Stunt Granny Audio #260

From breakdanceworld.com

From breakdanceworld.com

After a break from talking to each other, Jeremy & Kevin are back to talk wrestling. Except that they start talking about Jeremy’s receiver and X Box problems. Did Kevin see the commercial that has caused X Box owners problems? Is that how they transitioned to talking about the studio analysts of the World Cup? What makes them different from other commentators on TV? Why did they start adding so many talking heads to College Game Day? Who does Jeremy want to get the boot? Speaking of people getting the boot, there is speculation that Josh Matthews is out of a job with the WWE. Did he ever get a fair shake? How long did he announce Smackdown? Why did Michael Cool take his spot? Do your hosts think he is finally doing a good job? How vanilla has he gotten? Does he even do play by play any more? Why did a Josh Matthews conversation turn into Michael Cole conversation? Kevin moves on to clarify his article about ROH changing world champions from Adam Cole to Michael Elgin. But this clarification turns the conversation into a talk about TNA’s bizarre decision to remove the belt from Eric Young? Why would they do it right before his television appearances for “No Limits” on Animal Planet? What style of booking led to TNA winning at Slammiversary but then dropping the belt at the next Impact Wrestling? Do the guys talk themselves into saying that Eric Young is the best option as champion in TNA? Find out the answer to that question and more when you click on the link below.

Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #RoyalRumble

game_thrones_khaleesiI caught the beginning of the New Age Outlaws eventual win over Cody Rhodes & Goldust but not the actual victory so I’ll post those thoughts after I actually watch the match. (Next Day Note: I got the chance to watch this one this morning. It was a solid match. It’s still mildly confusing that the WWE puts people, in this instance the New Age Outlawas, in a heel spot while the crowd cheers them. I also don’t like that the bevy of young teams get to sit back and watch this go on. I enjoy the NAO when they come out from time to time but I don’t want to see them on the regular. I will until Wrestlemania at least though.)

The Royal Rumble itself starts with Daniel Bryan taking on Bray Wyatt. I also haven’t done the best of watching this one either. Although as Daniel Bryan gets momentum, it’s a little odd that they’re using this PPV in particular for Wyatt’s coming out party. Bryan goes for a Yes Lock but Wyatt bites his way out of it. Jerry Lawler & JBL do a good job of covering for Bryan doing a splash instead of the Flying Goat Head butt. Wyatt turns a suicide dive into Sister Abigail into the barricade. Sister Abigail in the ring for the win. Um, okay. What does Bryan get as a return win? Why did the Wyatt Family just leave Bryan alone after the match? It makes no sense. Weren’t they promise to bring hell fire and brim stone down on Bryan?

Paul Heyman cuts a brilliant promo. He talks up Big Show then puts over his own talent in Brock Lesnar. Ben Roethlisberger is in attendance. Josh Matthews gets to play in studio host with Ric Flair, Jim Duggan and HBK. I feel like I’ve read about these segments but haven’t sat thru their uncomfortableness. It’s the exact reason I don’t watch studio shows for baseball, basketball, football, hockey or soccer.

Brock Lesnar gets a jump on Big Show. Heyman then gives him a chair. Lesnar beats down Show with the chair. JBL trying to defend Lesnar’s tactics is ill advised. I’m not sure why Mike Chioda is letting this happen. Big Show punches Lesnar after Chioda finally calls for the bell. I figured the chair would get punched into Lesnar’s face. Big Show is doing a good job of selling the chair beat down. Gigantic F5. Lesnar almost lost his balance but he kept it. Lesnar still looking worse for wear. Lesnar grabs another chair. Lesnar going out of his way to hit the back even as Big Show is laying on it. Should Stephanie come out and give Lesnar similar advice that she gave to Randy Orton earlier this week since he’s number one contender? Big show has got to be hurting. I’m not quite sure the point of this segment. I can understand reinforcing the anger angle but it drug out a bit longer than I’d like.

