WWE To Sign Two Fresh Faces To Developmental Deals?

From Logopond.com by cspainey

From Logopond.com by cspainey

On Monday according to Prowrestling.net, the WWE was expected to sign Kevin Steen and Willie Mack to developmental contracts. It’s Thursday and nothing has been made official yet. So that gives me the time to remind everyone that the last time two ROH stars were jumping to the WWE because of a nondescript video from England, they went to TNA so that Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards could wear bad cow skin & wolf hair coats. That leaves TNA time to swoop in and sign Steen & Mack.

If that does happen, the story line will be Dixie Carter signed Steen under MVP’s nose so that she can rid herself of her Bully Ray problem. Steen will then get to fight Abyss for the TV Title completely ignoring Dixie Carter’s plan to become a baby face by supporting Eric Young for a reason that will never be mentioned on TV. Since TNA or the talents they hire can’t come up with new gimmicks Fight Steen Fight will be shortened to Fight Steen.

MVP will then hire Willie Mack because we all know that “those people” stick together. Along with Bobby Lashley and Kenny King, they’ll become the Republic of Reign. Or the Country of Supremacy. Or the Dominion of Domination. Or Association of Power. They will reign supreme over TNA until Rockstar Spud turns on Dixie Carter and becomes part of the group. He will break Jesse Sorensen’s neck again (who was re-hired by Dixie Carter too) and eventually leave the group. Willie Mack will end up turning on MVP after the crowd starts to support his new catch phrase “If Inhale The Odors from Mack’s Kitchen!” – Kevin

Weekend Rewind – Jim Ross, Impact Wrestling on Tour, AJ Styles and More

what_goes_on_tour– I am kindly requesting that anyone using Twitter stop asking Jim Ross if he’s going to be at “Insert WWE Event Here” in this case Old School Raw. The WWE doesn’t want him around. If you ask Ross this question, I will be sure to send one of our minions out to chop your fingers off. If you then get skilled enough to type with your toes, I will send out another minion (I can’t have them get noticed) to remove all of your toes. If you’re so dedicated to professional wrestling and learn how to type with your nose, you will be killed by a third minion then dropped off in the bed of the next person that asks Jim Ross whether he’ll be at the next event in Oklahoma City.

– I read on Prowrestling.net, by way of PWInsider.com, that TNA Impact was unable to secure a sound stage at Universal Studios. I’m sure everyone believe Dixie Carter and her mother now that they’re not looking to sell the company. I’m sure every business is turned away by their largest supporter.

– Speaking of TNA, our good buddy Jeff Jarrett will return to the ring with his lovely wife Karen Jarrett for USA Championship Wrestling. I’m sure it’s just a primer for his special Royal Rumble appearance. I’m sure everyone would mark out for him like they did for Kevin Nash when he came back. Except they’d mark out for Jarrett when he’s the fastest man ever eliminated.

– I hate headline writers. I mention this because there was a header on Dot Net “ROH New: Current Champion Unable To Appear At Television Tapings” which I was bummed about because I thought it meant no Adam Cole. He is one of the few things to look forward to watching that dreadful product. Fortunately, the headline was marginally misleading because it was Kyle O’Reilly, half of the tag team champions, who won’t be at the tapings. I do like him as a wrestler but reDRagon has barely been on TV recently. No big loss. We’ll get to see another dozen matches between C & C Wrestle Factory and umm, hmmm, since ROH has the greatest tag team division in professional wrestling.

– Since we hop scotched over to ROH, let’s talk about AJ Styles. If for some reason you didn’t see Roderick Strong incorrectly hold onto Styles’s legs during a Styles Clash go to jdew1492’s Instagram account. I’ll hope that all of that working out he does in his gym in Tampa included neck strengthening exercises. If he’s out for an extended period of time, at least AJ Styles can rip off Zema Ion’s angle when he broke Jesse Sorensen’s neck. Should we take bets on whether ROH would let Roderick Strong go like TNA did to Sorensen? I’m sure Dan Kuester can give us a good over under for that bet. – Kevin

#ROH Is The Worst – Part XVI

jesse_sorensenROH decided to bring in Jesse Sorensen for at least a match. It is his first televised match since his neck surgery. It seems like a perfect time to give him a feel good victory, right? They’ve had Grizzly Redwood job to nearly everyone on the roster, so have him do the deed. But since ROH is the worst, his opponent was Tomasso Ciampa. As I’ve noted several times, I really enjoy Ciampa but there’s no need for him to beat Sorensen. He just as easily could be fed Q.T. Marshal, R.D. Evans or Silas Young, who I’d prefer since Ciampa finished his feud with the first two already. They could have also brought in some indy wrestler to fill either the spot against Sorensen or Ciampa as ROH likes to do. ROH did make the right call by giving Sorensen a competitive match against Ciampa. Sorensen still took a loss though which seems really dumb. Have him win his return then have him “pay his dues” as if coming back from neck surgery is some walk in the park.

