Stunt Granny Audio #239

ScreenShot2013-11-27at10_24_06PM_crop_north

Well holy shiznit, it’s time for another edition of Stunt Granny Audio. Kevin and Dusty are back at the helm this week, and the primary order of business is Coaches Gone Wild. Kevin’s beloved Pittsburgh Steelers are all over the news this week for all the wrong reasons. Did Mike Tomlin step onto the field on purpose? Was he just dazzled by the majesty of the big screen monitor, or was he practicing the moonwalk? Why on earth is this story obscuring the fact that a football actually got tackled by his junk this past weekend?

They move on to talk about Bo Pelini needing anger management classes. Dusty feels like everything he said and did was justified, but Dusty also has anger management issues, so we cant take him seriously. Why does Kevin feel the pressure on football factory coaches is too much? And finally they talk about Jason Kidd bringing the circus to Brooklyn. Why did he tell a player of his to bump him? Why was he holding a plastic cup in the first place? And then finally they go into wrestling just enough to honk Dusty off, but if you wanted a wrestling audio then it’s too bad so sad for you but you should listen anyway because otherwise the clowns will eat you.

@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) Episode 9

be_stronger_than_your_excusesThey’re stronger, they’re more outrageous and if it’s possible, more glamorous. This time, it’s no hold barred! Life is about to seriously change. Only on E! This was the commercial that was constantly being played on Spotify last week so everyone would be so intrigued they would tune in and watch the next season of Total Diva’s. After crying hysterically and then being bored out of my gourd, I thought leave it to the WWE to make the first half of the show interesting to pull viewers in, put them to sleep in the middle and try to wake them up in the end with a not so good cliff hanger. Since I wasted 45 minutes watching this, I’ll waste at least 5 minutes of your time reading this. Ha ha.

We begin the season with a recap, which is always good for me as I completely forgot what has happened in the last 2 months that they have been off. I have to say, the show started off with pretty good one liners as Eva Marie brought up her 4 page spread in Maxim as the girls meet for brunch on a Sunday afternoon. Between Nattie calling Eva a Hoochie, Jojo saying she wants to throw up her breakfast in her mouth due to having to look at these pictures again and Brie gives a non-humble Eva a kicker when she tells Eva that the Bella Twins were in Maxim Espanol which get’s distributed to more countries. Ha ha. (Kevin’s Edit: You could tell the Bellas were pissed about not being on thee Maxim cover even if they covered things up with Latin America.)

We get more hilarious outtakes with Trinity in her sparkling shoes and how they hurt her feet terribly and walks out of the hotel like an old bow legged grandma, quite hilarious as she stuck out that booty of hers. (KE: She rewound it to watch a second time. I didn’t argue.)

Ariane goes crazy after the car in front of her continues to go really slow and in turn stops right in the road. Ariane gets out of the car and starts yelling at the person in the car. To me it all seemed a bit staged, but whatever, it just flared her temper which is what her story line was in this episode. Ariane once again goes berserk on Vincent, her boyfriend, at a WWE party. I don’t know how many times she needs to say ‘babe’ but I have to say, someone needs to take that out of her vocabulary! (KE: That’ll happen right when the Steelers take “Obviously” out of Mike Tomlin’s vocabulary.) Trinity ends up talking to Ariane and tells her she needs help with her anger. She goes to talk to talk to her mom where they have a heart to heart. Her mom tells her she shouldn’t do that and that Vincent deserves better. At this point, they’re both perfect for each other as they’re both annoying as ever and who would want to deal with that.

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Kevin’s Blog: The Pittsburgh Pirates Get To .500 (At Least)

Pirates Hats

’97, ’06 and ’11

My beloved Pittsburgh Pirates have not had a winning season since I got my driver’s license in 1992. I have suffered through the majority of the twenty consecutive seasons of a losing record. I will admit to being so ticked off at baseball for striking in 1994 that I stopped watching until 1999. During that time period though, I still sported a Pirates hat that I bought in the summer of 1997. It was an easy time period to keep the team out of my life since it was during my college years. I’d be home for the summer, mow lawns for twelve hours a day then go spend some of my money on some really cheap beer. Few of my friends liked sports and if they did, it was football. I had also convinced myself that it was a boring sport. Of all things that drug me back in, it was fantasy baseball. I hate losing, even if there isn’t money involved. But when my friend Jason invited me into that league in 1999, it changed the way I looked at the sport.

I have been a Pirates since I can remember. My mother was the big baseball supporter in the household while my dad was more of a Steelers guy. Both of them grew up in Pittsburgh. Three of my four grandparents were born in Pittsburgh. The fourth moved there from Penne, Italy when she was fourteen. All of them were invested in the sports products of the ‘Burgh so it was easy to become a fan. We went to Pirates games in the summer when we went to visit the grandparents. We never went to Steelers games as a family. I also went to a lot of games with a friend’s family because they were from Lancaster, PA and were huge Philadelphia Phillies fans. Our present for a good job in little league or for a job well done as an altar boy was of course a trip to a Pirates game.

