The @WWE Slammy Awards Are During #Raw Part III

I'm Tired of Writing Previews. Are you tired of reading them?

I’m Tired of Writing Previews. Are you tired of reading them?

Tag Team of the Year – Which Duo Did The Best? – The Shield (Rollins & Reigns), Prime Time Players, The Usos, Cody Rhodes & Goldust and The Real Americans – I’ve covered the Real Americans enough already. They’re not winning. The Prime Time Players may have a gay gentleman in Darren Young and a clear WWE favorite in Titus O’Neil but that has gotten them nowhere aside from having a good dance. The Usos are a notch above PTP but not by much. By hanging in the title picture, I give them a spot ahead but they’re not winning either. The Shield had the titles for longer this year but with the fans voting, I’ve got to go with Cody Rhodes & Goldust. Cody is finally saddled without a gimmick that limits him but unfortunately the tag straps limit your mic time. Goldust has been a fantastic comeback story so he might win two categories because of one reason.

“You Still Got It!” Best Superstar Return Award – Which Returning Competitor Made The Best Comeback in 2013? – Rob Van Dam, Goldust, The Bella Twins, Bruno Sammartino and Chris Jericho – Considering that the WWE doesn’t think we’ve got memories due to their story line plot holes that are larger than pot holes in Ohio this time of the year, we should probably count out Chris Jericho. He has been gone for several months and even though HHH mentioned him, he won’t win the vote. My woman will continue to have to dream about Jerry’s next appearance. Rob Van Dam falls under the same category. He would have been the vote hands down but staying off TV will not help fans thumbs to click RVD in the voting polls. Bruno Sammartino should win this one but he’s in a similar category to Jericho & RVD in that he hasn’t been on TV recently. His reasons for coming back may be wrong headed but he is one of the greatest ever. Giving him a worthless award is the least you could do for the man. The Bella Twins shouldn’t count. Ahh crap, they had been gone for a while, hadn’t they? Well, whatever. They might deserve it for making the women’s division somewhat relevant because of Total Divas but as the show points out, Nikki has been out the majority of the time since their return. Maybe if Brie Bella had been listed by herself, I’d be more interested in voting for them. Goldust is going to win because he’s got gold and a whole lot of momentum behind him.

Best Dance Moves – Who Boogied the Best in 2013? – Fandango, Summer Rae, R-Truth, The Funkadactyls, The Great Khali and the “Miz-co” Inferno – It’s probably not a good thing for the “Miz-co” Inferno that I don’t remember his dance moves because everyone else is less likely to remember. The Great Khali is a dance machine that we haven’t seen since Young Frankenstein. R Truth could win if his name was Xavier Woods and he’s in a storyline trying to steal the Funkadactyls. Why are they listed as a duo while Fandango & Summer Rae being split into separate choices? The dances that Fandango & Summer attempt on a weekly basis are partnered dances. I’d love to see Summer Rae dance her ways into my bedroom but that isn’t the vote. The Funkadactyls will win due to their exposure on Total Divas even though that’s meant less dancing for them since Brodus Clay & Tensai were excavated after several months of extinction for the Xavier Woods feud.

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#ROH Is The Worst – Part XVI

jesse_sorensenROH decided to bring in Jesse Sorensen for at least a match. It is his first televised match since his neck surgery. It seems like a perfect time to give him a feel good victory, right? They’ve had Grizzly Redwood job to nearly everyone on the roster, so have him do the deed. But since ROH is the worst, his opponent was Tomasso Ciampa. As I’ve noted several times, I really enjoy Ciampa but there’s no need for him to beat Sorensen. He just as easily could be fed Q.T. Marshal, R.D. Evans or Silas Young, who I’d prefer since Ciampa finished his feud with the first two already. They could have also brought in some indy wrestler to fill either the spot against Sorensen or Ciampa as ROH likes to do. ROH did make the right call by giving Sorensen a competitive match against Ciampa. Sorensen still took a loss though which seems really dumb. Have him win his return then have him “pay his dues” as if coming back from neck surgery is some walk in the park.

