler especially since I won’t have to listen to the commentary go back down the toilet again. I’m unhappy that I will be attending three plus hours of mediocre wrestling while my Pittsburgh Steelers are playing the Kansas City Chiefs in what is likely to be a rain soaked Heinz Field. I will have with me a sign just like the picture above. I will be seated in Section 104 so I should be in camera view. I will also be doing plenty of Tweeting but obviously no regular column. – Kevin

Jerry Lawler’s ex-girlfriend Stacy Carter Tweets positive brain damage update

This is why Jim Ross says Jerry Lawler is a young soul.

Breaking news, from Stacy Carter’s Twitter account:

For those who need a reminder, Stacy Carter played the roles of The Kat and Miss Kitty on WWF television from 1999 to 2001, while she was Jerry Lawler’s hot young girlfriend. Now she’s his hot, only slightly older friend, and she’s our excuse to post her pictures for you alongside positive updates on Lawler’s health. It’s a win-win-win-win! -Eric

@CMPunk Tweeting about a 500K fine for blading/being bloody on Raw

The controversy continues: As we all saw (live, on DVR or on YouTube), CM Punk came up bleeding this past Monday night on Raw during his steel cage match with Jerry “The King” Lawler. Speculation is running rampant across my keyboard that one of three things happened:

1) CM Punk really hit the cage and really bled because wrestling is real.
2) CM Punk bladed because he just can’t help it. He’s a wrestler. It’s like Ash’s chain saw arm in “Army of Darkness.”
3) CM Punk bladed because, for christ’s sake, he’s wrestling inside a mess of chain link fence, and a lack of blood is a little hard to believe. #AgentOfChange

Either way, he bled, and to hear Kirby Mack discuss it, even if it’s a little hardway blood from your lip, you better get rid of that shit immediately, because this is PG and we have advertisers to appease. And now, to add fuel to the speculative fire, Punk is Tweeting that he paid a “500K fine” and also “paid Charles Robinsons fine” (Robinson was the referee in the match who took the handoff of the blade from Punk, making him a co-conspirator with this apparently rich-ass wrestler).

Now that I think about it, Punk didn’t say what he was fined, only that it was “500K” of that thing. Maybe he finally got a truckload of WWE Ice Cream Bars, and that son of a bitch was holding out on his, so when he bled, they took 500,000 of them back. Serves you right, prick! -Eric

 

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Except this time it was around Candlestick Park in San Francisco.

There was not a chance in hell this blog was going live, but I might be able to this quicker than I expected. A second power outage in San Fran during the Steelers at 49ers game. Big game. So, I’m starting this earlier than expected. Plus, I’ll be skipping out to watch again when they get power back. Glad @GrannyMaes warned me about Barrett looking like a drowned rat. CM Punk gets to announce the results of TLC with a drum roll. He starts with his match. Nice way to start the show. Can’t do it all of the time. It was an extremely good, dare I even say great match. Not an all timer or even the best of the year (I’d still reserve that for CM Punk against John Cena in Chicago.) He’s getting a great reaction. He is going to do the whole PPV. Zack Ryder gets introduced to another huge pop. Punk going right to Eric’s argument and mentioning the “heavyweights”. Punk saves Daniel Bryan for last. What a way to introduce this guy. Cole plays the irony card by bitching about Bryan. Lawler can only come up with “Let him enjoy his moment” defense. Pathetic. Lights are back on.

Back to Raw. Punk thought Philly would dig this moment more than other cities. ECW chant. He tells about him & Bryan wrestling in a tiny venue ten years ago. Zack gets the mic. Short bit. Bryan gets to yell at Cool. He’s showing good fire as he has recently. The Miz shows up. Then Ziggler. Then Alberto. We got our main event, huh? Johnny Wooden GM (not so interim) gives it to us. Del Rio sporting a new shirt. I kind of dig it. Looks like a peso.

Randy Orton in a rematch with Wade Barrett. Jer was wrong, I’m fine with Barrett’s hair because he just slicked it back. He let it be all wonky the time I made fun of him. Terrible idea for a rematch right after the pay per view. I don’t feel ripped off. Commercial break. Barrett in control after the break. Barrett is another victim of Smackdown needing a stepping stone before Orton level. Barrett is doing well for himself.

The game did not turn out to my liking. Whatever. Going to have to do it the hard route. Get the rest for the injured players. Back to the Orton versus Barrett match. Orton with the second rope DDT. Barrett going with the thumb to the eye. Glad someone could bring that back into style. Winds of Change. Did Barrett become Jeff Hardy? Wasteland thru the table. Good old fashioned heat. Kevin Nash is out for a minimum of six weeks, maybe career. He’s got a hell of a deal.

Alicia Fox takes on Beth Phoenix for the belt. Twitter mention. I’m drinking for sure. Holy crap. I typed that and didn’t see the win. The women’s division really sucks. She gets booed. Punk, the women’s division is not going to plan with your lady Beth on top. Or are they finally going to give Natty title time?

