Stunt Granny Audio #226

Hulk Hogan and Iron Sheik going at it.

Hulk Hogan and Iron Sheik going at it.

It must be that time of the week again. The time when Kevin and Dusty grace all you lovely people with their magical mystical presence. This week our heroes start things off by discussing TNA’s continued roster purge. This week the victims are Luke Gallows and Tara. Gallows’ exit mystifies them but they agree both Tara and Jeremy Maes have seen better days since their Heat stint came and went. They move on to talking about WWE’s latest Monday Night Raw. It was an attack heavy show as the Wyatt Family and The Shield both joined in on all the reindeer games. Just what are the names of the Wyatt family members? Does Mitchell Cool even know? How long is it going to take Mark Henry to actually retire? Dusty sidetracks things twice, first by having a terrible cellular phone and second by asking Kevin if there was anyone who could have replaced Hogan in the big push spot in 1984. They also talk about how there is Sum Tin Wong with journalistic fact checking these days, and a whole lot more, so you need to listen before you spontaneously combust.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #226

Luke Gallows signs with TNA, may have been masked guy last night on Impact

Drew Hankinson’s impression of a TNA Impact Wrestling fan.

According to Gerweck.net, Luke Gallows posted on his Facebook page that he has signed with TNA, after a stint in sister company Ring Ka King. I don’t know if this is Luke Gallows’ official Facebook page, but the URL says “OfficialLukeGallows,” which means next to nothing in this day and age of handle squatting. And the last post on the page is from June. So unless my browser is out of whack and not displaying recent stories, he either posted the news and took it down, or this is some weirdo’s page who has a Fetish For Festus.

Jeremy thinks there’s a chance that the masked man at the end of last night’s Impact may have been Gallows (see the last photo here). If so, that would mean the rumor mill has churned out such Aces & Eights possibilities as Gallows, Mike Knox, and Chris Masters, three dudes who seem to be good guys but couldn’t cut a money promo if they sang the Million Dollar Man’s theme song a cappella. My only bigger fear is that the faction is being led by Jeff Jarrett, back to “save” “his” company. (“When you’re at the table and you split your Aces or Eights, you pray to God you get a pair of Jacks,” and then two Js appear on the screen, and Jarrett runs down to crickets and fart noises. Ka-ching!) -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio #193

Eric’s 12-shirt Mount Rushmore

It’s a three-man booth this week, with Dusty, Eric and Kevin discussing all sorts of relevant and pertinent and important professional wrestling topics. This week’s Top Five at Five includes John Cena wrestling CM Punk at Raw 1000, Daniel Bryan marrying AJ on the same show, Dolph Ziggler winning a Money in the Bank match and helping turn a stagnant Chris Jericho turn babyface, the rumors of who comprises TNA’s Aces & 8s stable (and why they probably aren’t calling themselves Dead Man’s Hand), and Kurt Angle no-showing the hall of fame inductions in Waterloo, Iowa. The boys also play a round of Match Game, plus they discuss what designs should go on the Mount Rushmore of pro wrestling T-shirts. All this and maybe a little bit more, if you’d just click the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #193

Link

Matt Hardy will not die, shave, leave YouTube; promotes indy match vs. Luke Gallows

Well well well, look what the cat dragged in: According to Prowrestling.net, fresh out of rehab, Matt Hardy will appear for UCW this Friday night in Norcross, Ga., to wrestle Luke Gallows. According to the self-aggrandizing superstar of superstars:

I have signed to compete with UCW…

And in the video description:

I’ve just agreed to wrestle for UCW…

Not to mention he, out of the goodness of his own warm, red, beating heart, Flip-cammed a (decent??) 1:15 promo for his match. (CORRECTION: He cut a decent 57-second promo, then petered out with that “will not die” garbage.) UCW should be so lucky that he signed, agreed, and dusted off that lonely old camcorder to promote the match. Frankly, UCW should be so lucky that he was able to control his withdrawal shakes long enough to sign, that he was coherent enough to agree, and that he didn’t just taze his brother’s girlfriend on camera instead of talking about his career. “WEL-COME-BACK! WEL-COME-BACK!” -Eric

Whoa, even more WWE cuts: Shad, Gallows, jobber, jobber, greasy writer (UPDATE: Ref, too)

 

Lance Hoyt

"Aw, c'mon, why me?" (Yes, that's Vance Archer as Lance Hoyt, and yes, TNA wasted time licensing his action figure.)

According to Prowrestling.net, even more wrestlers have been released today (don’t pick up your phone, Yoshi Tatsu):

Shad Gaspard: A shock to Jeremy, but I think he looked too much like a sweetheart to really be “Da Beast” he was marketed as in OVW. Good wrestler, though, but likely to have been miscast as a monster heel. (Whereas Ezekiel Jackson — who apparently allows WWE to meet its “big black guy” quota — is miscast as a giant babyface.) He would be smart to send a resume to TNA.

