#TotalDivas – Season 2 – Episode 4

hawaii-beach-homesoahu

The April 20th episode was definitely an episode I didn’t think I’d witness. I actually felt like it was a bit more heartwarming than any other episode that they have filmed, though, it could be because Summer Rae wasn’t in the show at all which totally helps and there wasn’t any drama at all. Granted, there were still some completely ridiculous scenes which involved Nattie and TJ, but other than that, I actually felt for the first time the Diva’s really are normal people with everyday issues, in which you can semi-relate to on a woman’s level, so I’m sure any guy watching the episode was like, this was a stupid chick show since there wasn’t much boobs and skankiness showing up. (Kevin’s Edit: Just imagine me moving my head up and down.)

We’ll begin with Nattie and TJ as it’s the most ridiculous part of the show. So Ariane and Nikki find out that Nattie doesn’t know what Doggie Style is. Nattie get’s pretty flustered at trying to get around it but in the end, Ariane calls her sex therapist to see if she can help for Nattie and TJ. (Kevin’s Edit: I had forgotten about Ariane’s repression since she’s been hard to find this season outside of the Eva Marie pics.) Nattie says she is to busy to go see her, so she comes to their house. Upon questions about their sex life, she asks how they first got together, Nattie doesn’t seem to remember but TJ remembers the moments, really? (Kevin’s Edit: I didn’t remember when I first said “I love you” to the lady. No way he remembers that.) So the sex therapist says they need to ‘sex up’ the house. She tells them different role playing to do in the different areas of the house and awkwardly suggests they leave the front door open to have sex in their entry way. (Kevin’s Edit: I suggested it in more open places.) Nattie of course declines this idea. Nattie does think this could work as Ariane and Vincent do seem to be happier since seeing the therapist. So, as we get to see in the ‘black and white footage’, Nattie has TJ be a burglar and Nattie dresses as a skanky school girl and she has TJ break into the house through an open window. I laughed out loud at this one, good gravy!(Kevin’s Edit: It was killing me she used an old outfit from a WWE shoot.)

Eva Marie hasn’t been feeling well. I feel like this story line pops up when they aren’t sure what to put into the show. Well, this time, Eva Marie’s husband, insert name I forget here (Kevin’s Edit: You think I remember this tool bag’s name?), rushes her to the hospital as she says her stomach is huge and she looks about 6 months pregnant and is peeing blood. I have to say, that is not a good sign. The doctor says she has a cyst that ruptured. I am going to wonder about this as I’ve had numerous cysts and they rupture when you have your period, they don’t normally make you pee blood. The swelling in her stomach is extra fluid, and then on a private call from the doctor (HIPPA restricted) we find out that Eva Marie has an abnormal uterus and may never be able to have kids. Eva freaks out thinking her husband is going to go nuts cause he wants lots of kids. She finally tells him and breaks down. I actually have to give the schmuck credit in this episode for being very understanding. (Kevin’s Edit: I know I called him a tool above but he didn’t make the switch to non-meat head until helping her out as much as he did.) The worst thing a woman can be told is that she won’t be able to have kids, if she wants them. I don’t see Eva Marie as a ‘mom’ but who knows down the line. So Eva’s husband calls her Mom and her mom is really ‘frosty’ on the phone throwing it back in Eva’s face that she deserted her family to be with her husband, but then her mom says they will fly out. So her parents come, this time they don’t hide his stuff, and the parents and her husband find a truce and the dad and schmuck embrace, which is totally camera acted. (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE knows when to end feuds people don’t give a care about.) It’s hard to say what is real and what is fiction in this story line, but I felt most of it was really true. Would I want to share that on TV? No way! But I guess some people don’t mind airing their laundry for a buck.

