News You Can Use – Christmas Bounty, Dixieland, Jim Ross and Total Divas

news_listing_headerMy woman is just so excited about Mike “The Miz” Mizanin movie “Christmas Bounty” airing tonight on ABC Family. She watches some of the most horrific movies that I’ve ever laid eyes on. To put this into perspective, I’ve sat through the entire run of Mystery Science Theater 3000, CSI: Miami and Hawaii Five-O (The new version) and have gotten all kinds of laughs. Do I know all of these shows are terrible? Yes I do. Are they horrific? No. So stay tuned for a short synopsis from the Queen of Cheese-tastic Christmas movies.

Jim Ross had this to say about Big E Langston and Roman Reigns because of some of his Twitter followers

Some fans need to exert a little more patience while young talents such as Reigns and Big E evolve to the next level.

Ross had mentioned this after not liking Big E’s promo. I’m not sure who these fans are because I haven’t seen too many complaints about either man online. I feel like this is code for Jim Ross wanting to bash the WWE writers. How exactly is Big E going to get over on the mic if he doesn’t have mic time? The same can be said about Roman Reigns. His in ring work got featured on Raw but the Shield wasn’t in a solitary backstage segment. How about the WWE show some patience and not team Big E with Mark Henry then have the announcers speculate about a new tag team? You just gave him the Intercontinental Title last week on Raw. Show some patience and give him more fodder to defend the belt. Jim Ross is good at selectively picking who he responds to in his blog.

According to Zap2It.com (by way of Prowrestling.net) Total Divas has been renewed for another season. When I informed my lady that it was renewed last night I got a groan and maybe a grunt. I barely talked her into the column for the second half of this season. I may need to pay her to do it next season. We’re making a profit, right?

I finally got around to reading the “Dixieland” article on SI.com which she referenced on last week’s Impact Wrestling. I had to laugh at a couple of points which the writer made. The first point was about getting on Spike TV:

Getting onto a visible cable platform allowed Dixie and TNA to lure away some of their competitor’s bigger stars. Jeff Hardy, a wildly popular WWE wrestler in the late 90s and early 2000s with his brother Matt, under the moniker “The Hardy Boyz,” joined TNA in 2004. Two-time Olympic wrestling gold medalist Kurt Angle joined the company in 2006. Steve Borden, a.k.a. Sting, signed with TNA in 2003 and is widely considered the most popular pro wrestler ever to never work for the WWE.

That is full of entertainment. TNA allegedly lured away Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle by supplying them with drugs before finally cutting them off. I can’t argue with the point about Sting so one out of three correct isn’t too bad. The bar is set pretty low for the media these days. Dixie had her own whopper:

One of the continuous hurdles she’s had to overcome is the perception that one has to grow up in the wrestling business to be good at it. It’s believed that Dixie is the first and only female pro wrestling owner to not have any familial ties to wrestlers…That’s all any business is,” said Dixie. “You don’t have to know wrestling. You’ll know wrestling eventually, but business is about making good decisions, putting good people around you and managing them.
I agree with her in that you don’t need to grow up in wrestling to be good at it. None of us grew up in wrestling but we can totally book better than anyone who has ever written wrestling. The entertaining part is about making good decisions, good people and managing them. Dixie hasn’t made good decisions (Putting herself on TV), hasn’t brought in good people (Eric Bischoff & Hulk Hogan) and she hasn’t managed anyone as far as I can tell (Except for her dad to keep putting money into the product). The last point is peppered through out the second half of the article but AJ Styles sums it up quite well:
I think we have to think outside the wrestling box.,” said Styles. “That’s the most important thing we need to do. Wrestling’s been done a certain way for so long and I think if we can go outside that thinking and change the way we do things, storylines and what not, that will separate us from the WWE. We can’t be like them — we have to be the alternative. We need to be something different.
TNA and Dixie Carter have been saying for a decade that they need to be different than the WWE yet they’ve provided us with a watered down version of the Attitude Era with many of those stars for that same time period. I can’t wait for another decade of ineptitude since they aren’t selling the company. At least they’ll let me do the same blog that every other wrestling fan does. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio: Retro Movie Theater – D.C. Cab

dccab

Kevin is joined with his long time friend Ken for the unveiling of Retro Movie Theater where in they go back to movies of yesteryear and review it as if it was a new flick. Sometimes, we will have seen it as a child and other times we will have not. While we may make fun of these movies, we’re not looking for Mystery Science Theater 3000 level bad movies. They kick off by talking about D.C. Cab which Ken feels like he watched as a family or did he? Was there any chance in hell that the DiFrango household would have watched this one? They move on to trying to figure out who exactly is the lead character in this movie. It certainly wasn’t Mr. T even though he is featured in all of the movie advertisements. Who all did make an appearance in this movie? Does the name Irene Cara ring a bell to you? Ken & Kevin move on to describing the plot of this movie about a rag tag group of cabbies in Washington D.C. Did anyone ever dream of becoming a cabbie in the big city? Do the cabbies want to make money or play pranks? Would the owner tolerate non-sense instead of firing the cabbies? How many ethnicities can the writers stereotype in one movie? They move on to talking about how many plots were in this movie. How many sub-plots can you fit into 100 minutes? Are any of them fleshed out properly?  Even if they weren’t, Ken & Kevin have this new show fleshed out so click on the link below!

Hey, guess who’s going to be in Manos 2!

It wasn't his fault he got the part!

From Figure Four:

Gene Snitsky has a starring role in an upcoming film Manos: The Search for Valley Lodge, which is a sequel of “a perplexing film which Entertainment Weekly deemed ‘the worst movie ever made.'” Snitsky said it films in early 2011 and will be released in 2013. The original, filmed in 1966, “toiled in obscurity for decades” until it became a cult classic after being buried on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Harold P. Warren wrote, produced, directed and starred in the original after making a bet with a friend that he could make a great horror film on a limited budget.

I love Mystery Science Theatre, I love Manos, and I love Gene Snitsky. This is not the Match Made in Hell. This is the Match Made in Heaven!!! – Dusty

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