#RingOfHonor Is Second Best

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Dry Tortugas in the Florida Keys from nationalparkguides.com

I didn’t watch “Best In The World” but I did read the results on Prowrestling.net. I only care about one match result and that is Michael Elgin beating Adam Cole for the ROH World Title. This result is so logical that they automatically jump ahead of TNA in competency with it alone.

Michael Elgin has been built up on two previous occasions. He won the Survival of the Fittest Tournament in 2011 which allowed him to have a shot at Davey Richards. Elgin came up short against Richards in a match that many people who watched it called a five star match. Elgin was not expected to win that match. It was his coming out party. Elgin then beat Adam Cole to get his first true shot at the ROH World Title. He took on Kevin Steen at Glory By Honor XI: The Unbreakable Hope. He was built up enough on TV that they used his nickname “Unbreakable” in the title. He lost to Steen.

Elgin then had his second crack at the title coming when Jay Briscoe got injured and had to surrender the title. Elgin was entered in as one of the favorites. After getting to the finals of the tournament, he was defeated by Adam Cole at Death Before Dishonor XI in September 2013. If you haven’t listened to any of the podcasts in which I’ve trumpeted Adam Cole then I can direct you to written forms of that opinion here, here and here. Much like Jason Powell, in some ways I didn’t want to see the strap removed from Cole’s waist. I brought up the month of his title reign because Cole had the belt for eight months. That is plenty long enough to establish your young star.

Michael Elgin got a shot in a three way match with a returning Jay Briscoe against Adam Cole for the title. Everyone who watches wrestling knows that the champion has a 99% chance of winning because his two opponents always turn on each other. I’d discount that chance also. Elgin then had to stew while a returning Chris Hero got a shot then Jay Briscoe got his one on one shot. Elgin then got the build up again on TV. ROH ended the Elgin build up by airing the assault Cole and Mike Bennett along with Maria Kanellis on their hype show on Saturday. That was another small positive about “Best In The World”, they aired it on Sunday like a professional wrestling organization should. That made the hype show more effective than airing it the same day and sometimes after the Saturday scheduled PPVs. Back to the beat down, Cole & Bennett zip tied Elgin to the ropes and cut his hair. ROH tried to market the mullet but it was still a horrendous choice because Elgin is balding. Cutting Elgin’s hair was another correct move. MsChif came out to make the save. We found out is Elgin’s wife while Cole denigrated both of them. Cole then gave her a choice to kiss him or watch her husband get assaulted. MsChif spit on Cole. He then decided instead of attacking Elgin to slap the Figure Four on MsChif while Bennett held her arms down. It makes Cole look like an absolute dick but I don’t like that aspect of the angle. I know she can take it but it doesn’t look good. The angle was made worse by security showing up after Cole let go of the hold. Cole should have beaten down Elgin.

TNA was in charge of a similar scenario twice, with James Storm and Bobby Roode. Roode was hyped through out the Bound For Glory Series only to lose to Kurt Angle in the Finals. To make matters worse, TNA decided to give the title to Storm on the next Impact Wrestling show after BFG. Roode recovered when he turned heel on Storm by breaking a beer bottle over Storm’s head to capture the TNA World Title. Roode went on to have the longest title reign in TNA history. James Storm had a couple of months off then came back to TNA with much video build up of him working on his farm. Storm didn’t win the TNA Title after the BFG series the next year because Roode cost him a match against Bully Ray in the semi-finals. Storm got the better of Roode at BFG but didn’t get the title because it had been won by Austin Aries. Storm later won a three man match with Roode and A.J. Styles. Storm then lost his contendership on the next episode of Impact. Storm has never recovered in the two following years.

