Dusty’s Blog: In defense of Dwight Howard

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So I listened to the most recent Stunt Granny Sports Audio, as you all should. If you haven’t yet, scroll down a few posts and do it now. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Okay, good. Now, I have liked Eric2 since day one, and not just because he sounds exactly like Mike Ryan. I have always seen him to be smart and his arguments steeped in reasoning and logic.

But his rant on Dwight Howard in this most recent audio sent me through the roof and I feel like it demands a rebuttal. Eric2 must have recorded this audio from Mars or something, because he was out of this world with his opinions here. So off on my soapbox I go.

So often, people fall into the trap of labeling a player a “loser” just because they haven’t won a championship. It takes no foresight to say a player is a loser. He is a loser all the way up until he wins a championship, and then all of a sudden he’s a winner. Well, of course, common sense would indicate that there is a lot more nuance to it than that.

LeBron James is the perfect example. People were banging the drum for years that he was a loser, that he would never be able to carry a team to a championship, he was soft, he had no low post game, etc etc. One by one he checked off all the boxes and has proven what I, and many other people who don’t have their heads buried in the sand, have known for a long time: he’s the best player to ever play the game. Even better than that Jordan guy, absolutely.

The only reason why Derrick Rose won that MVP award a couple seasons back is because he was the second best guy in the league. The voters didn’t want to acknowledge LeBron existed, so Rose was left holding the bag, no matter how flimsy a case he may have had. No matter how dominant LeBron was over him in their match-ups. LeBron was a loser, he had no post up game, he couldn’t win a championship on his own, and they just plain didn’t like him.

Of course, since then, he has carried the Heat to two straight championships, with Bosh and Wade taking a back seat to his leadership, he’s developed a low post game to make himself even more dominant as an inside-outside threat, and the critics have all shut their big fat yaps, because there’s really nothing negative to bring up about the guy right now other than his receding hairline.

And so the No Vision Brigade turns its brain dead attention to Dwight Howard. Reality is that he might be the second best player in the league right now, behind only LeBron. That absolutely does not matter to the No Cluers, he’s a loser to them, and will continue to be one all the way up until he wins a championship.

Which he absolutely will do in Houston, provided a couple things happen. For one, the Heat’s Big Three (and it is a big Three, don’t try to pretend to me that Bosh isn’t a top 15 player in the NBA) will have to break up after this next season. (A season in which they will win their third straight NBA championship, and that big loser LeBron will win another MVP award.) There is no way Mickey Arison is going to want to eat that much money again in luxury tax hits. At least one of them is going to be leaving. (And it’s a column for another time, but there is no way LeBron is going back to Cleveland. Or anywhere other than Miami. It will be Bosh or Wade who leave.)  The Heat doing a mini breakup will level the playing field for the other top contenders, and open the door to a team such as the Rockets possibly winning the championship two years from now.

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Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 6/11/11

1. Ultimate Warrior- Let’s sum up this week’s Warrior antics by simply saying he called out Hulk Hogan, essentially slandered the Hulkster, and is abusing his social media privileges by wildly saying things about another person that could get him in serious hot water. It’s a good thing Warrior doesn’t own shit except tassles and empty, decorative file cabinets, or Hogan’s potential lawsuit could cost Warrior his ass. (Maybe Destrucity will allow him to regenerate and grow a new ass.) – Eric

2. Hulk Hogan – On the other hand, Hulk Hogan has responded to Warrior’s attacks and accusations like a Real American: He’s threatening to sue. But that’s like putting a Band-Aid on throat cancer; you’re never going to keep someone as mind-boggly as Warrior quiet, so revert to your NWO days and run him over with a Hummer, or ignore him and, like the petulant 5-year-old he is, he’ll go away. – Eric

3. Matt Hardy – Apparently he is allergic to good decisions as well as red meat. Stupido posted a video of his inebriated brother using a taser gun on his girlfriend. Normally who cares but with Jeff up on drug trafficking charges maybe he shouldn’t be doing those things for public consumption. – Jeremy

4. Mick Foley – Mick and TNA have parted ways opening up the way for Mick to get back to WWE and stop slumming it. I’ll let Eric make the jokes but Mick needs to go back and replace Booker T. Wow has that idea not worked out at all. – Jeremy

5. Audio Sweetener – Someone, anyone, please teach TNA production how to use this thing. It sucks in the first place but when you try using it on 145 people it is just grating. If you amp up the cheering make sure you frame it so the tubs in the front row aren’t clearly sitting on their hands. This shit is easy. – Jeremy

6. Booker T – I think he is really good on Smackdown, so Jeremy can suck it on this. Look, when I’m watching baseball or basketball, I don’t want empty calorie cliches anywhere near my commentary. I want former players to tell me about what they would do in certain situations, what they did during certain situations, anecdotes from their playing days, why so and so always strikes out such and such, etc. But pro wrestling is different. Pro wrestling color was built on a foundation of empty cliches and meaningless yelling outbursts. Booker is funny and entertaining. I don’t look for anything else from him. The other announcers need to paint the picture. Booker is just there to add the accompanying Maddenesque “BOOM! BANG! POW!” stuff. – Dusty

7. Mick Foley – While I’m beating up Jeremy, I’ll continue with Foley here. Do you remember how absolutely terrible he was on commentary last time they tried that in WWE? Especially that ECW pay-per-view, which he almost single handedly ruined? Listen, I don’t want this guy anywhere near my television set. He has a gigantic ego, a small penis and no remaining skill whatsoever. I have his “performance” at that one Royal Rumble permanently etched into my mind, where rolling around on the mat like a bloated beached whale is what substituted for effort. So I definitely don’t want “one last match” from him. Nevermind the hypocrisy of him climbing back in the ring anyway after making such a big deal of his first retirement 100 years ago. He needs to go the fuck away. – Dusty

8. 1.0 – That was apparently the rating of this past week’s TNA Impact show, which I should note was the go-home show for the upcoming Slammiversary PPV. Even Stevie Wonder can use his voice to tell you that’s not a good rating. It’s really only a matter of time at this point. – Dusty

9. ODB – Speaking of Impact, you could apparently see ODB’s shaved vag stubble on that show on at least two separate occasions. Impact is the stuff nightmares are made of. – Dusty

10. Jinder Mahal – What do they see in this guy? What am I missing here? – Dusty

11. NBA Championship – The Heat are going to win in 7, mothertruckers. All hail King James! – Dusty

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