Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #iMPACTWrestling

I had no idea there was a Vietnamese Restaurant across the street.

I’m so glad to have learned that I have a Vietnamese restaurant named Lac Viet. I love watching No Reservations and Bizarre Foods. I also watch a large batch of cooking shows. Any show that has mentioned Vietnam, they’ve raved about Pho. I got my first taste of it this past Sunday. I finished the leftovers before I started this review. Ridiculously awesome stuff. Anybody that comes to Columbus will get to try this place. Just excellent. Enough about food. Let’s roll.

We get review of Sting/Bobby Roode/James Storm. I love how Brandon Jacobs is “returning” to iMPACT. Stupid taping schedule. I might have to start drinking during this show anytime they mention Twitter. They’re getting to be as bad as the WWE. Bobby Roode runs down Sting and claims that he is going to retire tonight. Crimson & Matt Morgan are arguing. They’re going to win back the tag titles. They come out shortly after. Samoa Joe & Magnus come out. Tenay is still selling the unbeaten streak of Crimson. No one cares. Crimson nails the pole with a shoulder as they hit a commercial break.

Morgan gets the hot tag not long after the break ends. Joe makes the weakest save I’ve ever seen. Then Magnus runs at Crimson after Joe got knocked down. How dumb. It looks like Morgan & Crimson are going to feud again. Another communication gaffe. The segment makes sense now but I still hate them breaking up. Why did they get put together in the first place?

Brandon Jacobs comes out from the back this week. Evidently he’s drinking buddies with James Storm. He is not doing well. Jacobs shouldn’t have been past the guard rail. He’s back in Bully’s territory because they have unfinished business. He calls out Bully Ray. He does a good job with the chicken shit heel promo. They go to break as Jacobs runs after him.

Jacobs is still looking for him in the back. James Storm and Jeff Hardy stop him and give him an offer he likes. Zema Ion is taking on Alex Shelley. Ion starts things out with a drop kick thru the ropes. Shelley is allowed to recover when he gets tossed into the ring. Austin Aries comes out for a ring side seat. Good match so far as Shelley hits a suicide dive. Ion uses the hair spray to blind Shelley, nails a couple of moves and gets the win.

They recap the Eric/Garrett Bischoff feud. Garrett is going to keep on fighting. Everyone loses matches, why is this loss so big? Hogan reminds him that he’s going to have a bulls eye on his back because of his father. For some reason, Garrett’s going to get jumped. Um, why aren’t people jumping people all the time then? Madison Rayne says that Gail’s competition wasn’t good enough for Gail. I have said I think heels should turn on each other more but having Gail & Madison along with Ion & Aries going at the same time makes things really strange.

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TNA Audio #6 – The Ghost Of Big Dick Dudley

Silly babyface, champagne is for heels.

This week, Dusty and Matt focus on the February 16 edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. This is a very special Impact, because it just so happened to fall on Dusty’s birthday. Did TNA celebrate Dusty’s birthday properly? Well, you can find out by listening to this audio as our intrepid heroes delve into such topics as:

-Why do fat ECW alums have such great calves?

-So Cal Val must have used her stroke backstage with the powers to be because she appeared on this episode no fewer than two times!

-Who exactly was that MMA announcer jabroni and why was he being interviewed by Christy Hemme?

-Why is it that Brandon Jacobs is tougher than any wrestler in the locker room?

And a whole lot more stuff about a show that they both enjoyed, in an audio replete with Under Siege and Daria references for your entertainment, and it’s only going to cost you about an hour of your time, so if you have a heart at all, you’ll wish Dusty a happy happy birthday by downloading this bad boy immediately.

Stunt Granny TNA Audio Show #6

WrestleMania 29 Announcement

So it’s going to be in New Jersey next year. Outdoors.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie will head a press confernce tomorrow to announce the 2013 version of WresteMania will be held at Metlife Stadium, outdoors, in East Rutherford, NJ. The date for the show was not announced other than a release saying early April, so likely the first Sunday of April, which is April 7. March 31 is also a possibility.

Representatives of the WWE, the New York Jets and the New York Giants are expected at the press conference. This will be the first time WrestleMania will be in the Northeast at an outdoor venue, which, unless precautions are made, could be a weather risk.

 
I strongly believe they should have held off doing a show at this venue until SummerSlam 2013, but at the very least this probably means WrestleMania 30 won’t be held at Madison Square Garden, which is awesome because I cannot stand watching shows held there. – Dusty
 
Update #1 – I bet Theo Huxtable will be there, since it’s right near his place.
Cliff:: All right. Now you have got to have an apartment, because you are not going to live here. [taking more money]So an apartment in Manhattan will run you at least $400 a month.
Theo: I’ll live in New Jersey. [takes back $200]

Update #2 – Thanks to my good friends at weather.org, here is the weather history for April 7 in East Rutherford the past five years, just to give us some kind of idea of what we might be able to expect. I’m really going above and beyond the call of duty with this post, I know.

2011 – http://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KTEB/2011/4/7/DailyHistory.html?req_city=East+Rutherford&req_state=NJ&req_statename=New+Jersey

2010 – http://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KTEB/2010/4/7/DailyHistory.html?req_city=NA&req_state=NA&req_statename=NA

2009 – http://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KTEB/2009/4/7/DailyHistory.html?req_city=NA&req_state=NA&req_statename=NA

2008 – http://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KTEB/2008/4/7/DailyHistory.html?req_city=NA&req_state=NA&req_statename=NA

2007 – http://www.wunderground.com/history/airport/KTEB/2007/4/7/DailyHistory.html?req_city=NA&req_state=NA&req_statename=NA

So they’re probably hoping for a repeat of 2010’s temperatures, but it’s more likely we’re going to get mid-40s with a minute chance of precipitation.

Update #3 – I just noticed that he speculated a show announced for early April could get held on the last day of March. What a goddamn moron.

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