Solid promo out of the Shield. Seth Rollins playing peace keeper. Roman Reigns talking about his swagger was an indication he isn’t going to win. Dean Ambrose cracks me up a little bit. Randy Orton talks down all of his possible opponent. Renee Young in the leather jacket is cracking me up. Is she part of the Greasers? Randy Orton took so long getting down to the ring that I had time to drop off the scorpion peppers I ate last night. I can’t sit down. John Cena makes short order of his entrance. The beginning of this match is slow, which isn’t entirely bad. Cena cracks me up when he takes the stairs because he ducks down into them and pushes them up and away from him. (Next Day Note: Cena’s trying to make it look like it hurts more because of how far the stairs go but it just makes it look more fake to me.) Orton goes for a pin after a DDT but only gets two. I love Orton trolling the crowd. He gets an electric chair for the trolling. Cena and Orton fight back and forth. Cena’s top rope leg drop is awful. I’d have him take that out of his arsenal before any other move. A 2nd countered AA means that the third one will be the charm. Orton does the hanging DDT from the ring apron onto the floor mats. Orton rolls him back in but doesn’t get the pin. Cena locks in the STF but Orton gets to the rope. Orton hangs Cena out to dry. The referee gets knocked out. Of course this would happen in a tradition match. I feel like the WWE has gotten away from the ref bumps. I could be very wrong. Orton nails Cena with the belt. By the time Charles Robinson is awake, Cena kicks out. AA but Orton kicks out. The lady & I aren’t completely sure if the crowd is chanting “This is awful.” RKO but Cena kicks out. The lay out of this match has been odd. I thought they were getting into second gear but it jumped to third. Orton locks in the STF sleeper style. Cena transitions into a cross face. AA to Cena only gets a two count. Cena with the RKO but another kick out. Nice of Orton to jump up on Cena’s shoulders. Tornado DDT by Cena after an Orton reversal. Cena locks in the STF again. Cena drags him into the middle of the ring. The Wyatts music hits. Cena goes after the Wyatts. Randy Orton nails the RKO for the win. Orton walks out thru the crowd. The Wyatts attack John Cena. Sister Abigail. Interesting turn of events. The only reason I have to think Wyatt is a threat is his win earlier tonight, which also came out of nowhere.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Spring-Cleaning

I’ve been doing extra house cleaning to make room for my lady friend. Baby Momma Drama is supposed to be exiting to make space for her. I just finished cleaning out the pantry to make room for all of her baking equipment. I love cooking but don’t do much in the baking department. I’ve already hit my closet to make room for clothes. It’s been nice shedding stuff I haven’t worn in years. Anyway, it’s getting late enough. I got my intro in. Let’s roll.

It looks like we’ve got ourselves a dance off to start the night. I FF thru their entrances. Fandango‘s outfit is outstanding. Is Jericho‘s partner from Dancing with the Stars? I don’t care to rewind. I’m hoping they’re giving them more mic time than dance time. The old berate the woman gimmick. Nice way to go with him. If they go with Summer Rae being in on it, I’ll like it even more. Good of Fandango to finish off Jericho with the dance floor. Awesome, she was in on it.

Zack Ryder continues to get TV time as a jobber. That usually leads to some mediocre gig like 3MB. I’m glad Alberto Del Rio is on the WWE App. I’m not downloading it. I watch too much already. Ryback rules.

Tons of Funk get a very short entrance while the Prime Time Players got squat. Sweet Tea starts against Darren Young. Wow, that was worthless. Young gets the hair pick to the throat of Clay so that O’Neil can get the roll up. Unlike ROH getting something of a pass from me for the Paul London situation, the WWE in no way gets a pass for having Dolph Ziggler wrestle anytime in less than a month. Anyone that loses that much memory needs recovery time. For probably much longer than a month. Fuck Jack Swagger.

Teddy Long comes out to give the verdict. Of course the clown car out for the verdict. Number one contender’s match for Jack Swagger and Alberto Del Rio. Big E Langston takes on Del Rio or Swagger but I have to download the WWE App to vote. Piss off. No.

Dean Ambrose challenges for Kofi Kingston‘s US Title at Extreme Rules. Damien Sandow tries to sell us on his ability to beat Kingston before said PPV. Ha. Sandow is doing a much better job in the ring being convincing than with his mic work. Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere. I hope they have Rollins & Reigns go after the tag titles now so that they can all have gold. I like faction gold hoarding.

Josh Matthews gets to serve up Mark Henry‘s promo on a tee. I love the other announcers calling Matthews a moron because he is. Sheamus and Henry end up lighting each other up with straps. That should be a fun match on Sunday. They’ve been selling this PPV something fierce.

