Stunt Granny Audio #204

With a Presidential debate and a Major League Baseball playoff game going on around them, our intrepid heroes Kevin and Dusty are focused on one thing, and one thing only: the major happenings of the last week in the world of professional wrestling! The two contemplate who would have been a better choice to lead the Aces and Eights group in TNA. Would anyone in the known universe have been a better choice than poor, mediocre Devon? They talk about the ponderous Hulk Hogan sex tape, and how HH is no longer b-fri’s with notorious wife swapper Bubba the Love Sponge. Is Jeff Hardy the right choice to lead TNA as its World Heavyweight Champion, or is he a ticking time bomb that you should never put in such a prominent position? Dusty makes his sales pitch for Ryback winning the WWE title, and Kevin is *almost* buying. And the fearless duo finishes things off with a Mount Rushmore of Wrestling Tough Guys, as the backdrop to the alleged altercation between Harley Race and Vader this past week. And a whole lot more nuggets of golden awesomeness, so listen!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #204

Stunt Granny Audio #185

The new ROH Champion is proud of his body.

It’s time for another rip roaring edition of Stunt Granny Audio, with Kevin and Dusty at the helm for your listening enjoyment. The fearless duo starts things off by talking about the illustrious new ROH World Champion, Kevin Steen. Can Dusty make up his mind on who he wants to compare Steen to? Is it Dusty Rhodes or Playboy Buddy Rose? Would a rose by any other name smell just as stinky as ROH’s decision to put the belt on him? Or does Kevin actually like the idea? One thing they definitely agree on is that ROH is in big trouble if they can’t get their shit together with regards to running the iPPVs. Are they on a mission to look as unprofessional as possible, or are they just that incompetent? They then move on to talking about the latest WWE Revolution? Is it going to be every bit as revolutionary as the last revolution? Is Kevin all revolutioned out? And finally, they delve into the earth shattering revelation of Linda Hogan and her new line of cosmetics. Dusty makes a startling confession about the whole thing, but you have to listen to find out what it is, and it’s only going to cost you about an hour of your dull, meaningless life. So get on it!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #185

John Cena files for divorce, ex fights for custody of jean shorts

Na, I ain’t sayin’ she a golddigga…

According to Prowrestling.net, WWE superstar John Cena has filed for divorce from his wife of three years and acquaintance of 14, Liz something or other. Here’s the rest of the news before I cut to the chase:

• Liz has hired Raymond Rafool, who represented Linda Bollea in her high-profile divorce case from Hulk Hogan.
• It sounds like Cena made her sign a prenuptual, so good luck, toots.
• Reports claim that this divorce will be “nasty.”

Now, for the important part of this story:

• We were right (click here). -Eric

Scott Steiner Pulls Back The Twitter Curtain

The following is a collection of Scott Steiner Tweets. Enjoy. – Dusty

* When these assholes got control they tried to takeover everybodys twitter page
* u didnt have twitter they made one up for U…so u people who think yur tweeting sting its not him
* He told me he doesnt watch the show.so hes not tweeting about a show he doesnt watch
* Evrybody refused to sign over twitter so every wk u get an email begging u to twitter what they want
* Got one today,Please tweet this;Hogan take over as GM wonder what he will do…WTF really
* Even if u r not on show Please tweet..so the booking team of pritchard bischoff n hogan wont book U want u to tweet about hogan
* Tweet about yurself hogan nobody else wants to tweet about u u fucking mark
* Im tweeting what they wish they could
* Wondeting what hogans going to do…hmmmm…hes a fn mark so hes going to make a couple of matches that ppl want to see
* Nothing more unprofessional than a heel wanting to be cheered
* So ppl cheer him which pissd everybody off especially sting bcuz he had to wrestle him
* Have the future of wrestling garrett do something bcuz eric told him to in booking meeting….what a fucking joke
* Now hes good but hes going to everything like he did when he was bad bcuz he was first good
* And that produced the worst ratings ever so he went bad which was just as bad as when he was good
* Then his bad wasnt any good bcuz his ratings still sucked so he turnd back to good from bad
* Wtf y’all get his bullshit ….dont forget to say BROTHER ..bcuz its fresh
* Stupid mofo
* Remember deny u had anything to do with the release of the sex tape to try n get more sales
* How kardashian of u….Homomania running wild..his shit writes itself
* His w
* His ex-wife said he was gay right!!!..hhmmm who brought in Orlando Jordan

Linda Bollea, young buck to appear on VH1 “Relationship Rehab,” totally not for gold-digging purposes

I bet she even *hates* money. Just the smell of it makes her want to vomit all over her bejeweled iPhone and mongolian horse-hair coat. (And, P.S., what the fuck is Charlie wearing? Tatanka is going to be pissed.)