Trinity and Jon decide it’s time to get married. They have been together for 5 years and engaged for 2. Trinity really wants Jon’s dad to be there, so at Old School Raw, they approach Rikishi after his match and they tell him that they are getting married in Maui in a few days and want him to be there. After a weird silence, he starts to get emotional and blames it on the match and then says he is so happy and will be there. This makes Trinity very happy as she wants the entire family on both sides there. They rent this gorgeous place on the beach where they will stay and have the ceremony. The night before the wedding Jon’s dad is still not there. Trinity starts asking if she’s the reason he’s not coming. Jon is very quiet and then finally tells her ‘no’ it’s because he got another gig and decided to do that instead. (Kevin’s Edit: I’m just throwing this out there because I haven’t heard an official statement from Rikishi but when you don’t attend your son’s wedding because he’s marrying a black woman, it means your a racist. White people aren’t the only ones who can be racist.) Ouch! There was talk of if he wasn’t coming because Trinity is not Samoan, but Jon says that is not the case. Jey is there with them and this is the 1st time I’ve ever heard him talk but he has some very kind and encouraging words for Jon and Trinity which is very sweet. The wedding day comes, no Rikishi, Trinity’s dad cries and Trinity looks gorgeous. Jon and Trinity are both moved by the ceremony (which I don’t think is something you can just fake) and they are now married. As they walked down the aisle as man and wife the chant of I say Uce you say O going on which was silly but fun.(Kevin’s Edit: I couldn’t stop laughing that of all people the Usos could be close to, it was Drew McIntyre who I think started the chant. The guy is even a tool off camera. The Usos need to pick friends that are further up the WWE food chain now that they won the tag titles.)

In the end, the show was pretty good, probably one of the better episodes I’ve seen since this show aired, but I’m sure it definitely won’t last long as I’m sure Summer Rae is getting ready for a come back at some point to add drama and nauseating skankiness to the show. – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Episode 13

It's never too late to post something on Stunt Granny.

It’s never too late to post something on Stunt Granny.

My apologies for not staying on track with the weekly Diva column. This write up is from the December 8 episode, which we quickly watched last night. Thankfully, I am only 1 episode behind and was told last night, the Diva’s are off till March, WOOP! So, I’ll have time to recoup some brain cells before the Diva’s return. Yea! (Kevin’s Edit: She’ll kill those recouped brain cells with cider beers.)

This weeks episode had some awkward moments in it. One that sticks out the most is  the one with Nattie and Eva Marie. Eva Marie told Nattie what a great outfit she had on (jeans and a t-shirt, really?) and Nattie said she was doing a photo shoot and then the scene just kind of ended, so either someone did a bad edit job, or the scene was a filler to get Eva Marie into more than just 2 scenes. I have to say, maybe next time just cut the scene, it wasn’t worth the minute. (Kevin’s Edit: This scene is an example of how boring Jojo is. They couldn’t make up a scene for her to be more than a wall flower.)

Nattie’s cat Gizmo passed away in this week’s episode and you see how Nattie and TJ react, awkward moment number 2. Are these two really married in real life because they don’t talk like two people in love at all. (Kevin’s Edit: You’re stealing my material lady.) They both seem so standoffish it’s uncomfortable to watch. Gizmo had a stroke and Nattie and TJ had to put Gizmo to sleep. I think the highlight of this episode is how Nattie is so upset about Gizmo dying but when she meets the girls for lunch she says ‘ So I’ll just be brief, Gizmo’s dead’…really? I’d hate to see her reaction if TJ bit the dust. ‘ So, I’ll just brief, TJ’s dead, I’ll have a salad with the dressing on the side please’. Ha ha. (Kevin’s Edit: I was doubled over in laughter reading those lines. Glad she cracked herself up too. It was really weird how blunt Nattie was.) Even Nattie’s support that TJ got back into wrestling she was like, ‘good job’. I was just like, she showed more emotion putting Gizmo to sleep than her husband getting back in the ring after a serious knee injury. (Kevin’s Edit: I couldn’t sum up all of their awkwardness better.)

Brie and Nicole had their issues in this episode. Brie believes Nicole is more into playing house with John Cena than getting back into The Bella Twins. Brie has been solo for 5 months since Nicole has been healing and getting lots of recognition to a point where the producers approached Nicole about Brie going solo since she is still healing; and having Brie due the singles match for the Diva title and not allowing Eva Marie or Nicole to go out there, was a hit to Nicole. But in the end, after all the bickering, the sisters made up. (Kevin’s Edit: I thought it was cool to see Brie & Daniel Bryan working out together. I always pay attention to see if there’s something in them that I could add into my work out. Nothing new to what they were doing. Bryan saying that Cena would laugh at the weights he used was funny and self deprecating.)