If Michael Elgin had lost against Cole again, I fear that he would become James Storm. Elgin would have been hyped up too many times to believe that he can win the big match. ROH did the right thing though and put the strap on Elgin so that he can become Bobby Roode. – Kevin

@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

The Lloyds of London Building by Richard Rogers from theguardian.com

The Lloyds of London Building by Richard Rogers from theguardian.com

– I’m a much bigger fan of Magnus when he doesn’t act like a coward which is when he isn’t around Dixie Carter. I liked how he talked down to Samoa Joe, who had no verbal come back. Joe decided to beat the tar out of Magnus which isn’t a good sign for his chances at winning the TNA Title at Lockdown. I think Joe needs that kind of win to help make his character relevant again. The only problem with giving him said victory is that Magnus isn’t in a position to lose either. His reign hasn’t been long enough yet for a freshly minted heel.

– I love sneaky wins by heels. Bromans let the American Wolves do the damage to Kazarian of Bad Influence and swooped in for the pin fall. The problem with this type of win is that Bobby Roode wants a winner between Bromans & Bad Influence to join his team at Lockdown. If you see a pin like that, it can’t fill you full of confidence. I wouldn’t want to choose them any more than I did before the match.

James Storm and Gunner had some good banter going back and forth. One expects it out of Storm but it was a nice surprise out of Gunner.

– I’m sad to see Austin Aries in TNA. He is excellent and has been so in his segments with Bobby Roode and MVP. It helps to be in good company but I really like his style. He has gotten pushed back some but isn’t as lost as Bully Ray is. Here’s to hoping that him being the “hot free agent” helps bring Aries back to prominence.

Kurt Angle had a nice speech for his Hall of Fame speech. The guy has been around for quite sometime and despite his white trashness, he’s been a good performer the majority of that time. EC3 came out and continued to show why he was stuck in NXT. He’s just not as good as even Xavier Woods as I discussed with Dusty last week. He’s being served up perfect spot after perfect spot but he’s just not cutting it.

– At least they finally covered Samuel Shaw being completely crazy. He has a pretty decent delivery. Ken Anderson didn’t feel like he was in the rut he was against Bully Ray. From time to time, Anderson still shows why he could be a difference maker. Hopefully they can find some way to move the Shaw character on after his feud with Anderson.

– I have liked the videos from Willow. I always say how stale TNA is. Jeff Hardy is definitely out of the box thinker so I can’t blame him for trying to freshen up his look. I was wondering two things during this vignette though: Is he going to wear his mask in the ring? Because if he doesn’t, won’t it be a dead give away that it’s Hardy? Second, if he is really selling this personal change, does he bring in a new move set? If he uses all of his old moves, isn’t that a give away that it’s Hardy?

Austin Aries handing the win to Bobby Roode over MVP still could leave enough air space that Aries is acting as a double agent which could effectively make it a 6 on 4 for MVP’s team at Lockdown. It could be well played. We’ll see if TNA is that smart. – Kevin

@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

002 Tarek (Moritz Bleibtreu)Eric Young‘s experiment on Abyss/Joseph Park took a turn that I had not predicted last week. Young was determined to unmask Abyss and he finally did near the end of the match. It seemed it had dawned on Abyss that he was indeed Joseph Park. TNA cheesed it up by having him see himself in a broken piece of a mirror. I could get behind an unmasked Park because he looks better without the ten cent Mankind rip off mask.

Bobby Roode‘s baby face turn was planted even more with his frustration with Dixie Carter since she couldn’t make him the number one contender against Magnus. TNA has lost more baby faces than heels in the mass exodus of talent so they could use someone else on that side.

MVP is claiming to not want in ring action. Rockstar Spud is terrible as a lackey. His size fits the bill but that’s it. MVP makes a match between Magnus and Kurt Angle. I think it’s terrible to not build up this match now that Magnus is champ even if it’s to a TV PPV.

Bully Ray is making the best of some bad writing. It’s not enough to overcome the limitations. Curry Man comes out then Bully Ray comes out. Now is Curry Man’s opponent not going to come out? Or did he come out at an unscheduled time because Curry Man has free reign in TNA? Neither of those explanations are good to me. Unfortunately for him, he gets his ass handed to him by Bully Ray. Bully finishes Curry Man off by getting him into a pile driver then yelling “Anderson” then executing the move. Jeremy Borash follows up with what has to be the dumbest line that will be said all year “That was a direct message to Mr. Anderson.” with dramatic pauses in there. Just wow.

