Stunt Granny Audio #196

This week it’s a three man booth as Eric, Kevin and Dusty combine their resources to discuss the latest happenings in the world of professional wrestling. While Dusty was the only person on earth who enjoyed Booker T’s commentary, the trio all agree that it is for the best for him to move on to being the general manager on Smackdown. They also talk about just how bad ROH is lately, with their unique brand of fat guys in t-shirts wrestling for belts that mean nothing, and Jim Cornette seemingly losing the magic touch by the day. They also turn their attention to TNA, and agree that it has largely been actually good lately, with one glaring, crack addled elephant in the room preventing perfection. All this and so much more, so spare an hour of your life, because while you probably *will* regret it, they want you to and have mob connections, so you’ll be forced to eventually anyway.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #196

#WatchROH – Aired 7 May 2012

We get a replay of Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander beating the Briscoes with the help Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin. Tomasso Ciampa starts off the show with his clown car. Matt Taven is his opponent. Kevin Kelly tries to sell us on Taven’s credibility. Ciampa got a quick jump on Taven. Jay Lethal comes to ring side and sits down. Ciampa nailed his finisher then stared at Lethal. Taven reversed into a suplex on the exposed concrete. They exchange on their knees and feet back in the ring. Taven uses his legs to his advantage. Taven gives Ciampa a neck breaker after Ciampa was hung up on the top rope. Ciampa kicks out after a frog splash. Nigel McGuinness says the crowd is going nuts. They aren’t. Ciampa gave Taven a jumping knee but only got two. Ciampa kneed Taven twice in the Tree of Woe.  Ciampa nails “Project Ciampa” for a win. If a schmuck gives Ciampa this trouble, shouldn’t Lethal walk all over him?

Veda Scott interviewed TJ Perkins who will be wrestling Mike Mondo again. The Young Bucks make fun of Perkins. They still suck, not in a good way. Perkins had a paint by numbers promo. He’s not engaging. I love his in ring work. They shake hands, which is more of a rarity than not shaking. Perkins gets in a neck breaker. Mondo crawled under the ring to attack Perkins from behind. Mondo fish hooked and dragged Taven around. Kevin Kelly tells me to set my DVR to watch Rhino take on Davey Richards. It won’t be that epic. Mondo ground his elbow into Perkins head. Mondo exposed the eyeball and appeared to be ready to eat it. Perkins fought out and started to use his speed advantage. Perkins nails a missile drop kick. The Young Bucks came to ring side. They distract Perkins. Mondo tumbles to the floor. Obvious over the top rope spot. One of the Young Bucks holds a leg. Mondo gets the win. The All Night Express makes the save after Mondo & the Bucks attack PErkins after the match.

Charlie Haas gives everyone a reminder that the Briscoes started the war between themselves. Shelton Benjamin said they want their belts. The Briscoes admit to starting the feud. They’re going to whoop them in Toronto. Truth Martini runs down his houses matches. Roderick Strong told Fit Finlay he’ll be in for the biggest fight of his life. Michael Elgin tells Adam Cole that he’s the only break out star. Rhino said that he’s going to take out Eddie Edwards. Eddie says it’s all about who can take more punishment. He told Rhino he won’t stand in his way to getting the ROH Title back. Mike Bennett told Lance Storm that he’s pathetic for asking for a rematch. Bennett said that Storm’s career will come to an end at Border Wars. I just realized that Border Wars was last night. Their events seem more packed together than the WWE’s PPV. I’m not even looking up the results but Dusty’s “LOL ROH” tweet takes on a whole other context now.

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Stunt Granny Audio #184

Caution: Clown car ahead.

This week Kevin and Dusty are at the helm of Stunt Granny Audio, and you are in good hands for sure, as they navigate you around the biggest stories in the week of professional wrestling. Those stories include the latest in the NHL playoffs and Josh Hamilton’s ownage of the Baltimore Orioles. They also find time to talk about some actual wrestling, including what they deemed worthy of discussion on Monday Night Raw. Just how earth shattering was the return of Paul Heyman? Just how vital to the entire show *was* that women’s tag team match? Why does Dusty hate the overrun so much? They then turn their attention to ROH. Dusty blows Kevin’s mind by revealing RD Evans’ secret identity. The duo sound impressed with Mike Bennett, and less so with Prince Nana. And then focus shifts to TNA. Or is it Impact Wrestling? Whatever it’s called, they seem to have a Master’s Degree in Giving People Stuff They No Longer Want To See. Do they find anything positive about the company to talk about? You’ll have to tune in to find out, and it’s not even going to take an hour off your life, so have a heart, people!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #184

#WatchROH – Aired 31 March & 7 April

I’m not going to bother with doing a full review for the show three weeks ago, but I am going to mention the results and little comments.

Tomasso Ciampa is one of the few guys that can cut a promo but they bring out a clown car with him. Jim Cornette is brilliant, right? Kyle O’Reilly took him on in the $25,000 pyramid tournament. Ciampa is no selling way too much in this match. Ciampa won with a knockout via a knee strike to the stomach. Ciampa no sold a dragon sleeper & knee strikes to the head too. Woof. The work isn’t bad but who thought it was smart to book a match this way?

Davey Richards is letting Kyle O’Reilly be himself. Richards isn’t happy without him not observing the code of honor. He says something about his opponent Brian McBride in a Proving Ground match. Dear lord, how many type of matches do you have? Richards picture for his tale of the tape is awful. How does anyone let that slide? Richards squashes McBride. (Edit: Wait, was his name really Brian? Like the soccer player? I don’t care enough to rewind.)

Kevin Steen needs more mic time. He doesn’t really. But we’re getting it. Steen wants more matches. He calls himself out for not wrestling. He doesn’t even come out obnoxious. It comes out stupid. Davey Richards wants to fight him. Steen calls out Cornette for being a bad figure head. Amen.

The Briscoes and World Greatest Tag Team replay. Jay Lethal is mad at Tomasso Ciampa. Jay, why not talk ROH out of dumb stipulations like time limit draws? Do it a couple of times a year at most, not every other month.

Mike Bennett comes down with his clown car. Granted, Maria Kanellis is a nice shiny item from this clown car. Eddie Edwards comes down. Nigel McGuinness mentioned Edwards winning money in a tag team tournament. Jimminy Christmas. Stop with the tournies for money. Please come back on Pro Wrestling Ohio. ROH is going to be the death of me. The ref bites on the worst acting ever from Maria so that Mike Bennett can win. That’s why I don’t miss her, she has no acting ability.

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#WatchROH – Aired 18 February 2012

This is what I thought Jimmy Jacobs looked like attacking Kevin Steen.

We start off with review of Kyle O’Reilly against Eddie Edwards. I think this Baltimore crowd has seen more tapings than a PWO crowd. Kevin Kelly tells us we’re out of a main event because Shelton Benjamin hasn’t paid his fine yet. Charlie Haas comes out. Haas says Briscoe ran into the chair. Charlie said that he’ll wrestle. The Briscoes hit the ring. The crowd isn’t tired of chanting “Man up!” Jim Cornette comes out. Mark Briscoe is going to take him. Jay agrees to be handcuffed to the ring post. Their commercials promoting their next live event are hysterically bad.

Cheese and rice. They show footage from Kevin Steen interrupting Mike Mondo and someone. Andy Ridge is Kevin Steen‘s opponent tonight. Steen suckers in Ridge with a hand shake. According to Steve Corino (I think) wrestling has never seen anything like Steen before. Corino defends Steen’s fatness by saying he has good cardio. Steen power bombed Ridge on the ring apron. Steen wins with an F5. It was hilarious with Corino trying to make Steen sound evil with the crowd chanting. Steve Corino got into the ring. Jimmy Jacobs made the save. Hilarious watching someone so small attack him. Jacobs wants a piece of Steen.

