Shahid’s Blog: Cracked Glasses of Nostalgia – An Adult’s Walk Down ECW’s Memory Lane

ecw I remembered being depressed after moving from Philadelphia to Atlantic City during my high school years.  Separated from my family, friend and comfortable surroundings for a dump of a coastal city was a jarring experience.  WWF wasn’t helping either – Friar Ferguson and Beverly Bros/Money Inc main event matches would turn any smile upside down.  On a random Thursday evening, I stumbled upon a new wrestling promotion.  Gritty, small, loud and realistic, it instantly drew me in.  Regardless of the fact that I was watching a plodding match featuring Tully Blanchard, I was enchanted by the promos, violence and music of what was known as Eastern Championship Wrestling.  I can vividly recall talking to like minded individuals about how ECW was actually real, instead of that scripted crap of the WWF.  Seeing Sandman, a fat drunkard with a cigarette with Woman or Missy Hyatt on his arm just seemed authentic on some visceral level.  Hearing adult promos from Cactus Jack, Steve Austin and Shane Douglas made WCW and WWF seem quaint and childish.  State of the art matches from Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho,  Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit…..violent brawls from the Public Enemy, the Pitbulls, Terry Funk….Sabu vs Taz…Raven terrorizing Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman…..sexy females with scant clothing and even less decorum.  ECW was a teenager’s dream.  Hearing the Gangstas come out to Natural Born Killers to engage in a blood bath made a Bret Hart match seem boring as can be.  I can remember waking up at 1 am to watch an ECW episode consisting of a pissed off Steve Austin just spitting venom at Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes and WCW.  In a pre screw job, pipe bomb, real name era, it was as if someone had a peephole behind the magic rasslin curtain.  By the time they invaded Monday Night Raw to promote their first PPV, I was a full-fledged ECW acolyte.

Now, I’m sure there are many individuals in my age group that share similar joyous memories of ECW.  Even with One Night Stand and a brief resurgence led by Paul Heyman, it still felt hollow and empty, missing that rebellious fire of the 90s.  So when the WWE Network arrived, ECW was the first area delved into, due to an adolescent fondness. Even though it lacked the music and didn’t have the weekly shows, I was excited to see how well it held up.  So I watched a few ppvs and weekly shows and then watched a few more.  I tried jumping around during various time periods, hoping to shake this nagging sensation.  After a week of watching, I had to admit to myself that ECW, like many teenage passions, didn’t age well.

I won’t use revisionist history and proclaim ECW an overrated vanity project and minor league system.  It was enjoyable and revolutionary, and I will always cherish those teenage memories.  But watching it now is borderline painful.  Seeing the Sandman no longer brings feelings of awe and admiration. Now, I witness a slovenly bum who was a perfect example of smoke and mirrors.  Instead of rooting for the underdog story of Mikey Whipreck, I scoffed at the notion that he could ever beat Steve Austin in a match (side note – him pinning Austin killed any notion that ECW wasn’t predetermined).  I can understand the reasoning and logic behind pushing individuals like Tommy Dreamer and Justin Credible, instead of superior talent such as Chris Benoit and Rob Van Dam.  But as a fan today, I have little tolerance of watching Eddie Guerrero in the midcard, for fear of being snatched away by WCW and WWF.  For all of the wonderful long term angles pulled off by ECW, there were too many instances of inconsistent referees, match stipulations, and haphazard PPV’s.  If WWE tried to pull the ol “Let’s announce two matches, and we’ll work out the rest of the details later” style of booking, they would get crucified. I almost forget, they did try that…it was called December to Dismember, and it was universally panned.

