Headlines: John Morrison is boring, Chyna is gross, dude looks like a Lita

According to Prowrestling.net, John Morrison has posted a YouTube video (oh god, not another one…) explaining that he needs time to heal and re-train so that when he comes back, he’s better than ever. That’s not saying much, because he’s not very good. If you’ve ever wanted to see 50 seconds worth of wrestling talk that battles Jumpin’ Jeff Farmer for least interesting wrestling talk, this is it.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, former WWE superstar (not diva) Chyna is listed on the My Porn Provider Web site (please don’t click that) as a “porn star escort.” Even as righteous as I am, I’d still rather just see the words “porn star” as her title, because I can’t imagine anyone in their right god damn mind wanting to be escorted by that train wreck. You might as well drag a dead pig on a chain next to you, because the looks from your friends are going to be the same.

"BRAAAAY"-kin' the law!

Finally, that dude who played Lita in WWE was arrested over the weekend for speeding and driving with a suspended license. By the look of that mugshot, I’m surprised she (“Amy” Dumas) wasn’t charged with DWD (Driving While Donkey). Yikes. Thank god she was gone before WWE went HD. -Eric

Matt Hardy: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

So now you need to read this:

Recently-released TNA wrestler Matt Hardy was rushed to an emergency room in North Carolina on Wednesday after “falling down in his home,” reports TMZ.Hardy was not feeling well, according to sources cited by TMZ, but it’s unclear what caused his fall. The extent of his injuries are “unknown,” but Hardy is expected to be kept overnight and released on Thursday.

On Saturday, Hardy crashed his Convertible into a pipe and tree driving between 55 and 70 MPH, according to a N.C. patrol officer. Hardy was subsequently arrested and charged with Driving While Intoxicated. Hardy was not drinking, according to the officer, but appeared to have taken an “impairing substance.”

Hardy, who was suspended by TNA at the time of his crash, was released from the company shortly after news broke of his arrest.

Hardy’s mug shot following his arrest was released online this week showing Hardy in poor condition with what appeared to be cuts on his forehead.

Matt Hardy is going to die very soon. I will not care at all. – Dusty
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