Download white paper: How to Approach a Professional Wrestler in Public

How to Approach a Professional Wrestler in Public

(L to R) Seth Rollins, Mr. Kennedy, a guy who successfully approached professional wrestlers in public! Great job!

Think watching The Rock give the Rock Bottom to CM Punk on WWE Monday Night Raw is exciting? (Think loading your post with keywords from last night’s pro wrestling main event is exciting?) Imagine getting to meet The Rock or CM Punk – or any other pro wrestler, for that matter – in person! With this simple guide, “How to Approach a Professional Wrestler in Public,” you can make friends with your superheroes! Collect autographs with no hassle, talk to them at length while they dine, even pop your head into their car window to find out their favorite radio station. Lots of great tips on how to talk and who to name-drop as well. Take it from Chris Jericho, who was unavailable for comment. And as a bonus just for reading this post, here’s a tip: Did you know Jim Ross loves Crown & Cokes and will gladly let you buy him multiple drinks if you yell “BOOMER SOONER” each time? It’s as simple as that! Read on, and let us know your success stories on meeting and talking to professional wrestlers by leaving a comment below.

[DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE WHITE PAPER BY CLICKING HERE]

Stunt Granny Audio Show #181

Oops, I think it's upside down...

Holy cow, it’s Dusty and Eric with another Stunt Granny Audio! The boys start off with a random assortment of brilliance, including thoughts on the Warlord, Haystacks Calhoun, Bob Geigel and more. Why are these multi-generational wrestlers on the docket? Also, what did the gents think of certain aspects of TNA Lockdown? How about this week’s WWE Monday Night Raw? Or the current storylines of two shining stars, Mark Henry and Chris Jericho? Also, the former Claudio Castagnoli, now Antonio Cesaro (with a side salad and breadsticks), made his Smackdown debut oops spoilers with William Regal at his side; what wonderful idea could this lead to (but won’t)? All this and more is a click away!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #181

Mr. Anderson wants to be done wrestling in five years, can we make it sooner?

Comes complete with torn triceps and dislocated shoulder!

According to Prowrestling.net, TNA’s Ken Anderson, aka Mr. Anderson, told the Dover Post that he’d like to be finished with his in-ring pro wrestling career in five years. The biological alarm clock he calls “a chain of push-derailing injuries while in WWE” suggests sooner, but hey, with Anderson talking about quitting, we’ll take what we can get.

“If I’m still doing this five years from now, please, just shoot me,” Anderson said.

It’s already on my calendar, friend.*

“I love the wrestling business, I love entertaining people, but it doesn’t define me.”

Oh, well, let us know when you plan to start entertaining people again. I mean, you can only ride a dead horse so far, and the only reason you’re overusing the word “asshole” is because that term is somehow more socially acceptable than “douchebag,” another word a) you’d happily drive into the ground like a beat-up Chevy Cavalier and b) the audience would find entertaining only because they’d get to say it loudly and proudly on national TV. Those hillbillies don’t love you, they just love to curse and spit. And yes, they probably kiss their mamas with those mouths. Real deep and tongue-like. Yep, that’s who you’re “entertaining” these days. Anyway, T minus four years and 364 days! -Eric

*=figuratively

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 5/14/11

1. Cheese – Some people just can’t get enough of it. Some of those people should try to get less of it. – Eric

2. MVP –  He’s been all over the wrestling media in the past week, promoting New Japan’s first big visit to the U.S. In the process, he’s been very well spoken about what he liked and grew to dislike about WWE’s evolving style to more kid-friendly, PG “entertainment.” Search it all out, it’s all totally worth the read. – Eric

3. Maryse –  Hotsy totsy, did you see that picture Jeremy and Kevin posted for Stunt Granny Audio #142? If that doesn’t make you harder than a left turn in front of the mall, you have no soul. – Eric

4. Chris Harris, Mick Foley & Chyna – These three were supposed to be surprises this week on iMPACT! Since I don’t read spoilers, I was surprised by Harris’ appearance especially since it was his bloated brother that got the gig. I was surprised by Mick Foley because I assumed it would be Dixie Carter. Finally, I knew it was Chyna but was surprised that she looked somewhat with it. What doesn’t surprise me is the fact that I am completely underwhelmed with this treasure trove of surprises. – Kevin