I missed the two of the last three weeks because ROH continues to get bumped for Big Bang Theory at midnight on Sunday/Monday since it’s such an important time slot. The week it did record properly, they replayed their 100th episode which had originally aired about two months ago. I had already noticed that Steve Corino was behind the color person’s headset so something had gone down in the weeks I had missed. I know they had done some online segments and letters but I’m tired of trying to unearth it because ROH’s site Blog and Video sections are terrible. The origin of this complaint thought is what Kevin Kelly said during the match. “Steve, you’re an outstanding analyst. That’s how you got the job in the first place. Let’s make sure you keep it this time, okay?” Holy shit. Kevin Kelly loves doing a 180 with his opinions and it is awful. When Kevin Steen turned baby face, Kelly was all aboard the Steen train which has gone nowhere. Could you please, at least for this set of tapings Mr. Kelly, be wary of Steve Corino? Give him a hard time for at least that length of time. Hell, even as bad as Jerry Lawler is, he still gets a burr under his saddle when JBL brings up his loss to Michael Cole at Wrestlemania. Cole and Lawler get along now but Lawler rightfully remembers when they were at odds. I asked back in August if Kevin Kelly has ever taken a broadcasting class. This action confirms he never has. I’m not sure if Steve Corino is an outstanding analyst but I will say I enjoyed several of his jokes during the broadcast.

Jeans in Boots

If his name was Michelle Elgin, I’d let his fashion faux pas electric slide.

I have one last complaint and it yet again has to do with the choices people make for style. I have made fun of Michael Elgin for his mullet before. He has added to his terrible look by deciding to wear cowboy boots, which are fine. The bad part comes in when he tucks his jeans inside of the boot. ROH is the worst. – Kevin

News You Can Use: Fire Crotch, Murder and More Sorensen

Ivelisse Fire CrotchIvelisse Velez was on Tattoo Nightmares on Spike TV. Thanks to Prowrestling.Net for pointing out it’s airing. What, you mean you don’t remember her from Tough Enough either? I’m glad I’m not the only one. I decided to tape it since it didn’t air during my usual viewing time at the gym. For those of you who didn’t watch, Ivelisse thought it was be a good idea to get a sexy tattoo of a phoenix rising…on her crotch. Because the phoenix is below her bikini (look up dummy) or tights line, it appears as if her crotch is on fire. The other problem, not pictured above, is that the phoenix is a negative image inside of all of the flames. Ivelisse didn’t think of the implications until fans chanted “fire crotch” at her.  She was smart enough to whore herself out and get more TV time by going on the show to get it fixed. Jasmine Rodriguez was her tattoo artist. Ivelisse wanted something more womanly and decided to go with a flower. Jasmine was smart enough to not go too much larger than the original tattoo and came up with a solid design. The only problem is she now has a much better done flower crotch. If Ivelisse has ever watched wrestling, she’d realize that once you have a nickname, it sticks with you even after you spend a decade in Japan and come back under a new persona. Have fun still being called “fire crotch” for the rest of your indy career.

Former WWE developmental Brian McGee fatally stabbed his girlfriend Bianca McGaughey. McGee will be charged with first degree murder when he gets out of the hospital because of course this dumb ass fled from the police and crashed his car. What are the chances that the sports media trots Vince McMahon in front of cameras and grills him about the back ground of his wrestlers like they did to Bill Belicheck about Aaron Hernandez? None, that’s what I thought too.

If you didn’t get our fill of Jesse Sorensen news in our podcast below (Seriously, it’s right there. I’m not even going to link to it. If they change pages, just hit next page you lazy bum.) Sorensen is now claiming that a friend put up his GoFundMe.com page and took a jab at Dixie Carter. Sorensen wasn’t concerned enough with the inflammatory remarks to get his meat head of a friend to take down the post. How about removing it while denouncing the post? Just go ahead and keep the money so that you don’t become the next Daniel Lugo. Thanks. -Kevin

Ivelisse Flower Fix

The tattoo is better but is flower crotch better?

Stunt Granny Audio #227

Torn ACLJeremy is back on the show along with Kevin. They end up starting the show on Impact Wrestling. It goes from a one subject idea to a three subject segment. The first one is the firing of Jesse Sorensen. How bad is this firing? Does it look better after they look at Sorensen’s Wikipedia page? Could Eric Bischoff help him out in his future endeavors? They move on to Chris Sabin of the two torn ACLs. Are his injuries the only reason crowned TNA Champion? Which host thought it was obvious Sabin was going to win? Which on thought they wouldn’t do it on regular TV? Kevin then wonders if Sabin could cut it in the WWE? Who does he think would cut it from the TNA Roster? When will the whole Stunt Granny crew do another TNA Roster Game? Their final topic for TNA was their management’s failure in budgeting. Should they continue to travel with how much money they’re losing? Would it benefit them to stay in a spot for a year then move along? How much leash is Dixie Carter going to get from her father? Will she ever become competent? Jeremy & Kevin finally move on to the WWE in rapid fire fashion. John Cena vs Daniel Bryan? Check. CM Punk vs Paul Heyman? Check. Mark Henry & the Usos vs the Shield? Check. Who’s going to write about Totally Divas? Did they forget about the fresh face of the Wyatt Family? The Wyatts may be after the Big Red Monster but Jeremy & Kevin finish by talking about the big green monster know as Godzilla. Click on the link below to hear all of that and more!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #227

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