The biggest issue with ECW is the same factor which added to its popularity – the extreme violence.  Seeing someone kick out from a power bomb through a flaming table with thumbtacks, only to get rolled up due to seeing the 34DD’s of Francine seems asinine today.  The constant one-upping of finishing moves led to many negative habits, not only by ECW, but by WCW and WWF. WCW was rightfully mocked for taking the piss out of ECW concepts, featuring hardcore matches with cotton candy used as a weapon.  But as an adult, I prefer that approach more so than WWF, which raised the bar to an extremely dangerous level i.e. Hell in a Cell with Undertaker-Mankind, and the myriad TLC matches.  Classic events, but considering the mark left on many of the individuals, something that is watched with trepidation.  But nothing makes me cringe more than the chair shots to the head.  When I first saw Tommy Dreamer plaster Raven square in his hipster face, I remember screaming like a girl at a Bobby Brown concert.  But after current knowledge of concussions and long term damage, I can’t help but cringe. I won’t even touch upon the menace known as New Jack (that’s a column for another day.)

As far as the adult content, what seemed risqué as a teenager comes off as misogynistic and trashy today.  Shane Douglas cussing every 3rd word makes him come off as an uncouth doofus. For every great promo from Raven or Cactus jack, there was some nonsense from the Pitbulls, or some foul mouthed diatribe from Rhino. And it wasn’t restricted to the wrestlers – hearing an arena full of angry men chanting crack whore or she has herpes doesn’t seem cool anymore.  I’m definitely not a prude, and I specifically remember the eye candy of ECW very fondly.  Between Beulah, Missy Hyatt, Woman, Francine and Dawn Marie, ECW definitely upped the sex appeal factor from the almost quaint days of Missy Hyatt and Sunny.  Today – well, seeing a skinny broad with some silicone enhancements taking a pile driver just seems unclean.  Any doubts to ECW being a mainstream entertainment vehicle vanished with my wife’s utter look of disgust after hearing a Dudley Boys promo.  My “it was a different era, baby”  didn’t hold much weight.

Regardless of my experience, I’m very grateful for the opportunity to traverse down memory lane with a more mature point of view.  ECW will always have a fond place in my heart, and I am grateful and cognizant of its effect on professional wrestling.  However, next time someone complains about Vince’s asinine booking and longs for the halcyon days of Paul Heyman, gently remind them that Steve Corino and Justin Credible were ECW World Champions, but Rob Van Dam and Stunning Steve Austin weren’t. And then tape their expressions for YouTube. -Shahid

Have you ever known New Jack to stab somebody?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

Strap is down, motherfuckers. – Dusty

New Jack doesn’t particularly care for Jerry Lawler

New Jack, pictured above, playing a sad song for Jerry Lawler on the world’s smallest guitarolin.

Peep this, from Lords of Pain:

Upon news surfacing Monday night that WWE Hall of Famer Jerry “The King” Lawler had suffered a heart attack duringRaw, fellow wrestler Jerome “New Jack” Young, “The Original Gangsta,” went on a scathing rant on Twitter (account located at Twitter.com/NewJackUncut) attacking the legendary Memphis figure.

He wrote, “Just heard about Lawler…fuck that racist motherfucka…die slow,you fucking cock sucker

“If lawler dies,let me know where his grave is so,I can go piss on it…fuck that bitch

“Please let me know where they put that fucka in the ground so,I can piss on his grave.”

Responding to fans, he continued, “Bitch,I’m not here to make you happy and if what I said hurts…GO FUCK YOURSELF…FAN

“I don’t work for a fucking fan so,if what I say hurts ur lil white feeling…SO FUCKING WHAT…YOU ARE FOLLOWING ME BITCH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!

“I have really out done myself this time huh…1st Terri then Brian knobbs gets knocked the fuck out,I beat da shit outta balls and now jerry.”

Young then revealed that his diatribe partially stems from James “Kamala” Harris, another Memphis wrestling legend, not receiving as much as adulation and support as Lawler after having both of his legs amputated within the past year.

“When Kamala was going through some shit,nobody said shit so,now this shit with Lawler is supposed to touch me…FUCK EVERY ONE OF YOU!!!” he wrote.

Young also clarified that he’s not racist following his racially-charged rant: “Fyi,my 2 kids are from a white woman so,the next 1 of you mother fuckers call me racist,I will send you a free dvd…dammit!!!”

Some of New Jack’s best friends are white. Y’all are just haters. – Dusty

Extreme Reunion 2012 Was A Rousing Success

Raven and Sandman going at it.