Zema Ion did the smart thing and assaulted Austin Aries with his X Division briefcase then calling for the referee. It’s a heel tactic by a heel. TNA uses logic for a change. Congratulations. No surprise that Ion was in a glorified jobber match. He got offense only because of the briefcase. Aries wins with the brainbuster.

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@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

bizarro_world

From panelsonpages.com

– I really wish England would have made Magnus‘s promo a Bizarro World style one where the crowd cheered for him. Unfortunately, the crowd really wasn’t that into him. Kurt Angle is going to continue using Sting’s description of Magnus as a “Paper Champion” which is catching on for some reason but it shouldn’t be. That term is older than most of JBL’s references. Dixie Carter tried to talk Magnus out of a match that could make Angle or Samoa Joe number one contender but it wasn’t successful. I like Magnus’s defiance to Dixie is reasonable and not over the top anger which makes his character interesting. Too bad he isn’t selling it to me in any other way.

Lai’d Tapa is still so undependable that she wasn’t tagged into her own match with Gail Kim against Madison Rayne & Velvet Sky. The match was window dressing for her angle with Chris Sabin though. I’m glad Velvet ended their relationship because that angle had tons of potential and TNA pissed it away.

– I don’t like Kurt Angle & Samoa Joe only threatening Bobby Roode ahead of the main event. You know the heels have been getting help from their friends. Take the friends out so they can’t get help. Baby faces shouldn’t always be dumb.

– The James Storm makes up with Gunner promo was supposed to be touching with buddies realizing that they went over board with each other. It does happen in real life but two tough guys like this don’t make up with words. They make up by beating the hell out of a common enemy. They did that against Christopher Daniels & Kazarian, who are perfect foils for this situation. Too bad they didn’t interrupt this lovefest earlier.

– The only thing good to come out of Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards first appearance in the ring was the stipulation that no one could interfere in the match or else you are fired, which makes threatening Bobby Roode pointless by Angle & Joe. Why are you wasting your own TV time being redundant? You only have two hours. You can’t waste it like that.

– I like the story they are telling with Abyss and Eric Young trying to control him. They’ve treated this whole angle as an experiment, using the term often, and he’s been testing out hypotheses. I believe his thinking in having a Monster’s Ball match is to snap Abyss out of his rampage by making him sympathize when he beats the tar out of Young next week and turn back into Joseph Park.

Probably my favorite Christy Hemme picture ever. Saved from Fanpop.com.

Probably my favorite Christy Hemme picture ever. Saved from Fanpop.com.

– The Samuel Shaw angle was completely not sold by Mike Tenay or Jeremy Borash, which is criminal. Shaw had a basement wallpapered in Christy Hemme along with having a mannequin of her that he kissed to close the segment. I know Bully Ray, who came out next, is more important but don’t you think you talk about the angle you just saw as Bully makes his way to the ring? Shaw needs some help to sell his angle. He’s new. Bully Ray can sell his own angle. And that’s exactly what he did. Ken Anderson continues to have not developed on iota since leaving the WWE. They’ve beaten this feud to death so I’m glad a casket match will put it out of it’s misery.

– The “Investor” got out of the car before their last commercial break. I haven’t been this unexcited for a TNA announcement ever, which is quite a statement. I haven’t read the spoilers because that’s a waste of my reading time. Samoa Joe ended up choking out Magnus to become number one contender. Samoa Joe really hasn’t developed at all since he came from ROH. Mostly yelling again in this promo. Pull another tone out of the bag of tricks. Just as Kurt Angle starts to talk my DVR cuts out so I don’t know who the investor is. It’s 12:08 EST. I’ll find out who it is after a nice sleep. (Next Day Note: It really was MVP. So TNA decided to cut Hulk Hogan & AJ Styles but they brought in Edwards, Richards and MVP. TNA is probably still saving on pay roll but doesn’t it bringing in these guys undermine the concept? They’re not going to improve their product. MVP has been gone for so long, I barely remember that I loved his character a decade plus ago.) – Kevin

News You Can Use: Kurt Angle, Mick Foley and the WWE

What should I take?