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

They are pushing the traditional 5 on 5 matches this year.

It is upon me again. Another three hour Raw. I started late because I needed to knock more stuff off my DVR. It happened to be watching Iron Chef America: Thanksgiving Showdown. I can’t get enough of the cooking. I made some killer baby bok choy slaw and shredded teriyaki ginger barbeque chicken. It is tasty. I was going to babble about my mother’s Thanksgiving dinner but I will save that talk for next week when we’re closer to the holiday. The Rock is on today. Lucky us, a whole segment might be funny. I need to start reviewing Smackdown on more than just Twitter because it is a much better show now that they’re firmly back in the development phase of the show. Oh well, Let’s roll.

We get the pleasure of starting with the Michael Cole challenge. You had to know lots of filler was coming tonight. What would be the use of showcasing wrestlers? We start with the usual arm wrestling schtick. Cole insults BBQ sauce. I haven’t tried JR’s stuff. I should at some point. I can’t drink enough to forget this dance competition and finish this article. Cole is dumb for letting the fans judge anything. He knows they hate him. Is there any cheap heat Cole hasn’t tried yet? After we get to see people on a scale, Punk shows up. Punk stating the obvious again. Does he cry at night that he gets to say what’s wrong but it doesn’t actually solve the problem? Oh, Twitter drinking game is so on tonight.  Twitter gets mentioned for a 3rd time before Mick Foley shows up. I’m glad Foley got a hair cut.

Hunico & Cody Rhodes vs Sin Cara & Kofi to start. It allows me to drink some Brothers Drake Mead, which is a honey wine, Honey Oak flavor. I barely get to type that and we get a commercial. I don’t bag on Kofi’s offense as much as the other guys on the site but that rolling clothesline is beyond dumb. Rhodes wins with his finisher. Good choice for a finish. I will enjoy Cody more without a crutch like the mask or mirror before it.

Santino is back in full force as the comedy act of Raw. The Broski defends Cena’s in ring work. I’ve got nothing on that segment. It existed. Vickie almost announces my boy Dolph as the 5th member of Team Barrett. Ziggler does a solid job again. I want his big title push!

Of course Cole needs to be more important than the show again. Mason Ryan comes out to take on Ziggler. Ryan comes out on fire. I don’t think the monster can lose quite yet. The WWE doesn’t want either guy to lose. Morrison gets to be the next title holder so Dolph can move up. Fingers crossed. Foley gets to talk to Ryder. Are they going to give any segment time aside from ones involving Cole?

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

I’m empty for news aside from sports. It’s not a good weekend when the highlight is my alma mater, the Kent State Golden Flashes, wins 24-21 on Friday evening on ESPN2 because of a shanked 20 some odd yard field goal. It was down hill from there. Pitt lost a close one to Cincinnati. Sunday was a train wreck. Fulham (English Premier League soccer) lost 3-1 after several near misses to tie it up late when it would have been 2-2. Fiorentina (Italian Serie A soccer. They are Florence’s team.) lost 1-0. To top off the shit sandwich, the Steelers did their best and bungled up a late lead. The defense being the main culprit since they were on the field last. Yuck. They’re still 6-3 with a fairly easy schedule. Just get into the playoffs. I suppose I did forget about the Penguins winning 3-2 in a shootout Saturday in Los Angeles but it’s too early in the season to start rejoicing about that.

I barely paid attention to Cena‘s pandering and shilling. Miz wakes me out of my slumber. Cena’s new shirt will continue to suck donkey balls. I stopped paying attention to them too. How can you take them seriously when they have nothing and continue to get slapped around? Zack Ryder helps out Cena. Hilarious that the guys are digging Zack but he’s teaming with Cena.

My boy Dolph Ziggler gets to beat John Morrison. Cole mentioned Twitter already. Let’s start a count. I may be wrong already with Cole & Lawler talking about the losing streak. Morrison messed up in the ropes but recovered fairly well. Ziggler gets another commercial break match.

Ziggler is showing some good offense. They really seem to be setting up a Morrison come back trail though since the announcers again are mentioning putting him away. Some fans chanting for Ziggler. Morrison executes the slowest ever tornado DDT. Yep, even the Vickie interference doesn’t work. This seems like a lot of commercial breaks for the beginning of the show.

Wow, they are trying to get me to tune out. Mason Ryan takes on JTG. I’m not sure if showing their Twitter handle counts for my game. The crossword puzzle joke was terrible but at least Lawler was trying. The crowd is bored stiff. The WWE should take notice that’s he’s not evening getting a pop in favorable territory.  More Wrestlemania hype. Look at all these dumb asses waiting in line. It’s called a computer. If you don’t have one, use one at a library. You do know where those are, right? Zack gets a cheese dick spot with the Bella Twins. He needs that on TV for those that don’t watch his show.

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