5. Jason Bane – I know my viewing habits are a little behind for Pro Wrestling Ohio so this item could have been posted a couple of weeks ago. After going long spans for PWO Title reigns, Agent Aaron Maguire’s latest client “The Megastar” Marion Fontaine dropped the strap to “The Most Dominant Man in PWO.” It is the second time within the past couple of months that the title changed. I’ll hope that it stays around his waist until Wrestlelution. Congratulations to Jason Bane though. – Kevin

6. TNA Sacrifice – Samoa Joe is feuding with Crimson but isn’t on the PPV. AJ Styles is feuding with Bully Ray but isn’t on the PPV. Mr. Kennedy is feuding with, well, everyone, but isn’t on the PPV. Chris Harris is sad looking and out of shape and he has no feud but he is on the PPV. A guy named Max Buck is on the PPV but not having anal sex with another man. Chyna is on the PPV although she has been out of wrestling and forgotten for a long while. Order estimation- 14,000 or so. – Jeremy

7. Smackdown – Christian and Randy Orton proved to be ratings flops. As the flag carriers for the Friday night broadcast this should be troubling but then it isn’t Monday Night Raw so who cares. – Jeremy

8. Bill DeMott – Since I’m trying to push our Twitter account, I’ll pimp the Tough Enough trainer @BillDeMott since @StuntGranny follows him. My favorite tweet for this week “I have decided how I will answer all those with #Negative comments………theres your answer.enjoy the day-BD”. – Kevin

9. Living in the past – 2011 – 1997 = 14:

Hulk Hogan vs. Sting is the current plan for the Bound for Glory main event, although not etched in stone. When asked, Hogan said right now he’s 50% about doing another match, according to an interview on the “Monday Night Mayhem” radio show. “If you would have asked me two months ago, I would have said no way. If I could get six and a half months (since the most recent fusion surgery) under my belt, I’d pretty much know the answer to that. If I did land wrong or something, just don’t know if all this hardware and stuff would hold together.” Watching Hogan walking on Impact this past week, the idea of doing a match, unless it’s a tag and he’s in for one spot and never does anything that requires movement or falling, looks like a very bad idea. The guy can barely walk. Considering how badly hurt he gets every time he wrestles, this seems really sad to even consider it. Maybe for a million dollar payday you can justify the risk, but him wrestling at this stage won’t move the needle at all unless he says it’s his retirement match (wouldn’t work in storyline since he’s the heel) and goes on all the talk shows to promote it, and even then, with wrestlers and retirements, that may end up meaning nothing for business at this stage.
14 goddamn years ago. – Dusty

10. Elijah Burke – Blew this popstand:

According to TheElijahExpress.com, D’Angelo Dinero, also known as Elijah Burke, has graduated with a degree of high honors in Criminal Justice. This could have been what he was alluding to on May 13th with various tweets, including one Thursday night that read: “My time has come, It’s time to move on. I’ve served well. Hope none has been disappointed; hope my hard work has been Applauded&Appreciated
It has from here. – Dusty

11. Brother Love’s floating head – I just, there are no words:

Dusty

Mr. Anderson comes to grips with being stuck in TNA

mr. kennedy

I don't know why, this just seemed appropriate

According to Prowrestling.net, Mr. Anderson was interviewed by Alex Marvez for ScrippsNews.com, and despite saying he’s “made peace” with being released by WWE not long ago, it appears he doesn’t like sleeping where he shits.

“Yeah, the last two years didn’t go the way I had planned.”

