@WWE #RoyalRumble Rewind

Rumble Fish from Hollywood.com

Rumble Fish from Hollywood.com

Jeremy:  Nice. So…..that was a disappointing ppv. Entirely un interesting outside of Brock and Wyatt matches.

Kevin:  I want to re-watch the Bryan vs Wyatt match. I didn’t get a good feel for it trying to settle in. Interesting time though to have Wyatt finally get a big win when he has no momentum.

 Jeremy:  I loved it. Didn’t mind the finish as well. Wyatt is and has been really good. The Trimble bites me to tears. I dozed off for some of it
 Kevin:  Of that match or just the end of the Rumble?
 Jeremy:  Entire thing. There were no interesting surprise. Batista was so winded I felt. Out of breath. Cena vs Orton was so fucking terrible it killed any momentum going in to the Rumble.
Jeremy:  I was shocked how bad it was. Cena/Orton. There was no chemistry last night.
Kevin:  Wanted to check what I wrote. It felt disjointed. First gear for a long time then jumped to third gear and fourth quickly.
Jeremy:  They kept doing each others finishers with no drama. The Wyatt interaction gives me hope.
Kevin:  With Cena? I’d settle for some consistent story for the Wyatts. My guess though is the Bella Twins get in trouble and Cena & Bryan need to make up and play nice to fight off the Wyatts.
Jeremy:  Hmm. Maybe but that is a huge step down for Cena.
Kevin:  So taking on the Wyatts by himself is a step up? The group that has already been infiltrated and haven’t won anything significant yet except for the match last night?
Jeremy:  No it isn’t really. That was the strongest Wyatt looked though. Cena on his own in a mid card match is weird enough. A mid card tag match is even lower.
Kevin:  I guess singles matches are marginally a step up. Story trumps the singles vs tag team situation to me in this instance. Bryan can still be mad at Cena for not saving him. They can drag that out. Will they be able to function as a team? All the usual shenanigans that go on with those types of stories.

Jeremy:  They can tie it in to Total Divas. I am just happy Wyatt seems to have a focus now. Giving him to Cena is huge for him.
Kevin:  What direction is that? Try to recruit someone, get rejected and lose to them with last night being the first victory?
Jeremy:  Yup. Baby steps. He got over on the guy who betrayed him. He had to look strong if he is facing Cena. Beating Bryan was a good step, especially clean. The guy that beat Cena and Orton clean must get beaten clean.
Kevin:  I just feel like it’s a “You got lucky” win even though it wasn’t presented that way. Wyatt hasn’t done squat in the ring but I’m supposed to believe he had a somewhat easy time beating the hottest guy in the company?
Jeremy:  I wouldn’t say it was easy. That was a damn hard hitting match. Very physical with both men looking strong. So Wyatt winning an even match was a good idea. You are correct with Wyatt not doing squat in ring. You apparently forgot the inferno match.
Kevin:  Okay smart ass. He beat Kane with help from Harper & Rowan. All of the Wyatt bashing I did too, doesn’t mean I think he’s done a poor job. Enjoyed the promos and the limited in ring work, I just think more of it is needed before they go for the jugular against the big boys.
Jeremy:  That was more me agreeing. Since that may be it. Him getting hurt didn’t help. They hot shot people at weird times. This may just be an Elimination Chamber match. What you think of Rusev? He gets the big thumbs up here. After only hearing his name and his praises it was nice seeing him deliver. He didn’t look lost out there.
Kevin:  He looked pretty damn good. Hard to judge too much with it not being a conventional match. His build reminded me of Taz if he were 6″ taller.
Jeremy:  Yeah he had the old school monster heel going. Hmm, not a bad comparison. I was disappointed to see him get tossed.

Kevin:  He was one of the few surprises. Nash was the other one. Neither lasted all that long.
Jeremy:  Nash was a big surprise. I expected more of a crowd reaction. If he had gone right after Punk then it would have worked for me in a larger storyline purpose.
Kevin:  Yeah, I felt like they passed on moving along story lines in this Rumble except for pumping up Reigns with his 12 eliminations.
Jeremy:  Right. I never once thought Reigns would win but he looked good. Is it too much to ask that he takes on Big E?

Kevin:  During the Rumble itself or are you thinking singles match at WM?
Jeremy:  Singles for WM. Big E is under rated doing his work. He is huge and doesn’t get blown up in ring unlike a certain asthmatic returning Royal Rumble winner. Can we copyright Royal Fumble? Auto-correct apparently saw the PPV.
Kevin:  Ha. Almost surprised I haven’t seen that before. I’m not sure it’s a fumble so much as not the way I’d do things. An Evolution show down isn’t near the main event Rock vs Cena is.
Jeremy:  Not at all. As a fan of Batista though I don’t mind. An if his reported actions after the show are any indication he is heeling it nicely. Picking up where he left off. Arrogant heel Batista is money. Maybe he can get Orton to show some life.
There is money in a Batista/ Bryan feud as well. Total contrast but they could pull it off.
Jeremy:  So are you in panic/ anger mode like so many?
Kevin:  So, where do I go now to find out people are panicking? Not that all of the people on FB are in agreement with every decision the WWE makes, but no one seemed to blow up there about Bryan not winning. So if I don’t see an over reaction there, I don’t know one is going on. To answer your question directly, it’s Wrestlemania season. The WWE writers have their thinking hats on, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt until April 6th.

Jeremy:  I am in same boat with you. Thought the Rumble was boring and it has made me apprehensive for WM. The Brock Lesnar match made it pretty clear he is taking on Undertaker which should be good. The freakout from Foley and a lot of fans is what I was referring to.
Kevin:  I was wondering what you meant about the Lesnar match. I did read Big Show may be injured so that makes sense why the match went the way it did. I would like to see the WWE pull the trigger on someone like Bryan but I’m not pissed about it either. I doubt the WWE will keep Bryan down if he continues getting this reaction over even more time.
Jeremy:  Needs to have a consistent push in order for the variables to kick in. I did not see Big Show was injured so yeah makes sense. Bryan also needs the opportunity to talk. He hasn’t had nearly enough. When he has he has been good.

Kevin:  Plus, he has the Total Divas arm candy. If that show continues to be successful, Bryan won’t have any problems.
Jeremy:  Is it sum be to think there is a master plan? Foley and Bryan going to twitter seems to be a WWE thing. They are all about social media.
Kevin:  There’s that aspect too. Are they actually working us? I don’t know. At some point though, continuing to tease without a pay off will get you eaten by the wolf.
Jeremy:  Yes exactly.

Weekend Rewind – Jim Ross, Impact Wrestling on Tour, AJ Styles and More

what_goes_on_tour– I am kindly requesting that anyone using Twitter stop asking Jim Ross if he’s going to be at “Insert WWE Event Here” in this case Old School Raw. The WWE doesn’t want him around. If you ask Ross this question, I will be sure to send one of our minions out to chop your fingers off. If you then get skilled enough to type with your toes, I will send out another minion (I can’t have them get noticed) to remove all of your toes. If you’re so dedicated to professional wrestling and learn how to type with your nose, you will be killed by a third minion then dropped off in the bed of the next person that asks Jim Ross whether he’ll be at the next event in Oklahoma City.

– I read on Prowrestling.net, by way of PWInsider.com, that TNA Impact was unable to secure a sound stage at Universal Studios. I’m sure everyone believe Dixie Carter and her mother now that they’re not looking to sell the company. I’m sure every business is turned away by their largest supporter.

– Speaking of TNA, our good buddy Jeff Jarrett will return to the ring with his lovely wife Karen Jarrett for USA Championship Wrestling. I’m sure it’s just a primer for his special Royal Rumble appearance. I’m sure everyone would mark out for him like they did for Kevin Nash when he came back. Except they’d mark out for Jarrett when he’s the fastest man ever eliminated.

– I hate headline writers. I mention this because there was a header on Dot Net “ROH New: Current Champion Unable To Appear At Television Tapings” which I was bummed about because I thought it meant no Adam Cole. He is one of the few things to look forward to watching that dreadful product. Fortunately, the headline was marginally misleading because it was Kyle O’Reilly, half of the tag team champions, who won’t be at the tapings. I do like him as a wrestler but reDRagon has barely been on TV recently. No big loss. We’ll get to see another dozen matches between C & C Wrestle Factory and umm, hmmm, since ROH has the greatest tag team division in professional wrestling.

– Since we hop scotched over to ROH, let’s talk about AJ Styles. If for some reason you didn’t see Roderick Strong incorrectly hold onto Styles’s legs during a Styles Clash go to jdew1492’s Instagram account. I’ll hope that all of that working out he does in his gym in Tampa included neck strengthening exercises. If he’s out for an extended period of time, at least AJ Styles can rip off Zema Ion’s angle when he broke Jesse Sorensen’s neck. Should we take bets on whether ROH would let Roderick Strong go like TNA did to Sorensen? I’m sure Dan Kuester can give us a good over under for that bet. – Kevin

Headlines: Kurt Angle tears groin, Evolve/DGUSA make huge (read: small) announcement

According to Prowrestling.net, Kurt Angle tore his groin during his match at TNA Final Resolution this past Sunday. Important things to note here:

  • Angle turned 44 on Saturday. That doesn’t make him old, but that doesn’t make him young.
  • Angle continues to bang himself up – knees, hamstrings, groins – to the tune of a lot of money and to the delight of, what, 1,400 fans worldwide?
  • When we make fun of wrestlers being fragile, we compare them to Kevin Nash, because his injuries all seemed to happen in WWE. We ignore Kurt Angle, because he’s basically wrestling in Dixie Carter’s back yard, so it doesn’t count.

Angle tweeted that he’d wrestle through the injury because he is a “cyborg.” According to Wikipedia, one characteristic of a cyborg is that “Cyborgs in fiction often play up a human contempt for over-dependence on technology.” We all know Angle very much entrenched in his own fictional world (or, as I like to call it, full of shit), so this is in direct conflict with his over-dependence on the technology of Twitter. Time to close the account!