Randy Orton takes on Antonio Cesaro again. Good on Jerry Lawler and later JBL to sell their previous match. RKO out of nowhere. That seems familiar for some reason.

3MB is in the ring for the Miz. I feel like he has been missing but in no way do I care. Lawler is animated tonight, sneaking in an Indians reference. The Pirates are doing okay themselves too. Tonight was not a banner night though. Heath Slater gets to catch a beating. Kind of a cool spot having Miz toss Slater onto 3MB. It didn’t look that smooth though. Figure Four for the win. Ah, big return says Mitchell Cool. Thank you sir. He did defend trying to call the match earlier this segment. He does the right thing sometimes.

Awesome, Reigns & Rollins are going for the tag team titles on Sunday. Make like dwarves and hoard some gold. Ambrose starts the match which gets the announcers to mention the idea. Kane starts out for his team. Holy shilling the app Batman. I’d actually be up for just seeing the matches the whole way thru. Evidently it’s an elimination match so Kane got tossed right before the second break. This crowd is going nuts for Daniel Bryan. The numbers game catches up to Daniel Bryan while John Cena was taking an Edge Coffee Break (TM). Cena hulks up from the fans. Attitude Adjustment on Rollins for an elimination. Reigns gets tossed for shoving the ref. Ambrose can’t get the cheap pin though. He gets caught in an STF. Reigns & Rollins attack to cause the DQ. Triple power bomb. Ryback came down and whacked the ankle with a chair.

Ryback isn’t going to play by the rules any more. Ryback rules. Big E Langston is going to end up taking on Jack Swagger. More app TV time infill. Good to see Ziggler doing media from his place still. This match is getting nothing from the crowd. Langston makes it to the ropes while Swagger has on the Patriot Lock. I was interested to see what they’d do with him. He’s gotten some squash matches but Swagger is a step up from that. Big E gets counted out. Nice way around him being pinned. Alberto Del Rio goes on the attack. They trade finishers. Langston joins the fun. Del Rio stands tall. The crowd is still sitting on it’s hands.

AJ Lee is taking on Natalya while a zoo is on the outside including the Great Khali, Hornswoggle, Kaitlyn and the Bellas. The later three are on the head sets. The secret admirer thing is so 1980s. The Bellas still stink on wheels. Kaitlyn doesn’t know what to do on this shit show. AJ locks in the Black Window for the tap out win. Interesting. AJ’s heat is dead.

Chris Jericho tries to look serious. The camera angle was weird. The promo was okay. He needs to be more heelish.

HHH comes out. Oh boy, he became a man in the ring. He feels alive in a cage. Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman come out. Trips wants to fight. After much very good blathering, Brock doesn’t fight for free. Brock is up to 320? Ha. He’s bigger than his UFC days but not that much bigger. HHH calls him a bitch for the I don’t know how many-eth times. Lesnar acts like he’s taking the bait. Thet brawl. Not like we haven’t seen it before. Brock better win on Sunday. Even steven booking agrees with me. -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Smackdown

From theChive.com

Tonight feels like an “Old School” night even if that only means going back six months. I’m sitting here in my condo by myself not doing a whole lot of anything on a Friday night except watching wrestling. I have a review in the dashboard ready for posting about Grand Canyon University which is the location of TNA’s Bound For Glory. I just watched Impact Live and have a nice slew of Tweets to prove it (Hint: @Stuntgranny). Now it’s time for Smackdown. Such is my life.

Good opening segment with Big Show, Sheamus and Booker T. I like doing something to further the feud without have a physical confrontation. Even though they created the artificial buzz for the WMD vs the Brogue Kick. Nice to keep Sheamus occupied with Tensai to keep him away from Show and to finish their match from last week. Too bad Tensai is going to take another loss.

They did not waste any time going with the rematch after the break. I liked Sheamus pacing like a caged animal. Josh Matthews corrects me and says that Sheamus Brogue Kicked Tensai during his match with Big Show last week. Whoops. JBL is doing a great sales job again on Tensai. I have liked his in ring work more recently. Too bad the WWE keeps having him job to high ranking guys. Brogue Kick for the win. Nothing special but Alberto Del Rio bossing around Ricardo Rodrigeuz may have been his best mic work in the WWE.

