Dusty’s Blog: Rejected Movie Trailer Idea

 

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This whole Aaron Hernandez thing is a buddy cop movie waiting to happen. Something like…

Everyone knew Aaron Hernandez was dangerous. But no one knew just *how* dangerous…

Hernandez, in the courtroom whispering to his lawyer: No one knows this, but I’ve rigged explosives under the judge’s chair.

Hernandez’s effeminate lawyer: Ooh, I always said you were a ticking time bomb, waiting to go off!

Hernandez: That judge is about two hours away from his final verdict!

*Hernandez and lawyer laugh deviously*

But what Hernandez doesn’t realize is that he has two grizzled New York City cops on his trail that are hellbent on blowing up his evil scheme…

*shots of the two cops saying and doing wacky stuff*

*shot of one of Hernandez”s gang buddies telling the cops about the explosives, and then the cops making a beeline for the courtroom*

Buddy Cop 1: Hernandez is about to learn something about his friends that he never knew before!

Buddy Cop 2: Yeah. That they can sing!

*shot of the courthouse exploding while the buddy cops drag the judge to safety*

Lethal Weapon 97, coming soon to a theatre near you…

(Dusty’s note: I pitched this movie trailer idea to Jeremy and Eric earlier today and it was met with crickets riding on tumbleweed. So alas, it will never see the light of day, not on the big screen and certainly not as a column idea for Stunt Granny. To tell you the truth, it was probably rejected because there’s not a single trace of a hot big breasted chick in this trailer. Oh well, back to the drawing board.)

Interview with Nancy Benoit’s sister

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I found this on The2count.com.  I find her to be very well spoken. – Dusty

He did seem to love Nancy very dearly. We know that, unfortunately, their relationship started to get rocky at some point. When did you first get wind that things were turning complicated between them?

I lived in Atlanta and my sister asked me home almost every one of my days off. I want to be clear: Chris was not an abusive husband. But there were, what we call in the industry, though don’t often talk about, “high spots”. She had been there, in that position before, and refused to put up with it at all, especially with Daniel in their home. So I went with her after one of these “incidents” to file an order of protection.

What do you mean by “high spots”?

Yelling, screaming, name calling, shoving, pushing, breaking stuff.

Did Nancy ever mention anything about fearing for her or Daniel’s safety?

Yes, when she first filed for divorce.

In 2003, Nancy filed for divorce citing cruel treatment and an irrevocably broken marriage. She also filed a restraining order against Chris. She later dropped the proceedings as well as the restraining order. Why did she do that?

Because, like with any marriage where there are issues, they made up and wanted to reconcile, especially for Daniel.

It was reported that Daniel suffered from Fragile X syndrome and that he was being given human growth hormones. Was Daniel’s health an issue in Nancy and Chris’ disagreements?

Daniel did not have Fragile X. I have his medical records. He was NOT sick.

Continue reading

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 9/3/11

1. Kevin Nash- The build for Kevin Nash and CM Punk has been pretty good. So they naturally schedule the match. Then he apparently fails a health test through WWE. Um, shouldn’t someone have had that done before they pushed him on TV? – Jeremy

2. John Cena- After weeks of solid promo work he is slowly reverting to the John Cena despised by so many. Maybe it is the people he is working with, but falling back on bad breath jokes is totally his fault. – Jeremy

3. Alberto del Rio – Rumor has it (rumor has it rumor has it) rumor has it that Alberto del Rio, the overpushed man recently crowned as WWE Champion, missed this week’s Monday Night Raw and Smackdown supershows due to visa problems. Um, shouldn’t someone have had that done before they pushed him on TV? – Eric
 
4. Shane Helms – The former Hurricane (and formerly relevant pro wrestler) either started or was the impetus for a recent Twitter hashtag, #BlameItOnTheShane, inspired by some idiot he knows who has been fucking up his life around every corner. But of course the people that guy surrounds himself with have nothing whatsoever to do with the man’s sonic-boom-creating tailspin. Nope, nothing at all. – Eric
 
5. Michael McGillicutty – Is it surprising that WWE focused on the intense staredown between David Otunga and, of all people, Jerry Lawler this past Monday night on Raw, yet McGillicutty, for a potential repackaging and name change, is the one who’s in the news? Oh, it’s not surprising? Well then, carry on. – Eric

6. Oops, We Did It Again – Randy Orton and Christian wrestled for something like the 90th time in the last three months and still had another good match. Usually, I burn out on a feud like this one but these guys have had so many different types of matches that each one feels different. It seems like the feud is over so let’s hope they don’t bury Christian now because the WWE needs strong heels. – Kevin

