Michael Tarver is mentally handicapped

Pictured above is a documentary detailing the 2011 NFL offseason.

Forget about the fast and furious NFL offseason action. We’ve got this:

Michael Tarver on twitter claimed that John Cena purposely fractured his arm with a chair shot and laughed at him about it. He claimed Cena felt threatened by Tarver’s promos and then got Tarver released.

Pretty sure that one isn’t true. Call me crazy. – Dusty

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WWE Says Goodbye to Michael tarver

According to Prowrestling.net Michael Tarver was released by WWE over the weekend. Some other wrestlers were released as well but the only one that matters is Tarver. He was pretty bad to start NXT but came along fine when given the chance to talk. After the Cena angle where he removed members of NXT it was clear there was no room for him. Sure he showed up very once in a while backstage but it never amounted to anything. Not sure where a guy like this goes. HE was never given a chance to show his potential nor his weaknesses. Suppose you could say this is a head scratcher as he was never given a real moment for success. But he is a former WWE Superstar so someone in TNA must be jacking it to this news. -Jeremy

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

It's been a parade of men in trunks as the WWE shows off it's roster for the 40 man Royal Rumble.

Jeremy IMed me last week and said that he was getting the Royal Rumble. For some reason, it hadn’t dawned on me that I could actually buy a pay per view instead of watching it at Dusty’s neighbor. I have decided to join him in purchasing the pay per view so I’m going to type and talk my mind this week. That means I get the week started with a blog and a Leinenkugel Creamy Dark.

The GM screws Edge one last time. At least they’re keeping an ongoing storyline for a change. Someone has a shot at #40. Tyson Kidd is dispatched first. Wow, has Jack Swagger fallen and not just for this challenge. McIntyre is another guy in a downward spiral. “Who wants to see a smashed lap top computer?” Can’t say I ever imagined those words would be uttered on Raw. Even worse that the crowd popped for it. CM Punk and crew come out. Are they trying to show off all 40 competitors tonight? Mason Ryan officially gets a name. CM Punk cuts an OK promo. Barrett gets a crack on the mic. Edge is such a pussy for leaving when Nexus showed up. Nice big man show down. Mystery GM chimes in to make a Barrett vs. Punk match. The loser has their crew yanked from the Rumble. I’m going to have to count the roster size. They are going to exclude some good wrestlers and add jobbers which is royally dumb.

Morrison & Henry take on Sheamus (another guy who’s been in a funk for longer than I expected) & Del Rio. I smell Henry taking a pin. They take a match break at a predictable time.

Mark Henry takes on Sheamus, who looks like a pansy until the Rogue Kick. Del Rio gets the arm bar on Henry. Looks like I was a little off since Henry tapped out. Two heels should not be celebrating and smiling at each other. On should have turned on the other and tossed him out of the ring to prove they’d win on Sunday. Faces played patty cake like that.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Even I have been bored by my site. We have been shit recently.

Let’s get this thing started. I’m starting to drink after a good work out. I was tired of not having something new on the site so even though I’m starting my viewing at 10:20 PM EST, I’m posting a running review. Hopefully this will be funny. And if you our great fans are lucky, I’ll even get to infect your ear waves too.

Jeremy and I were talking about this earlier today, Husky Harris would be an awesome addition to Nexus. He played a great dick. Barrett introduces John Cena. Jer and I also agree that it’d be great if Cena doesn’t pull the whole “Enemy Within” shenanigans. I want him beating people down. Tarver is awesome on the mic. Too bad his in ring skills are questionable. Another Jeremy & Kevin topic today. We gab like school girls sometimes. Maybe we should just post those. We tend to cover stuff we don’t get to in audio form. I like Barrett’s offer to Cena about tag partners. I guess we’ll get to see Tarver’s skills. Bourne could make him look silly. Henry will just squash him. Justin Gabriel’s hair dye looks bad but does get him around the boy band look. Why didn’t Bourne attack Taver while he yapped?

Henry doing what I expected after the commercial break. I guess Cena can’t turn right away. I’ll forgive the the short arm. Bourne’s standing moonsault is awesome. Still remember seeing that from the 3rd row or something in Detroit. Cole pulling for Cena is bizarre with his new character. Aww crap. Fucking assholes. That is lazier than our site. You get paid to write this stuff. Make it interesting.  Where is the rest of Nexus? Is Barrett letting Cena thin the herd? The crowd is going pretty solid. The GM saves the day for the first time ever. Wow, not only did the GM stop a boring beat down, he/she just made the angle interesting again. The GM must have something in for Tarver though. He got his ass beat before they intervened.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

I could only find a picture with 1000 televisions.

As usual, I’m starting my viewing a little bit late. I had to go get beer and walk my dogs. The box of beer I got has a quote from Hunter S. Thompson on it – “Good people drink good beer.” Amen. I’m sucking down Flying Dog In Heat Wheat Hefeweizen. Check for my review later in our forum, which is free.

I must admit that I’m surprised that the 900th episode didn’t warrant three hours of television. It’d suck if it were that long. Just like three hours of TNA is too long on Thursday nights. Check our Audio from last week to hear more about that subject.

We start off with Bret Hart yapping. Now Kane is running down Undertaker and Hart. He’s been doing a solid job on the mic recently. Glad to know the Hart Dynasty is still alive.  Of course Kane is going to give us no satisfaction in the match department. Wait, Bret isn’t fit to wrestle Nexus but he can wrestle the Undertaker? Huh? What a shitty main event.

Highlights of Episode #1 which I in no way watched. Seeing Yokozuna made me remember that The Pensblog showed the Penguins old defenseman Peter Taglianetti tried to slam him before Lex Luger did.

Highlights of the immortal Steve Austin driving the Zamboni from episode #279. Wow, I’ve caught more of this 900 than I thought. Austin could have highlights all night long but I figure they’ll spread out the star power.

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Stunt Granny Audio #110

Join us next week on Monday Night Raw as Team Nexus performs Flight of the Bumble Bee...

Kevin and Dusty pilot this here edition of Stunt Granny Audio, and oh what an audio it is, folks. The fearless duo talk about TNA’s latest boneheaded move of signing Rob Van Dam to a match limit contract instead of a grown up person contract, and the ramifications of such a decision. The gang also tackles the WWE pay-per-view spectacular Summer Slam, and the following night’s Monday Night Raw program. Are they pushing Nexus properly? Are they really getting over? Or can different things be done to better help get them over? They talk about these things and more, before switching over to talk about their fantasy football league, which includes all the members of the Stunt Granny Universe. They talk strategy, picks that made them happy and picks that they might regret. All this and so much more, so just fucking listen and like it!

Stunt Granny Audio #110

Stunt Granny Audio #101

Hell yes, Eric and Jeremy get the nod for the first show after history was made last audio. This time around the guys discuss the end of Monday Night Raw. Why not all of Raw? Well, because it sucked, that’s why. On top of that, they work around some discussion about the upcoming season of NXT. Will the end of Raw affect NXT? Will it even be brought up? Should it be brought up? Who knows, but they sure like talking about it and making a slew of guesses. So listen up for a few minutes. It won’t be a complete waste of time.

Stunt Granny Audio #101

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