Ricardo is looking for Randy Orton when he runs into Santino Marella. Ricardo sold that but that was Santino’s best work in a while. Heath Slater & Jinder Mahal are teaming but they get some mic time first. Oh my lord, they’re doing group air guitar now. They didn’t really say why they were together but Mahal hinted at it. The WWE 13 commercial with CM Punk may have robbed a lot of work from Hitler, but it came out cool. It fits Punk’s earlier character.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

There are two lessons to be learned from this weekend. The more important lesson is above. After the age of twelve, you should never go anywhere dressed up like your “hero”. This act automatically makes you more than a douche bag. You go straight to douche duffel because your doucheness can not be confined to a simple bag. Just in case you’re not familiar with the impersonation above, Google Rickie Fowler. He has a fantastic child molester mustache. The second lesson from the weekend should be a common theme here on my blog, Kent State kicks ass. On Friday, the baseball team (ranked #25) toppled #13 Kentucky in a twenty one inning  marathon. On Saturday, they beat the hosts of the regional round, #11 Purdue, 7-3. On Sunday, they did what they couldn’t do last year. They punched their ticket to Super Regionals this coming weekend by beating Kentucky 3-2 in nine innings. I debated traveling to see them play but they will be taking on the #10 Oregon Ducks in Eugene. That flight is a bit much for a three game series. Let’s roll.

My cable is blowing currently. Good thing it’s recap of Big Show boring me to death last week. Mitchell Cool gets introduced for some reason. Oh, he’s going to act pompous to John Cena. I can’t wait. (I’m being so sarcastic.) Cool delivers the pompous. My TV is still gacking up. Cena makes a great defense case. Cool is still avoiding why Johnny Wooden GM still has a job. He defied the Board’s ruling! Cool is heeling it up well. Cena is still making better counter points. Johnny comes out. Cena milks his choice of Mitchell Cool. Did Cool get divorced? He doesn’t have his ring on.

Mitchell Cool complains to Johnny backstage. There is a rumor about a job evaluation. It’s sort of a fun yo-yo effect that they have going with the evaluations but it’s still dumb. If you need to be checked on every other months for more than six months, you should be fired. Vickie Guerrero comes out to introduce Dolph Ziggler. He has a rematch with Sheamus. I’m not sure why Lawler isn’t throwing more of “I’m undefeated or awesome” whatever Cool bragged out. If someone isn’t feeding him those reminders, they need to be canned too. Commercial break.

We resume with Ziggler in control. The woman can’t stop talking about Vickie’s boobs. She finally realized that she may not be wearing a bra. White Noise then the Brogue Kick. My boy’s move to the singles division has not gone well. Ziggler needs to start winning. Alberto Del Rio attacks Sheamus on the ramp. Del Rio locks in the cross arm breaker for which he won’t get in trouble. But Johnny’s show is much less lawless than HHH’s. (Even more sarcasm.)

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

This pizza is a real product brought to you by Pizza Hut. Please don't buy from them any more.

I already want to toss my lap top thru the front window because of the Three Stooges hosting Raw tonight. Not a good start to the show. Then we got Johnny Wooden GM introducing a Brock Lesnar video package. I’m mildly amused that Johnny used the “legitimate” athlete line since the WWE is always trying to convince us that their wrestlers are “legitimate” athletes. I agree with the sentiment but shouldn’t you be less offended when people say that when you admit it? I also like that Brock has no catch phrases. Let’s see if they make chicken salad out of chicken shit with his first mic work. John Cena interrupts as Brock starts to talk. Nice, Cena just slaps him. Wow, the locker room empties. It gives it a better feel when it isn’t just refs. The WWE is more guilty of that than TNA. Less than fifteen minutes.

After seeing the replays, it looks like Lesnar popped him good that first shot then remembered he wasn’t in the UFC. We get our first yelling at of Teddy Long by Johnny. I’m so excited about this story line. Eve Torres wants to meet with Johnny. The Funkasaurus is up again. Santino tags along. Vickie introduces her clients Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler. Poor Dolph has pink sun glasses. I’m starting to worry about picking my boy Dolph as the Money In The Bank winner. I was hoping to see Brodus sell more but they go to commercial. Those evil dirt sheets said that Vince was worried about his in ring work. Selling is the harder part, to me. Just like playing defense in a “legitimate” sport is harder because it’s always more fun to play offense.

