Jeremy’s One Paragraph Movie Reviews: The Last Stand (2013)

The-Last-Stand-2013_1920x1080“The Last Stand” may be one of the worst marketed movies ever. If you caught the trailer the movie looked like a screwball action comedy and that couldn’t be further from the finished product. Johnny Knoxville is in the film but his part is so miniscule it boggles the mind why he was such a focus in the advertising. What you get with “The Last Stand” is a throwback to old Arnold Schwarzenegger movies such as Commando, Predator and The Running Man. It is full of violence, goofy tag lines and action. It was fun seeing old Arnold going back to what made him famous. The old man still has it and he knows how to carry an action flick even at his age. This was an absolutely enjoyable flick and well worth catching. -Jeremy

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Even I have been bored by my site. We have been shit recently.

Let’s get this thing started. I’m starting to drink after a good work out. I was tired of not having something new on the site so even though I’m starting my viewing at 10:20 PM EST, I’m posting a running review. Hopefully this will be funny. And if you our great fans are lucky, I’ll even get to infect your ear waves too.

Jeremy and I were talking about this earlier today, Husky Harris would be an awesome addition to Nexus. He played a great dick. Barrett introduces John Cena. Jer and I also agree that it’d be great if Cena doesn’t pull the whole “Enemy Within” shenanigans. I want him beating people down. Tarver is awesome on the mic. Too bad his in ring skills are questionable. Another Jeremy & Kevin topic today. We gab like school girls sometimes. Maybe we should just post those. We tend to cover stuff we don’t get to in audio form. I like Barrett’s offer to Cena about tag partners. I guess we’ll get to see Tarver’s skills. Bourne could make him look silly. Henry will just squash him. Justin Gabriel’s hair dye looks bad but does get him around the boy band look. Why didn’t Bourne attack Taver while he yapped?

Henry doing what I expected after the commercial break. I guess Cena can’t turn right away. I’ll forgive the the short arm. Bourne’s standing moonsault is awesome. Still remember seeing that from the 3rd row or something in Detroit. Cole pulling for Cena is bizarre with his new character. Aww crap. Fucking assholes. That is lazier than our site. You get paid to write this stuff. Make it interesting.  Where is the rest of Nexus? Is Barrett letting Cena thin the herd? The crowd is going pretty solid. The GM saves the day for the first time ever. Wow, not only did the GM stop a boring beat down, he/she just made the angle interesting again. The GM must have something in for Tarver though. He got his ass beat before they intervened.

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