As I start this post, this was the only results post on you-know-what page:

Hey Dave.  I’m sure you’ve probably gotten match results from others (and lord knows I don’t remember them), so I’ll just give a few notes from the show:

–Place was PACKED.  I’d say at least 3/4 of the people there were standing.  Made it impossible to see what was happening when they fought outside the ring (which they did in every match).

–It was definitely a bit of an older crowd compared to old ECW shows back in the day.  It basically looked like everyone from the old days had grown up; not a lot of kids or teens there.  I was actually quite surprised how many guys had attractive girls there with them.  Not something I saw a lot of back in the day at ECW shows.  Hey good for them!

–The show did start late.  They aired a video package in tribute for all the wrestlers who have died in the last decade and then a taped promo by Douglas but the sound wasn’t working.  Nice touch but not a good omen.

–The show started with a tag team match with 4 guys whose name I couldn’t hear.  Crowd hated it.

–They then did a “match” with 2 more indy guys.  One of them was this little tiny Asian guy who took the mic before the match and started talking to the audience in a high-pitched voice that made him sound like William Hung.  Then this guy comes from the crowd and told both of the wrestlers in the ring to scram.  Nobody had any idea who this guy was.  He then called out Shane Douglas, who didn’t show up.  Funny thing was that Shane was literally standing right behind us in the crowd.

–Then the “ECW” part of the show started with the FBI vs BWO.  Richards, Marmaluke, and Guido were probably the only 3 guys on the entire show in good shape.  Match was total comedy.  Highlight was Guido and Meanie doing a thumb wrestling war on the mat with the ref giving a 2 count when Meanie had Guido’s thumb down.  The same unknown dude from the last segment distracted Richards for the finish.  It was never explained who this guy was.

–CW Anderson and Al Snow were next.  Anderson looks like he’s about 60 now.  Snow was grossly overweight.  He was winded just from doing his entrance.  Match was a disaster.  Anderson put an armbar on Snow no less than 5 times.  There were several chants of “Armmmmmmmmmbar” as a homage to the old Chris Jericho “Man of 1004 Holds” promo.  Snow beat up Head after the match and then went running back begging for forgiveness, which was actually pretty entertaining.

–The segment with The Gangstas vs Angel was also pretty bizarre.  Angel came out asking for someone to be his partner (did Devito no show?) but nobody came.  Gangstas then came out (Mustafa looking absolutely huge and not in a good way) and beat him up for 3 minutes before the indy guys from the 1st match came in, beat them up for like a minute, and then left.  One of them looked to have gotten into a legit fight with a fan on the way out that was broken up by security, but it was hard to tell.  Complete waste of time.

–Somewhere in here they did a planned spot where the ring announcer was making some general announcements, the lights went out, and they brought out a stripper to try and recreate the Kimona Wannalaya strip tease from that time they lost power at the ECW Arena.  The stripper basically just writhed around on the mat like a sizzling piece of bacon in a skillet.  It was a little weird.

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So Brian Knobbs got knocked the bleep out last night

Here is the report:

The official Facebook page of former ECW superstar Jerome “New Jack” Young notes that at an independent wrestling event last night in Clearwater, Florida, he was involved in an altercation with Brian Knobbs, which resulted in Knobbs being knocked out in front of a locker room full of wrestlers. New Jack noted that Knobbs stopped by with his wife and 2 other people and for some unknown reason, Knobbs felt like he needed to mess around with New Jack on and off for a while and that Knobbs, who was drinking, came in, gave a speech and told New Jack that he couldn’t wrestle, which New Jack stated is the last thing that Knobbs probably remembers before being knocked out.
 
Those who I’ve spoken to about the altercation are wondering why Knobbs even made the comments in the first place knowing quite well that it would not only rile up New Jack, but also a few members of the locker room also. One promoter who contacted me about this and will remain anonymous stated that there are good people in wrestling and bad people in wrestling and then there’s Brian Knobbs and that he’s delighted that Knobbs finally got what he deserved and hopes that the boys in the back on the night praised New Jack as he finally reacted to what Knobbs’ has been getting away with for years.
 