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@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Episode 12

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

There have been 9 episodes of Total Diva’s that I have written about and today’s article reaches the double digits. (Kevin’s Edit: Look at the banner lady. You’ve been in the double digits.) Last night I asked Kevin if we could stop watching Total Divas and 5 minutes into the show I realized why. The show lacks on drama and substance. I think watching two kittens play with a ball of string for 45 minutes would be more entertaining than what I had to sit through last night. The entire episode is now scripted, has boring story lines, and I think I’d rather watch paint dry.

When I first started writing these articles, blogs, whatever you want to call them, I thought the Total Divas show was going to show the life of a WWE Diva and their impact in a man’s field. Where showing your skills and working hard to get TV time would help all of us understand the difficulties in making it in the WWE Diva world. What I’ve witnessed these past 10 episodes is that these ladies live a very boring life, so the WWE has to script every scene and create instability within the Diva relationships just to give us a show to watch every week. (Kevin’s Edit: Everyone knew the WWE would pump it up but it all seems so set up to create “drama” that isn’t dramatic.) Jojo has become non-existent on the show, Nattie only talks about hoochie Eva Marie and do I need to hear another comment out of Eva Marie on how hot she is? With this being said, here is my next review on episode 10 of Total Diva’s.

We begin the episode with Eva Marie being scanned. I didn’t understand at first why she was being scanned until I saw the figure of Diva Nattie and then understood. Why in the hell are they making an Eva Marie action figure? Seriously? (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE thinks they have a heel in the making. Unfortunately, she’s unlikable and untalented. Unless you count hotness as talent.) Nattie seemed particularly taken aback by it as well. While Eva Marie is being scanned she said “Let’s make my boobs bigger so I sell more action figures and boost sales.” Of course the only man in the room piped up and said that was a good idea. Once again, Nattie calls Eva Marie a hoochie, we all know that she is, thanks Nattie for reminding us. This is where I knew the show was going to tank and asked if we could just delete it and I could make up my own story line for the blog, but Kevin informed me, that we should just watch the show. So onward! (Kevin’s Edit: The sarcasm about Nattie already makes my choice correct.)

We next have Ariane. She thinks it’s brilliant to get her tool of a boyfriend, or is it her fiance now? who knows, an appointment with a WWE trainer so they could be WWE wrestlers together. What part of this sounds staged? huh. Vincent agrees and goes to the training ring where he finds out that it’s freakin’ hard to be a wrestler and after 1  training day is exhausted and unable to even finish the routine guy is having him do. All the while Ariane is telling Vincent he’s doing good, but on the back camera says she made a mistake for this, really? Do you think so? So on day 2 Vincent once again is too exhausted to go on. Because even though he’s a big dude, it’s cardio man, it’s hard when you aren’t in that kind of shape, and the trainer tells him, he’s not WWE material. (Kevin’s Edit: I remember running Warrior Dash last year. It was hilarious to see these giant bulked up guys trying to run. They had no cardio despite all of the muscles. Vincent is the same way.) I don’t know if those are tears of joy or tears of sadness, but Vincent breaks down. Luckily, he has a backup plan to be a Hooka entrepreneur and open his own shop. Good for you Vincent and thanks WWE for a nice scripted segment for Ariane and Vincent.

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@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 11

jealousyI was informed last night that Total Diva’s has signed on for another season with E!. Does E! have any idea what they are currently airing on their station? Though, with the Kardashians having 3 different shows on the channel at any given time, maybe they don’t care what they are actually airing. As this is the time of year for giving thanks, I’d like to thank the WWE for giving us another episode of staged conversations, whips, vibrators, sex therapy and how many times Trinity and Jon have sex before Jon Uso turns into a bear. All I can think right now is, how can I possibly still be watching this disaster for 45 minutes a week.

