Stunt Granny Audio #195

Serious business goes on at Kevin’s workplace.

Kevin and Dusty didn’t start the fire! But they sure did talk about it on this audio! Join Kevin and Dusty on a fantastic voyage through the wacky world of professional wrestling, as they give you a healthy dosage of News You Can Use. They also talk about just how crazy Kharma is, how useless Velvet Sky is, how ridiculous TNA is, how big of a superstar Chavo Guerrero is, how cashing it in Jerry Lawler, and a veritable host of other things. Dusty makes gay jokes, Kevin regales us with tales of idiot co-workers, and a special surprise guest pops in to add to the festivities. All this and a whole lot more, and it’s only going to take you about an hour of your precious measley time, so get to it, losers.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #195

@ImpactWrestling Twitter Compilation & Aftermath

Tweet: We’re now following @REALBully5150 because of another fun exchange between Joseph Park & him. The sentence was long. Park > Abyss. Aftermath: You can follow us @Stuntgranny just in case you’re new to the site. Ray started off slow but his mic work was better with Park in the ring. I’m so happy to not see the Abyss gimmick. It’s such a hacky rip off that just about anything he’d do other than it would be better. Park happens to be a fun, unimposing baby face which doesn’t get used enough.Good segment.

Tweet: Why did the Aries & Hogan feel like they taped in separate studios? Aftermath: They talked past each other because neither of their egos could share the camera. Bad segment.

Tweet: I’m finally getting sucked into this dumb AJ Styles story line. Still not worth the garbage that came before. Aftermath: They interviewed Dixie Carter about the father of Claire’s kid. This material has turned me because it’s very Jerry Springer or Maury with the whole baby daddy material. It’d crack me up with Kaz, Daniels & Styles had to take paternity tests. Good segment.

Tweet: Crimson dropping like a rock. First Morgan, now Devon who in no way needs that win. AJ Lee >>>>>>>>>> Madison Rayne. Aftermath: Devon is a good steady hand. Crimson still needs help. Did I use enough greater than symbols? Bad segment.

Tweet: Sabin didn’t feel real to me. Roode played his part well. Aftermath: I can’t add more.

Tweet: Flip Cassanova is fighting @JohnnyGargano ‘s clone who is related the Demolition Man. Good to see #PRIMEWrestling represent. Aftermath: Flip is still a bit sloppy & caused Dakota Darsow’s likely broken nose. Flip does look like’s he’s improved even with the problems.

Tweet: Glad that Tenay & Taz explained Gail Kim’s clause like it was a hostage situation. They call the match fine right after. Tweet #2: Why did the champ just get the sucker finisher then pin? Tara doesn’t need to look that strong. Aftermath: It felt like Al Qaeda dropped in thirty seconds then left. Bad match for the ladies which was made worse by Tara hitting the Widow’s Peak then letting Tessmacher hit her finisher too. Gail shouldn’t be getting her comeuppance the week before a title match. Bad segment.

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Jeremy Borash Designs His Bedroom

Since I’m the art director here at Stunt Granny, I took special interest in the above picture that was tweeted by Jeremy Borash (@JeremyBorash). As usual, thanks to the nearly omnipotent Prowrestling.net. Borash tweeted:

A new set built at TNA HQ… for what? Tune into the IMPACT post show tomorrow for the details!

I feel privileged to type about twelve year old boys again this week because this set looks like a bedroom one might live in. You’ve got the sexy posters of the Knockouts because you need some spank bank material that the governor on your parents computer won’t let you get to. You’ve got Velvet Sky almost showing her top for a money shot and you can dream about giving Miss Tessmacher a Dirty Pirate. The boy also wants to put up posters of his male heroes like Sting, Hulk Hogan and of course Mr. Counter Culture Jeff Hardy. I’m pretty sure that the boy’s mom bought that desk and microphone at Ikea. At least Borash now has his dream bedroom inside of Universal Studios or somewhere in the heart of Nashville, TN but really does it matter? Congrats on getting past that 5′-0″ mark on the door frame in mom’s kitchen, tyke! -Kevin

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

Jeff Hardy's shirt reminds me of Impressionist paintings. This one is Sunrise by Monet, who is a favorite of mine.

James Storm is distraught over not winning the TNA Title. I’m not the biggest fan of this happening. They do make things work. I thought Bobby Roode would have been dropping the title too soon, which I don’t think I’d said in my previous reviews. I still think Storm should have won but they gave him a nice out by having him practically won. Roode comes out to gloat. I’m digging the new hair cut. It fits a suit better. Roode says he has no opponents left which brings out Mr. Anderson. Roode tells him to get to the back of the pack. Jeff Hardy hobbles out. He thinks he deserves a title shot. Him & Anderson argue. Hulk Hogan wants all the champs out in the ring later. Hardy will fight Anderson.

Crimson & Bully Ray team against Matt Morgan & Austin Aries. Morgan starts against Crimson. They continue to do the heavy work but Crimson was on offense most of the time. Aries gets the tag and brings the fun to the match. Bully Ray pulls the trunks to win. Garrett Bischoff is sauntering in the back.

Hardy thinks it’s his turn to get the title. Jeff thinks it was a good call by Hogan for the match. Garrett comes out. The crowd is excited for the guys around him but go silent when he starts talking. He thanks AJ Styles, RVD & Anderson along with Aries in the back. Ric Flair interrupts the blow jobs. Flair tells Garrett the truth when he rips his mic work. This story continues. Please kill me. They bleep the Bischoff for Eric. Woof. If you’re going to rip someone else’s mic work, bring something other than your worst. Christopher Daniels was holding evidence about AJ Styles. Double Ugh.

Magnus & Samoa Joe talk to Devon about the champs meeting. Short & pointless. Kurt Angle is taking on AJ Styles. My cable cut out of the match but went to commercial. I didn’t miss much. Styles is in control after the break. Daniels gives AJ whatever is in the mystery envelope. AJ screams “How’d you get this?” Angle rolls up AJ for the win. If it was AJ this whole time, why did you wait to reveal it? Stop continuing story lines that suck. Joseph Park tries to talk to Gunner. Park wants answers. Gunner tells him to ask Bully Ray because they wrestled together last.

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Stunt Granny Audio 150.3 – The Leftovers Edition

This picture came up in a Google Image Search for "yesterday's garbage."

Dusty, Eric and Dan join you with Stunt Granny Audio 150.3. Ain’t no stoppin’ us nooooow! The trio figured since Jeremy and Kevin spent the first two parts of #150 discussing WWE that they would give equal time to TNA, which, of course, turned into complaining about how terrible TNA is. It’s like shooting fish strapped to the end of your shotgun, folks. What is Sting doing with this Joker gimmick? Why is Gunner winning matches on television? What about these TNA Knockouts and their, like, one-week BLOOD FEUD? Dan and Eric also happen to be on the road toward the National Wrestling Hall of Fame Dan Gable Museum in Waterloo, Iowa, for the George Tragos/Lou Thesz Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame inductions, so grab a preview of that (before we post the review later today)!

Stunt Granny Audio 150.3

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of iMPACT Wrestling

Wrestling news has been slow for two weeks now.

For the last two weeks, there hasn’t been much news. God bless Eric who has squeezed blood out of two different stones this week alone. I mean, is Foley bragging about himself again really news? Eric skewers him well as he always does but seriously, that’s the big news of the last two weeks? OK, I almost feel like I’m doing a write up for an audio now. Since the news is slow and my moron buddy forgot to call me before coming over to watch the Bruins against Lightning, I’m headed to the hurt locker voluntarily and doing a review of iMPACT Wrestling, Will it be a new era? Not from what I read. Now I get to witness it.

I almost started without a Yuengling. Silly Kevin. My DVR was still set to record this show even with the name change. RVD has taken a serious tumble. Losing to Sting at this juncture is pathetic. I’m sure this is a new entrance montage but I don’t remember what the last one was like. Immortal saunters to the ring. The blue ring ropes makes me think Smackdown. The whole black, white and blue theme reminds me of Smackdown. You just needed to stay away from blue and red. Is it that hard? Go green. Go black. Go yellow for Hogan colors. Kendrick’s music is worse than Daniel Bryan’s. Kendrick isn’t odd enough to be delivering this message. Plus, the X Division being resurrected is like the US or IC Title meaning something again.Easy E’s arms look bigger than they used to. Mildly, Moderate Red is all you have Bischoff? TNA couldn’t have picked a more bland group to represent the X Division. Plus, it’s another large faction after Immortal & Fortune. Taz acting like Bischoff getting into the ring is a big deal is embarrassing. We end up with one big brawl. The Bucks and Red just about kill themselves to show that the X Division does suck.

Tenay acting like Sting was in his trademark gear was embarrassing too. You could tell by skin color it wasn’t Sting. Six woman tag match starts after the break. Anarquia is the hype man. Better choice than Hernandez. Miss Tessmacher making making up for a lack of wrestling by doing robot dancing. She still has the most fantastic heiney in wrestling. Madison Rayne over acting. Rosita takes the beating since Rayne is a coward.

Kazarian versus Abyss for the X Division title.  Taz bringing an astounding dumb line of logic to why there shouldn’t be an X Division. Taz continues to make no sense (Cole employs logic for Pete’s sake) during a mediocre match. Abyss fakes an injury to win a match that the announcers called him a favorite in. Taz said the internet is burning up because of the title change. Wow, he is terrible.

Samoa Joe squashes Amazing Red. Crimson makes the save. Crimson can’t figure out how to get his shirt off. Great example of how inept TNA is.

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