Veda Scott is interviewing Davey Richards and Kyle O’Reilly. They sucked. They’re over stuff and wrong wolves got picked. Mike Mondo & Matt Taven were set to take on Eddie Edwards & Adam Cole. Taven was the someone from above that got attacked by Steen. Cole and Taven start the match. Cole looks pretty sharp. I don’t think I’ve seen him so far this year.Mondo got Edwards riled up and paid for it. Mondo took over after Taven had turned things around on Edwards. Eddie got the hot tag to Cole. The crowd isn’t into him much. Cole needs to get rid of the tropical island on the trunks. Mondo & Taven collide. Kevin Kelly yells “What is that?” as Nigel matter of factly says “A German Suplex”. Kelly is an idiot as he says he needs to find out the name of the move after. Mondo attacks Taven after the match.

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Kevin’s Blog: #ROH Aired 11 February 2011

Tag team wrestling isn't dead in ROH.

Kyle O’Reilly is going to prove to Eddie Edwards that he’s a bigger man. Eddie says Kyle started this whole ordeal. Eddie is going to knock sense into Kyle. It’s kind of strange that a grudge match they have built up for at least 3 weeks is a curtain jerker. The match has no action until O’Reilly gets in a couple of knees.  Edwards kicks him into a barricade after getting O’Reilly lost running around. Kevin Kelly is trying to sell the Ankle Lock as Davey Richards “move”. Richards shows up at ring side as they go to commercial.

O’Reilly has a pretty slick looking triple butterfly suplexes that he turned into a cross arm breaker. Edwards evidently is the weakest man ever and tumbles over the top rope with O’Reilly while trying to suplex him. Edwards kicks the ring post. Adam Cole comes down to the ring and starts rooting for Eddie. Edwards only gets a two count after  double stomp. They exchange two counts after back and forth action. Edwards turns a Dragin Sleeper into a bridge pin. He only got two. A single leg Boston Crab turns to a pin for O’Reilly. Edwards turns it into another pin and gets the win. Edwards talks about tag team partners. He offers Adam Cole a spot as a tag team partner. I guess tag team wrestling isn’t completely dead.

Steve Corino is going to be the color commentator for some events now. We get a replay of Kevin Steen’s promo. Mike Mondo is wrestling Matt Taven who is debuting in ROH. Corino is still at ring side. After early exchanges, Mondo takes over. They have mirrored each other too much in this match. Kevin Steen interrupts and complains that these guys got a match this week unlike him who has to wait until next week. Steen gives Taven (I originally wrote Maven) an F5. Steen then does the same to Mondo. Steen jaws at Corino as they go to commercial.

They replay the end of last week’s show. Shelton Benjamin was fined $5000 for a chair shot to the head. Charlie Haas is yapping about getting satisfaction. Benjamin says he’ll need to be sued to get the $5000 off of him. Oh & we’re losers if we root for the Briscoes. Jim Cornette says no one in ROH is above the law. I mean, except for everyone who holds the company hostage as we saw last week. Minor detail Jim. Benjamin will not compete until he’s paid the fine. The Briscoes say they’ll whip Benjamin & Haas when they wrestle them again. They said they’re fighting champs. This segment is such a train wreck week in and week out. It’s three terrible promos strung together.

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ROH Results: Firsthand Account Of ROH’s Davis Arena TV Taping

Stunt Granny friend and partner in crime Steve Williams checks in with this burning missive:

Here is my way-too-long, nearly 1700 word account of Ring of Honor’s  national television taping, which was held in Louisville’s historic Davis Arena on 10/1/11.  There are no match times, because only fags bring notebooks and stopwatches to wrestling shows.  Enjoy.

So without any further ado, here is his firsthand account of ROH’s television taping last night:

The taping appeared to be a legitimate sellout.  We arrived at 6:45 and could only find scattered single seats.  We had to convince a group of fat guys to scoot over so we could get two seats next to each other.  They (ROH workers, not the fat people) eventually had to add  several rows of chairs to the floor area to accommodate the crowd.  One of the quirks of Davis Arena is that there are two oversized, black leather recliners in the crowd.  A local pizza company used to sell pizza at OVW shows and would draw a name from the crowd to sit in the “Wick’s Pizza Party Zone”, where they would kick back in the recliners and get free food and drink during the show.  When ROH comes here, they charge (I believe) $150 per ticket for the recliner treatment.  Yes, someone actually paid for a recliner that is several rows back at a wrestling show.  Tickets were priced at $50 (first row), $40 (second/third row, depending on which side of the building you were on, and $15 (GA).  My $15 general admission seat was 8 feet away from the $50 seats, plus it was on 12 inch platform, so I could see right over the ringsiders.  

