Dusty’s Blog: Five Very Important Basketball Opinionz 4 U

That’s right. I’m going to be inundating you all with blogs and nonsense until Jeremy completely takes away my posting abilities. Fuck everything.

In any event, the recent NBA Draft has renewed my interest in basketball. So here are five very important 04u concerning the NBA as it stands right now with offseason fury just about to heat up.

1. Bill Simmons is an idiot. No no no. You know what? I’m going to save this one for a blog tomorrow. Hold that thought.

1. The Decision 2.0. This one isn’t as important as Lebron James’ Decision, since it will lead to a grand total of 0 NBA Championships, but damn if there isn’t a lot of hubbub and excitement and general pants wetting about where Dwight Howard is going to end up.

It looks like he has five main options. Go back to the Lakers, or go to the Rockets, Mavericks, Hawks 0r Warriors. Now, the way I see it, the Warriors have a zero percent chance of getting him. They have next to no cap room, so they would have to do a sign-and-trade to get him. Problem is, all of their bad players are the ones making the most money. They would have to trade a bunch of their smaller contract good players to make it work, at which point it wouldn’t work at all, because all that would be left is Howard and the nonsense guys. Surely they know this, and the whole Howard courtship thing is probably just a PR move to show their fans they’re trying stuff.

I also don’t think he will be going back to the Lakers. He and Kobe supposedly can’t stand each other, and in Mike D’Antoni’s system, he and Pau Gasol occupy the exact same space. It’s just a poor fit. The Lakers will be better without him, too. Mark my words. And I don’t think it will be the Hawks, because historically, no player of any repute ever wants to go to Atlanta.

So it’ll come down to the Rockets or the Mavericks. I’m going to guess he chooses the Mavericks. And I haven’t been wrong about anything ever since 1982, so there you go. I can’t stand the guy – he thinks he’s funny when he’s not, he blocks shots into the crowd, and he’s just generally got an annoying way about him. I largely see him as a career good-player-on-a-bad-team type. But he’s got really good defensive advanced metrics, so you kinda have to want him if you got the money to get him. A Catch 22.

2. The Draft. I know the pick was largely panned, and there’s footage floating around the internet of the Bobcats fans booing the pick during the draft party in Charlotte, but I’m going to go out on a branch and say Cody Zeller is not only my favorite rookie this coming season, he’s going to win the Rookie of the Year award too.

He’s coming into a great situation. The Bobcats have no inside offense whatsoever. Bismarck Biyombo is good defensively but a black hole with the ball in his hands. Josh McRoberts is a solid role player, but nothing to write home about. Tyrus Thomas is a corpse. So there’s plenty of room for Zeller to get 20 points and 10 rebounds per game with enough playing time. He has a versatile, inside-outside game, and he can feed off the solid backcourt of Kemba Walker and Gerald Henderson. I’m not saying this is all of a sudden a playoff team or anything, just that it’s a good fit for both parties. We’ll see. I’m on the record.

3. The 76ers trade Jrue Holliday. The official trade was Holliday to the Pelicans (the fucking Pelicans) for Nerlens Noel and next year’s first round pick, provided it isn’t picks one through five. I absolutely love this deal for the Pelicans. For one thing, Holliday is an all star point guard, perhaps the most important position in basketball now that the traditional seven foot post up center has gone the way of the dodo bird. For another thing, he’s only 23 years old. For a third thing, I think Noel is total garbage.

Sure, he was the most hyped dood going into the draft this year. But he has several things working against. For one thing, he has no offensive game whatsoever. He makes Biyombo and Hasheem Thabeet look like Shaq in his prime. Or even Shaq now, probably. For another thing, he appears to weigh less than Kate Moss in her prime. Or even Kate Moss now. And for a third thing, he had a real sour grapes look on his face as he watched five guys get picked ahead of him in the draft. Now, I’m not any kind of body language expert (oh shit, I promised to talk about Bill Simmons next time, I keep forgetting), but I want a guy who handles that situation better. Give me a Full Metal Jacket, I’ve seen that before that doesn’t affect me at all look. Keep that sour puss to yourself, son.

4. The Knicks-Nets pissing contest. Talk about a dick measuring competition. They are so busy trying to one-up each other, I’m getting dizzy. But are they really doing anything productive? Let’s take a look here.

The Nets just made a big trade to get Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Jason Terry from the Celtics. I’m not a fan of this deal at all. Pierce might have something left, but Garnett is done and Terry sucks. If you do a straight up comparison of starters between the new look Nets and Pacers, the Pacers come out ahead everywhere except maybe point guard. Maybe Deron Williams is better than George Hill. But the Pacers have the other four spots on lock. And don’t even think the Nets are better than the Heat. Don’t make me laugh.

The Knicks are in even worse shape. They just traded a bunch of stuff (Steve Novak, Marcus Camby, Quentin Richardson and 832 draft picks) to the Raptors for Andrea Bargnani. This is complete insanity. I was telling Shahid the other day, I think Novak is better than Bargnani. He costs a lot less, is less injury prone and better looking. That point is debatable, but when you factor in everything else the Knicks gave up in order to get a really expensive injury guy who can’t play defense, it’s just dumb. It’s really fucking dumb. And what can I say about them courting Elton Brand. If ever there was a cry for help, there you go.

The bottom line is that neither team is better than the Heat and Pacers. The Nets are probably the third best team in the east again, and the Knicks take a step back. But man, they sure made some headlines!

5. The Clippers. I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk briefly about my childhood favorite team. Getting Doc Rivers for what would surely be a low draft pick, so that they can ensure re-signing Chris Paul was genius. And they just made a trade today, giving up Eric Bledsoe and Caron Butler and getting JJ Redick from the Bucks and Jared Dudley from the Suns. I like that deal a lot for them.

I’m going all in here, saying the Heat beat the Clippers in six in next year’s NBA Finals. If I’m wrong, I will simply delete this post so that you have no proof I ever made the prediction.

Stunt Granny Sports Show #10

1f6b195c-bebb-3b23-aa0e-0380f0bbe900So can you guess what Eric2 and Jeremy talk about this week? After a brief snafu with the numbering scheme the boys get down to business and make fun of the pomposity in the reactions to basebrawl between The Arizona Diamondbacks and The Los Angeles Dodgers. Was it even a brawl? Who released ten years of frustrations by strangling another persons jersey? Who has the best brawls in sports? Should they be allowed as part of the game?  Why don’t the bullpens just start fighting immediately instead of running all the way to the infield? Who are sports made for? When did sports marketing chnge to focus on families? Why the single paying customers have to put up with that? Should children even be allowed at games? The boys share their stadium experiences and explain why it was way better than it is today. Oh and how they turned out just fine with all of the things they hve seen and heard.  So give it  a listen. You have downloaded worse we are sure of it.

Stunt Granny Sports Show #9

Um, yes please.

Um, yes please.

OK look you know we are going to talk about Sergio Garcia and his suggestions for Tiger Woods. What’s the big deal? It is golf isn’t it racist anyway? How could things get ay worse right? Well you let the CEO of the European Tour open his stupid mouth right? This ay be the only golf break that ever occurs on Stunt Granny in any capacity so it may as well be on the latest edition of The Stunt Granny Sports Show. Yes, Eric2 and Jeremy are back and among mocking golf and its competitors they also cover some serious topics like sexual assault and how women give up on looking good once they are married. Yup that’s right . Pete Rose gets married and his wife immediately decides to change her appearance for the worse. How is that fair for old Charlie Hustle? Hasn’t he given and then suffered enough already? Shouldn’t he be treated like a king? How stupid is Jose Canseco? Is it stupidity or a greater problem of being aloof and arrogant? What person wouldn’t be terrified and hiding in the face of sexual assault allegations? Why would any rational person go against his attorneys orders and blather on o the media? What kind of dummy taunts the accuser on Twitter? What exactly is Ozzie Canseco up to right now anyway? Is this a Lifetime movie in the works? They also break down how the media victimize itself in the face of athletes hiding things and hurting them. It really is quite funny how this always happens. There is some NHL playoff talk that somehow melds in to NBA playoff talk and then back to NHL talk and a nice dose of Henry The Hockey Hound being fed up taking matters in to his own hands when it comes to bacon. Oh yeah and Miguel Cabrera. So get to downloading the show and enjoy the randomness. It is funny, at least it should be. Really not sure since no one has listened to it again. In the moment it came across as funny. We could be wrong so download it already. OK?

Stunt Granny Sports Show #8

This has nothing to do with anything other than being awesome.

This has nothing to do with anything other than being awesome.

All right everyone are you ready for another edition of Stunt Granny Sports Show? Wait, where you going? Seriously stay here and listen. Eric2 and Jeremy are back again in continue their conversation from last week o gay and lesbian athletes in professional American sports. How convenient was it that Jason Collins came out a ere three days after Stunt Granny Sports Show #7 was posted? Was this part of a coup for Stunt Granny? Nope; it was mere coincidence. Anyway, the fellas talk about Jason Collins and his decision to open up about his sexuality.How does his former fiancee feel about this?  Now that he is out will he find it harder to find a job? Does his status as an “end of the bench player” hurt his job opportunities? Will anyone remember him once the next NBA season free agency period begins? How did Metta World Peace get in on the action?  Then here is Geno Smith?Is this guy really as bad as you are led to believe ? Is this just another poor decision by The New York Jets? Why does there seem to always be the on “it”person that receives mountains of scrutiny? Is it justified? Should we be thanking Geno Smith for ridding the airwaves of Tim Tebow talk? Kobe Bryant is kind of a polarizing figure and boy has he not helped himself now. Who sends out a cease and desist letter on one of his own mothers auctions? Well when the woman is trying to sell your stuff for a profit when you won’t give her all the money she wants for a house then you have your answer. Is Kobe obligated to pay outright for his moms house just because he makes ridiculous money? Does their icy history mean this is going to turn ugly? There is also a discussion about the NCAA and their failed practices of not offering health coverage for athletes according to The Atlantic. It is a startling read and should not be ignored like it has by ESPN and most major outlets. So read that and then listen to the show because he guys have their opinions on all this and much more so give it a listen.

Stunt Granny Sports Show #7

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Yeah that’s right after a week or two off it is the return of The Stunt Granny Sports Show. Jeremy and Eric2 bring the insight about the important things in sports. What would that be you might ask? Well, how about the round one of the NFL Draft? Was the choice of E.J. Manuel really that bad? What should the Buffalo Bills have done with their harvest of picks? Did they actually need to take a quarterback at all? How exactly did the NFL Draft become the vet that it is now? Remember when it was covered primarily to make fun of Jets fan? They also talk about the NFL minor leagues ad he new College Football Playoff. What a weak name but could you do better? Is the four team playoff enough? Why not include all of the bowls instead of a select six? Why the hell is it the Chick-Fil-A Bowl instead of the much better Peach Bowl? Does it matter since it will be 2025 before it can change? They then discuss the first , possibly, openly gay football player. Does sexuality matter at all in sports? Why didn’t this story receive any mainstream coverage while he was at school? Is it more acceptable to be a gay college athlete than a professional? Does it mean as much that a kicker come out as openly gay instead of a defensive lineman? What is the bigger issue; being gay in pro sports or being gay and dropping a game winning pass?  It will all makes sense as long as you listen. So get to downloading!

Stunt Granny Sports Show #6

Higher education.

Higher education.

After another schedule snafu the boys are back talking a lot of sports in that Stunt Granny style. Eric2 and Jeremy get in to the big story of the past week and yes that mean Florida Gulf Coast. Who the hell goes to this school? How does ay higher learning occur when your dorm is off of a pool and an ocean? Who are these players? By the time this posts they will be beaten by Florida anyway so who cares really.  What is up with Chicago sports teams and their gimmicky intermission and seventh inning stretch shenanigans?  How has Mr. T maintained his celebrity status for all of these years without ay real work being done in the last thirty? Is he the smartest celebrity hockey intermission player of all time? Would you drink a milkshake mixed with ice cream and beer? Why not? It is made with craft beer? No? Still not tempted? Well The Charleston RiverDogs are betting you will be enticed. Oh minor league sports. Why is Tim McClelland calling balls and strikes from behind the mound? Has this ever been done before? There is a whole lot more on this weeks extra big edition so get to downloading already. (Full admission, we lost the links so, um, yeah you will have to find it all on your own this week.)

Stunt Granny Sports Show #6

TNA is finally profitable on pay-per-views

It took a little help, but they got finally got there! Quote:

Earlier this year the U.S. authorities arrested Yonjo Quiroa of Comstock Park on suspicion of operating several websites that linked to unauthorized sports streams. Following his arrest, Quiroa was detained for more than nine months, and he has now been sentenced to time already served plus deportation to his home country. In addition the site admin has to pay restitution to five major sports leagues, totaling $13,000.

Under the flag of Operation Fake Sweep, the Department of Justice and Homeland Security’s ICE unit seized several domains belonging to major sports streaming sites in February.

In addition to pulling these sites offline the feds also arrested 28-year-old Yonjo Quiroa of Comstock Park, Michigan. Quiroa was apprehended for allegedly operating nine of the seized domains and was jailed pending trial.

The sites in question, including hq-streams.tv, sportswwe.com and sports95.com, did not host any infringing files but listed hyperlinks to streams offered by popular third-party services such as Justin.tv.

In the criminal complaint an ICE officer states that through these links he was able to access unauthorized streams of NBA, NHL and WWE events. The complaint further noted that during 2010 and 2011 Quiroa grossed $13,000 by running advertisements on his sites.

In the months following his arrest Quiroa was held in custody without bail. In August he avoided trial by entering a guilty plea for a copyright misdemeanor on the understanding that he would receive a sentence of between 6 and 12 months.

After nine months in custody Quiroa was sentenced late last week.

District Court Judge Robert Ellis sentenced the former site admin to time served for one count of criminal copyright infringement. In addition, it was ordered that Quiroa should be deported to his home country after paying $25 in criminal penalties.

The largest monetary penalty, however, comes from the restitution he has to pay to several sports leagues. The $13,000 Quiroa earned in revenue was counted as losses to the sports majors so the NBA, NFL, NHL, WWE and TNA will each get $2,600.

Losses and restitution

The verdict is the first against the operator of a sports streaming link site in the United States and sets the bar for similar cases in the future.

This includes the pending case of Brian McCarthy, the owner of Texas-based sports streaming site Channelsurfing.net, who was arrested Match 2011.

The sentencing for a lesser misdemeanor crime also raises questions about the looming extradition of UK student Richard O’Dwyer. The U.S. wants to extradite O’Dwyer for his involvement in TVShack, a site linking to TV steams.

The Department of Justice has yet to comment on the outcome of the current case. Interestingly no press release was sent out, unlike in February when the arrest of Quiroa was widely distributed over the news wire. – Dusty

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