More details:
 
After a show last night in Largo, FL at Gasoline Alley, Brian Knobs came into the dressing room and was giving a lot of the wrestlers an earful about how they didn’t know how to work and didn’t get it. Knobs then specifically told that to New Jack, saying that New Jack didn’t know how to wrestle. New Jack then punched Knobs in the face, knocking him into the wall. Knobs then came back and pulled New Jack to the ground, but New Jack got up from the ground a lot faster than Knobs, and when Knobs was down, he kicked him in the face, knocking him out in front of everyone. I’m sure more versions will surface from other eye witnesses in the next few days.
 
What I want to know is, with how long he’s been in the wrestling business, how come there was never a universally established way of spelling his name? Is it Knobbs or Knobs, for fuck’s sake?! Also, if Jack is in Florida, Mike Ryan needs to get him on the Lebatard Show pronto! In studio. Only Roy is safe. – Dusty

New Jack: Killer For Hire

So yeah, read this:

Have these bitches lost there fucking minds or what? Tammy Sytch from wwe called me this past weekend asked me would I kill her ex boyfriend who is a cop in jersey,because he has abused her and beat the shit outta her for the past 5yrs.I’m sure y’all are finding this hard to believe,just like the other,but please believe it!I have a signing and a show in jersey this weekend and i will be staying at a hotel in jersey for two days,but believe this when I say it…I’M NOT COMING TO JERSEY TO TRY AND KILL A GUY(COP)FOR TAMMY OR NOBODY ELSE…WTF!!!TAMMY,HERE IS A LITTLE WORD OF ADVICE…DO UR OWN GOTDAMN DIRTY WORK YOU CRAZY BITCH!!!PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO HER AND BY THE WAY,THE COPS NAME IS JOHN…CRAZY FUCKING BITCH!!!
 
Okay, deep breath here.  Let’s try to process this information, shall we:
 
1.) New Jack seems decidedly more anti-crazy bitch than anti-cop here, which seems to suggest he is softening.
 
2.) He seems to be saying he doesn’t give a fuck all if the cop actually dies, as long as it is made clear that he is not the one who did the killing. That is admirable.
 
3.) All he can get these days are crazy, past their prime white women. That is because all the black women are like, “Jack, you done lost your whole entire mind, fool!”
 
4.) Drugs are awesome.
 
I got nothing else here, so I’ll leave you with Jack telling Sunny stories. – Dusty
 
SMW 1994,I think it was Rex King…Candido gets in the shower,leaving Tammy and Rex in the living room.Chris exits the show to find Rex,with his dick down Tammy’s throat!oh the is going to get much better..
 
ECW…PPV…NEW ORLEANS…TAMMY SHOW UP HIGH AND WANTING PERCS.STUMBLES UP(LITERALLY)ON 1 OF THE BOYS AND THEY EXIT THE BUILDING,TO ONLY CAUGHT WITH C COCK IN HAND AND MOUTH AND PERCS IN THE OTHER!!!…THIS IS SO FUN…NOW SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT ME…COME ON!!!

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 8/13/11

1. Triple H – Okay, so he still reminds us that he bigfoots everything, but his placement in the main event of Summerslam does add a bit more intrigue. – Jeremy

2. Gail Kim – She wants out of WWE and they refuse to let her go since they know she will head back to TNA. This brings up the question, when the hell did she sign with WWE? – Jeremy

3. WWE Firings – Is this the first time in the history of WWE’s Black Friday that the internet didn’t get all up in arms? Like, you know, straight trippin’ and all.– Jeremy

4. John Morrison – Speaking of firings, John Morrison proves himself to be the town toolbag by sprinting to his whore girlfriend Melina’s defense when she gets justifiably fired. “Her face shows every emotion,” right? Yep, from smirking bitch to smiling cunt. She makes J-Lo look like Meryl Streep, and she wrestles about as well as both of them, too. Enter Morrison, who by a stroke of Rey Mysterio’s bad luck is now the No. 2 babyface on Raw. Your time will come, too, HBKantCutIt.– Eric

5. Rey Mysterio’s Knee – Does this mean WWE edits its “Don’t Try This at Home” PSA to have Rey-Rey say, “Iee’ve had surgeree SEEEX TIEEMES in my left kneeeee”? – Eric

6. Johnny Gargano vs. Josh Prohibition vs. “M Dogg 20” Matt Cross – PWO’s Wrestlelution 4: Overdrive weekend was an overall success. This match though stood out above all else. It wasn’t perfect, but I’d have to say that it was the second best match I’ve seen this year and definitely the best live.  This match showed a ton of athleticism, hard hitting moves and a nice aerial attack. The crowd was the hottest it was all day which always helps in my eyes. Get the DVD when it comes out. – Kevin

7.  The Miz lip synchs with some gross-ass muppet named Keenan Cahill – I laughed about this post by Eric for a solid 24 hours. I couldn’t get Teddy Yuckspin out of my head either. Funny shit. Read it again. – Kevin

8. So You Think You Can Dance – My DVR prioritized SYTYCD over iMPACT Wrestling. I did tape the last hour and I wish I hadn’t. Kurt Angle is in Immortal after fighting it for months, Mr. Anderson is out of it after a cup of coffee, the X Division was told to sit down because the meeting would take a while then told to get out a minute later, Jackie & ODB are “playing nice” and acting like they may break up, the Jarretts are only the second worst Mexican American act on the program and Crimson continued his winning streak then got beat down by Angle. Trust me, I’m more embarrassed to admit I watch TNA then SYTYCD. – Kevin

9. Mickie James – There’s an article that can be read online (http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1444468367/mickie-james-is-making-a-new-record) that contains these words:

Hey y’all!  Thanks for dropping by my Kickstarter page!  I’m the luckiest girl in the world.  Throughout my career with WWE Wrestling, TNA and Impact Wrestling, and my music career, I’m amazed at how many AWESOME fans I have.

I’m getting ready to go into the studio to record a new project, and I wanted to find a way to offer you a chance to not just pre-order the CD, but to have an exclusive chance to get some other goodies that have never been available  (and won’t be available again!).

Take a look at the options over there on the right of the page and pre-order the one that you want.  Don’t wait too long, though, ‘cause once the Kickstarter campaign is over….it’s OVER baby!!

Several things about this come to mind. One, it is absolutely gross for a celebrity to ask for cash donations from “common folks” during a terrible economy. Absolutely gross. Two, watching that video, she kind of looks like a fat Francine now. Fatcine? And yes, I can call her fat because I am fat. Fuck you. Three, “Kickstarter” is a terrible album name. And four, she’s basically asking for $25 to throw in a personal thank you video. I had no idea blank VHS tapes were that much now. How come everything associated with TNA is soaked in trailer park? – Dusty

10. Terri Runnels-New Jack Update – According to Twinkleberry Hound:

Terri Runnels filed a suit on 8/8 in Florida State circuit court against former boyfriend Jerome “New Jack” Young, accusing Young of libel for remarks he’s made on the Internet about her and attempting to get a legal order prohibiting Young of selling nude photos of her.
Runnels, 44, has written that Runnels begins every morning by popping pain pills, drinking vodka and cranbery juice at 5:30 a.m. and also accused her of exposing partners to sexually transmitted diseases.
The Orlando Sentinel, at http://www.sun-sentinel.com/ has a story with reaction quotes by Young who claimed that everythig he has said or written about her is true, but said things others have said about her, such as her exposing people to sexually transmitted diseases, may be untrue.
Young said he took the nude photos of Runnels with her consent. He said he has not sold any of the photos, but may have sent them toa friend, and said that’s not a crime.
Runnels said she consented to the photos, but believed they would be kept private.
Runnels attorney said he feared Young would start selling the photos before the case culd be heard and is asking Judge Linda Schoonover for an injunction to prohibit it.