I missed the two of the last three weeks because ROH continues to get bumped for Big Bang Theory at midnight on Sunday/Monday since it’s such an important time slot. The week it did record properly, they replayed their 100th episode which had originally aired about two months ago. I had already noticed that Steve Corino was behind the color person’s headset so something had gone down in the weeks I had missed. I know they had done some online segments and letters but I’m tired of trying to unearth it because ROH’s site Blog and Video sections are terrible. The origin of this complaint thought is what Kevin Kelly said during the match. “Steve, you’re an outstanding analyst. That’s how you got the job in the first place. Let’s make sure you keep it this time, okay?” Holy shit. Kevin Kelly loves doing a 180 with his opinions and it is awful. When Kevin Steen turned baby face, Kelly was all aboard the Steen train which has gone nowhere. Could you please, at least for this set of tapings Mr. Kelly, be wary of Steve Corino? Give him a hard time for at least that length of time. Hell, even as bad as Jerry Lawler is, he still gets a burr under his saddle when JBL brings up his loss to Michael Cole at Wrestlemania. Cole and Lawler get along now but Lawler rightfully remembers when they were at odds. I asked back in August if Kevin Kelly has ever taken a broadcasting class. This action confirms he never has. I’m not sure if Steve Corino is an outstanding analyst but I will say I enjoyed several of his jokes during the broadcast.

Jeans in Boots

If his name was Michelle Elgin, I’d let his fashion faux pas electric slide.

I have one last complaint and it yet again has to do with the choices people make for style. I have made fun of Michael Elgin for his mullet before. He has added to his terrible look by deciding to wear cowboy boots, which are fine. The bad part comes in when he tucks his jeans inside of the boot. ROH is the worst. – Kevin

#ROH Is The Worst – Part XV

silenceI haven’t been off the ROH beat. I’ve been watching for the past month and a half as the tournament for the ROH World Title has unfolded. I did sneak a peak at the results of the iPPV, which was given out for free because of yet another malfunction, to see who the new ROH World Champ was because I didn’t think it’d be on TV. It was on TV though which gave me the additional two weeks of viewing, um how do I say this, pleasure. Sure, I’ll touch on the negativity in this article but for the majority of this time period, I have liked what I’ve seen.

In the last six weeks, Kevin Kelly has not completely sucked. For whatever reason, he seems more comfortable when Nigel McGuinness is his co-pilot. Wikipedia tells me that he got canned for budget reasons. I’d have to say he doesn’t do well arguing because he was tongue tied when Steve Corino or any heel is around. Of course, I spend most weeks bemoaning Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler not arguing with JBL well enough so maybe it was budget cuts. Kelly has made his fair share of dumb comments, but as an overall whole he has been good in selling the matches and describing the title tournament picture well.

I do like ROH’s style of wrestling since it is an alternative to the WWE and WWE Lite AKA TNA. I have noted my reservations about their multi-finisher set of moves numerous times. That problem hasn’t changed. I wish they’d throw in more basic offense instead of a second finisher. But the thing about all of those finishers is that they do look cool and require quite a bit of athleticism. Some people go over board with trying to make it look complicated but most if not all of the men in this tournament don’t do that.

Speaking of the wrestlers in the tournament, ROH made some smart decisions and whittled it down to the four guys at the top of their roster. Adam Cole against Tommaso Ciampa was one semi-final bout while Michael Elgin against Kevin Steen was the other one. The only people on their roster you could make a case for other than these four are Jay Lethal, who isn’t doing better since dropping the Macho Man gimmick but is still an excellent wrestler, Davey Richards, who stinks and is also in an ongoing feuds with Kyle O’Reilly & Bobby Fish and Rocky Romero & Alex Koslov, and Michael Bennett, who needs to be built up but has the potential.