We begin this week once again Eva Marie. She sees TJ in the ring and asks him if he will help show her some moves as she ‘idolizes’ Nattie and wants to be a great wrestler like her. Nattie sees them wrestling and gets jealous. I love how she has so much distaste for Eva Marie, she takes every chance she gets to comment about her skanky appearance. When Nattie finds out that TJ will be helping Eva Marie the next day in the practice ring, she get’s even more heated when she sees TJ’s head in Eva Marie’s breasts. Nattie says she’s not wearing a bra and says she see’s the way Eva Marie is looking at him, she goes to get Fandango to practice her moves. Nattie removes her little sports jacket and reveals just a sports top showing bare belly while Fandango takes his shirt off. After lots of quibbling back and forth and Fandango asking ‘what is going on!’, TJ leaves, Eva Marie says Nattie is Coo Coo and Nattie huffs out still jealous of Eva Marie and TJ since Nattie is the only one TJ has ever trained with (woman wise) and I guess is worried about her marriage? I don’t see how as he isn’t that attractive and she’s butch like a man, but whatever. By the end of the episode TJ tells her that she’s prettier than Eva Marie. (Kevin’s Edit: This segment was so staged. My favorite part was Norman Smiley as one of the trainers. I’m pretty sure I had read that he was there before but I had forgotten. It made the episode for me. Any woman that doesn’t look like a man would be an upgrade for TJ but Eva Marie wouldn’t stoop that low. I’m thinking she’s going for top of the roster material.)

Nikki has some decisions to make about moving in with John Cena. After John gave her the agreement for her to sign to live with him, she drove off (in our cliffhanger). We begin this episode where she pulls off to the side of the road and calls Brie. Brie was not helpful in this staged phone call and says what kind of relationship is this if John has her sign a ‘roommate’ agreement. Bryan has never asked Brie to sign one because they have an understanding and open relationship (well, I don’t think Bryan has a massive house and expensive cars as he drives around in a Prius). Nikki checks into a hotel until she can figure things out. After a few days and talking to her mom on the phone, she calls John and leaves a message. I don’t know why it took John so long to call her back (another WWE insert staged phone call here) and they have agreed to meet for dinner. Nikki tells John he’s selfish and he should have told her before she moved in that he wanted her to sign this agreement. Honestly, I can’t remember if she signed it or not, but she kept saying if she didn’t sign it, where would their relationship be? (KE: I think she packed in more sarcasm in that paragraph than I could have.)

We see a very selfish side of Brie this week as Bryan is doing massive amounts of publicity for being WWE champion and Brie doesn’t like it, and neither does Josie, their dog. I do see how Brie could be upset as when they order lunch (salads) he walks away to do a phone interview. I’m sure it could have waited, but I’m also sure the WWE wanted to create a little friction between the two since they are just so darn cute! After Brie has a conversation with Nikki, she apologizes to Bryan and they go back to being the cute couple. (KE: French bulldogs are hilarious.)

Jojo is no where to be seen. Though I was terribly surprised when she wrestled in Raw on Monday night and looked better than Eva Marie. (KE: You should not be surprised that Jojo was the better wrestler. Eva is good for nothing aside from looking hot and skanky.)

Trinity and John, not really in it this week. Trinity’s only conversation this week that I can remember was with Ariane when she says no wonder she’s grumpy all the time. There is no sex between Ariane and Vincent, yet Trinity tells Ariane that Jon’s gotta have it every two days or he becomes a bear! (KE: Good to know I have something in common with Jon Uso.)

Which leads me to Ariane. We find out in this episode that she does not have endometriosis. Which is a very painful issue women can have. She makes her way to the gynecologist who does a routine exam, where I have to laugh when she says she didn’t know she was having a full exam so didn’t shave. Can’t believe the camera caught that and who wouldn’t think they’d have a full exam if they are in so much pain. Good Gravy.  So the gynecologist does the exam and says everything seems well and then does an ultrasound where everything is ok, no issues, so the why is sex so painful and cramps so painful? (KE: I was laughing that I seemed to be told more about a gynecologist from my girlfriends, ex-wife and the current lady than Ariane knew.) Well, cramps can be painful due to the lifestyle she has as a Diva. Stress, exercise, diet, all cause bad cramps, so that’s a no brainer, sex, well that leads us to the sex therapist that Ariane and Vincent go to. He does not look pleased. Apparently, Ariana doesn’t like to think outside the box and has decided that she can do without sex. Seriously? So, the sex therapist tells her she needs to start experimenting, role playing, toys, vibrators, videos, etc. Vincent looks very happy at this suggestion. The next time we see Vincent he’s coming home with bags and said he went shopping. Well, yes, he did, to the Adult store. After he pulls out two bottles of wine, he pulls out whips, vibrators, books, gels and he looks very happy, I’m pretty sure he pulled at this huge vibrator and said ‘say hello to my little friend’ which was hilarious. So we end this episode with Ariane and Vincent yelling ‘yes yes yes’…which again is another WWE scripted scene. (KE: Vincent is still a gigantic tool but he’s big dumb ass has grown on me the last couple of weeks.)