Cornette came out for the rah-rah speech, and it was time for our first match!  OVW Tag Team Champions The Elite (Adam Revolver & Ted McNaylor) beat Moose Thomas & Rocco Bellagio, accompanied by “Prince” Bolin (Kenny Bolin’s son Chris).  The Elite are one of the best-working teams on the indy scene, and they have been together since 2006.  I believe The Elite won after their Spear/Russian leg sweep combo in about 10 minutes.  Good opener.

Kevin Kelly and Nigel McGuinness were introduced to the crowd and were seated at ringside for commentary.  Kelly received polite applause, but the place went nuts for Nigel.  

 T.J. Perkins defeated Mike Mondo, but I have no recollection of how he did it.  Mondo is ok, but he really comes across as a lower-card act.  Perkins was technically good, but showed little personality.

Cornette interviewed The Briscoe Brothers.  They are supposed to be heels, but a Kentucky crowd is not going to boo an asskicking tag team that wears Confederate colors.  Briscoes demanded a match at Final Battle against ROH Tag Team Champions Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin.  Cornette booked Briscoes vs All-Night Express “next week” to determine the top contenders.

It was around this time that something odd started happening.  There was a girl standing near the barricade wearing a silk gown watching the show.  She took the gown off and approached the ring wearing a bikini.  No one acknowledged that this was happening.  One cameraman approached her and filmed her up and down for several minutes.  It wouldn’t be so odd if this happened once as a buffer to air between segments on the show.  This happened several times throughout the night.  At one point, she was being filmed for what seemed like ten solid minutes, including several minutes focused solely on her breasts.  It didn’t help matters that the camera guy looked just like the tow-truck driver from Adventures in Babysitting.  

It was time for the “television main event”.  Jay Lethal defended the TV title against Mike Bennett (with “Brutal” Bob Evans).  This was a good little match.  Bennett reminds me a lot of 2006-era Chris Masters, at least as far as his body appearance.  At one point, Lethal attempted the “Macho Man” elbow, but Bennett moved.  With 30 seconds left in the 15 minute time limit, Bennett mounted Lethal and started pounding on him, not unlike Ralphie beating Scut Farkus in A Christmas Story.  Lethal reversed the position with about 10 seconds left and stayed on top until the time limit expired.  Lethal and the crowd wanted five more minutes, but Bennett chose to retreat.

Roderick Strong defeated Kyle O’Reilly.  These two had a good, stiff match.  The story was that Strong is a stiff bastard, and the rookie O’Reilly was able to hang with him.  Apparently, O’Reilly trains with “Team Davey”.  Michael Elgin came out to attack O’Reilly after the match, and then someone else came out and got his ass kicked too.  Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards came out to clean house, going so far as to punt the Book of Truth into the front row, right into a fat guy’s face!  Cornette came out to help restore order.  I should point out that ROH had encouraged fans to bring signs to the television taping.  The only signs were two pro-Kevin Steen signs in the front row, and a guy behind them that had a sign which read “Let This Be A Sign”.  The three would all hold up their signs whenever they were on camera.  Cornette cut a promo on them, saying that he recognizes that Steen is a great wrestler, but the fans don’t have to deal with him as a person.  He called Steen mentally unstable and said he was an insurance liability, and reiterated that he had no plans of ever bringing Kevin Steen back to ROH.  

Tomasso Ciampa (with Prince Nana and Ernie Osiris) pinned Alex Silva.  Silva is a young, good-looking guy who works for OVW regularly.  Nothing special.

