Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

I watched this clip earlier today after Jim Leyland announced his retirement. It is barely proof that Leyland has aged as a manager since he has a little more color in his hair. It would have been nice for the Pittsburgh Pirates to get him for a second round but the Detroit Tigers decided to steal him along with just about the entire roster of the 1990 Pirates as coaches. As I watch the Penguins play the Colorado Avalanche, I’ve found out that the fans of Pittsburgh decided to steal something from the Detroit Red Wings fans. They’ve decided that their team has been so good for so long, that they can come to the arena dressed as seats even though the game is “sold out”. That’s not quite an even swap but it’s the best I got for now. Let’s roll.

Oh goody, we get HHH & Big Steph to start the show. Steph sets the table for the HIAC PPV. Steph wondering how the feed is there is the most believable part of HHH & Big Show shouting at each other. Steph cutting it though at the flip of a switch means it should have been killed earlier. Daniel Bryan shows up instead of Dean Ambrose. The later gets to show up after a commercial break. Not exactly a sizzling start. Ambrose has been downgraded to not getting an entrance. JBL isn’t making any sense, asking his fellow announcers why Big Show isn’t in jail is bad for two reasons: 1 – They barely ever argue with you. Why do you expect them to do it now? 2 – HHH & Stephanie should answer that question. What the hell is that pin combo called that Bryan just did? Holding an arm down with one leg and digging the elbow into his waist. Looked cool but seemed a little too convoluted to me. Dean Ambrose takes control before the break in TV land and my column.

Ambrose is still in control after it. Since JBL revisited the criminal line of thought for Big Show, I have a third point for him. You always say that you’re the best journalist in the WWE. How about you ask around as to why Big Show isn’t in jail? Mitchell Cool seems to be having fun with JBL. Too bad my ears aren’t. OH my lord, JBL just asked if he said something factually in accurate about Armstrong & Bryan working together for the quick count. Cool decided to answer after his own soliloquy. Ugh. Daniel Bryan wins with the Yes Lock. Fancy reversal into the move.

CM Punk comes out to run his mouth. That is as nondescript a promo as I’ve heard from him. It wasn’t bad. HHH and Big Steph are talking to Vickie about running Raw like she hasn’t done that before. Shawn Michaels brings up power suits and does his silly schtick. He brings up Vince McMahon who has got to be behind Big Show, right? I want to spill water on my lap top again after Hornswoggle, Santino Marella & the Great Khali show up dress in Elvis wigs. Gauging out my eyes would work too.

Santino is taking on Heath Slater. They do a kung fu comedy to start the match. It’s definitely time for a #SippyTimeBeer. “This is entertainment!” from Mitchell Cool who deserves to be put thru the paces by Ivory again for that line. Elvis Cobra gets a big hoot from the commentators and no one in the crowd. A Sneak Cobra attack later wins it for Santino. He sings to Lawler after the match. JBL fakes laughs more. I hope he’s paid well to laugh at that garbage.

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Curtis Granderson Is Pissing Me Off

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Sure this is old news but I have been putting off posting about this in the hope that Curtis would come to his senses or Jim Leyland would beat his ass if he didn’t cancel on TNA.  So here’s the skinny, TNA is holding Slammiversary 7 in The Palace of Auburn Hills. They are holding it there because they love running PPV’s in arenas they can only sell one third the capacity in tickets. So, they smartly lower the ticket prices to $7.00 a pop but not before recruiting local celebs to help sell the event.

Apparently the only one that gives a shit about TNA is the best center fielder in baseball today The Detroit Tigers’ Curtis Granderson. Oh, and please stop right now if you are going to comment about Grady “I’m severely over rated” Sizemore being superior.  He may be bigger in the gay community but that doesn’t matter.

Anyway, someone in the Tigers organization better pull Granderson from this event immediately. The last time The Tigers decided to mix themselves with wrestlers they got stomped in the World Series. There were my beloved Tigers cruising along, sweeping Dusty’s Oakland A’s and looking totally unbeatable.  Then, one fatal day in St Louis a bunch of the Tigers decided to go meet some WWE wrestlers and well, I don’t; want to think about it anymore.

So I am calling on anyone in the Tigers organization to pull his ass from this. They are leading the central division by four games. Why risk ruining the season by allowing Curtis to be a part of an event that will be seen by 30,000 people (PPV and live attendance combined) at best, around the country? Please, please I am begging, pull his ass and save the season. -Jeremy

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