A young Kurt Angle has his first encounter with his biggest life long nemesis.

Kurt Angle is in the news because in the UK Sun, he expressed the idea of coming back to the WWE. Per the article

And he revealed how his future could well rest with the WWE due to “unfinished business” from his previous run with Vince McMahon’s company.

If Kurt Angle truly has unfinished business, I hope he quit his side business that WWE helped him with by tossing him into rehab last year. For his sake, I hope all is well but that isn’t very funny. What could also be serious is a short WWE run to finish things up. He’s the same age as Batista so the WWE may not care whether it’s asthma or a pill that is causing your shortness of breath five minutes into a match.

Mick Foley is in the news (Prowrestling.net that is) because he now has a comedy special on AXS TV which will air on February 6th. I had no idea what the station was until it was revealed to be the re-branded HD Net. So I don’t get the station so I will not be watching it. I’ve seen his show. Jeremy has seen his show. We both enjoyed it so I’m sure it’ll be a good show. Too bad his comedy instincts didn’t help make his pay off video for being so mad at the WWE  for not giving the him a slot in the Royal Rumble and a chance at the title at Wrestlemania. We all know you’re a famous tight wad, but to make it more dramatic can you break more than a 32″ TV that goes for $200?

– I’m mildly annoyed that the WWE has decided to skip Columbus for a taping these past two weeks. They did come on a Sunday for a house show but those don’t count. It’s the first time in the last several years that we haven’t gotten a show on the road to Wrestlemania. The WWE instead went to Dayton’s Nutter Center last Monday (January 20th) for Raw which seats 11,500 people. Last night (January 28th), they recorded Smackdown in Toledo at the Huntington Center which seats 9,341. I have no idea why they’d want to record at either of those locations considering that Nationwide Arena here in Columbus seats 19,500. The WWE has a conspiracy against Daniel Bryan, CM Punk and now Columbus. This time it’s a conspiracy of why the WWE didn’t want more money and a better crowd for a TV show. – Kevin

@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis of #Genesis Part II

michelangelo_Sistine1_genesis27_Sun_Moon_Plants1

Michelangelo is rolling over in his grave.

– I know that showing Kurt Angle on top of the cage was supposed to be a tease, but I think it’s a bad decision. I say just go with the call and don’t even have a still picture of him there.

– The investors angle is so premature. Dixie Carter should have lorded over the company for longer than she has. I’m glad the lawyer wasn’t terrible. At least he didn’t look like a local wrestler which makes the part seem even worse than what it could be. We can leave the “EMTs”, “Security” or “Police Officers” to local wrestlers.

– I’m starting to think that James Storm is going to be wasted talent. He lost his match against Gunner, who had put up his briefcase that makes him the number one contender for the TNA Title. I really used to feel bad for Storm but he looked sloppy in the ring and could really use to tone up again.

– The dumb angle between Chris Sabin and Velvet Sky overshadowed Austin Aries recapturing the X Division Championship. Both of these matches have felt rushed too. Too short for what was at stake and to drive home a point from last week, these aren’t PPV quality or length matches. I thought Sabin & Aries did fine but it still wasn’t that length or quality. The dumb angle may finally be over. It made Sabin look ever stupider than he has been because he had Velvet bring a pipe to ring side. She ended up giving him a teddy bear. To make matters worse, Sabin looked at Velvet in full view of the referee and said “Where’s the pipe?” Wouldn’t the referee have to disqualify you then? Or was that his intention because he’d still retain the belt? We’ll go with the later to not make him a complete bone head. They haven’t been on the same page, why did you strategize around her? The other problem with this feud is that the X Division belt has been playing hot potato and been devalued. It’s no worse then the IC or US Belts.