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Evolve announced Saturday at its iPPV, “18” ( :-S ) that it had a huge announcement: John Morrison and the Young Bucks are headed back to Evolve/DGUSA in 2013! Holy cotton balls! The money I didn’t spend on Evolve 18 almost cowered in my wallet out of fear that I might yank it out and plop it down on a PPV featuring three guys at a total combined weight of 412 pounds and a total combined skill level of Paul Roma.

No one outside Twitter or “Z True Long Island Story” has seen hide nor hair of John Morrison in six months (CWF SuperClash does not count), and the last notable thing the Young Bucks did was piss off Booker T, the nicest guy in wrestling. Here’s hoping the Internet doesn’t erupt when all 1,399 people order that show! -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio #197

Sweet Jesus this has to be a special occasion as Stunt Granny presents Stunt Granny Audio Show #197: The Asshole Edition. Yes, that’s right it is Eric and Jeremy bringing all sorts of opinions that you won’t agree with at all. Well too bad, the boys discuss Eric’s plan to sell his Masters of the Universe figures. Is now a good time or should he wait for the movie? They also discuss WWE firing Abraham, Washington and why it was totally justified. They then take great joy in the comic stylings of Brian Jossie. Wait, did Stunt Granny join Tout? What the hell did Kevin Nash do this week to be discussed and how does he tie in to CM Punk and Kurt Angle. Not to be left out Ring of honor takes a beating as does their champion Kevin Steen. Why? Why would we do this? Well, all you have to do is listen.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #197

Stunt Granny Audio #195

Serious business goes on at Kevin’s workplace.

Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #195

@PRIMEWrestling – Season 5 – Episode 19

Joe Dombrowski & Aaron Maguire introduce the show. Jimmy Jacobs will be defending the PRIME Wrestling Title against Louis Lynden. Mr. RBI is taking on Jason Bane. Sex Appeal, Bobby Beverly & Bobby Shields, are taking on Corey Winters & Ben Fruith to kick off the show. Corey Winters starts out against Bobby Shields. Sex Appeal took control early. Beverly was acting weird because he kept getting orders from Shields. Winters backed Beverly into his corner and tagged in Fruith. They double team Beverly with a flying knee. Sex Appeal took back over with Shields shouting more orders to Beverly. Fruith flipped out of a back suplex and tagged in Winters. Beverly was on the receiving end of a Cutter. Shields blind tagged in. Shields gave Fruith a Body Bomb for the victory. Shields ordered Beverly out of the ring to grab scissors. They cut off the bangs for Fruith. Winters chased them out of the ring with a chair.

Analysis: They told a solid story with Sex Appeal. Fruith looks like he’s put on a few pounds which isn’t a bad thing. The wrestling was fine but I always find it odd when tags are made as frequently as they were in this match. It doesn’t give anyone much rest time on the apron which is the purpose of tagging out. Score: +1.

They showed a replay of Michael “The Bomber” Facade winning the TV Title last week. He then gets a crack at the mic. Facade talks about taking a long time to accomplish his goals in PRIME Wrestling. He said he’ll be a people’s champion. Facade wants to stand up for everyone being bullied on the roster. Louis Lynden said that he’ll be entering his prime when he takes on Jimmy Jacobs. Analysis: Facade’s promo was average. Lynden was the main talker when Flip Kendrick was around. He seemed a little lost. Score: 0.

Bryan Castle introduces Dan Arkham, who is wearing a Batman shirt. Castle calls him “BatDan” and gives Arkham his lucky head band to make him more brave. Castle wants a ride in the Batmobile. Then asks to wear the utility belt. Brian Bender comes in and tells Castle to listen and Arkham to hold the mic between them. Bender is offended that Castle chose Arkham as a hero. Arkham looks sort of offended. Bender tells Castle he’s wasted his time because Castle sucks as a student. Bender ends by saying he may have to beat the lessons into him one day. Analysis: Castle was pretty funny. Arkham played his part well especially when acting offended. It was more of a look of “How could he say this to my face” than actual offense. Bender was awesome since his instructions have been ignored. Score: +1.

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Kevin Nash shoot interview features stories from the WWF in (hold your nose) 1995

We at Stunt Granny don’t like to promote things we aren’t going to make money on (which is why we don’t promote anything, including Hold For Swank, whose albums are available on iTunes). What we like to do is be entertained by pro wrestlers and then share that entertainment with you. I ran across a trailer, posted on July 9, for the Kayfabe Commentaries “Timeline: The History of WWE: 1995: Kevin Nash” DVD (not sure how many colons really belong there) and laughed out loud enough that I thought I’d better post it. Nash is a Stunt Granny favorite (Kevin and Dan met him at PWO’s Wrestlelution last year, plus he’s just a funny guy), so if you’re as into inside wrestling stories, quick humor and the word “fuck” as we are, check out the trailer and consider buying the DVD.

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