Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

It's been a parade of men in trunks as the WWE shows off it's roster for the 40 man Royal Rumble.

Jeremy IMed me last week and said that he was getting the Royal Rumble. For some reason, it hadn’t dawned on me that I could actually buy a pay per view instead of watching it at Dusty’s neighbor. I have decided to join him in purchasing the pay per view so I’m going to type and talk my mind this week. That means I get the week started with a blog and a Leinenkugel Creamy Dark.

The GM screws Edge one last time. At least they’re keeping an ongoing storyline for a change. Someone has a shot at #40. Tyson Kidd is dispatched first. Wow, has Jack Swagger fallen and not just for this challenge. McIntyre is another guy in a downward spiral. “Who wants to see a smashed lap top computer?” Can’t say I ever imagined those words would be uttered on Raw. Even worse that the crowd popped for it. CM Punk and crew come out. Are they trying to show off all 40 competitors tonight? Mason Ryan officially gets a name. CM Punk cuts an OK promo. Barrett gets a crack on the mic. Edge is such a pussy for leaving when Nexus showed up. Nice big man show down. Mystery GM chimes in to make a Barrett vs. Punk match. The loser has their crew yanked from the Rumble. I’m going to have to count the roster size. They are going to exclude some good wrestlers and add jobbers which is royally dumb.

Morrison & Henry take on Sheamus (another guy who’s been in a funk for longer than I expected) & Del Rio. I smell Henry taking a pin. They take a match break at a predictable time.

Mark Henry takes on Sheamus, who looks like a pansy until the Rogue Kick. Del Rio gets the arm bar on Henry. Looks like I was a little off since Henry tapped out. Two heels should not be celebrating and smiling at each other. On should have turned on the other and tossed him out of the ring to prove they’d win on Sunday. Faces played patty cake like that.

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So this is Christmas?

Happier times.

And what has WWE done:

World Wrestling Entertainment has come to terms on the release of WWE SmackDown Superstar Kaval (Brandon Silvestry) as of today, December 23, 2010. We wish Kaval the best in all future endeavors.

Fuck the heck?

Stunt Granny Audio- WWE TLC 2010 Preview

Pretty straight forward huh? Yup, it is the return of the audio PPV preview shows. Kevin and Jeremy come at ya to discuss WWE’s TLC PPV.  They cover every match in great detail save for one. Oh and it isn’t the one you think it is. They discuss the difference between WWE Divas and TNA’s Knockouts in the context of actually mattering. They also run down the problems with how the Smackdown main event changed. Was it necessary or was it a stroke of genius on their part? They then break in to song and relive past WWE TLC match glories, well, not really but we need to fill space here to make you listen. I mean how do you fill space on a preview show without giving everything away? If I was a better writer maybe I could come up with something but I’m not so I didn’t. So now you gave to listen.

WWE TLC 2010 Preview

Mickie James released by WWE

Mickie James released something in my pants.

Straight from the “I can’t believe they released her” and “They don’t know what they are doing!” file; WWE released internet darling and over all fine looking woman Mickie James. This should shock absolutely no one with half a stump on their shoulders. Look at how Mickie has been used for the past few months. They had Maryse berate her and call her at just like Rachel Ray. Then they had the stick figure charisma vacuum Michelle McCool and her funny Telemundo sidekick Layla call her Piggy James and with the help of WWE’s production staff mock in her with different videos. WWE wasn’t even trying to hide the fact they hated her look and her “win” against Michelle McCool was sad. On top of that she lost the belt right back and never got a word in. If the rumors that the WWE are using her tardiness catching up with transportation are true, well, good for her. You know she did it on purpose.