– I dig #TheWolves segment. Sure, you could compare it to some of the Shield videos but I thought they gave it less terrorist, more Boondocks Saints style with how they were dressed. It also put Davey Richards in a much more comfortable spot. Eddie Edwards is better on the mic but benefited from the video package too.

boondock-saintsKurt Angle took a brutal bump from the top of the cage moonsault. Bobby Roode took entirely too long to get out of the cage after. He then went back out equally as slowly a second time. The match had been pretty good up until that point. For a third time, Bobby Roode took the hands first approach to going out the cage even though, duh, your feet need to touch first. It was supposed to be dramatic when Kurt Angle dropped off the side of the cage to the mat for the win but it just made the whole affair look silly. A third match that wasn’t really PPV level. Who ever was chanting “This is awesome” by himself shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce.

Ethan Carter the Third hyping up Rockstar Spud was kind of funny. I may have liked the addition of Zema Ion to the Bromans but this gimmick is feeling really dated during this promo. Even Taz called it #BadAnnoyingPromo. Eric Young rushes the ring. He gets his ass kicked then Abyss shows up. I had to get a laugh out of the TNA crowd chanting No! with a gentleman chanting Yes! even further back when Abyss decided not to choke slam EY. I’m just saying it’s not a good idea to put someone in your company in a spot where the crowd wants to chant those two words. I know they’re simple and used all of the time but they are owned by WWE & Daniel Bryan currently. The Samoa Joe promo was solid too. He only has intense in his bag of tricks but when he harnesses it, it works.

Samoa Joe wins in a squash match against Rockstar Spud as he should. Now, I didn’t read the spoilers for this show but I believe from reading some message boards that Joe ends up turning on Sting. If that is the case, I will say that they are doing Magnus a disservice. This match starts with fifteen minutes left on my DVR. Not exactly an appropriate length for a main event on a PPV. You gotta go twenty. Of course, the less of Sting we see in the ring, the better. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian of Bad Influence help out EC3 to attack Samoa Joe. He wipes them out. The Bromans then beat down Joe. Everyone then moves on to Sting. So again I’ll say, this is a main event PPV, right? Woof. Kurt Angle makes a super save. Magnus taps out when a referee is knocked out. Magnus gets the upper hand then Suplex Slams Sting who stays down for an inordinate amount of time for such a weak move. Wow, that segment was worse than I had imagined. No Samoa Joe turning but this still did no good for Magnus. If you’re not renewing Stings contract, good then he should do a clean job not this convoluted bull shit. – Kevin

@ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

patrick-bateman-new-york– I hate “retirement” style matches since you know it’s a 99.9% chance that the possible retiree, in this case Kurt Angle, will win the match. He’s not exactly a good enough talker to open the show with either. He sounds like a loser by continually saying he’ll prove his worth but losing. Bobby Roode didn’t help pull up the quality in the segment either. Roode’s a mixed bag in that department for me. I’m also not sure why Angle is doing the Christian “One Last Match” gimmick either. TNA either needs to commit to him winning again or going full on with the fall of Kurt Angle. I suppose if he loses this match, that’d be true but I highly doubt it’ll turn out that way.

– I understand Madison Rayne beating Gail Kim but I don’t understand why it was relatively clean. They can now set up a title match between the returning Rayne & Gail Kim since she hasn’t put the belt on the line in a while. The problem I have is that it should be more of a fluky win like Lai’d Tapa costing Kim a match so the heel can deny the loss while building the title match.

– I don’t understand why Chris Sabin and Velvet Sky continue to fight. She was better as a heel with the Beautiful People. She should be allowed to go back to her roots with her heel boyfriend in a slightly tweaked character. Chris Sabin winning back the belt with Velvet’s interference could have helped seal the change in personality but she regretted it while he heeled it up. Yuck. The least TNA could do is make you feel bad for Velvet Sky but they haven’t given us any reason to do so.

Samuel Shaw wasn’t exactly a hit for me with his transfer to the ring character. I like the concept behind him, a Patrick Bateman rip off, but him staring at Christy Hemme didn’t exactly creep me out.

James Storm comes off as a petty bitch in his feud with Gunner. He should be pissed because Gunner isn’t nearly as good as him and is being pushed for no reason.