Oh, so being in that backwoods piece-of-shit company called TNA wasn’t how you envisioned spending your early 30s? You figured you’d wait until you were 45 and on the Jake Roberts Liquid and Powder Diet before you slummed with the trailer trash, popping pills and stalking your ex? That’s OK, I’m sure Matt Hardy didn’t plan for his last two years to be spent binging on Nilla Cakesters, watching his career plummet in a tailspin, gimmicking a split personality, buying a Flip cam, actually knowing how to *use* a Flip cam, and then WISHING to go to TNA. One of you is the garbage, and the other one is the wiggly stink lines coming off the garbage. I hope you two have a wonderful life together. (Wow, did I really just turn another post into a reason to make fun of Matt Hardy? I need a life.) -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio #53

Eric and Kevin return to discuss Raw and ECW at some length. Which up-and-coming wrestlers got the short end of the stick due to a camera hog and a returning legend who was treated like a joke? (And who were those two 40-somethings likely making fun of by one of them being a short-order cook? Think about it, people.) What did WWE do to make one of its Summerslam main events infinitely less interesting? How bad was the Abraham Washington Show this week? The guys also discuss Mr. Kennedy’s latest video, Ashley Massaro’s latest whining-fest, Ricky Ortiz’s release and much, much more. So listen!

Stunt Granny Audio #53

Stunt Granny Audio #52

Oh, that camera? Yeah, that cost me... hey, hey Bob, where are you going with it? Get back here!

Oh, that camera? Yeah, that cost me... hey, hey Bob, where are you going with it? Get back here!

Eric and Kevin are back to discuss the past few days in wrestling, on and off your TV screen. Jeremy Piven and Ken Jeong haven’t gotten much of a break from the people for their wacky portrayal of host and co-host of Raw; what did the SG guys think? Where should Miz go now that he can’t be on Raw? And how does his move affect each brand’s roster? After Raw went off the air, Ken Anderson (aka Mr. Kennedy) appeared on the Pro Wrestling Report on ESPN Milwaukee. What did he say to make him Eric’s new hero? (Here’s a hint: It has to do with that redneck Bob Holly.) To hear all this and more, click and listen!

Stunt Granny Audio #52

Mr. Kennedy is totally not injured

I'm so glad the Rock isn't around anymore to make fun of my goofy facial expressions!

I'm so glad the Rock isn't around anymore to make fun of my goofy facial expressions!

Mr. Kennedy recently posted a video of himself on Facebook (which is where I go for all my news), and in said video he is shaking both wrists around with much gusto, like a kid out in the rain. This is to apparently dispel the rumors circulating online that he injured his wrist in that Lakers vs. Nuggets match on Monday Night Raw.

Here is the video, so you can judge for yourselves.

Of course, it should be noted that this does nothing to dispel the rumors that he is a complete chump who runs his mouth about steroids every chance he gets, and has done nothing to improve his work since his actually good feud against the Undertaker in 2006.

On the bright side, however, I bet someone from TNA saw this video and started rubbing their hands together vigorously, like Russell Huxtable preparing to play pinochle against his over-matched son. – Dusty

WWE releases Mr. Kennedy, I release hearty laughter

PLEASE, give me another chance, PLEASE!

"PLEASE, give me another chance, PLEASE!"

We’re speechless: WWE announced today the release of Mr. Kennedy. Why was he released? Because as my headline a couple of days ago said, he sucks. I feel a blog bubbling up inside me… -Eric

Haha, you suck, Mr. Kennedy

Looked like this wrist from my vantage point.

Yeah, I ripped that headline style off from What Would Tyler Durden Do, but it’s true. I thought I saw it happen, but Jason Powell at Prowrestling.net confirmed it: Mr. Kennedy injured his wrist during his return match on Raw last night, a 10-man tag featuring many wrestlers much higher on the card (and deservedly so, at this point) than Mr. “One of These Things is Not Like the Other” Kennedy.

Mr. Kennedy suffered a wrist injury during the 10-man tag match on Monday’s Raw. He rolled out of the ring after taking an RKO from Randy Orton and then clutched his wrist in pain. He winced when Jerry Lawler touched his wrist at ringside.

And here I was secretly (openly, on the PWTorch.com VIP Forum) hoping the tennis-shoed Batista would injure himself last night. I mean, that’s what big oafs do in multiple-man tags on Raw. But I’m not least damn bit surprised this dolt Kennedy hurt himself. He truly is the Ahmed Johnson of the post-Attitude era. -Eric

Video update: Not good quality, but check it out while it lasts. Happens late in the 3:30 clip.


%d bloggers like this: