Stunt Granny Audio #163

Kevin and Dusty just want to say hello with Stunt Granny Audio #163. Therein they dissect the happenings of the ghoulish Halloween edition of Monday Night Raw. What did our heroes think of the integration of the Muppets onto the program? Does the Rock convey “old” better than any wrestler since Hulk Hogan? What was up with the terrible production values on this show? Who smokes more, Kate Moss, Morton Downey Jr. or AJ? What wrestler has had a Heath Slater amount of losses on television the last couple months? Are the Pittsburgh Steelers the most interesting team in the NFL? Why does John Cena *always* have to win? They delve into these issues and so much more, and it’s only going to cost you about an hour of your time, so listen or death!

Stunt Granny Show #163

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

TNA doesn't deserve the picture of a real train wreck.

I haven’t had hope that TNA would take over the WWE for prominence, probably ever. I had traveled to Altoona and barely had my wits about me when I got back. Despite doing an Impact Wrestling review, I had forgotten about Bound For Glory. It seems that TNA forgot they had a pay per view too. What a truly horrific way to finish your “Super Bowl”. Those guys don’t deserve anyone’s money. The results also make me know for sure that despite the WWE’s major slump and veering off course after giving me hope recently that they’re still easily the best wrestling product on TV. I love PWO, but they are still training people on the job who graduate up to both of these organizations. I enjoy seeing that development. Of note, for some reason or another my Twitter froze up last night (on my computer and phone) while trying to do a near delusional review of Smackdown. I hope that doesn’t happen tonight. 9:15, Let’s roll.

I get to FF to start the show. They’re trying to make it worse than TNA. Johnny Wooden GM starts us off. John, we don’t find anything you do humorous or entertaining at all despite trying to get the “irony” boos. I’m shocked that JR really shows up. When’s the punch line coming? The main event is set and I’m completely uninspired. Shouldn’t there be a stipulation that the loser leaves Raw? How does that settle their differences? Orton is introed as we hit the first commercial break. Just wow.

John Morrison gets a good pop from the Mexicans. Sheamus doesn’t do much better. The heels (Christian, Cody Rhodes & Mark Henry) come out in short order. I can’t believe that Cole had to explain to us that Lawler was put thru a table by Henry to explain why Lawler was happy Henry went thru a table. Memories are for losers. Orton assaults Rhodes so that they can make some real animosity before their match on Sunday.

We are informed that it’s now a tag team match. I’d imagine since Morrison is the only one without a PPV match, he’s taking the pin. Sheamus & Christian fight thru the crowd to take it down to one on one match. Morrison looked good in defeat. The toss into the World’s Strongest Slam was cool and most guys couldn’t pull that off.

Brodus Clay gets more hype. He needs to be on Smackdown with the other giants. Man, they expanded that. Clay delivered well. Johnny Wooden GM gets the hoochies because he’s an evil GM. Del Rio comes in. Winner gets to chose stips for the PPV. Um, don’t we need another stipulation for the match? Eve is taking on Beth Phoenix at Vengeance. She gets to beat Natalya who has been the jobber. Eve busted out some reverse Cross Rhodes reverse then a top rope moonsault to try and make herself look like a worthy in one match. The WWE even realizes it’s throwing that match together with a quickness.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Dan Hamhuis was an incredibly smooth skater.

So this blog is starting about as late as I can tolerate. I had tickets to the Vancouver Canucks at Columbus Blue Jackets game tonight. My friend Sean & I got an upgrade by way of (virtually) his in-laws, who supplied part of the metal package for Nationwide Arena when it was built so they have tickets for life. In the third row on the Jackets attack side for two periods. I always dwelled on the bad side of sitting low, you can’t see the other side of the rink. That complaint is still valid but it was cool to see the grunt work and foot work of some of the skaters. The hard work in the corners goes a bit under appreciated higher up even if you see plays develop better. I was certainly bummed that Ryan Kesler (former Buckeye) not being available for the game. The Henrik & Daniel Sedin for the Canucks and Rick Nash & Jeff Carter were a pleasure to watch for doing all the small things right. Wow. I’m never sure how people don’t appreciate the level of skill in hockey more than is widely acknowledged. Is my love for hockey that obvious, huh? Well, time to get to the wrestling love. No over run was taped. Let’s roll.

I get to FF under HHH grabs a mic. Thanks for making this review go quicker WWE. Trips gets in his pops for his ego. HHH stealing Ric Flair’s broomstick wrestling plan. By the way, don’t accuse Jackets fans of stealing chants from the Columbus Crew on Twitter. Evidently that pisses them off. Needless to say, that made sure I wore my early 90’s Canucks jersey to the game tonight. Cena arrives so he can get his share of the spot light. Everyone wants Cena to join the protest. My feed breaks up as Cena rattles off GMs. Cena stays. Yeah from the fans. This feed really sucks tonight. Stupid Wide Open West kind of sucks for HD. I hate saying bad words about them since they have had such a good product for the past 8 years. The Great White solves the feed problem. Sheamus blows HHH. Irish Yarn is staying too. CM Punk explains himself. And gets his cheap pops too. The biggest names in the company stick with HHH. Punk and his blazers crack me up. Punk doesn’t segue well.

After the commercial break, we get Vince. Cena & Sheamus are sent off so 2 guys not on the road to kill more TV time. My feed was awful tonight. I would be outraged if I weren’t half asleep already. Vince gets to can HHH. WE get an interim GM, John Wooden Delivery. The board turned off Raw when most of theirs fans did evidently.

The Superstars are idiots for being happy about this. Glad Morrison stood up to him. Too bad he’s going to get buried. Christian gets to deliver the Killswitch. JR segues into Christian by talking about Canadian Thanksgiving and schooling Cole. Glad we got that out of the way. Wow, even further buried than I expected. Why can’t JR or King point out the hypocrisy of this faction? You skipped this point on Smackdown with Matthews & Booker.

Johnny Wooden Crotch gets to suck on camera more. A video package lets me do more FF. Easy show to review so far.

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Stunt Granny Audio #159

Everyone was walking away from HHH on Raw. Does that mean there won’t be any Smackdown? Eric and Kevin don’t answer that question but they do talk about what the walk away enabled HHH to claim. Does this mean he just likes the spot light or is there something more than meets the eye? They started from the beginning of Raw though. Do Drew McIntyre and John Morrison have something in common? Which one dropped further down the depth chart? The duo moves on to talk about the heels and their law suit. The biggest talking point is the quality of some very short promos. Is a David Otunga 110% promo worth a 50% Christian promo? Does Dolph Ziggler stand out at all? Is Vickie Guerrero still the Queen of Heat? And which legendary valet does Eric compare her to? The boys finish the talk while going over the main event match that spanned two commercial breaks. Was the talent used correctly? Who got screwed for TV time? And find out whether The Great White is a racial slur or just a tease to get you to click on the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #159

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

Which level of hell did the wrestlers get to last night?

You wouldn’t believe the pathetic pictures for “Fallout” (they’re all for Fall Out Boy), “Aftermath” (Bomb photos which I wasn’t quite looking for) and “Hell” (Nothing good). So I went “Dante’s Inferno” and that’s what you get. I visited his house when I was in Florence since that is where he grew up (I’ll check on that). He did invent modern Italian with that book since it was still a collection of local dialects. Welcome to factoid day here. Time for wrestling. Let’s roll.

We get started with Randy Orton taking on “What ever happened to?” to Drew McIntyre. Orton whoops on him for a bit then starts to sell. In the mean time, Eric sends me this gem in a text “He’s now being announced as the Apex Predator? No more Viper? At least that nickname didn’t sound like a smooth pervert on Dateline NBC.” I never thought of that name that way but I could see that used for a serial rapist. Orton hits a second RKO on Drew just for shits and giggles. I love a squash match to start Raw. It just dawned on me that they started with a match. Henry shows up afterwards. A brawl ensues so that someone can prove HHH is losing control even though this type of event is a staple in wrestling.

Good on WWE to hype Smackdown and more importantly Big Show. It’d be nice if Orton didn’t spend the year just feuding with Christian and Henry. I told the WWE to shit or get off the pot with Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler and John Morrison. I’m going to say they’re shitting on Morrison. Cole making the argument I just predicted. JR disagreeing with Cole now that King isn’t there. Henry wins in our second consecutive squash match. Oh no, as scary as Henry just was I’m thinking if he starts over using “Hall of Pain” may make him popular. The WWE lulls me to sleep talking about lawsuits brought to you by bores Johnny Wooden Gobbler and Jennifer Hudson’s husband.

Del Rio is still being shoved down our throats as Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Vickie Guerrero, Christian and some Harvard grad.  Alberto is not doing well. Christian does better in 10 seconds of mic time. Cody shows off how to deliver a good promo in a weird cadence. Take note Del Rio. Dolph acquits himself well. Swagger shows why he isn’t going anywhere. The crowd boos Vickie more than anyone else. Otunga trips over his tongue 3 words into his promo. HHH shows up to save us from the terrible TV him and his wife subjected us to. Trips gives us a “Being men” speech. Easy fodder.