What can I say to sum up this episode? Not much because looking ahead at the preview for next week, it doesn’t look any more enticing that this past episode. So as Thanksgiving moves closer, and I give thanks that this episode is over, I’m also thankful for Nattie’s pokes at Eva Marie, the hilariousness of Ariane at the gynecologist, and Bryan saying he is going to give Josie, the dog, a romantic butt scratch, but I’m not thankful for Nikki’s annoying baby voice and her childish bimboish mind. Happy Thanksgiving. – M & (Kevin)

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 10

Lilian Garcia Queen

Eva Marie made Lilian Garcia look brilliant.

This past Total Diva episode does not get an A for effort. Not that I expect much from these episodes, but I did feel like it dragged on and there could have been more of something, anything. Yet, we are left with an episode that focuses on how disgusting a toe fungus is, how excruciatingly annoying Eva Marie is, and Alicia Fox once again stealing the scene with a one liner. Oh where to begin….

I guess I’ll begin with, why is Jojo even a Diva when she gets no air time at all? She once again was in a tiny blurb at the beginning of the show and then just disappeared. (Kevin’s Edit: I have no idea why the WWE hired her. She’s young but it’s not like she’s a baseball player who will develop their talents in the minors. No, bigger boobs won’t help her that much.) We have Trinity, Natalia, Ariane, Eva Marie and Jojo standing around and Natalya makes the comment how she can’t wait for the match with Ariane and Trinity says to make sure she wears a diaper, as we all are reminded how in last week’s episode Natalya peed herself after Trinity got her in the gut.

Eva Marie gets a chance to be a ring announcer in the upcoming Monday Night Raw. She is excited for the opportunity until she realizes that she isn’t able to have index cards or cheat. She has to memorize everything about every wrestler to introduce them. She obviously doesn’t want to mess up after the whole fiasco about lying that she knew how to dance the Tango. So we get the entire episode of her whining about how she can’t use index cards. (Doesn’t she know that Cheaters always win?) (KE: Hey, the parentheses are my gimmick lady.) Is she really that stupid? Oh wait, yes. She finds Alicia Fox in the hallway and is excited to tell her that she is going to be introducing at Raw. Alicia informs her she better get it right, she messed up once and was almost fired! Oh, that Alicia. (KE: A big reason I love Alicia. She loves to see people squirm without being bitchy.) When the time comes for her to go on stage, she introduces the Usos correctly along with Justin Gabriel but unfortunately doesn’t introduce Jinder Mahal in the 3MB. The Diva girls watch as she makes the mistake and comment on how screechy her voice is and how no one should have to listen to that. (KE: She had no idea how to use a microphone. Don’t eat it on top of screaming. Her encounter with 3MB seemed a little too set up. Jinder looked pissed though. Heath Slater being the voice of reason yet scolding her was just too perfect.) Hilarious along with seeing if she had brought out a cheat sheet which she didn’t, as she messed up big time. I believe it was Natalya that said, “Sure glad Stephanie McMahon isn’t here tonight”. Ha ha. (KE: Maybe Steph doesn’t watch the product when she’s there. No wonder people don’t know what’s happening on Raw.) As you can imagine Jinder is VERY upset along with the 3MB. She gave her apology and excuse of why she messed up and called him ‘Ginger’ not Jinder. oops! I’m guessing that red hair killed more brain cells than we thought. But at least she didn’t cheat.

With John Cena losing the belt to Daniel Bryan and then having to have surgery with a 6 month heal time, Daniel is now on the road doing lots of appearances and talks which leaves Brie at home. Though Brie and Nikki have a sweet spot on Psych as zombie vampires that they have to go film for,  she still realizes that 13 days without Daniel is a lot of time without her honey. (KE: Psych is a lot of fun except for most of the WWE appearances. We’ll see if the Bellas can buck the trend.)