After the break, Santino is selling. Damn it. Mitchell Cool selling Swagger’s new hairdo. Ugh. If his selling point is his hairdo, Swagger has much, much bigger problems. Brodus gets the hot tag and finishes off my boy in no time flat. I’ll be fine when his act gets cut down time wise. Johnny tells the Miz they can talk next week. Johnny yells at Teddy Long. Cena says he likes to hit and be hit. Cena asks to be put in a match. Johnny feeds Otunga to Cena. Santino asks Tyler Reks & Curt Hawkins where the Three Stogges are. Doesn’t any type of air time mean they’ll get ring time soon? Another tag team that’ll challenge for the belts in no time flat.

Santino is still looking for the Stooges when he runs into Kane. People love his prance out. The Stooges are on Raw tonight yet they haven’t been on TV in the first thirty eight minutes of a two hour show. R Truth takes on Cody Rhodes. Oh, Smackdown is live? I got the legend’s part taken care of. We get more repeat angle from Big Show who taunts Rhodes. R Truth wins. Santino apes a line from “A Christmas Story”. The Stooges are in the aped crate. They use all the same tricks that don’t pack half of the humor.

For some reason, Yoshi Tatsu challenged Lord Tensai. He is not getting much of a reaction. A squash, even thru TKO, shouldn’t take as long as it did last week. The crowd chants “Albert”. Just say his name on TV and get it over with. The announcers are doing their job. The match was faster but the crowd is still not caring.

CM Punk comes out to explain himself. Punk is mad because the first thought thru his head was “I smell like my father did.” The crowd chants “CM Punk”. Not exactly the reaction he wanted, I’d guess. Chris Jericho asks if he’s still hung over. He then asks if he’s drunk. I love it. They’ve talked me into this angle. The CM Drunk thing is so hack. Punk is going to take out his frustration on Jericho. Chris looks nonplussed. Mark Henry comes out. We get commercials.

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Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

Jeremy was Mushmouth. Feel free to assign me a character from Fat Albert.

So Jeremy and I went longer than expected recording our Wrestlemania previews. We still have another two to do. Have fun figuring out which preview Jeremy goes Mushmouth on. So because that went late and my Boxer Cayenne decided to take an exceptionally long time to soil the lawn in the condo complex. I’ll catch up because we’re six days away from Wrestlemania. There’s even less days until Jeremy and his woman arrive in Cbus. Time for wrestling. Let’s roll.

Why is Mitchell Cool excited about Booker T being in the announce booth? We start off with Randy Orton & Sheamus against Kane & Daniel Bryan with AJ. Jerry Lawler called out Cool on his switched stance on Daniel Bryan but he can’t be bothered to really fight back Cool’s claim of stating facts and being a great journalist. Commercial break. I love Orton’s drop kick. It’s been a little odd that the opponents at WM have wrestled large portions of this match against each other. Sheamus gets pinned after AJ interference. Even steven booking means Sheamus gets the win. I might have picked differently in the show that was posted earlier today. We get John Cena vs the Rock build up by video.

Mitchell is in the ring and dons a Team Johnny shirt. He’s their official commentator. Well, you are the WWE’s announcer so you’d be there anyway. Cool introduces Johnny Wooden GM. Vickie Guerrero is a flag bearer. Booker introduces Teddy Long before Johnny gets to say anything. Santino Marella is taking on David Otunga. Cool goes Mushmouth after he was trending on Twitter. Otunga pays too much attention to the flag & Hornswoggle. Cobra. Teddy & Johnny wouldn’t actually be in the match, would they? Johnny announces that the Miz is the last member of Team Teddy, more Mushmouth, Johnny.

More video package for Cena & the Rock. Hey, we were there. Dusty was with us in spirit. More video package, just for the Undertaker, HHH and Shawn Michaels. I’m starving. Unlike Jeremy, I don’t have someone that can serve me food. I haven’t taught the dogs how to deliver food yet. They only deliver it to their stomachs. Time to grab something.