But allow me a moment to speak directly to Stunt Granny Hall of Famer Mickie James

“Mickie, Alexis, do you mind if I call you that? I love you. Good luck with your music career and if possible stay away from TNA. Yes they will tempt you with an offer of money and dreams of success but it is all lies. Look at Tara/Victoria. Look at how they botched her from the get go and now she is just another pretty face albeit a very pretty face. But Mickie you are more than that. We here, no, I won’t speak for the group, this is between you and me; if you decide to keep wrestling there are plenty of opportunities to wrestle. ROH brings in Shimmer wrestlers for their cards. There is the Female Fight League and they have some talent to work with. How great would it be wrestling Cheerleader Melissa and Awesome Kong? I know how great it sounds writing this.

You know what else sounds awesome?  You sending me pictures of yourself in different states of undress. Yeah, I’m forward like that but it’s all good. You can reach me at stuntgranny@gmail.com. Drop me some digits baby and let’s see where this thing goes. You know, now that there is no conflict of interest. What, the whole girlfriend thing? Nah, it’s cool, she knows the score. When its meant to be its meant to be ya know?  If not, no big thing girl. Good luck in whatever you do and stay sexy.” -Jeremy

Awesome Kong Officially Gone From TNA

No this isn’t Wrestlemania 26 related but it is importnat  even if it was from last week. So, according to her twitter by way of Prowrestlingnet, Dixie Carter has confirmed that Awesome Kong is gone from TNA.

Due to personal reasons, Kong asked for/was granted an early release from her contract,” Carter wrote. “We support her during this time and hope she is back soon.

Now based off of this quote it appears that Kong has some things to attend to away from Wrestling. You can only reason that those things are contacting WWE and getting a job. TNA messed this one up from the get go. They let a piece of shit like Bubba The Love Sponge ruin his mouth and when she handled things the old school way they did nothing about it. They let a talented and marketable wrestler walk instead of firing a tubby nothing.

Good move Dixie, hopefully the .8 rating you now receive is good enough. Gotta figure Bubba is bringing in about .0000000000007 of that rating. Eventually that has to help right?

As for Kong, she won’t go without work for long and personally, of course, seeing her in a WWE ring would be aces. She automatically stands out and has an actual physical opponent in Beth Phoenix as well as built in beauty feuds with Maryse and Michelle McCool. Oh and lets not forget WWE also has Gail Kim dwindling away. What better way to get her going again?

Mickie James is Injured- Sad Face

Not sure how the hell this got by us, well, other than our rampant alcohol consumption and Eric’s fornication issues but Mickie James underwent surgery last week. So this explains her quick title loss to Michelle McCool on Smackdown at least. This info comes straight off of her very own twitter account. You too can follow her at mickiejamesdiva.
I tried finding the actual twat/tweet/twit and cant; do it but trust me it’s there somewhere. Only issue I have with this is the fact she got bent out of shape that “dirtsheets” took her tweet and reported it as their own.

“I love how dirt sheets post wrestlers tweets, like it’s their own steller reporting! Lame! Report that 1!”

Not sure what got her all bent out of shape. She tweeted it and if the person follows her they report on it. The news wasn’t; anywhere else that I saw so what the fuck is she talking about. Please, please my dear Mickie, we love you at Stunt Granny. Don’t turn in to a rancid whiner like so many other wrestlers.  If you post it and they use it for the crux of a story it isn’t stellar reporting but it is reporting. Sigh -Jeremy

Best of 2009 – Kevin Edition

Who gets to walk down Stunt Granny's red carpet for 2009?

So there was a mix up at Stunt Granny central and I thought we were to do a YEAR end awards write up not a decade end awards write up. Eric and Dusty are better at that stuff anyway.  I’m just plowing through 2009 happenings. I’ve gone through my digital camera, mined through the internet and have culled up the best parts of this past year.

Best tag teamSarita & Taylor Wilde. This category is an awful one. I went with Sarita & Wilde because I like to look at them. They’ve also had a nice long run (since September 20th) and have been featured on TV. They lost the belts after the New Year so I’m sticking with the hot stuff and cutie pie combination.

2nd PlaceBeer Money. I want to go with them but they’ve been kicked in the teeth for the past 6 months.

3rd PlaceJeriShow.  They only made the tag belts prominent in the WWE for 2 months but that’s better than anybody else in the last five years.

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