But as already mentioned, my fandom was derailed by a bunch of idiots in 1994. When I got back into the swing of things in ’99 though, I went all in. I understand better why this sport wasn’t boring. I had acknowledged when I was a kid that pitching was important but I never thought about the cat and mouse game that pitchers and hitters play with each other. I remember arguing with fellow fans in grade school the day after I went to see the Atlanta Braves at the Pirates in the NLCS in 1991, Game 2. Zane Smith was out dueled by Steve Avery. Everyone thought I saw a boring game but I knew I saw two pitchers at their peak shutting down two great offenses. Now though, I understand more of the ideas behind scouting reports, good pitch location and mixing up pitch types. I didn’t realize how much space you needed to cover in the outfield, despite having been to Three Rivers Stadium more times than I can remember. The ability of the current Pirates outfield to cover that much space is incredible and requires more athleticism than I thought as a kid. The outfielders aren’t the only ones devouring tons of space to make plays. I thought it was easy to play infield since there was less space to cover. Even though it may be the case for first and third base, second base and shortstop have gobs of space to cover. Even though a third basemen might not have as much territory, they have the toughest throw to make in very little time to make an out and that’s just on a routine ground ball.

It was time to read the minor league scouting reports, check out the draft and international signings. I knew that the Buffalo Bisons were the Pirates AAA farm team when I was a kid but I couldn’t have told you anyone who was there. These days, I go to Indianapolis Indians to see the next set of prospects. I had a friend move to Indianapolis. Since I was strapped for cash at the time, I crashed at his place to go see the Indians play the Pawtucket Red Sox. I got to see Andrew McCutchen, now an MVP candidate, in his next to last minor league start. I was bummed earlier this year when I thought Gerrit Cole, their No. 1 pick in 2011, was going to pitch the day before they came to Columbus. An extra day of rest helped me out and I got to see Cole in his next to last start in the minors. I was bummed that the Pirates next big time prospect, pitcher Jameson Taillon, didn’t come here to Columbus after he got a bump up from the AA Altoona Curve. Which is another fun part of the process, my hometown now has the Pirates AA team. Much more exciting for me than some other small city in the state or another state. It was a blast last year going to a game with my family when we were all back in Altoona. As for the international signings, I had no idea where the Pirates looked for talent. Now I know that they have the third best facility in the Dominican Republic behind the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox. The Pirates signed Luis Heredia in 2010 as a sixteen year old. I would never had worried about that in high school.

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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I don’t have an idea for my introduction so piss off. Let’s roll.

John Cena comes out to a big ovation. You can still telling he’s favoring the right elbow. We got a three man booth of JBL, Mitchell Cool and Jim Ross. I think I can handle that. Cena shouldn’t be allowed out to babble. That guy has more focus problems than someone with ADHD. The crowd is moving over to more boos for CM Punk. The male demo is still trying. Most of us are choosing intelligently to leave. I’m obviously not intelligent. Ryback comes up after Cena wraps up. Wow, why is he wrestling Rosa Mendes with Epico & Primo? The WWE is rebuilding the tag team division now they’re going to crap on it. At least the WWE is consistent with something. Ryback wins by gently laying down E&P on their backs. Shell Shock is not a good name for that finisher.

Brodus Clay gets his full entrance but has been downgraded to wearing WWE paraphernalia. He’s wrestling R Truth. The segment Jeremy texted me better make up for this train wreck. Vince McMahon shows up to boot them from the ring. That is how desperate they are to fill time.

I blow thru Vince McMahon‘s entrance. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Vince introduces CM Punk perfectly by saying the action mattered which obviously got my reaction. I’m glad Vince told Punk that’s an ugly shirt. He finally whiffed on one shirt. The announcers have done a piss poor job of filling in the fact that Punk didn’t really win against Cena the last time. The fact that people are turning on Punk as much as they are is a testament to the quality of work he’s doing. The internet just wet himself again with the mention of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Vince sold that slap a bit more than he needed to. Ah, the firing is too good for you. I hate that logic. It should be a fun match between them. Not sold on Jeremy’s fanboy alert even though it was a really good segment.

JBL is quite the salesman. Arnold Schwarzenegger is everywhere these days. The Prime Time Players are in the ring when Rey Mysterio gets introduced. Sin Cara is going to get his own entrance. Shouldn’t you just intro both of them as teams? The half mask deal that Rey & Sin Cara are wearing look stupid. Young starts against Sin Cara. Nothing happens before the break. Rey looked at Titus as he came in and did nothing about it other than allowing Titus to break up the pin. Rey gets the pin after the 619 & Dropping The Dime. Good choice name wise but I like PTP better. Sin Cara is slowly getting better but still has a way to go. Paul Heyman tells Punk it’s a must lose situation. Punk, listen to your man. He didn’t say you can’t win. Heyman said if you win, your life will be a pain in the ass.

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