Eve Torres came to the ring with Beth Phoenix because we’re supposed to care about the Divas. No surprise that Maria Menounos can’t get away from that hectic schedule on Extra to join Kelly Kelly for this match. Eve misses the top rope moonsault so that KK can mess up a roll up. That match is going to be a train wreck. Chances are good that Maria won’t wrestle as well as Snooki. Say, did you hear about this match between John Cena and the Rock?

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Kevin’s Blog: #Smackdown – For The Hell Of It

Just trying to get up as many review as possible since it’s the busiest time of the year. Since I’m so late on this show, I’m going speed demon style. If for some bizarre reason you don’t scroll down until you see an article you’ve read already, please do so now. Dan, Dusty & Eric did an audio about the Hall of Fame inductees. Let’s roll.

Daniel Bryan comes out with AJ. He wants to know how AJ feels to be in love with the World Champion. She tries to get out extra info but he shuts her down. Sometimes they spoon. Hilarious. She really enjoys cuddling. I can’t stop laughing. He’s a great lover too. I like that they’re shifting her character up a notch. She felt like a novelty. Sheamus shows up. He calls Bryan a coward. Nice of Bryan to make his own chant “Danny” by emphasizing Daniel. Slick little trick. Sheamus is the Irish version of John Cena with the wise cracking then serious tone.

R Truth is taking on Mark Henry. I hope this is a squash match. The crowd sweetener is on something fierce. They’re giving Truth some offense. Cross body into the World’s Strongest Slam.

Zack Ryder rally & a mascot isn’t big enough for Teddy Long. The Great Khali acts like Ryder. He looks more natural in the get up than Robbie T. Zack & Khali are added to Team Teddy.

The Bellas get an inset promo. Brie doesn’t need Nikki’s help against AJ. The announcers are trying to do something coherent about AJ but it’s failing. Her character is still being developed so it’s hard to argue. AJ had an arm bar locked in. Double distraction. Brie runs into Nikki. AJ gets the roll up. The Bellas disagree about a lot of things. They will be rooting for different teams at Wrestlemania. The sheep may actually be chanting Team Teddy. Weird.

Vickie Guererro intros Jack Swagger but I blow right by it. Zack Ryder is his opponent. Hornswoggle is at ringside with his Team Teddy flag. Mitchell Cool is running down Team Teddy. On paper, Cool is right. Swagger has been a waste of space for at least a year now. Dolph Ziggler hasn’t really accomplished anything yet. This crowd is sitting on it’s hands even as Ryder is on offense. Swagger kicks out of the Broski Boot. Powerbomb into a Swaggerbomb only gets a two count. Vickie’s distraction back fires. Ryder with the Rough Ryder for the win. The crowd is fist pumping. We get replay of Cody Rhodes and Big Show. Matt Striker talks to Rhodes. He talks about Show being a choke artist at Wrestlemania. Big Show is the WWE’s biggest fool. Rhodes is doing a good sell job.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Smackdown

I'm pumped for the beginning of the season tomorrow. Thanks to thecrew.com for the picture.

The Columbus Crew starts their season tomorrow at the Colorado Rapids. I’m excited for the season. I’ve gone to as many games as possible since I moved here which happened to be the same year the MLS started play. (Edit: The Crew started playing at Crew Stadium when I moved here. It’s the seventeenth season of MLS. Two different things. As usual, I’m an idiot.) I’m extra excited this year because I have season tickets. If you want to check out some reports, give my friend Patrick Guldan and his band of writers at Massive Report a view. Most of you have probably read more about soccer in the above paragraph than you will the rest of the year. I’ll finally get to wrestling. Let’s roll.

Johnny Wooden GM kicks off the show with a cage match between Santino Marella and Jack Swagger. Nothing happens until Santino tries to escape. Swagger turns him into a lawn dart. My boy Dolph gets tossed from ring side at the commercial break. Swagger still has the Johnny mock hair cut. Never sure why people try to go over the cage. It’s so much easier to go out the door. I’d be fine with the stipulation that you can’t win by going thru the door to cover that loop hole. Vickie accidently nails Swagger, Santino gets the duke. They’re either trying to protect Swagger or make Santino look weak. I’m not sure why they’re doing the former and it’s dumb to do the later. Mitchell Cool calls himself Walter Cronkite. Unfortunately, Josh & T don’t call him out on his way outdated reference. Cool does it all the time. He should get his verbal beating.