Mark and Jay Briscoe beat ANX to earn a title shot at Final Battle.  This was a great match with some fun double-teams.  I believe the finish was: one of the ANX held Mark in a powerbomb position near the corner.  Jay came off the top and nudged Mark, who turned the move into a hurricanrana and got the pin.  If that wasn’t the finish, it should have been, because it was the most memorable spot in the match.  The Briscoes didn’t do much to establish that they were supposed to be the bad guys.  

Next up was intermission.  They didn’t seem to be doing nearly as much merch business tonight.  The gimmick table was much smaller than usual, too.

Michael Hayes (no, not the Freebird) beat Mohammad Ali Vaez.  Both of these guys are OVW regulars.  Hayes is legitimately in his rookie year.  He also only has one leg.  He lost his left leg in an I.E.D. explosion in Iraq in 2006.  He was the only survivor  of the attack.  Unlike Zach Gowen, Hayes wrestles while wearing the full prosthetic.  He is quite mobile considering his predicament.  Vaez has apparently been attacking Hayes at OVW shows and ripping off the prosthesis.  He did it again tonight, only for Hayes to catch him in a submission hold.  Before he could tap, Vaez’s partner interfered for the DQ.  The match was ok, but a bit clumsy.  Considering Hayes’s inexperience, immobility, and the fact that Vaez had to work his right side, things went fairly well.

Michael Elgin dominated Shiloh Jones.  Good for what it was.

Jim Cornette came out to announce the top contender for the ROH World Title at Final Battle.  That man is…….Grizzly Redwood!  Just kidding, it’s Eddie Edwards.  Eddie came out and said that people always chanted “next world champ” at the American Wolves, and everyone assumed the chant was for Richards, but Edwards won the title before Davey did.  Eddie said that he learned a lot from Team Richards, but it was time for him to move on.  Eddie has a new trainer, but he wouldn’t reveal who it is.  The two shook hands and agreed to let the wolfiest man win.

Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin beat Cedric Alexander & Caprice Coleman in the week 2 main event.  This started out decent, but completely fell apart toward the end.  One of the guys not named Haas or Benjamin missed a series of aeriel moves that he was supposed to hit, including a standing shooting star press where he landed on his face Brock Lesnar-style.  This match is going to need to be cleaned up quite a bit before it airs.  

The Young Bucks beat the Bravado Brothers.  Full disclosure:  I hate the Young Bucks with a passion.  That being said, they were much more subdued than they were last time I watched them live.  At the beginning, they offered their hands to Lance and Harlem Bravado, only to turn and shake each other’s hands instead.  This was a fairly competitive match and both teams looked good.  The finish came when the Young Fucks did some double team flippy 9 move sequence nonsense that ended with a 450 splash.  They refused to shake the other team’s hands after the match.  I hope they catch herpes.  My personal hatred for Nick & Matt Jackson aside, they got very little reaction until the finish.  

MAIN EVENT TIME!  The American Wolves beat Roderick Strong & Michael Elgin.  Good, solid, hard-hitting match that seemed to go past 20:00.  My favorite comment of the night came from my friend, who is a casual fan and knows nothing about ROH.  As Richards was repeatedly kicking Elgin in the chest, my friend said “he’s just spamming the A button!”  He summarized the state of indy wrestling with that statement, in my opinion.  The finish was kind of screwy, although it could just be that I was tired and missed something.  Elgin had Richards in a hold (camel clutch), but the ref was distracted by Truth Martini.  Edwards locked Elgin in a dragon sleeper, choking him out.  Richards ended up on top of Elgin for the pin.  Davey kept looking at what appeared to me to be a wristband or something, then looking at Eddie like he didn’t know what to make of him.  Again, I had to have missed something here, because I have no idea what his deal was.

Overall this was a very entertaining night of wrestling, but far too long.  The show started at 7:00 and we were walking out at 11:05.  There were far too many superkicks and at least 4 “Codebreakers” throughout the show.  The crowd was hot for most of the show.   The venue was darkened quite a bit.  My guess is that they don’t want a building that small to be exposed on national television (Davis Arena sits 400).  Return date is 11/5.

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