Nikki moves in with John in his massive house. She packed 26 boxes of clothes, shoes and purses. DAMN! As she is almost unpacked, John comes in with a paper and tells her to not freak out or take it the wrong way, but he needs her to sign a live-in agreement which she reads out loud that if John wishes she has 40 hours to move out of the home. She obviously feels upset and hurt and takes the paper and walks out saying she needs to think about it. UH OH Cliffhanger! (KE: In no way was this a cliffhanger despite the obvious set up that it was.)

Trinity and Jon Uso are the last on the list. Jon’s toe is bleeding and when they shoot to it, it’s nasty! Trinity finally get’s him to go to the doctor after he says he’s signing his life away by filling out the paperwork, we find out he has a fungus under his big toe, which is spreadable. After chopping half of Jon Uso’s toe nail off, Trinity asks the doctor to look at her feet and we find out that Trinity has the toe fungus too. Dude, that is just nasty! So they both leave the hospital with toe fungus cream. ha ha … Yep, superstars get fungus too. Bleck! (KE: This was the second grossest thing in this episode.)

I’m not sure how you sum up something that was quite boring and slightly disgusting. Did I forget something from the show, maybe, (KE: Yes you did, the super gross John Cena elbow surgery. I have jacked up my body more than enough, don’t mind getting hurt but can’t watch surgeries. Yuck.) I guess I didn’t talk about how Brie was talking to their Agent on the phone about bra sizes and weight and how Brie said she was 123 and Nikki said 130 and Brie looked at her ‘really?’ and then Nikkie said, ‘ok, 135’,  but whatever else I may have forgotten I’m sure Kevin will remind me. Will we get some sizzle next week as Eva Marie and TJ wrestle while Natalia gets upset? Highly doubtful but we’ll still watch this hot mess and write about it. You’re welcome WWE. – M (& Kevin)

#TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Mid-Season Finale & After Show

totally-fake-card

We finally got through the Total Diva mid-season finale. The entire episode lacked so much that when they informed us of the return on November 17, I looked at Kevin and said, “No. I can’t do it.” (Kevin’s Edit: Come on, we need a woman’s view on the site. You can’t stop now!) But alas, maybe taking a month and a half off of the show, I could change my mind, but until then, here’s the low down for the mid-season finale along with some brief attention to their 30 minute after show.

Since it’s been awhile since I’ve actually watched the show, I was thankful for their recap of the season so far, but then, it hasn’t been much of a season, so the recap was quick. It’s time for Nattie and TJ to get married. This is what the show was focused on, along with Eva Marie taking over Nikki’s spot since Nikki is out with her injury. (KE: This shows some brilliant WWE logic. Because Nikki can’t accompany her sister to the ring, someone else gets a spot next to Natalya. Alrighty then.)

We can start with Eva Marie and Jojo. This ‘friendship’ couldn’t even last the few episodes they aired. Jojo is upset that Eva Marie is getting all the attention. She attributes it to her bright ‘neon’ red hair and the fact that she has boobs. Sorry Jojo you weren’t gifted with boobs. ( KE: Just buy them like Nikki did. Think of them as an investment.) Though the two end the mid-season with deciding it’s definitely best to NOT live together anymore as Eva Marie can’t put up with her childishness, which again, she’s 19 and Jojo being jealous of all the attention that Eva Marie is getting. But as Jojo does put it ‘it’s a competition’ and I don’t know why Eva Marie thought Jojo should always be ‘in her corner’ as they are vying for the same spot as a Diva Girl.

John Cena ends up having a family reunion the same day as Nattie and TJ’s wedding. Shocked by all, we find out that John has 3 brothers and one brother has a partner. Um, OK, didn’t see that one coming. He invites Nikki to the reunion, thus, Nikki is torn cause she is Nattie’s bestie and how can she not go to Nattie and TJ’s wedding, but alas, John wins and she tells Nattie that she can’t go to the wedding. Nattie’s expression and come back was very classy as she said “This isn’t appropriate to talk about at work and I appreciate you telling me to my face” and walks away. We can all read between those lines. (KE: I understand that Reality TV isn’t real but this was so fake. Cena never has free time but with less than 2 weeks of planning, the Cena’s put together an elaborate, hard to do it only happens once every couple of years party? I’m tossing down my Totally Fake Card down.) Ha ha. Nikki informs us that John’s family is so funny and so great, yet, the entire time at dinner, she looks extremely bored and had the look of not wanting to be there. (KE: So agree with her on this point. She looked to be forcing laughter at what is surely another dick joke that his brother’s partner made while tossing his dinner salad.)