We get replay of the ending. Again. And more Johnny & Otunga, aren’t we lucky? Johnny threatens Kane vs Aksana. Um, why didn’t Teddy argue how bad it’d look to the board to have a 300+ pound man against a woman? Granted, the board is a bunch of dolts. If Teddy wins, Aksana wrestles Kane. Is he trying to look horrendous to the board?

After FF thru the UT/HHH/Michaels, I’m already thirty six minutes into the show. I’m only twenty minutes behind now. Chances are good I catch up soon. Drew McIntyre is here because of Johnny Wooden GM. He’s going to get his job back if he beats a jobber. Oh, it’s the Great Khali. Three little kids like him, they’re the only ones the camera men can find. Otunga introduces McIntyre’s real opponent, Hornswoggle. Johnny got the opener right but he’d be fired in any real job for the remainder of the program. Drew pulls Hornswoggle’s shoulders off the mat. The ref does the right thing and calls the match. Again, stressing how bad this decision is to the board, why would they like someone to be rehired who can’t match their salary? Teddy is lacing up his boots. Aksana pleads to him. Teddy is going to teach Johnny a lesson.

Johnny is warming up in the back. Mr. Excitement is living up to the mock nickname. Ezekiel Jackson is taking on Mark Henry. Zeke gets to stay a jobber. They talk up Henry’s accomplishments in power lifting.

Johnny with Otunga is set to take on Teddy with Aksana. When is the switch happening to Kane vs Teddy? Johnny tries to talk sense into Teddy. Why are neither Booker or Josh arguing how bad this would look to the board? Dumbasses. Orton RKOs Kane. Teddy rolls up Johnny and gets the win. Teddy & Aksana flee. They do the smart thing and leave the arena. Kane is still down after a single move. Pretty dumb in its own regard.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Smackdown

For Fry The Delivery Guy

After making myself some an excellent Lenten meal (buttered whole wheat noodles with garlic, basil, olive oil, Parmesan and Romano), cleaning up and getting the dogs to zonk out, it’s time to resume another TV review from yours truly. Fry pushed for me to do it for Smackdown more often. I had mostly been drinking too much the last two Fridays to do so. Saturday is usually a busy day with gym, then work then making a large meal to act as lunch the following work week. By the time Sunday rolls around, I feel like it’s too late. It’s almst over as I start this so I won’t play on Twitter but that will make the viewing go slightly quicker. Let’s roll.

Nice little video package for the main event between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton. Sheamus is the first face in the ring. What the hell is up with the blue mood lighting? Is it supposed to make him look less white? I like that he’s comparing himself to Bryan in letting the title going to Bryan’s head. A little wonky. He felt like he wanted to tell an Irish story but he skipped it. Vickie Guerrero interrupts. My boy Dolph Ziggler gets to run down Sheamus before he loses to him. Vickie has to run down Teddy and go with Johnny Wooden GM. She needs to throw her hat in the ring. Make it a three party race. No match, right to commercial. Welcome to Smackdown where you don’t need a hook of some early action before the break.

The GM switcharoo would mean something if they hadn’t been running super shows for nearly a year straight. Mitchell Cool is defending Bryan. Josh & T don’t note the flip flop. Oh, Vickie put her candidacy on Twitter. #CougarInCheif. We’re @Stuntgranny if you were wondering. Vickie put Dolph’s leg on the rope. Dolph has gotten in enough offense. They just gave him another near fall. He has got to be a MITB winner this year. The White Noise. I do like the change in finisher. That looks safer, but weaker. I love to FF thru the many replays. Johnny Wooden GM is looking for an apology from Teddy Long. David Otunga is getting a bit better. Teddy won’t apologize. I want Teddy bad but I know I’ll be disappointed. I will be glad we only have one GM. I’m done with this interim GM stuff with more logic holes than Swiss cheese.

Another replay package. Can’t wait to sit thru these live in a couple of weeks. Heath Slater takes on Santino because the Cobra spit on him. Slater is the new age Barry Horowitz. I love it. That’s all I had to write for that segment. Piccolo.

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