According to Prowrestling.net, Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife Linda Bollea and her boyfriend Charlie Hill are two of the cast members on VH1 “Relationship Rehab.” It’s a good thing Linda won all of that money from the poor Hulkster during their very public divorce and is totally taking part in this show to strengthen her relationship with her 29-years-her-junior boy toy, not because she’s a money-grubbing c-unit recently described by Eric Bischoff as “a pig in every sense.” Haha, wait, I just had an image of this poor bastard Charlie carting a pig around like Arnold from “Green Acres”! *That* I’d like to see! -Eric

Next on VH1, "Relationship Rehab," followed by, "I Love the Pork."

Linda Hogan says Hulk banged Brutus Beefcake. Um, what?

Linda Hogan is a horrible bitch. Let’s just get this out of the way now. She literally did nothing with her life but sit around and be Hulk Hogan’s wife. Then she alleges abuse, depression, fear, bullying, blah, blah, blah. So she writes a book, “Wrestling the Hulk” and it tanks. So clearly she is desperate for attention and the appearances on Opie & Anthony and The Today Show have dried up. So what does she do, she goes on as a guest for the “Matty P’s Radio Happy Hour”.

On the show she says her source of “a little bird” told her that Hulk Hogan fucked Brutus Beefcake.  She was asked about The Ultimate Warrior’s comments on her being passed around to different wrestlers and she said she doesn’t know the Ultimate Warrior nor does she know his real name. She then went on to say she thought he was gay.

Clearly this hag has issues with gay people. She is trying to demonize people for their sexual preference. She is seemingly a true old school wrestler. If you are gay that makes you bad.

Here’s the real issue with all of this speculation; Brutus Beefcake isn’t good looking. If you are Hulk Hogan and you want to have sex with a male friend of yours why Brutus? Is he that much of a yes man you know he is an easy lay? Even then, couldn’t you find someone way more appealing that wanted the story to say they had some sort of contact with Hogan’s donger? -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 7/2/11

1. CM Punk

2. Vince McMahon – McMahon was recently interviewed by Bloomberg Enterprise, and while he does seem to be mellowing at his old age (or maybe because the interviewer was a cuter girl than Bob Costas), he did admit that he’d be happy never retiring and “dying in the chair.” And while he did show a good sense of humor while saying that, I can’t imagine JBL will be back to clean up the carcass, so he might want to consider the beach. – Eric

3. Sean Waltman – The Real X-Pac has been all over social media lately, particularly really cranking up his video efforts via his Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/therealxpac. If you’re like me and grew up on the Lightning/1-2-3 Kid, give his shows a shot. His voice is ruined by years of puking all over himself, but his advice is sage, and his opinions are as educated as his feet. – Eric

4. Randy Orton – So Randall does a live radio interview and outs Kelly Kelly as being a dart board behind the scenes. This is nothing to be ashamed of but when it gets played by Randy and the hosts like she is a whore instead of a girl who likes to cum, that is the problem. Kelly, get you some dick and carry on. – Jeremy

5. Dolph Ziggler – He has been getting praised by former wrestlers as the next possible guy to go up the ladder. It was also made public knowledge he got inside Kelly Kelly’s vagina and may have dated a porn star. How can you not like this guy? – Jeremy

6. Linda Hogan – This thing is the exact opposite of Kelly Kelly. This troll went on The Today Show as well as Opie and Anthony (XM 105/ Sirius 206) and spouted a bunch of shit about Hulk Hogan. He has a small penis, he ripped out clumps of her hair, he was abusive and a bunch of other unsubstantiated claims. What did Hulk Hogan do in response? Basically nothing. Hulk Hogan took the high ground. Let that sink in. – Jeremy

7. #JeffHardyWatch – Join Twitter and help us mock one of our favorites as he awaits trail for a September 2009 arrest for possession of 262 Vicodin prescription pills, 180 soma prescription pills, 555 milliliters of anabolic steroids, a residual amount of powder cocaine, and drug paraphernalia. Is this a completely dickish and unnecessary thing to do? Yes, yes it is. But it’s funny. – Kevin

8. Make Up – The WWE must have actually had problems with the voting last week for “Power To the People.” They advertised for nearly a week before that Sin Cara would take on Evan Bourne. As a second make-up, without acknowledging it, they had Kofi Kingston spin the Raw Roulette Wheel and get a “Player’s Choice” stipulation in which Vickie was then banned from ring side. Good on you for listening to the fans. Now do it more often. – Kevin