According to New Jack:

TRerrido you really think i give a shit about this stank ass,fake ass bitch Terri Runnels.that bitch is so broke now,that she is trying to sue Newjack to get money to pay on her house,which has been in foreclosure for over two years.i have moved own,i got my life together,got a fine ass woman with a masters degree and she knows how to handle me and she new that i was playing this bitch for a fool and she has now proven,thats what she is…a gotdamn fool.!!!
According to me, right now:
 
I wish to impregnate Terri Runnels.
 
11. Football – Put your face as close to the screen as possible and read this: FOOTBALL!!! – Dusty

In the case of Terri Runnels v. New Jack

Unrelated to the below story, here's a picture of an Austrian dude with a spaghetti strainer on his head.

Some new evidence has come to light, courtesy of this http://www.facebook.com/notes/new-jack/she-drew-first-blood-now-terri-runnels-is-toast/179764132087945:

In response to Terri Runnels and the garbage she is saying
1. I left Terri because she is an bi-polar alcoholic who gets every morning at 5:30 to make a very stiff vodka and cranberry….. EVERY MORNING!!
 
2. She’s hooked on percs,,,, BAD!!

3. She is very big liar and the Terri Runnels that you(the world) know is totally different from who I had to deal with. She not that little sweet innocent girl she pretends to be.

4. Her house is in foreclosure (public record) and been there for 2 years and she thought I was gonna be her savior.

5. She doesn’t want a man. She wants a butler and or driver.

6. She let her daughter bring a online stranger over for Christmas without checking him out. (WHAT KIND OF PARENT IS THAT)

.. BUT ONE THE MAIN REASONS IS THAT I FOUND OUT (the hard way) THAT SHE HAD HERPES SINCE SHE WAS 18 AND HAD NO PROBLEMS HIDING FROM PEOPLE WHILE HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX. I’M WAITING FOR MY TEST RESULTS …UPDATES COMING)

TRUST ME THIS IS GOING MUCH BIGGER THAN THE INTERNET!!

Just, several things come to mind here. One is, I would still crawl through a desert of broken glass just to hear a recording of Terri Runnels’ fart. Two, I’m surprised New Jack didn’t have herpes already. And three, most importantly, Facebook is basically the world’s garbage can, whether it be Marty Jannetty dumping random pictures into the garbage can or New Jack dumping these words into the garbage can, or what have you. It just is. – Dusty

I think New Jack is dating Terri Runnels

new jack terri

I ain’t sayin’ shit.

I’m sure I’m not the only one, especially of the people who read this Web site, but my Facebook has been overrun by professional wrestlers in my friend suggestions. I’m OK with that, because pro wrestlers a) are people, too, and I know how to talk to people, b) are people, too, and might have interests similar to mine, and c) on occasion appreciate the outreach of their fans, especially when it’s legitimate and not just “DOOD U AR TEH BEST!”

Taking those three things into consideration, I find it strange that New Jack popped up on my friend recommendations. Yes, he’s a person, but I would hardly know how to talk to a guy with multiple justifiable homicides under his belt (but I could still laugh at him saying he can get over “in a mini-skirt and flip-flops”). Yes, he’s a person with interests, but his are more “The Education of Sonny Carson” and Bootsy Collins, and mine are more “Black Belt Jones” and, well, Bootsy Collins. And I’m not really sure if he gives a good god damn whether I tell him I appreciate his hard work stapling dollar bills to fat people’s heads.

But if there’s one thing we have in common, it’s a love of white women. No, I’m not being racist, you assholes, I’m basing this off of Jack’s marital status as “In a relationship” and all of the photos of him with Terri Runnels in his photo album. Maybe they’re staged to get people talking, maybe they’re legit. Who knows? One person did comment on a photo of the two to say he was “happy for you both.” Well, I’m happy for them both, too, especially Terri, who was quoted in a Pro Wrestling Torch interview a few years ago as once giggling at Brock Lesnar’s “little red penis.” Looks like she’s moved on, huh? Once you go Jack, you never go back. -Eric

UPDATE: Dusty just told me that he knew of this weeks ago and asked me to verify, but I didn’t. Interracial harmony must not have been a priority of mine that day, and now I wish it was.

new jack terri

Actual Dakota Runnels called this picture "awkward." I call it precious.

 

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