ROH dedicated the last show, this past week’s, to the conclusion of the tournament which is a great idea. They showed build up for Adam Cole and Michael Elgin. ROH also gave them promo time along with soon to be dethroned champion Jay Briscoe. I’m sure they didn’t show the entire match but they showed a lot of it. The match was the bulk of the show though, another positive. The last of three positives was the fact that they decided to throw the strap on the newly heel Adam Cole. He had been trending in that direction but Cole super kicking Briscoe in the back of the head after Jay had handed over the ROH Title to Cole cemented the turn. Too bad the “smart” ROH crowd ruined the moment by starting to cheer for Cole. Maybe ROH isn’t the problem. ROH’s fans are the worst. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #228

The type of young athlete TNA needs to be pushing.

The type of young athlete TNA needs to be pushing.

There’s a whole heap of things to talk about this week, and Kevin and Dusty are the only people adequately prepared to do so! And boy do they ever, starting off with some Monday Night Raw discussion. Dusty is sick of having McMahon family reunions on his television screen. Kevin is confused by the whole thing and wonders if they really think they’re knocking it out of the park with these segments. Dusty is also sick of Michael Cole on commentary, and Jerry Lawler as well, but has no idea how to fix that problem. Is there anyone from another wrestling company worth bringing in? Should WWE look outside the wrestling business?

Then they turn their attention to the mess that is TNA. How long can a company be going out of business before actually going out of business? Do they realize how bad they look by getting rid of so many people and then teasing a surprise appearance for the next show? Did a throwaway reality show really beat their show in the ratings? Did Dixie Carter really call Taeler Hendrix fat? Does she prefer that Angelina Love 35 pounds look? Does she realize Mickie James isn’t exactly a size zero right now herself? Also, the Main Event Mafia is a stale idea that means nothing to anyone, it’s really hard to feel bad for Samoa Joe, James Storm should be in WWE, and a whole lot more! We don’t think you’re too heavy to listen to it, so go for it!

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

The Color RunMy girl and I did the Color Run, the happiest 5k on the planet, this past weekend. It was amusing to have someone douse you in colored corn starch (basically) at four different stations. We had fun people watching which always makes us happy. We will do it again since the proceeds go to Columbus Parks & Recs, of which we take advantage of for frisbee golf and dog walks amongst other things. Time to get to some wrestling. Let’s roll.

We start with Paul Heyman, CM Punk and Brock Lesnar recap. Then Cena recap. Brad Maddox introduces the show. This could be the world’s quickest turn around for a contract signing after the announcement of a match. Doesn’t this wait until the week before the event? John Cena comes out first. Maddox asks him why he chose Bryan. Maddox runs down Bryan’s look. Daniel Bryan comes out to answer the questions. Maddox goes after Bryan wondering why Cena chose him for the match. Cena talks up Bryan and his qualifications but then ends by saying he’s still going to beat him at Summerslam. Maddox interrupts Bryan when he’s ready to talk. Maddox has really flipped the switch from unsure of himself to being a smarmy ass in this segment. It was well played but his character changed way too much unless they explain it later.

Sheamus comes out sporting a serious bruise on his leg from the MITB match. Ouch. Alberto Del Rio is his opponent. The “What’s trending, Cole?” sign gets a laugh out of me. Why are they chanting his name now? JBL talks up Del Rio and in my opinion it’s deserved. Nothing like being left at the top of the card for two years before finally finding out what clicks for you. Awesome break with Sheamus forearming Del Rio outside. Del Rio took advantage of the leg during the break. Damien Sandow watches from the back, with a suit on so we’ve got nothing to worry about. Sheamus keeps making mini-comebacks but nothing sustained. Sheamus sells the bad leg on the Irish Curse back breaker. A Top rope enziguri only gets Del Rio a two count. Sheamus crumples, Del Rio rolls him up for the win. Nice match.

Anyone with a set of eyes knew that Vickie was getting a job with a quickness. I didn’t expect it on Smackdown. Booker T & Teddy Long argue like a bunch of girls. That’s all that break was. Woof.

Christian came out before the break but his opponent didn’t come down until after it. Titus O’Neil gets to take the Prime Time Players into singles competition. Wow, O’Neil tossed Christian back into the ring as Jerry Lawler described it “Like a frisbee”. Another ouch. Interesting that Lawler calls Christian an over acheiver. Pretty much code for “He’s stuck at being a fringe main event guy”. Killswitch. The Prime Time Players don’t start their singles reign well. Josh Matthews is joined by Ryback. He does enjoy bullying. He hates average. Good promo.

Mark Henry comes out and loves Texas. He calls out the Shield. They answer the call. The Usos come out to make the save. That was a weak save. But it makes it official that they want people to cheer Henry. John Cena talks to Daniel Bryan. He claims someone else is pulling the strings. Bryan asks him to politely not interfere in any of his matches. That always means a beat down is coming.

Darren Young is a much more obvious sacrificial lamb against Dolph Ziggler. I wouldn’t have been surprised if O’Neil won. The Prime Time Players couldn’t have been asked for better opponents. Both are great in the ring and sell really well. Flap jack for Young gets him a near fall. He argues with the ref. Zig Zag. Big E Langston slides into the ring. Dolph gets the upper hand but the power kicks in. Ziggler is starting to throw in even more athleticism to show off for real now. Good character change to make even more people cheer him. He could be an under control Kofi Kingston or Shelton Benjamin.

Miz TV brings us Total Divas and his hosting of Summerslam. I’ll have to talk to the lady for real about a column. Miz sounds too stern introducing the Divas. The Miz calls Jerry Lawler up because he’s an old horn dog. Eva Marie slaps Lawler. The Miz closes the segment with “Awesome.” How can the Divas be happy about that segment even if they’re getting their own dumb show? They just pooped on them.

HHH talks to Brad Maddox. Steph steps in like she wasn’t around when HHH just left. I can’t stop laughing at how that was filmed. I mean, did HHH & Steph not acknowledge each other? His office can’t be that spacious that there’s two separate doors not in view of each other. They love vignettes for the Wyatt Family.

Fandango come out with Summer Rae. It’s his birthday. Damien Sandow is on the head set. Cody Rhodes is Fandango’s opponent. A fun match is going on while JBL, Cool & Sandow argue. Cool with a knock out of a line when he says he gets evaluated every Monday night. Disaster Kick into Sandow on the apron and Fandango in the ring who got the briefcase more than the kick. Cross Rhodes for the win.

CM Punk gets to talk about his second replay of the night. Punk says that Brock Lesnar’s biggest weapon is the fear he generates. Punk is not afraid. Isn’t this the same reason he was going to beat the Undertaker? The Best vs The Beast. Interesting. Paul Heyman likes the salesman ship. Heyman gets around to accepting the match. Heyman ends by saying “The Beast is the Best”. Punk glares at Heyman.

Wade Barrett gets to lose to Rob Van Dam. Oh good gravy, they talk about the Royal Baby a second time. Barrett is looking tough early though. He got busted up too but I missed it looking at my email. Standard RVD offense. Five Star Frog Splash.

Zeb Colter is mad at people for chanting “Yes!” Daniel Bryan got a hand out from John Cena. Ha. Perfect heel schtick. Jack Swagger gets in the ring. The announcers point out that the opponents could be limitless. OU Sucks! Swagger drops Bryan going for a suicide dive. Yes Lock! The obvious second opponent is Antonio Cesaro. Break. Cesaro looking strong. The booing after Bryan’s false start of a comeback was hilarious. It was perfect because it made no sense to have that moment there. Bryan kicks out of a European Uppercut which was aided by Swagger tossing Bryan off the top rope. The announcers are blowing him too. Now that they’ve established a pattern, the earlier momentum shift made sense. Basement drop kick in the tree of Woe by Bryan. Cesaro countered a super side suplex. Bad choice of suplexes by Bryan. Cesaro pummels Bryan but he still kicks out. Another really long match. Bryan counters out of the Neutralizer. Suicide dive takes out both Swagger & Cesaro. Bryan counters a super upper cut into a small package. Wow, that was slick. Alex Riley reappears. Brad Maddox has another opponent in mind. I take it we get a Big Show return? Didn’t I see that floating around the internets this morning?