– You know, I had wondered if Ethan Carter III was indeed Derrick Bateman from NXT aka Michael Hutter from Pro Wrestling Ohio. He didn’t talk in PWO. He didn’t quite make it to the main roster in the WWE. I’m not exactly a fan of this gimmick, but he’s not helping himself out and showing why the WWE would cut him. If you can’t talk well in the WWE, you better be a maestro in the ring. EC3 may be that but you can’t prove it against two months of jobbers.

Bully Ray needs to up the gas quotient if they want me to be concerned about Joseph Park or Ken Anderson being burned alive.

– I like Brad Maddox partially because I think he dresses well. Rockstar Spud is trying a similar style but is failing because his vest always is too close in color to his shirt and pants. Someone should be helping this color blind idiot. EC3 doesn’t exactly dress well either for someone with money. At least he coordinates better with his colors.

– I didn’t read the spoilers so I had no idea Gunner came out during Magnus‘s coronation. Gunner needs to get the threat of using it out there. It was a nice delay tactic for AJ Styles eventual arrival. I do know that AJ Styles drops the belt. I’m not exactly excited to see him on ROH TV. I know this is a different scenario but it is kind of funny that they’re having a belt unification match not that long after the WWE did. Magnus getting a spine and taking the challenge is a good idea to keep his character’s distance from being to Dixiefied. It’s a better separation than Randy Orton has had with the Authority. – Kevin

@ImpactWrestling “High Lights”

thefuzzyball.com

thefuzzyball.com

– I have no idea why they are simultaneously pushing Magnus and looking him look like a bitch by having him waffle. It’s not putting him in a cool “grey” spot by having his integrity questioned with the “injury” that hung Kurt Angle out to dry last week in a tag match. It’s making him look like a douche.

– I didn’t read the spoilers on who the new champion is. I didn’t read any spoilers in fact. So it was quite a surprise that Jeff Hardy beat Bobby Roode since there have been two storylines coming out of this tournament are Dixie Carter’s continued haggling with AJ Styles for the physical belt and Bobby Roode & Kurt Angle being on a collision course.

Ethan Carter the Third is terrible. I would take “Bad News” Barrett any day of the week over this guy. I do think they could make Barrett entertaining. EC3 had the deck stacked in this segment. He choose Earl Hebner as his opponent which is supposed to get him boos but it didn’t. To make matters worse, “Rockstar” Spud came out and made Brian Hebner referee the match. Earl was made to lay down and EC3 covered him with one finger. Brian told Earl “I’m sorry I have to do this” like Shawn Michaels to Ric Flair. EC3 still didn’t get heat. This gimmick isn’t working.

– The “pay off” for Joseph Park not being a lawyer was a dud too. I enjoy the act of Christopher Daniels & Kazarian more times than not but when they miss, it bombs. They lived up to their past ups and downs. It was also entirely too long for it’s relative importance to the rest of their show. It didn’t involve the  TNA Title Tournament or any other belt. Even if “Abyss” comes back as Eric Young seemed to warn, it doesn’t deserve this much time. They’ve teased his turn to Abyss so many times at this point, I don’t feel like they’ll pull the trigger. If they somehow turn this story into Joseph Park realizing that he is Abyss, I’m fine with it but would enjoy a hybrid character of Joseph Park knowing how to tap into his “Inner Abyss” without resorting to looking like the same bad Mankind 2.0 he was before.

– I’m glad Zema Ion could repackage himself. It’s a perfect obnoxious compliment to pump up the Jesse & Robbie E of the Bromans who really didn’t have a whole lot when they won the belts. Their victory really came out of nowhere. Even if Jesse & Robbie E drop the straps, they have more of an act to keep their heads up.

James Storm was mad at Gunner for throwing in the towel during a Last Man Standing match during the Tournament. The grudge was working well. For some reason in their match with the Bromans, Gunner loses his cool and shoves the referee because one of them spit on him. Wouldn’t the smart play be to continue the Storm is still banged up card and have the Bromans knock heads with him so that the victory looks tainted? Then Storm can still be pissed at the voice of reason Gunner? Instead their roles are completely reversed in this segment. It’s a real head scratcher.

#Impact365 is taking up too many segments. Just like the WWE, I’m not going to take a look at your online material because I watch too much of your programming already. To boot, by showing these clips from #Impact365 as much as you are tells me that you’re showing me the highlights. That gives me another reason to skip their online material. That being said, I did enjoy the Big E Langston video with Kaitlyn I saw earlier today.

– The main event was a Last Man Standing Match between Magnus and Kurt Angle in the Title Tournament. Having Bobby Roode the one that costs Kurt Angle the match gives more fire of their feud but it makes Magnus look weak again.

Dixie Carter just shouldn’t be on TV. I don’t want the McMahons on TV either. I rebel against authority. I listen to heavy metal and punk rock. The man is trying to bring down their own wrestling shows. – Kevin

News You Can Use – Christmas Bounty, Dixieland, Jim Ross and Total Divas

news_listing_headerMy woman is just so excited about Mike “The Miz” Mizanin movie “Christmas Bounty” airing tonight on ABC Family. She watches some of the most horrific movies that I’ve ever laid eyes on. To put this into perspective, I’ve sat through the entire run of Mystery Science Theater 3000, CSI: Miami and Hawaii Five-O (The new version) and have gotten all kinds of laughs. Do I know all of these shows are terrible? Yes I do. Are they horrific? No. So stay tuned for a short synopsis from the Queen of Cheese-tastic Christmas movies.

Jim Ross had this to say about Big E Langston and Roman Reigns because of some of his Twitter followers

Some fans need to exert a little more patience while young talents such as Reigns and Big E evolve to the next level.

Ross had mentioned this after not liking Big E’s promo. I’m not sure who these fans are because I haven’t seen too many complaints about either man online. I feel like this is code for Jim Ross wanting to bash the WWE writers. How exactly is Big E going to get over on the mic if he doesn’t have mic time? The same can be said about Roman Reigns. His in ring work got featured on Raw but the Shield wasn’t in a solitary backstage segment. How about the WWE show some patience and not team Big E with Mark Henry then have the announcers speculate about a new tag team? You just gave him the Intercontinental Title last week on Raw. Show some patience and give him more fodder to defend the belt. Jim Ross is good at selectively picking who he responds to in his blog.

According to Zap2It.com (by way of Prowrestling.net) Total Divas has been renewed for another season. When I informed my lady that it was renewed last night I got a groan and maybe a grunt. I barely talked her into the column for the second half of this season. I may need to pay her to do it next season. We’re making a profit, right?

I finally got around to reading the “Dixieland” article on SI.com which she referenced on last week’s Impact Wrestling. I had to laugh at a couple of points which the writer made. The first point was about getting on Spike TV:

Getting onto a visible cable platform allowed Dixie and TNA to lure away some of their competitor’s bigger stars. Jeff Hardy, a wildly popular WWE wrestler in the late 90s and early 2000s with his brother Matt, under the moniker “The Hardy Boyz,” joined TNA in 2004. Two-time Olympic wrestling gold medalist Kurt Angle joined the company in 2006. Steve Borden, a.k.a. Sting, signed with TNA in 2003 and is widely considered the most popular pro wrestler ever to never work for the WWE.

That is full of entertainment. TNA allegedly lured away Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle by supplying them with drugs before finally cutting them off. I can’t argue with the point about Sting so one out of three correct isn’t too bad. The bar is set pretty low for the media these days. Dixie had her own whopper:

One of the continuous hurdles she’s had to overcome is the perception that one has to grow up in the wrestling business to be good at it. It’s believed that Dixie is the first and only female pro wrestling owner to not have any familial ties to wrestlers…That’s all any business is,” said Dixie. “You don’t have to know wrestling. You’ll know wrestling eventually, but business is about making good decisions, putting good people around you and managing them.
I agree with her in that you don’t need to grow up in wrestling to be good at it. None of us grew up in wrestling but we can totally book better than anyone who has ever written wrestling. The entertaining part is about making good decisions, good people and managing them. Dixie hasn’t made good decisions (Putting herself on TV), hasn’t brought in good people (Eric Bischoff & Hulk Hogan) and she hasn’t managed anyone as far as I can tell (Except for her dad to keep putting money into the product). The last point is peppered through out the second half of the article but AJ Styles sums it up quite well:
I think we have to think outside the wrestling box.,” said Styles. “That’s the most important thing we need to do. Wrestling’s been done a certain way for so long and I think if we can go outside that thinking and change the way we do things, storylines and what not, that will separate us from the WWE. We can’t be like them — we have to be the alternative. We need to be something different.
TNA and Dixie Carter have been saying for a decade that they need to be different than the WWE yet they’ve provided us with a watered down version of the Attitude Era with many of those stars for that same time period. I can’t wait for another decade of ineptitude since they aren’t selling the company. At least they’ll let me do the same blog that every other wrestling fan does. – Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #ImpactLive

MVP! MVP! MVP!

MVP! MVP! MVP!

In dog related news, Kia is doing as well as she can while still having a heart murmur. I’m happy to have some piece of mind that it isn’t an immediate problem. Other good news, my boy Andrew McCutchen of the Pittsburgh Pirates won the NL MVP in a landslide with 28 of 30 first place votes. Way to go Cutch. I’m going to review a very un-MVP like edition of Impact Wrestling to make up for being lazy in the audio department this week. You’re a lucky group of readers. Let’s roll.

They start off with a lower quality version of WWE’s video packages. At least they’re hyping the main event between Austin Aries and  Kurt Angle. Aces & Eights come out. Tazz gets to brag. Bully Ray talks trash to Mike Tenay. He’s the puppet master. He may have fooled us but it was to assault Mr. Anderson. Not exactly who you should pull that on. Don’t you wait for a higher quality target? He accepts Mr. Anderson’s match. Ken Anderson graces us with his presence. Anderson requests a break up Aces & Eights for his career in TNA match stipulation. Anderson is dumb for the second week in a row and takes on Aces & Eights. He fights out of it though. Anderson wants a match now. Knux is taking him on after the break.

Bully Ray & Garrett Bischoff were sent to the back. TNA loves having guys wrestle in jeans. If Anderson had in mind challenging someone, why didn’t he wear his ring gear to the trash talking session? Dummy. Mic Check out of nowhere for the win. I wouldn’t be shaking in my boots if I were Bully Ray. Anderson barely pulled it off against one of his lackeys. Granted, with that kind of stipulation I expect Anderson to win. Joseph Park has been contemplating Bad Influence all week. Park challenges Christopher Daniels, mano e mano which means interference will happen. Christopher Daniels was trying to give Park a drink last week. Daniels tells Kazarian to stay in the back. They run into Bobby Roode who is showing off his new terrible t shirt. Not their best segment. I do enjoy their act more times than not.

Video Package Count: 2. More about Austin Aries vs Kurt Angle. Joseph Park is taking on Chris Daniels. The later gets the upper hand early. Daniels can’t seem to put away Park. Joseph slam and side slams Daniels. Earl Hebner backs Park out of the corner. He tosses Hebner aside. Daniels kicks him in the groin while Hebner is turned. Daniels wins with the low blow. Park’s character may be better but his wrestling still sucks.WWE2K14 ad.

Garrett Bischoff tries to talk down Knux. Bully Ray isn’t mad either. We can’t tell Brooke about Lexus. Don’t worry, almost no one in wrestling watches their own product. EC3 is out again to face some schmuck unless they’re finally going to break the streak. Nope, just two schmucks this time. They keep working over Carter’s arm. A leaping clothesline turns things CP3’s way. The schmucks know how to wrestle but are stick thin. I get feeding him jobbers but he’s giving up too much offense. The 1 Percenter for the win. The world needs him.

Video Package Count: 3. This time, it’s a “commercial” for AJ Styles. Interesting take but not the best package. Dixie Carter shrieks. Jeff Hardy loves the unconventional promos. He’s so much more comfortable in this environment and you can tell. Hardy wants to be champ again. I’m not sure if Austin Aries really got a video package. It was more like a video envelope.

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