Son of a bitch, Jeff Katz steals Shawn Daivari from me for Wrestling Revolution project

*sniff sniff* "Smells like money over here."

You cut right to the heart of me, Jeff Katz: According to Prowrestling.net, Katz announced that the eighth cast member of his Wrestling Revolution project is Shawn Daivari.

We couldn’t be more proud to showcase the completely terrorist and sheik-free talents of Dara “Shawn” Daivari in the WRESTLING REVOLUTION PROJECT.

I didn’t win the lottery fast enough: Katz has nabbed some serious free-agent talent for this project, including Colt “Your Stuff is in the Mail, Jeff Brown” Cabana, Kenny Omega and Ken Doane (as well as former WWE superstar MVP). If he’s able to pull the Human Tornado out of retirement and convince Mike Quackenbush to work for him along with running Chikara, I’ll eat my hat and urinate on my fantasy booking notebook. (P.S. Would I have made Daivari into a stereotypical sheik character? Of course! The Sheik of Freakish, Sudden Musculature. License to print money.) -Eric

Headlines: Colt Cabana wrestles WWE dark match, Kenny Omega wrestles 9-year-old girl

Make this thing go viral! According to Prowrestling.net, Kenny Omega wrestled a 9-year-old girl for the new Stardom promotion in Japan. This clip is the best thing to happen to wrestling and YouTube since those Chikara or CZW or whatever guys wrestled hypnotized.

In other most excellent news, according to Prowrestling.net, Dr. Colt Cabana wrestled a dark match at last night’s WWE Smackdown tapings. He lost to Wade Barrett. Cabana has been in the news lately, including on the front page of TMZ.com, thanks in part to his friendship with CM Punk and thanks in part to his generally being awesome. (“Nick Bockwinkel has old balls,” anyone?) Now keep in mind there’s always the possibility someone sent in a false report to stir up the hornet’s nest known as the Internet Wrestling Community. But the difference between hornets and the IWC, as it’s known, is that hornets are productive as predators of plant-eating insects, whereas the IWC is full of predators of Funyuns and Mountain Dew. -Eric

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