News I Missed Without Power

Why have we invented fireworks that turn into dragons yet?

Since I only gained my power at 2:30 AM July 5th, I want to wish everyone a belated Fourth of July. We usually have some dumb post up for every holiday. This post is what you’re getting since everyone else on staff evidently didn’t have power either.

According to Prowrestling.net, Shannon Moore was granted his request to be let go by TNA. Both halves of Ink Inc. are officially gone from the company. We can hope that the brain trust over at TNA gets to cutting more fat off of their roster. I don’t mean making Samoa Joe go to the gym either.

In other news that won’t shock anyone, Bret Hart will take part in the 1000th Raw in a couple of weeks. The WWE will crow about how big the ratings are then us super fans will bitch because it was all because of the old stars and not the WWE building up new stars. Both sides will be right. The following week on episode 1001, we’ll get multiple replays of the old timers squashing Heath Slater and doing other stuff they shouldn’t be able to accomplish at their advanced ages because I’m stuck in three hour Raw hell.

Zack Ryder won a Battle Royal on Smackdown to become the General Manager for Raw and Smackdown for this coming week. I can only hope this kick starts his character all over. The crowd pretty much forgot about him after his initial push which didn’t last long enough in my opinion. Now if only the Board of Directors could decide on a GM quicker than Zach Parise and Ryan Suter chose an NHL team, we could stop using this GM crutch to get people over. -Kevin

 

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

A very long segment makes me think of long legs, to keep my sanity.

So I watched the mid-main event of Cole/Lawler/Christopher/JR/Swagger so I won’t be able to review it properly. I’ll do a Clif’s Notes version later. I am watching the Rock almost live though. His skit isn’t funny either. You’re just making more money pal. The little child gag is overplayed even by WWE standards. The director cuts to some awful shot. Wow, saying your best guy isn’t talented. Great idea. That’s sarcasm by the way. This segment is brutal. Rock finally turns to talk about the Miz with ominous Undertaker like music. The guy laying down the sound beds needs to be fired. Rock still doesn’t have an answer for the Via Satellite line. I decided to stay up to review this? I made a mistake. Cole Mine. It’s funny but it doesn’t help me take him seriously. Lordy, this segment is going to go longer? I’m one of the few idiots that didn’t think any of the Lord of the Rings movies were too long. This is longer. The Miz doing better than the Rock less than a minute in. Solid work by Miz. Great goodily, moodily. More? Lawler takes over reading the GM’s email. Cena takes on Del Rio tonight. The Miz gets to take on the Great Khali. No Josh, this is not must see. At least they’re going to commercial. One of the longer 21 minutes in my life.

Riley takes the beating so that Miz can whack Khali with a chair. The Great Indian jobber. Another yawner of a segment. Cole hyping the segment I already saw. Christopher didn’t shock the world. Except for how shockingly terrible and bloated he looked.

Wow, none of these live shows are without replays from the other show. I feel like I’m being cheated next week. I’m going to be sitting watching Raw while at Smackdown for at least 20 minutes. Morrison gets a good pop from the crowd. He’s with Snooki. Vickie makes no sense and Dolph has a bad suit on. KSU only taught me good taste.

Sheamus takes on Daniel Bryan for the US Title. Gail Kim is ridiculous. The crowd isn’t doing much for Bryan. Glad he got a sign in the crowd. They’re calling attention to a King of the Ring curse. Nice. The match was OK up until the commercial break.

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