Headlines: Finlay to ROH, Maven arrested for drugs, Eric Young gets a TV show (not a Corky remake)

Trust me, Eric, we're just as confused as you are about this hosting gig. Then again, your look here makes Guy Fieri look like Bryant Gumbel, so you'll make a great host.

Wow, it’s after-hours news you can use! According to Prowrestling.net, former WWE superstar and backstage producer David “Fit” Finlay has signed with Ring of Honor. The signing makes perfect sense, as Finlay is a well-respected veteran, works tight and realistically without hurting others (take a note, Bob Holly) and is of the same generation, if not a smidgen older, than other recent ROH experienced cameos Lance Storm and Jerry Lynn. What else have we learned from this signing? If you are released from WWE but can work (see Benjamin, Shelton and Mondo, Mike), you may end up in ROH. If you are released from WWE because you love drugs and may die soon (see Angle, Kurt and Hardy, both), say hello to TNA.

Speaking of drugs, according to Prowrestling.net, former WWE superstar and “Tough Enough” winner Maven Huffman was arrested in Florida on drug charges, specifically “doctor shopping” for prescription pain killers. According to the report, Huffman was able to score upwards of 1,000 pills from multiple doctors. Remember when Maven was almost a huge star after eliminating Undertaker from the 2002 Royal Rumble? Yeah, well, like I said above, say hello to TNA! In future news, Kurt Angle was found rummaging through Maven’s bag, and when caught, mumbled, “Whah? I’m mot fealing hif pillf!”

And speeeeaking of TNA, according to Prowrestling.net, current fucking idiot Eric Young has been given his own Animal Planet television show. The show, titled “Fish America,” will highlight “creative, unexpected and dangerous” fishing techniques across the country. Maybe I can pitch a segment with my brother, who, honest to god, shocks worms out of the backyard and fishes with a screwdriver bolted to the end of an aluminum pole. The segment ends with my brother redeeming himself by missing the fish and harpooning Eric Young. -Eric

Tough Enough is Officially Back. You Have Been Warned.

Do you have a hard time sitting through two hours of WWE programming on Monday night? If so you’ll be happy to hear that WWE is giving you an additional hour starting at 8:00. Yes that’s right, WWE Tough Enough is back starting in April. According to this link from WWE.com. The show will start after Raw that night and then settle in at 8:00 pm.

“WWE Tough Enough” will premiere at 11/10 p.m. CT the day after WrestleMania XXVII and immediately following USA’s ratings juggernaut Monday Night Raw. It will then move to its regularly scheduled slot, Mondays at 8/7 p.m. CT, starting on April 11th.

Bringing back Tough Enough is a fine idea as along as they copy the entire structure of The Ultimate Fighter. They can use two injured wrestlers as coaches and give them an excuse to be off of live events and television in the meantime. It also means exposure fo the business but then it seems Kevin Dunn has this covered.

The diverse group of men and women will live and train together in a house in Los Angeles. To see who has what it takes to be the next WWE Superstar or Diva, the contestants will battle it out each week in a series of unique challenges designed to test for such characteristics as showmanship, creativity, athleticism and desire, just to name a few.

So here’s the skinny. This show is going to suck like NXT but it will be on at a much more important spot than NXT ever had. There is no reason to have faith that WWE will actually give us a compelling show. They had the chance with NXT and it is a circus sideshow.  So what possible reason could there be that this show will be watchable? Please, anyone? One?

I thought so. -Jeremy

Maven Makes A Return

Here’s a video we all can appreciate. We all remember Maven right? He was the guy that won Tough Enough and then we never really saw much of his ability after that on WWE television. Well, he has resurfaced ads a pitchman for the QVC. This video is great for the fact that Maven is in full wrestling promo mode throughout. He not only lies and says he has a cat but he furthers it with exaggerated mannerisms and a tight shirt made for clubbing.

Pay special attention to his cat condo or whatever it’s called. Unless it holds all of his one-night stands and scorned women notches then I don’t believe he has a cat at all. What single man owns a cat? Gay men and fat lonely women own multiple cats not just one so that rules Maven out of that scenario.

By the way, who the fuck owns a cat nowadays? Better yet why? Those pieces of ungrateful shit arte worthless and more than half of the damn population is allergic to them. I have a better idea for cat litter boxes so I may as well share.

Instead of letting the animal shit in your house, how about smacking it around and tossing it outside to do it’s business? This way your house doesn’t smell like dried feces and no one has to pop even more pills before entering your abode. -Jeremy

%d bloggers like this: