Stunt Granny Audio #196

This week it’s a three man booth as Eric, Kevin and Dusty combine their resources to discuss the latest happenings in the world of professional wrestling. While Dusty was the only person on earth who enjoyed Booker T’s commentary, the trio all agree that it is for the best for him to move on to being the general manager on Smackdown. They also talk about just how bad ROH is lately, with their unique brand of fat guys in t-shirts wrestling for belts that mean nothing, and Jim Cornette seemingly losing the magic touch by the day. They also turn their attention to TNA, and agree that it has largely been actually good lately, with one glaring, crack addled elephant in the room preventing perfection. All this and so much more, so spare an hour of your life, because while you probably *will* regret it, they want you to and have mob connections, so you’ll be forced to eventually anyway.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #196

Kharma no longer wants to be fat nor maintain her dignity

Late night internet perusing is good for a few things outside of porn and one of them is getting on TMZ to see what non-story they are vehement about publishing in the hopes that they get some press. Yes that means the press is out to publicize itself.
Anyway, came across this about recent WWE layoff Kharma and her recent travails as of late. According to TMZ:

Former WWE star Kharma tells TMZ … she fell into a deep depression after suffering a miscarriage last year … and put on so much weight, she fell out of wrestling shape.

But now, Kharma says … she’s finally broken out of her funk and is on a renewed mission to shed the fat so she can get back in the ring.

We broke the story … Kharma’s baby died before she was able to give birth on December 31. Kharma says she had put on a lot of weight during the pregnancy and believes the extra pounds caused her health to suffer and may have contributed to the miscarriage.

In the months that followed, Kharma became depressed, put on even more weight and was dropped by the WWE.

But in the past couple of weeks, with the help of some friends, Kharma motivated herself to get back into fighting shape … and has vowed to reclaim her career.

We’re told she’s already recruited a team of fitness experts and therapists … and plans to document the transformation in the hopes of scoring a reality show.  In fact, sources tell us … Kharma has already been in touch with multiple production companies.

One important item needs to be pointed out here:  TMZ is taking credit for the exclusivity of their reporting of her miscarriage. They are trumpeting their journalistic prowess by claiming primary rights to this woman’s kid dying before anyone else found out and had the nerve to use it for their own benefit.

“Her kid died.”

“Awesome we knew about it first. Fuck her privacy! Get it to print.”

Anyway, shifting the focus on Kharma a bit; one way to get back in with WWE is to get yourself back in shape and show that commitment again for their business. Going out and securing a production company in the hopes of documenting your return to health is not the way to do it. It is trashy and bottom barrel entertainment. This is null and void of course if it is part of The Biggest Loser, which is the only legitimate weight loss reality show on television. Legitimate is a funny word in this case, but whatever.

Has anyone watched The Biggest Loser and not had the compunction to laugh uproariously at those fatsos? Who is inspired by this show? It is prime time ridicule sanitized and made acceptable because they slim down by the end of the season. You get the warm and cuddlies because they are not life threatening and healthcare damaging train wrecks any longer.

Sorry, got off track. Kharmas entire mystique is built on the fact she is a large woman who terrorizes the smaller, prettier women. She has always been billed as the monster woman and legitimately as the baddest woman in wrestling.

Exposing yourself for thirty to sixty minutes of screen time on a twelve week turn is a nuclear bomb on the career. Let’s go over all of the reality stars that have become mainstream success with any sort of longevitiy. I’ll wait.

Yup……ok…….no, really……..sure…….Cuban samiches, mmmmm…………..

And the defense rests, your honor.

Kharma’s best bet for a career resurgence or resuscitation is to get back to her fighting weight in private. Keep the cameras away at all costs. Get in Shimmer and AIW’s Girls Night Out events. Get the legs again and WWE will come knocking again. They signed Kharma for a reason and with a three hour Raw slate, a potential WWE Network still on the docket there will be a much needed use for talent to fill programming.
There is no way they she reaches that level again if she embarrasses herself for the amusement of people like me who throw ring dings, chocolate pies and insulin at overweight people. -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio #195

Serious business goes on at Kevin’s workplace.

Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #195

Doing the Diva shuffle: Kharma makes WWE release official, TNA bounces Velvet Sky all over the place

According to Gerweck.net, Kharma (a/k/a Kia Stevens) all but made her WWE release official this morning by responding to a Twitter question asking if she had been granted said release.

@CatherineNikita yes, I was. It doesn’t mean I’ll never be back.

If you recall, Jeremy recently posted that WWE’s reason for granting Kharma’s release was that they had nothing creatively for her. This idea boggles even the Corkiest of minds, which shows you the depths of stupidity of the current WWE writing staff. If you can’t make plans for a 200-pound evil-looking black chick in a world full of pin-up dolls and airheads, you need to find another line of work, maybe one where you understand, “I like my fries crispy, keep them in the grease for six minutes instead of five.”

In other lady news, according to Prowrestling.net, the profile of Velvet Sky (a/k/a Hot Stuff McGee) has been taken off and then put back on TNA’s ImpactWrestling.com Web site. Vel Vel is dealing with contract issues thanks to Bruce Prichard, talent relations extraordinaire, asking talent to restructure the terms and lengths of their deals. Sky could pull a Brian Pillman circa the “Cowboy” Bill Watts years and tell Prichard that she’ll be the highest paid Knockouts jobber on the roster, or she could grab the next ticket to Stamford, Conn., and pick up her friend and former WWE developmental wrestler Angelina Love on the way to really shake things up. Or she could grab the next ticket to Des Moines, Iowa, and rub her vagina on my middle rope, if you know what I mean. (Because, you see, that’s what she did in TNA, so don’t be accusing me of lewdness, you pricks.) -Eric

What the hell is going on with Kharma?

So we here at Stunt Granny have been quiet about the entire Kharma situation with WWE. We chose this path because no one seems to know what the hell is going on with her contract. Has she been released? Is this a work? Did they really just release her? Oh, they didn’t? Wait, they did?

It has all been a rather confusing situation. But now, over at Gerweck.net, via the Wrestling Observer, she seems to be gone. Of course this can change so nothing is set in stone.

Despite WWE not making an official announcement, it is believed Kharma has been released by WWE. Her profile being moved to the Alumni section is not a work.

Kharma has reportedly told friends that WWE didn’t know what to do with her creatively.
source: wrestlingobserver.com

Read it a few times if you need but just let it soak in. Hell, here is the line again just in case your eyes are too shocked to move them slightly upward.

Kharma has reportedly told friends that WWE didn’t know what to do with her creatively.

Is there such a thing as sarcasm indifference?  If not, well, there is now and I have a large case of it. Is Kharma just feeding a line to her friends or is it possible that the gift that is Kharma was just too easy for the vastly talented writing staff of WWE to handle?  The very idea that not one person couldn’t come up with one idea for her is overloading my smart ass meter. If not unleashed it could create a tapestry of obscenities hanging in space over Lake Michigan.  It has to be untrue. It has to be. How could a group of people not just place her right back in the same program she was in before her maternity leave? The shit was written already. Go look at your god damn notes. Replace Kelly Kelly with Layla and all is well. Fuck how hard is this? You just signed Sara Del Ray dumb asses. You have Beth Phoenix on your roster.  You have two built in matches…..excuse me……

Oh yeah, it is WWE women’s wrestling. Nevermind. -Jeremy

Sara Del Rey signs with WWE?

Please please please please.

We didn’t get to this yesterday due to the ever increasing workload bestowed upon me. By workload I mean there was a Hoarding: Buried Alive marathon on Sunday that I needed to catch up on.  The final episode was the first of this new season and it was a doozy. An Elvis impersonator hoarder; It was like a dream come true. Watching some fat, mentally challenged douche sing “Are You Lonesome Tonight” while stepping over piles of garbage and rotted food was a magical experience.

Anyway,  WWE has made a smart decision and signed Sara Del Ray to a developmental contract according to Prowrestling.net.

Sara is a woman the way they are supposed to be built. This clearly means she does not fit the WWE criteria at all but I will try and keep the faith here.  Her work in Shimmer, Ring of Honor and various other spots speaks for itself.  She has some built in opponents but as I told Kevin, she has no penis. It doesn’t matter.

That isn’t a slight on her talent but really. Who is the Divas champ? Layla?  The woman who they routinely book over my boo Beth Phoenix? It is hard to get excited about this signing. The women’s champion is an afterthought in WWE while AJ, yeah she is cute so what, gets all the attention. Makes sense huh?

This also means that the Entire Kings of Wrestling trio has been signed by WWE. Just sayin.  -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio Show #182

It took a day to recover but Jeremy and Kevin are back from UFC 145. What did they enjoy about the event? What can be done to make the live experience better?  Who has the better fans? The most important part though is what can WWE and UFC learn from one another? Thy also discuss some sports entertainment as they turn their attention to Monday Night Raw. What worked? What was the actual length of the Brock Lesnar contract signing? Did it clock in less than 45 minutes or was it actually that long? How much fun was the CM Punk boozehound angle? Who saw that coming huh? What does the future hold for Paul Bearer and is Beth Phoenix just that god of an actress? All this and more awaits and all you have to do is download it. Unless you have subscribed to us on iTunes you would have it already.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #182

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