Stunt Granny Audio #260

From breakdanceworld.com

From breakdanceworld.com

After a break from talking to each other, Jeremy & Kevin are back to talk wrestling. Except that they start talking about Jeremy’s receiver and X Box problems. Did Kevin see the commercial that has caused X Box owners problems? Is that how they transitioned to talking about the studio analysts of the World Cup? What makes them different from other commentators on TV? Why did they start adding so many talking heads to College Game Day? Who does Jeremy want to get the boot? Speaking of people getting the boot, there is speculation that Josh Matthews is out of a job with the WWE. Did he ever get a fair shake? How long did he announce Smackdown? Why did Michael Cool take his spot? Do your hosts think he is finally doing a good job? How vanilla has he gotten? Does he even do play by play any more? Why did a Josh Matthews conversation turn into Michael Cole conversation? Kevin moves on to clarify his article about ROH changing world champions from Adam Cole to Michael Elgin. But this clarification turns the conversation into a talk about TNA’s bizarre decision to remove the belt from Eric Young? Why would they do it right before his television appearances for “No Limits” on Animal Planet? What style of booking led to TNA winning at Slammiversary but then dropping the belt at the next Impact Wrestling? Do the guys talk themselves into saying that Eric Young is the best option as champion in TNA? Find out the answer to that question and more when you click on the link below.

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#ImpactLive – Total Nonsense Analysis

Day One– I think of this column as starting fresh each week. TNA has decided, against all logic, to make MVP heel already. So it makes sense that the top baby face in the company, Bully Ray, would come out and cut a promo against him. Ray also expressed his rage at the Dixie Carter clan along with MVP’s crew. After MVP’s crew came out and beat him down, Austin Aries and the Wolves came out for the save. I understand that things may move more quickly in the booking department today than it did yesteryear but it makes no sense for MVP to accept the match of himself, Bobby Lashley and Kenny King. I’m glad that MVP got the pin on Davey Richards because the heel faction needed a win. The only problem I had is that the announcers decided not to talk up Richards’ injuries from the previous week.

Bram debuted against Tigre Uno. A squash match is nice and good but Bram has given Magnus tough opponents. Beating up someone half his size doesn’t exactly prove his point. Thankfully, Magnus points out these exact points and suggests a match against Willow.

Madison Rayne not helping Brittany is mind boggling. You’re the baby face. Brittany isn’t quite Mickie James with Trish Stratus psycho so there’s no reason Rayne shouldn’t help her especially against her hated rivals! They just kicked your ass too. You’re just going to sit back and watch someone else get to fed to them? You’re a selfish bitch who should be the heel.

The Menagerie taking on the Bromans is perfect curtain jerker fodder. It’s just too bad that they forced the Gunner and Ken Anderson story line because it was irrelevant to the match and broader segment. At least it also makes sense that Anderson would have a problem with Gunner. Why not help earlier?

Brittany got help from Gail Kim but she was also cold to her. Why are you doing this to your baby face women? Or maybe I should phrase the question, why isn’t Brittany acting like more of a psycho? Both could solve the problem.

– I’m not quite sure what the conflict is between Dixie Carter and MVP. They didn’t resolve it this week either. Bully Ray & Eric Young broke up the party before it could go anywhere. Carter could at least offer ECIII’s services as a good faith gesture. I’d be fine with the heels teaming up. Again, I’m thinking wipe the slate on the stupidity of the turn. It ends with a match between EY & Bully Ray with ECIII as the guest referee. Bully Ray overshadowed the champ, which isn’t a good thing.

– Here’s the other weird thing about Brittany, if she respected the other Knockouts as much as she claims, she’d tag them. Her character has a real disconnect. She’s also taken a bad tag into her matches and taken the loss. It means there’s a story but why would she do that, again? Brittany respects these women. She would realize they dislike the Beautiful People as much as she does. Holy crap, this segment is still going on. Madison Rayne gets called out. They make Brittany look crazy for a minute but then they have the Beautiful People point out how bitchy Madison is being. It makes them look good and the crowd even cheered them. What are you people doing? You’re making every Knockout look terrible.

– I would say that TNA is copying the WWE with MVP, Bobby Lashley & Kenny King filling various ring side functions but it is  common occurrence in the “evil regime” era. The match between Bully Ray and Eric Young was pretty nondescript because of interference from the MVP side of the world. After things break down, Samoa Joe makes the save. Wasn’t Austin Aries the one with the problem? Better yet, why was Bully Ray in this match? Let him finish his feud with Dixie Carter. Put Aries in this match instead of Ray then we have three men (EY, Aries & Joe) against MVP’s crew. Bad ending to what was mostly a decent show. – Kevin

#ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

Self Loathing by Evelyn Astegno from fineartamerica.com

Self Loathing by Evelyn Astegno from fineartamerica.com

– I can’t believe how mind numbingly bad the opening two segments are for Impact Wrestling. MVP was walking backstage with Bobby Lashley and Kenny King. They ran into Kazarian, who was talking to Chris. It is Wrestling 101 to take out a leaving wrestler. Normally it helps to get someone over. The problem in this instance is that Kazarian was last a heel so another heel beating him up doesn’t get them over. To make matters worse, they barely beat him up. If you’re going to send someone on their way, make it count. Kick his ass from pillar to post.

MVP when finally in the ring tried to explain away plot holes that are large enough for rabbits are living in some of them. It was made quite obvious that they were back tracking to make this angle sound. Nothing made that statement more than Kenny King grabbing the mic and saying that his problems with MVP & Lashley were all faked. Going back to the Wrestling 101 handbook, I see that you need to have a reason to believe that the opposite may be true to say you hood winked someone. MVP, King & Lashley never afforded us that opportunity. I may not like Stephanie McMahon’s execution sometimes, but at least she’s saying one thing “Kane! No! Stop!” and clearly unleashing him at the same time. If you’re going to take your champion queue’s from the WWE, please pay attention to this detail in story telling.

– At least the Wolves, Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards, showed up. They were pissed about not being in on the plan. That makes complete sense. The problem though is that it also points out an obvious flaw in the plan. If MVP wanted to reign over TNA with Kenny King & Bobby Lashley, why didn’t he just hire them instead of the Wolves? Lashley came back as a baby face so he’d be great to fight against the “evil” Dixie Carter. Kenny King got reset with vignettes of him spending money all over Las Vegas acting like a baller that was supposed to get under people’s skin. Easy solution, right? Make the vignette’s portray King as a baby face, which I believe he was before whatever caused his absence and recasting. Then you have three baby faces booting the “evil” Dixie only to they themselves turn out to be corrupt. Instead the Wolves have to come out to back track to try and make this angle appear to work.

– I was thinking it during the beat down of Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards that either Eric Young or Austin Aries should have come out to save them. We would have a team of three baby faces against three heels. Instead, Eric Young is shown steaming mad coming to the ring after the damage is done. He comes out to grouse the very next segment. Why did your top baby face just leave two guys hanging who have a beef with the very same person he does? Austin Aries has also made clear since returning that he called out MVP early on and using this turn as proof that he was correct. Aries comes out to save EY which was nice but also late. His buddies from ROH were left hanging in the earlier segment too. Were you late to work? You’re a both bums Young & Aries.

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WWE To Sign Two Fresh Faces To Developmental Deals?

From Logopond.com by cspainey

From Logopond.com by cspainey

On Monday according to Prowrestling.net, the WWE was expected to sign Kevin Steen and Willie Mack to developmental contracts. It’s Thursday and nothing has been made official yet. So that gives me the time to remind everyone that the last time two ROH stars were jumping to the WWE because of a nondescript video from England, they went to TNA so that Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards could wear bad cow skin & wolf hair coats. That leaves TNA time to swoop in and sign Steen & Mack.

If that does happen, the story line will be Dixie Carter signed Steen under MVP’s nose so that she can rid herself of her Bully Ray problem. Steen will then get to fight Abyss for the TV Title completely ignoring Dixie Carter’s plan to become a baby face by supporting Eric Young for a reason that will never be mentioned on TV. Since TNA or the talents they hire can’t come up with new gimmicks Fight Steen Fight will be shortened to Fight Steen.

MVP will then hire Willie Mack because we all know that “those people” stick together. Along with Bobby Lashley and Kenny King, they’ll become the Republic of Reign. Or the Country of Supremacy. Or the Dominion of Domination. Or Association of Power. They will reign supreme over TNA until Rockstar Spud turns on Dixie Carter and becomes part of the group. He will break Jesse Sorensen’s neck again (who was re-hired by Dixie Carter too) and eventually leave the group. Willie Mack will end up turning on MVP after the crowd starts to support his new catch phrase “If Inhale The Odors from Mack’s Kitchen!” – Kevin

#ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

From widowsvoice.blogspot.com

From widowsvoice.blogspot.com

Things are back to normal in the DiFrango household after I got stranded in Chicago because of a smoking restroom fan in the control tower and weather related problems. My welcome back is getting to take Impact Wrestling off my DVR after I finally watch Raw. I’m glad I watched an hour this morning so it’s only a PPVs worth of wrestling for me tonight. Time to have fun at TNA’s expense.

MVP turning already is tragic. You can really tell TNA had no idea why they installed Eric Young as champion. I have no idea how this was part of MVP’s “plan.” He admitted he didn’t think EY would win the title but it sped up his plan. So the only conclusion I can make is that MVP planned on a weak champion at some point during his reign so that he could win the title. How is that a good plan? It’s the world championship. That doesn’t happen much. I know it’s TNA and all of the possible champions could be called weak but TNA can’t address it that way on TV.

– I hope this Bram character can make Magnus a more aggressive attitude. His weakness was as champ was being too much of a waffle. I hope the idea is to make Magnus consistently wanted to hurt people is installed. It sure seems that’s where it’s headed. Willow/Jeff Hardy is a good target especially if TNA plans on keeping Magnus in the main event scene. A win over him in a singles match at even a TV PPV would serve a good purpose. A distraction win for Hardy on this night is in fitting with the angle too. The only problem was it was in no way should Magnus have been pinned with a small package, barely damaged.

Eric Young trashing MVP’s office isn’t cool like TNA intended. It’s EY acting like a child. You didn’t get a beat down like HHH gave to Daniel Bryan. It was a cheap attack but he didn’t handcuff you and beat the snot out of you. EY has no reason to be this pissed off. MVP is no different than any other opponent he could have named for you. Did EY think he’d fight some cream puff?

– Do I really need to go into why the Bully Ray vs Dixie Carter stuff is terrible? Same thing, week after week. Just because you “shoot on location” doesn’t mean it’s different.

Gail Kim and The Beautiful People is bombing because Kim isn’t over as a heel and the Beautiful People aren’t hated as heels. Taz & Mike Tenay pointing out how over Kim was only made it more obvious amongst the tepid response. Just like other acts in TNA, the Beautiful People are only together again because they were once great but now are stale. They haven’t freshened up the act at all. It doesn’t really matter that Kim beat Velvet Sky. Everyone knows Velvet is the “road block” to the champ Angelina Love. Perfect example of not freshening up the act. Sky stuck around, shouldn’t she be the champ supported by Angelina.

Rebel has a fantastic heiney. Other than that, I wasn’t impressed last week by The Menagerie. TNA in no way let on that Knux was part of a carnival family. How did a flood kill the business then? You’re mobile! Get the fuck away from where ever it was going to flood. Fuck you if you decided to still it out. Crazy Steve is taking on the nearly departed Kazarian. It ended up in a DQ win for Kazarian. It made no sense. Knux looks like he decided to pack on some weight too.

– Immediately after this lengthy waste of time, Austin Aries confronts MVP about not being honest. Hey, a positive! TNA remembers that Aries called MVP a phony not that long ago when he joined Bobby Roode. Aries clocks one of the body guards which gets him booted by the others. Eric Young then attacks MVP and they cut to commercial. They follow up their lone positive with a terrible mistake. They are still fighting after the break. MVP and Young even fight into the ring. Thanks for giving away your match. Young also made his comeback after MVP stomped his arm in a chair. Taz had the misfortune of trying to still sell the arm injury. MVP then declares their match tonight. Nothing like solving a problem (MVP turning already) by creating a larger one, burning through Young’s few options as credible opponents as quickly as possible. First Abyss, then Bobby Roode and now MVP. Congrats on lording the title of worst organization over ROH.

– Do you remember a time when James Storm against Ken Anderson would have been anticipated? I don’t either. I wasn’t planning on typing anything other than the winner of the match but Storm did something so dumb, it had to be noted. After distracting the ref and giving Anderson the old trick knee, he puts his feet on the ropes for the pin with the referee having a clear view. Having Storm win with beer to the eyes is a way to extend a meaningless feud.

– I like that TNA is using video packages for Sanada‘s promo time. WWE could learn something about wrestlers who don’t speak English. Unfortunately, they are using his approval from the Great Muta entirely too much. Let him focus on being great now that you’ve developed his ties to Muta over his first several months in TNA. Tigre Uno being in the match makes no sense since he already lost in a best of three series with Sanada. I love DJ Z in this spot because he’s a good wrestler but it’s odd for the lackey of a group to be going after the singles title. Sanada pins DJ Z with a double underhook bridging suplex. Have DJ Z pin Sanada in a non-title match so that they can have another title fight.

EC3 moving on to Bully Ray after finishing off Kurt Angle makes sense. It’s the only part of the segments that made any sense. Even if EC3 doesn’t deserve it.

– I have no idea why Kenny King is joining forces with MVP. They just hated each other! Even the announcers were forced to mention the recent feud. Then Bobby Lashley joined the crew. It’s not just the WWE that teams together all of the black gentlemen. What a horrific group with no commonalities. They didn’t even foreshadow this group coming together. How do you book something this poorly? So it’s EY & Austin Aries vs MVP, Kenny King & Bobby Lashley? My head hurts. Impact Wrestling is the worst. – Kevin

#ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

From Deviantart.com done by Supersaz.

From Deviantart.com done by Supersaz.

MVP having the three contenders (Bobby Roode, Gunner & Mr. Anderson) is good and bad. I’m glad someone like Magnus, who later complained about it, wasn’t put in just as a mandatory fourth person. Challengers shouldn’t need to be in even numbers. If they had included someone else though, they could have held this match off until next week to put some hype into it. A champion, even Eric Young, shouldn’t be defending the title as often as the old TV Title used to be defended.

Mr. Anderson pretending like he had the crowd in the palm of his hand was sad. He thinks he can still do the Rock routine but he can’t. They haven’t been behind him much in the recent past so I don’t know why he thinks it’s working. You’ve had the exact same gimmick for nine years, if you start the clock at his Smackdown debut. Please, change it up some.

– I have no idea what they are trying to do with Knux and Rebel. They have made Rebel a complete dip shit including her continued “concern” over “Crazy” Steve. She’s also an idiot for pretending like TNA is at minimum the WWE, if not more like being on a movie set kind of awe about her. They are going to be called The Menagerie.

– Thank goodness Bobby Roode won over Gunner. Roode is much better and one of the few worth while talents in this company. Pretty sure he was dumb enough to sign an extension, so good luck being stuck in a terrible situation.

– It just dawned on me that Dixie Carter is now ripping off, of all people, Paul Heyman. He beat CM Punk and got to brag about beating the “Best In The World.” Dixie, you putting Bully Ray through a table isn’t on the same level. If Dixie really wants to copy the WWE correctly, she needs to have a hired gun like Brock Lesnar. If she brings back Rampage Jackson or King Mo, I’ll cry during my laughter.

– Taz & Mike Tenay are trying to make Willow “more sadistic” and “different offense than from Jeff Hardy” but just as they are saying that, he does his hip bump but on the outside so they had to sell it so much more lethal. It was comical. I’ve been meaning to mention that it has driven me batty that he hasn’t changed up his offense at all. Hardy also only came up with a coat and mask but not new sleeves, pants or shirts. He has the creativity but I think it’s lazy not addressing those areas.

Sanada and The Wolves destroyed The BroMans as they should have but the problem with that is the tag team division is non-existant of these two teams.

Just for Dusty. From some wrestling forum who probably saved it from Impactwrestling.com

Just for Dusty. From some wrestling forum who probably saved it from Impactwrestling.com

– Somehow, the Knockouts are in a worse state than the WWE Divas. Except in looks as Dusty & I discussed last week.

– I asked while talking to Jeremy about Eric Young having longer matches. The main event bell struck at the 1:45 mark of Impact Wrestling. Fifteen minutes isn’t enough time especially if you’re putting him in there with one of your best hands in Bobby Roode. At least Taz pointed out the bad decision to defend the title this often. Eric Young getting the win over Roode burns through an opponent that should have been on a PPV. I know they’re trying to play catch up with EY’s legitimacy but I’m still not buying. I smell desperation. After the big win, why are you putting someone else on the TV? Why? – Kevin

 

#ImpactWrestling – Total Nonsense Analysis

Marilyn MonroeI needed to get Impact Wrestling off of the DVR before we leave for New Orleans for Wrestlemania so, what the hell, I’ll review this stupid show again. If Chelsea Peretti comes to your town, it’s a good idea to go see her. Very funny.

– We start off with Bully Ray & Willow competing in a tables match against EC3 & Bobby Roode. I start paying attention when Willow puts EC3 on a table and attempts a Swanton. Rockstar Spud comes down and distracts him. Willow takes Spud to the back. “He’s so unpredictable!” screams Mike Tenay. That’s one of his character’s flaws. I understand him drop kicking a heel in a wheel chair. I mean, how can that not be funny? But there’s no reason to drag Spud to the rear while you’re in a match. Why would Spud be the main target of Willow’s pay back? It makes no sense. Roode & EC3 take advantage of Willow’s absense and put Bully Ray through a table for the win. It achieved a desired result in that Roode can brag over the win. Roode ends up putting Ray through two more tables. Nice beat down.

MVP is doing solid work but it’s not enough to save this burning wreck. Ken Anderson has to drag out his feud Samuel Shaw for a rubber match. I like the idea behind Shaw but I’m not sure there’s much of anywhere to go with him after this angle. Every time I see Anderson, I hate myself a little bit more for liking him at some point. It seems like such a long time ago when I thought that. I forget enough stuff, why not that factoid? Samuel Shaw gets the big win which is nice of Anderson to give him the rub because TNA certainly thinks he has something to rub.

Eric Young  just wanted to handle Abyss but stumbled into the title match. He says he deserves it because he’s earned his stripes. Taz backs him up by casually saying “EY has a legitimate gripe!” Thanks for backing him up with one line. EY needs more selling than that because he has never been anywhere near the Title hunt. But Taz knows that so he goes with a single line. Kenny King interrupting Tigre Uno and Sonata was a nice move by a heel. MVP doesn’t have a good reason to keep King down. Why not book him in a match immediately and save yourself from wrestling? Now that you’ve won control of the company, back off having matches so often.

Tigre Uno and Sonata had a fun little match but if it’s a best of three, I expect a longer match that seems more evenly matched. Instead, it was mostly a Sonata show case who won with a double underhook suplex.

– I understand having the segment between Magnus and Abyss, even if I thought it was drug out. The problem I had was when Eric Young attacked. He’s stupid for doing so when both of them around knowing you’d get a beat down. Samoa Joe’s look after saving EY told you how much of a joke everyone feels he is which is just another reason to have Taz sell him more.

– Why do I like train wrecks so much? These #KnuxReturns segments are ridiculous. The acting is terrible. The “lighting” or lack there of is supposed to provide a grittiness but just looks low rent. Knux family talking about him chasing his dream wrestling seems like they’re trying to paint him as this country boy gone city boy but I don’t think of wrestling as a big city job. Plus, they’re so generic no matter what they’re talking about. We know a flood was bad, a business may be lost and that stuff needs to be repaired. We don’t know where this flood took place, what this business is or what needs to be repaired. Don’t you think that’d be good information to fill in?

– While I was typing the previous paragraph, the Beautiful People won their return match with little fan fair. Madison Rayne had a partner named Brittany who I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen before. The Beautiful People only won because Brittany made a poor tag which doesn’t make them look strong and makes Madison look stupid. 2 birds, 1 stone.

– If MVP has a feud with Kenny King, I’ll scream. After a brief interlude with Magnus & EC3, TNA confirms this feud will continue. Wrestle or be the figure head. Not both. Ugh.

– The World Heavyweight Title is on the line between Magnus, Abyss, Samoa Joe and Eric Young. Keep in mind that they interacted about 40 minutes previous to this match. We then get a commercial and nine minutes left when they get back. You do realize that the WWE is running matches longer than this, right? With more skilled people, not even in their main event? I’m saying that liking Magnus and at least Joe in the ring. Eric Young ends up getting pinned like a joke too. Magnus told Abyss he loved him again which got Abyss to abort pinning EY who then had to sit there for a long time before Magnus dropped the big elbow.

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