Luke Gallows: The Fake Kane, the Freakin’ Deacon, Festus… and now fired. Boy, that’s a lot of Fs.

Fake Kane

"F my life."

Caylen Croft: I liked the Dudebusters, but they were going nowhere. WWE’s tag team division is in shambles just like it’s been for the past eight years, and even though (I think) I like Croft more than Baretta, to WWE they’re the same warm body. Cut one, let the other one dangle. Go to Chikara and be a Ghostbuster instead.

Vance Archer: The former Lance… what the fuck was his name? Lance… Hoyt, that’s right, the former Lance Hoyt from TNA couldn’t find his niche in WWE. Then again his niche is being a smaller, boring version of Diesel with no charisma and a tramp stamp. So long, stinktown.

Big Dick Johnson: Whatever. Go start the next Major League Wrestling and wow us Court Bauer-style into realizing your fat dancer gimmick was untapped brilliance. Gross. -Eric

UPDATE: Aaron “Goose” Mahoney: I at least know who that is, which might be impressive in an era where referees’ names never get mentioned. But then again, I’m obsessed with professional wrestling, so it only makes sense that I sit outside Goosey’s house every night waiting for him to come home know who he is.

Matt Hardy Is On Drugs

Credit PWI:

It is being reported by PWI that Matt Hardy has been sent home form the current WWE European Tour today. Mike Johnson reports there was some concern over the “condition” of Hardy at the live events. Hardy was scheduled to team up with R-Truth against CM Punk and Luke Gallows but after a discussion with WWE officials he lefts the buildings and never returned for his match.

I noticed lately on Smackdown that they’re trying to do the Shelton Benjamin-esque slow bury with Hardy – that is, job him out, make him look as bad as possible for a long period of time, and then let him go to TNA. If he keeps this up, they won’t be able to do it slowly, he’ll be turfed in no time. No big deal though, he’s already completely useless. – Dusty

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

I could only find a picture with 1000 televisions.

As usual, I’m starting my viewing a little bit late. I had to go get beer and walk my dogs. The box of beer I got has a quote from Hunter S. Thompson on it – “Good people drink good beer.” Amen. I’m sucking down Flying Dog In Heat Wheat Hefeweizen. Check for my review later in our forum, which is free.

I must admit that I’m surprised that the 900th episode didn’t warrant three hours of television. It’d suck if it were that long. Just like three hours of TNA is too long on Thursday nights. Check our Audio from last week to hear more about that subject.

We start off with Bret Hart yapping. Now Kane is running down Undertaker and Hart. He’s been doing a solid job on the mic recently. Glad to know the Hart Dynasty is still alive.  Of course Kane is going to give us no satisfaction in the match department. Wait, Bret isn’t fit to wrestle Nexus but he can wrestle the Undertaker? Huh? What a shitty main event.

Highlights of Episode #1 which I in no way watched. Seeing Yokozuna made me remember that The Pensblog showed the Penguins old defenseman Peter Taglianetti tried to slam him before Lex Luger did.

Highlights of the immortal Steve Austin driving the Zamboni from episode #279. Wow, I’ve caught more of this 900 than I thought. Austin could have highlights all night long but I figure they’ll spread out the star power.

Continue reading

Serena’s Gone, One More Round, Serena’s Gone

Yeah, no, it'll be great! Shave your head! We're totally not going to fire you any time soon. We swear and stuff.

According to Figure Four Weekly:

Serena of the Straight Edge Society.

This decision was made several days ago but I guess just got out today.

So I can’t say I’m like super angry about this or anything, it’s just really weird. She was being pushed, she just received a fairly high profile win this past week on Smackdown, and things seemed to be going pretty smooth for her. I have no idea how this came about, so I’ll be interested in hearing more details if/when they become available.

In the meantime, it’s a story about a chick so it’s probably good for a thousand views by itself. – Dusty

WrestleMania 26 Preview #8- CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Straight Edge Softie

Hell yes two more to go! Sorry, cough, this time around Kevin and Jeremy discuss the match up that is probably the most personally driven match on the card. Thy excessively cover both Cm Punk and Rey Mysterio from the beginning of the year and the events leading up to this match. Could it have been booked better or was everything just right? Who is carrying the heavy load during the feud? It’s all in here so download it already.

WrestleMania 26 Preview Audio #8- CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio

Past WrestleMania 26 Preview Audios

Money In The Bank
Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart
Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker
Triple H vs. Sheamus
John Cena vs. Batista

Orton vs. Ted Dibiase vs. Cody Rhodes
Showmiz vs. Wisdom & Truth

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