7. Fuck Matt Hardy – I’m hoping that my sitemates stand by me and stop posting the gibberish that this hillbilly creates. I’m tired of his antics. He wants attention and we’re giving him way too much of it. He hasn’t been reborn any of the times he’s said it before. I’m done with him until someone is dumb enough to give him a job in a wrestling company. -Kevin

8. Kevin Goes To Raw – This coming week’s “Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw” will be coming to you live since I will be in attendance. So join me on Twitter (@Stuntgranny) as I tweet my way through Raw from the live perspective. If you happen to be strolling down to Columbus on the holiday, find me in Section 102, Row T, Seat 18. With the long weekend, I might even try to make a sign pimping Stunt Granny. – Kevin

9. Johnny K-9 – Apparently former Smoky Mountain Wrestler superstar Johnny K-9 is a murderer.

Hamilton wrestler ‘Johnny K-9’ a member of B.C. gang

August 29, 2011 20:08:00
Peter Edwards
Staff Reporter

A former pro wrestler from Hamilton is a member of a gang now linked to the slaying of B.C. gang leader Jonathan Bacon earlier this month.

Ion Croitoru, 47, who wrestled professionally under the name “Johnny K-9,” is a member of the United Nations criminal gang, according to police in British Columbia.

Bacon, 30, was gunned down on Aug. 14, 2011, outside a Kelowna, B.C., resort. Four others with him were wounded, including a woman who was paralyzed.

No one has yet been charged in his death.

Croitoru was already in custody for a plot to kill Bacon and his two brothers between Jan. 1, 2008 and Feb. 17, 2009.

On Monday, Amir Eghtesad, 29, also a member of the United Nations gang, appeared in a Vancouver court charged with conspiracy to kill Bacon, his brothers and their gang associates.

Police say the Bacons form the core of a gang heavily involved in drugs and guns trafficking. He and his youngest brother, Jamie, had survived previous assassination attempts.

Croitoru is also awaiting trial for first-degree murder in the shooting death of Jonathan Barber, 24, and the attempted murder of Vicky King. On May 9, 2008, Barber was driving a car believed to be owned by a gang leader when he was killed in Burnaby, B.C. King, then 17, was shot in the car she was driving behind her boyfriend, police said.

And in June 2006, Croitoru walked free from a Hamilton courtroom after the Crown’s case in a marathon double murder collapsed.

Croitoru, former president of the Hamilton chapter of the Satan’s Choice Motorcycle Club, had been charged with the execution-style slaying of Ancaster criminal lawyer Lynn Gilbank and her husband Fred in their home in 1998.

The Gilbanks murders remain unsolved.

Hamilton hitman Ken Murdock told the Star last year that he was offered a contract from a Hamilton mob family to kill Croitoru but didn’t carry it out.

Murdock was convicted of the Niagara Region contract killings of mobsters Johnny (Pops) Papalia and Carmen Barillaro in 1997.

Croitoru was kicked out of the Satan’s Choice club for undisclosed reasons before they folded into the larger Hells Angels club in 2000.
http://www.thestar.com/mobile/NEWS/article/1046565

Is Ion a popular name anywhere? – Dusty

 10. Todd Grisham – This might be the very last time we ever mention him on Stunt Granny. We wish him a very fond, sincere, very heartfelt adieu. – Dusty

11. Santino Marella – Apparently he got into a car accident or something. I’m on 83 different message boards and none of them had a post about it as of yesterday afternoon. I didn’t find out until Eric text messaged me something about it last night. Whatever, I couldn’t possibly care less. Couldn’t happen to a nicer douchebag. – Dusty

Hulk Hogan Inserts Leathery Foot In Mouth

Oops, I was misunderstood.

Oops, I was misunderstood.

OK so this isn’t really wrestling related other than it has to do with Hulk Hogan but seriously, get this shit. Hulk Hogan was quoted as “I totally understand OJ.” You can find this quote and story all over the place but here is a link to E Online.

This is hilarious. Sure it may seem totally inappropriate but it’s a harmless fucking statement that everyone, me included, is going to latch on to and have a very strong negative reaction to. They guy put his foot in his mouth and there is nothing more to it. He’s clearly expressing his anger toward his marital situation and used the wrong reference. Hell, maybe he used a totally appropriate reference. The dude is going through a shit divorce and is clearly lashing out. Oh well. The only thing he did wrong was not laugh at the end of his line. Then he would have been let off the hook as just being a dumb jock or a joker at the worst. Instead he is going to have to pull that big yellow leather boot out of his mouth and will give the inevitable apology.

I say don’t apologize Hulkster. Fuck em if they don’t understand what you are going through. I am totally on your side in this one. Well, other than the murder stuff you were talking about cause that is fucked up. -Jeremy

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