Let’s move on to Nattie’s wedding. It was definitely a wedding you wouldn’t forget. A cat being dressed up in a tux, (KE: That cat is ugly and putting clothes on it doesn’t make it any more cute.) Nattie’s mom making a hideous wedding gown thinking Nattie would wear it (KE: Don’t you consult the bride before doing something like that? Calling Bravo Sierra on this one. Totally Fake Card #2.) and the fact that Jaret actually showed his face at the wedding. I never saw any of TJ’s family. They got married in Florida and though Nattie wanted a beach wedding, it thunder stormed, so it had to be inside. Ariane brought Vincent…say what?! She informs us that he is the best thing that has happened to her and with her career as a WWE Diva, he understands her schedule. Huh. Guess we’ll find out in November if that really works. (KE: If that was a hook for next season, it’s a major fail. If it’s a woman being dumb, I’m not shocked.) Then you have Jaret pulling TJ aside to tell him that he saw Nattie in Calgary, that they have been talking and texting even in Vegas. An upset TJ confronts Nattie, yet we can tell the entire scenario is horribly staged, and she tells him he is the only one for her and then they get married. (KE: Totally Fake Card part 3.)

Their whole reception was horrible and so fake! Nikki calls and talks to Nattie during the reception and they are besties as always. Awwww. (KE: Bravo Sierra. Totally Fake Card #4.)

John takes Nikki out for breakfast, he asks her if she is happy and he then asks her to move in with him in his Florida home since San Diego is too far away and he wants to see her all the time, Um, don’t you travel together constantly? Anyhoo, she says yes to moving in.

Oh, Eva Marie gets to escort Nattie down the walk for her match, making her debut and Nattie gets the pin on Trinity, though I think that was a wedding gift for Nattie as I don’t normally get to see her win much. Ha ha. (KE: Good one.)

I forgot to mention Ariane who called Trinity in a painful panic as she was curled up with pain. After Trinity calls an Ambulance, we find out later that Ariane has Endometriosis. I’ll spare the womanly details, though Kevin was informed what the condition is, and it is extremely painful. Trinity calls Jon on the phone to tell them that Ariane is fine, she tells him it was a ‘womanly problem’ and Jon’s response was, ‘Is it a baby?’ and Trinity in her ‘tude responds ‘It ain’t no baby!’ I love those two. (KE: Favorite couple on the show, hands down.)

That sums up the mid-season finale. I’m sure Kevin will probably add this to the DVR to record on Sunday’s on E! beginning November 17, but whether I can sit and watch another few episodes of this train wreck, is still left out in space. Their preview for next season did not reel me in; so I’m just going to float out there and make a decision closer to ‘go time’.

As for their 30 minute wrap session, good gravy. They didn’t even make that eventful. You had Eva Marie and Jojo yelling at each other because Jojo never even rents a car and Eva Marie is tired of taking care of herself and taking care of Jojo. I do agree, Jojo is 19 and can take care of herself, so not sure what Eva Marie is doing being a ‘mom’ figure. Just leave Jojo alone and let her do her own thing! (KE: Eva Marie is such a dumb bell. You can’t rent a car until you’re 21. At least at Budget. I wouldn’t be able to handle living with a 19 year old.)

They talk to Nattie about Jared and how he helped her with her wrestling career, which TJ said, Jaret is a horrible wrestler and Nattie didn’t get moves from him.

John Cena came out and gave kudos for all the woman on the show, opening up their lives to them. And was extremely quick and firm with ‘NO’ when asked if he was going to ask Nikki to marry him instead of move in with him.

Ariane makes reference to her Endometriosis issue and says we need to tune in, but her and Vincent are still together.

Oh, and Jaret came out and was made to look like a total douche.

Once again, even a 30 minute show couldn’t deliver, but I’m sure they have the numbers to keep on going, because we all know the WWE Universe will make it happen. (KE: This whole after show gets a big massive, Totally Fake Card #5.) – M (& Kevin)

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