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Headlines: Batista Tweets about Melina, Ziggler fractures jaw, Vince McMahon goes shit-house

And then he'll have this for dessert.

According to Prowrestling.net, Batista recently Tweeted that he’s not interested in returning to wrestling and that he would entertain an offer from MMA outfit Bellator. The more interesting part of his Tweet, which just sounds kinda thrown in both in and out of context, reads:

I have no idea why WWE released their hottest Diva.

Batista is surely referring to Melina, whom he used to bang on the side when his wife had cancer and when Melina was dating current holder of the deed to the doghouse, John Morrison. What does this ultimately mean? Batista is the man, Melina is a slut, and John Morrison is a skinny punk-ass bitch who needs to cut his losses and get on with life instead of being Matt Hardy with abs. I guarantee if Morrison ever saw Batista walk around a corner, Morrison would use that stupid Parkour shit to run up the wall, but then he’d have a real eagle-eye view of Batista doing whatever he wants with his own sloppy seconds.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Dolph Ziggler suffered a hairline mandibular fracture this past Monday on Raw, but it sounds like he won’t miss much time, if any. For those of you who weren’t alive to see Mick Foley wrestle as Mankind, “mandible” is another word for jaw. Ziggler’s opponent on Monday, Zack Ryder, isn’t exactly a stiff worker, but Ziggler did take a punch to the face from actor Hugh Jackman. Or as Tracy Morgan calls him, “Jack Human.” (Click ahead to 5:40)

Finally, according to Prowrestling.net, Vince McMahon yelled at Alberto del Rio and Comic Book Guy Writer #482 backstage after del Rio mentioned Vince McMahon by name on Monday Night Raw. McMahon seems totally bi-polar (a really important attribute for a chairman and CEO) and could have easily spun around 180 degrees and kissed a Make-A-Wish kid on the head and asked butterflies to braid a retarded girl’s hair, then gone right back to berating del Rio. In fact, I’m positive he could do that, and I’d pay money to see it. There you go, Vince, book that exact segment for the December PPV and you’ve got yourself an extra buy. -Eric

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

I was forgetful last night.

I was so excited about the Night of Champions pay per view that I took the time to do a preview of the show. I even arranged my night so that I could purchase the pay per view. My neighbors and friends being around during the first hour or so didn’t allow me to blog about it although both Jeremy and I used Twitter (@Stuntgranny) as a vehicle for our thoughts. My biggest mistake though was something that we came up with a long time ago, when the pay per view looks strong, it’s going to be terrible. When a pay per view card looks weak, it’s going to be awesome. Money In The Bank was one of the few pay per views that didn’t fall into this category but it may have been elevated by the Punk vs. Cena match and ending. I will air my disagreements with most of the commentary I have read today during the blog. Let’s roll.

We got started with a short promo by Punk that got cut short by HHH. Trips gives us a triple threat Hell In A Cell match between Punk, Cena and Del Rio. They need to get to work on selling the pay per view in two weeks so good on them. Punk making a good point about HHH not being in on the conspiracy. Johnny Ace gets to bore us to death. HHH promises to fire someone by the end of the nice after Johnny is told about the conspiracy. JR gets an interview with Mark Henry. (NOC reaction: A lot of people bagged on HHH going over. I doubt we’ve seen the end of the feud as I’ve stated several times already. I am starting to wonder why I feel the need to give the WWE more rope with this angle and some of the other ones recently. I’m being overly optimistic with their recent track record. I’m unsure if it’s because I want to rage against the machine which at this point to me is other internet fans. I do see some change happening though like Ryder, Sheamus, Punk and hopefully more of Beth Phoenix.)

8 Man Tag match – I’d take it we’re getting this jamb all of these contestants together because no new feuds will develop in time for HIAC. Nice touch of Sheamus finishing Otunga in front of Christian. HHH talks to the referee (and uses a name) but wants the Miz & R Truth to talk to him. Del Rio complains. (NOC reaction: I can’t believe people complained about Del Rio dropping the title. He got very little reaction at the Raw I attended recently. He wasn’t exactly impressive when he just talked to HHH. As noted in my preview, which Money In The Bank winner had a long first title break? Plus, if Cena makes the WWE money and people are clicking off this rich snooze, why should he be champion?)

Del Rio takes on John Morrison. Wow, I check Twitter and Del Rio wins in no time flat. Hugh Jackman add. This sucks that I’ll be taping something during this whole Raw so I can’t flip to the game. I can’t wait to watch some Hawaii Five-O later though.

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