9. Sin Cara – He really really sucks. – Dusty

10. Sweet Daddy Siki – In his book, Bret Hart identified Sweet Daddy Siki as the best. That statement was a true statement. – Dusty

11. Raven: Wrestling Superstar – So at SuperCon in Miami, Raven had a booth. My eye in the sky tells me he was visited by maybe eight people within an eight hour time frame. He was rude to boot. He’s The Wrestler without a career peak. I hope he dies. I also feel the urge to point out how absolutely terrible a show Ghost Hunters is. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Audio Show #149

It’s the Asshole Edition (or is it?) of Stunt Granny Audio: Jeremy and Eric are here to give their take on the CM Punk promo from this week’s WWE Monday Night Raw. What have others, including Dusty, Kevin, and Dave Lagana of I Want Wrestling, said about the promo? What made it effective? What made it shocking? What made it par for the course with other worked shoots of the past? The boys discuss those interviews of Brian Pillman, Jim Ross, Paul Heyman and Joey Styles – what worked, what didn’t, and whether or not they drew money. Also discussed are Randy Orton’s recent radio interview, Linda Bollea being a huge c-word, and Koko B. Ware revealing the brains behind him bringing his macaw, Frankie, to the ring. All this and not much more when you click to listen!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #149

Wrestling (and barely wrestling) marriages crumble: Hulk and Linda, Fairplay and Zorak

Grow a set!

Linda Bollea was recently interviewed by MiamiHerald.com about her new book, “Wrestling the Hulk: My Life Against the Ropes,” where she sounded off about her ex-husband Hulk Hogan’s alleged infidelity (well, when you’re with a washed-up hag like Linda and your hot daughter is trotting her hotter friends around the house, whatcha gonna do?) and how Hogan’s broken-down body couldn’t keep up with Linda’s… needs (shudder).

I was in a long, stale marriage for so long. Wrestlers have injuries. They’re not able to go and do. My husband had so many knee and hip problems. He couldn’t ride a Jet Ski, go skiing, ride horses. Now I’m with someone who can keep up with all my Italian energy!

Gross.

Filming actually kept our family together longer than it would have lasted. Terry and I were barely talking, and he didn’t look at me in the eye. I didn’t know at the time he was doing Christiane in our bedroom.

There ya go, brother!

Ever the expert, Linda also spends time in her book giving advice to women who may be similar situations (that is, being rode-hard leathery hags with gargantuan professional wrestlers for husbands):

If things are bad, don’t turn a blind eye. Don’t stay because it’s safe or scary out there. Don’t make excuses for your own unhappiness. Grow a set and move on!

Yeah, ya’ dumb fuckin’ bitch, grow a set! Slam a beer and bash him over the head with the bottle! (Wow, the white trash landfill doth overflow.)

In other white trash, V-level celebrity gossip, Jonny Fairplay and “America’s Next Below Average Model” Michelle Deighton have announced their split. (But they looked so happy on that beacon of great TV, “Dr. Phil”!) According to Prowrestling.net, Fairplay Tweeted this gem:

“Yes, I am separated,” Fairplay wrote on his Twitter page. “Michelle was served with separation papers on Friday. I wish her the best in her future endeavors.”

I would post more, but I’m so doubled over with laughter about this wrestling nobody’s inside joke about “future endeavors” that I might go vomit into a fucking toilet. Whatever, you troll, go find another stripper and woo her over the breakfast buffet. Make a baby and name it “Hot Rod.” Blecch. -Eric

More drama than yo mama: Hulk Hogan threatening to sue Ultimate Warrior

Happier times.

Wow, does the fun ever stop? According to Gerweck.net and TMZ.com, Hulk Hogan is now threatening to sue Ultimate Warrior for “spewing sewage” about him over the past few weeks and, in particular, during the 7-minute clip from the forthcoming 55-minute shoot video Warrior recorded ALL ABOUT Hulk Hogan. According to the article:

Hulk says he’s tried ignoring The Ultimate Warrior, to no avail. So now Hulk has gotten his lawyer involved and plans on dropping the hammer — in court.

I could go on and one about this situation for the rest of the afternoon, but I’d rather post this related article from TMZ.com where Hogan claimed ex-wife Linda took the toilets from their home. Not that this is a particularly good read, but it’s funny to imagine haggard old Linda carrying a toilet out of a mansion. -Eric