It is not. Ryback is the opponent. He gets to dominate Bryan. The crowd chants “You can’t wrestle.” Ryback has a chin lock on. That seems so wrong. Bryan counters into a single leg crab. Ryback takes over quickly. Knee to the jaw of a charging Ryback. Meat hook gets a two count. Ryback sets up a table. Bryan nails a suicide dive that drives Ryback into the announce table. Missile drop kick gets a two count. Yes Lock in the middle of the ring. Ryback gets the break. Ouch. Power bomb on the floor. Power bomb through the table for the Bryan DQ win. John Cena makes the save after the match. Cena challenges him to a tables match. Vince McMahon backs up Brad Maddox. Are we finally getting some traction on this family feud story? -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio #222

Donald DuckJeremy and Kevin are back for more because WWE Raw was hitting on all cylinders according to the former. How many cylinders did Kevin think it was running on? They try to focus on the good but start with the bad, which was the McMahon family power struggle? What exactly is the point of this angle? Will the reveal make sense when they get around to it? Jeremy & Kevin tie in talk about Stephanie bigfooting the Divas. Or did AJ Lee & Kaitlyn get a rub from her? Vickie Guerrero & Brad Maddox got their screen time because of the McMahons. Are they finally finally using Brickie right?  The guys move on to the positive by talking about CM Punk and Brock Lesnar. Has Punk ever been in a feud like this one? How many people on the roster could feud with Lesnar? Jeremy & Kevin talk about a real injury that Daniel Bryan during his match with Randy Orton. Did the WWE adjust well? The big segment of Raw was the retirement angle from Mark Henry? Did Kevin think it was a good segment? How about it’s predictability? How did the internet bite on this retirement talk when it originated on Twitter? They move on to talk about the double switch by Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler. How will the crowd react to Del Rio? How violent was Dolph Ziggler? Last but not least, Jeremy & Kevin talk about the long injured Christian and his come back. Did the WWE do a good job with it? Find out whether we did a good job on this audio by clicking the link below!

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #WWE #Raw

Sleepy_Puppies

My dogs crashed out early which is strange enough in itself. When you add an open front door to the equation, I’m really confused. Time to start this review though before I inevitably have to take them on another spin. Let’s roll.

I wasn’t paying attention to Twitter today so I had no idea they worked an angle on it. John Cena tries to climb aboard the Daniel Bryan bandwagon with his promo. Brickie comes out without the Brad Maddox part. Ryback comes out to merchandise. Doesn’t he know it’s summer? I’ll give the marketing department an F on this one. John, it’s two dollars that Ryback owes you. Vickie almost cracked a smile at the granny panties on a pole match. Ryback decides to go with a last man standing match. Mitchell Cool had “sources at the scene” when Heyman & Lesnar went to WWE Headquarters. It was a scary situation according to Jerry Lawler’s sources. Why couldn’t hey get real words? Real sources. They work for the WWE. It happened hours ago. You used Twitter to announce this angle. All of the information should be out already. The angle destroys itself.

Randy Orton is taking on Damien Sandow because the WWE liked their match on Smackdown. Sandow had good points but a terrible rhyme. Awkward commercial break as Orton is in the middle of a drop kick. RKO. The crowd goes crazy. Fair enough match but whatever. I dig the moment of going to the announcers but having Big Show KO Orton. Cool called it out then they went to replay.

My lady thinks it’s bull shit that she didn’t get to see Chris “Jerry” Jericho and his light up jacket last week. I agree. The traveling dancing circus are going to help Jericho judge Fandango‘s dancing. Lawler makes an awful ballet joke. R Truth comes out for more dance. Fandango leaves after R Truth wins on the score cards. This gimmick is ridiculous. So is this Lesnar angle. Just another partial answer segment. I don’t get it. I’m not more invested in the answer.

Daniel Bryan is challenging Ryback again. Ryback turns him down. Kane steps up. Ryback rules. Another solid segment. Dolph Ziggler is taking on Alberto Del Rio again. Why did I watch Smackdown? Jack Swagger decides to show his mug with Zeb. Dolph gets kicked in the head off a missed enziguri. Jack Swagger gets to look really good. Ouch, it looked like Dolph & Alberto took head shots with the ladder. Upon further review, sell job by Ziggler. Del Rio looked like he took one in the noggin.

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